


Everybody Loves Stark

by tinyglamdramaqueen



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: A lot of smut so beware, Chubby bucky barnes, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/F, F/M, Heavy Partying, Multi, Multiple Partners, Oral Sex, Reader is a Stark, Sex, Smut, Vaginal Sex, age gap, mentioned drug use
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-16
Updated: 2020-02-12
Packaged: 2020-06-29 20:54:11
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 101,370
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19838335
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinyglamdramaqueen/pseuds/tinyglamdramaqueen
Summary: Y/N Stark is the most infamous ‘it girl’ in the country. After she is caught sleeping with her latest bodyguard, her father hires a new one. One who he knows she won’t sleep with.





	1. How it Began

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to post this fic this fall, but I just couldn’t wait. I’ve been planning this since April and I’m excited I get to post it. I’ll continue writing my other series, ‘Raison D’Etre’, however rn I’m stuck and can’t write it so here I am. Starting a new fic.

“ _Fuck, yes, right there_!” She moaned as she bounced on his cock, her breasts bouncing up and down and she fucked herself on him. A sheen of sweat covered her forehead, as she tried to accelerate her pace, making him groan. 

“Your pussy feels like heaven.” He commented , his large hands snaking up her thighs, squeezing her ass. 

“Shh… no talking. I’m almost there.” 

She rolled her hips in tandem with his, her hand balancing herself on his thick thighs. Thor was bigger than any guy she had ever fucked. Which was one the reasons why she kept him around. 

Y/N had gotten used to his girth, and she felt empty without. She watched his cock impale her, slick with her juices as he disappeared inside her- over and over. It made the dirtiest of sounds, which resonated in the room, as she braced herself to cum again. 

The coveted fifth orgasm of that afternoon. 

His eyes were semi open, just so he could see their reflection on the mirror above the bed, that was installed for that very purpose. 

Her thrusts grew hungrier as she got closer to her climax, fucking him as hard as she could. She was desperate, they both were. Her legs shook, her pussy clamped around him tightly. That was it. 

“Oh, fuck. I’m coming!” 

She felt him come inside of her, in thick warm ribbons, as she bucked her hips against his for the last time. His hands on her waist, as he gave her a few lazy pumps. She climbed off of him after a while, and laid beside his hulking body. 

“You…” she said as she caught up her breath. “Were amazing. As per usual. You and your cock, are from another world.” 

“I’m glad to hear so. Ready for round four?”

As spent her body was, she couldn’t help but wanting more. He smelled like sex and his cologne, the one which always clung to her skin after their meetings. She sat up, as his release seeped out of her, down onto her sheets. 

She eyed his naked figure, basking in all of its naked glory, before reaching down between her legs, teasing her sensitive clit, before her finger dipping inside her, feeling the warmth of his come. Gasping as she felt the loss of it, and bringing it to her swollen lips, licking it clean right in front of him. Salty, as usual. 

This sparked a primal urge within him, as he pounced on her once again, kissing down her to her navel. It wasn’t slow, or teasing. He had no patience for it. He wanted to take her again. And she wasn’t about to stop him. 

But three sharp knocks at her door did. At first they both intended to ignore them, but then a voice followed, interrupting the mood. 

“ _Ms. Y/N_.” Jarvis, the butler, called from outside the door. “Are you decent?” 

“Am I ever?”

She quipped, making Thor chuckle against her stomach. 

“You are expected to join your father in the living room. Now.” 

Y/N rolled her eyes as she unwillingly pushed Thor off of her, making her way to her red silk robe. Which had been previously thrown haphazardly across the room by him, earlier in the afternoon. 

She made sure she was covered before opening the door. Her hair still clearly indicating the kind of activities she had been busy with. Met by Jarvis’s condescending look, she had grown so used to. Afterall, it wasn’t the first time he had seen her like that. 

“I’ll be there in a sec. My father can wait, I have company.” 

“I can see that.” He shot a dirty look at Thor, who laid in her bed thankfully covered by her sheets. “I’ll see you downstairs.” 

She changed into a pair of comfortable jeans and a simple T-shirt, annoyed she had to leave her lover naked in her bed alone. 

“I have to go now. But it won’t be for long.” She promised, giving him a wet kiss on his lips, it something to remember her for and look forward to. 

“Don’t be away for too long. Or I’ll start without you.” 

“You wouldn’t dare.” 

… 

“Y/N I’m surprised to see you at home.” 

“Well Tony, I wouldn’t be but since I’m ‘grounded’ for throwing a small soirée last week. I didn’t have any other place to go.” 

“You still have to apologise to Pepper for that. It was an over the top party, on a school night. You know your sister has trouble sleeping.”

“Half sister.” She corrected him, making her father roll his eyes at her. “And an ‘over the top’ party is what they expect of me. Daughter of the great Tony Stark. They don’t expect it to be any less.” 

“Anyways, this is not what I have summoned you to discuss about. It’s about-“ 

He slammed a gossip magazine in front of her. One of those stupid magazines she and Nat always lit up bonfires at the Hamptons with every summer. Now she was on the cover, not that it was the first time, but it was her topless. 

Thankfully the cover had the decency to blur her privates, but the cover promised to show more inside, as a way to entice the perverts who saw the magazine to buy it so they could wank off to her topless picture. And it was from the night before. 

Surprising as she didn’t even recall going out. That wasn’t a first. She stifled a chuckle. 

“This is not the kind of behaviour Morgan needs to see from you. And it is not the kind of behaviour I expect from my own daughter.” 

“I’m no role model, and Morgan knows that. So stop treating me like a child!” 

“So stop acting like one! My daughter living under my roof, acting like a reckless heathen, destroying her future prospects, and sleeping with my employees.” 

“I didn’t sleep with your employees.” 

“Can you honestly look at me in the eye, and lie about it?” 

“Ok, so maybe I have slept with a select few. But I didn’t think that was a problem.” 

“You’re sleeping with your bodyguard. Who might I remind you, is my employee.” 

“Who told you-“ she froze in the middle of the question. She exactly knew who told her father. It was someone who had caught them going at it on the backseat of her limo. “Jarvis you-“

“Don’t blame Jarvis. He was concerned. For you, as we all are. And for this same reason, I am dismissing Thor from his duties. He has served us well during the past two years, but he is no longer in our service. As this might become a scandal our family can never get out from. We had enough of your fair share of them” 

“Oh father, you’re scared of what it’s going to do to your new family’s reputation. Your perfect new family. Do not worry I want nothing to do with it. I stopped caring when I realised you weren’t going to be a father to me.” 

“That’s not fair Y/N.”

“I know it isn’t.” 

“Don’t bring up Pepper and Morgan in this. They have nothing to do with it.” 

“Fine whatever.” She stormed out, furious at her father. 

He had always been that way. Ever since she showed up at his doorstep after her mother just passed. She didn’t literally show up at his doorstep. It had been a long process. Of paternity tests, meetings with lawyers, the whole shebang. Not exactly the welcome wagon a sixteen year old would’ve expected from a man she thought was her father. 

It was strange for her too. Changing schools, the fast pace of a big city, being introduced to the kind of wealth she only had seen in movies. A stark contrast from what she was used to. Growing up as an unknown, a girl who was fine with not standing out, growing up with a single mother who worked 24/7 to out food on the table.

Y/N barely remembered that girl anymore. The girl naively eager to get to know the father who was absent for sixteen years of her life. 

… 

“Did you miss me?” She had completely forgotten that Thor was still in her room. 

Very, very naked. His more than average sized cock standing proud, once again. The man was an Adonis, of course she had no other choice than to jump at his bones and let him raw her again. As she pulled him into a kiss, with tremendous fervour, his member poking at her stomach. He tried to lift and touch her in more ways, making her chuckle at his eagerness to please her. 

As the kiss came to a halt, his eyes, darkened by lust. It was hard to resist his blue eyes and god like charm. And he knew it. He knew he could sway her. Which made it harder for her to do what she had to do. 

“Get dressed.” She said blankly, looking away. 

“Are we going out? Finish our session outside?” 

“You’re going out. You’re fired.” 

Y/N felt bad about it, but she knew she was going to get over it, by trying to not think about it too much. After all, everyone and everything in her life was replaceable. 

….

“ _Nat_?” Y/N shouted as she arrived at the penthouse. It was a mess. Broken glass was left unattended on the floor. A dirty plate with a half eaten panini on the floor, beside it, an ice bucket with cigarette butts in it, which turned the water murky. The porcelain jaguar statue she had gotten her as a joke, was tipped over, but it wasn’t broken. 

_What happened in here?_ She wandered into the living area, it wasn’t as messy as she had expected, still it was proof there was a huge party. A party, she most likely had attended, but had no recollection of. 

“Am I late?” 

There she was. Sitting on the pool table, in just her red panties and a white tank top she used to sleep in. The cold in the apartment made her nipples visible from underneath the thin cotton layer. It almost looked like she had just woken up. 

Her fiery red hair was disheveled, almost post-sex like. She held a glass with a green concoction, as a cigarette hanged loosely from her pouty lips. She was a sight to behold. 

“What do you think?” She asked sarcastically, raising her eyebrow. Still keeping her position, knowing Y/N’s eyes were on her. 

“I had something that kept me up at the tower.” 

“Thor?” 

“I fired him today.” 

Talking about it made her even madder at Tony. How dare he? And since when did he start caring about family? He never did for her. It wasn’t like she was mad because Thor got fired. She could’ve gotten a replacement. Like he was any different from all the bodyguards she had in the past. Pepper was her father’s assistant, before she became Mrs. Stark and stole her position at the company. 

_Pot, meet kettle._

Y/N sighed, as she made herself comfortable on the leather couch. 

“I’m sorry I knew he was your favorite.” 

“C’est la vie” She shrugged, biting her lip as she watched Natasha make her way towards her, with a bottle of Louis Roederer. 

Her mood instantly shifted when Natasha presented her the bottle (and herself), which she carefully set down on the coffee table before placing a soft kiss on her hip. Her skin was warm, and resembled porcelain. 

“What would I do without you?” 

Natasha seductively climbed on top of her, straddling her waist. She always managed to cheer her up, and knew how to. Her arms lazily wrapped around her neck. 

“Crash and burn.” Y/N pulled Natasha towards her, as she fell on her back. Her lips tasted as sweet as she looked, of black cherry tea, and the Dior 999 she liked to paint them with, red. It was such a pretty color on her. 

_She definitely knew how to cheer her up._


	2. When He met Her

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> We finally get introduced to Bucky! I’ve been overwhelmed by the kind comments in the previous chapter. I dedicate this chapter to you💕 as I was inspired to write more.

_Ring. Ring. Ring_

Her phone kept incessantly ringing as she tried to blindly find it, in hopes she’d find it soon so she could turn it off. The sixth ring particularly got to her, as it started to give her a headache, finally being able to identify its location. 

_It happened again._ They went out, and they came back in late, with vague details from the night before. She recalled leaving the apartment, but not coming back in. 

The last time that had happened was at the summer Olympics in the company the US water polo team. 

The room she was in, Natasha’s, was left untouched. Only the bed was undone, the one she had woken up in. Natasha’s bedroom really spoke her character. Minimalistic, yet each item in there was very valuable and of impeccable taste. It meant they hadn’t brought a party back to their place. 

She groaned as she got up, and put on clothes, stumbling while putting on the first pants she found on the floor, before she picked up her phone. 

_Tony_

_Missed call (6)_

_And it was 8. AM. Way too early to be up and have someone being a pain._

“Fuck.” She mumbled to herself before heading to the dresser and spraying on some pineapple body mist to mask the obvious scent of sex and alcohol. 

“Nat, I have to go.” She tapped her shoulder, as Natasha slowly opened her eyes, squinting at the little light that was beaming through the sheer curtains. 

“Where?” Nat asked, as she rolled over, revealing her bare perky breasts, trying to tempt her back into bed. Her tousled crimson hair framed her petite face, bringing out her green eyes, ready to tempt her back in bed with her. It had become a routine for her. 

One Y/N learnt to resist, with time. Natasha was also her best friend after all, and confidante, which meant boundaries were needed. 

Unlike the other people she slept with, she couldn’t get rid of Natasha, but like everyone else, she felt nothing for her on a romantic level. 

“My dear father called me a couple times, and if i don’t go right now, he’s going to cut me off.”

“Like you’d care,” 

“True, but we wouldn’t have all those parties without his money.” 

….

“ _Come on, Carol!_ You’re gonna miss your bus!” He shouted at the top of his lungs, finishing up on the peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and putting away the jars. While licking the leftover jelly from the butter knife he had used. 

“There’s no need to shout you know?” She groaned as she walked in the kitchen nonchalantly. “I’m here.” 

She grabbed her sandwiches and carelessly jammed them in her bag. 

“Remember what I told you?” 

“Yes, mom is picking me up today.” She rolled her eyes, inserting an earphone in each ear. “Yay.” 

“Hey,” Carol stopped in her tracks before she opened the front door. “Remember what I asked you?”

“Yeah I’m not asking my boss for an autograph.” 

“You suck.” She said in a sing song voice, before slamming the door shut behind her. 

Two weeks ago he had applied for the job, he had heard of an opening from Sam, but he was hesitant to apply. Regardless, he was in dire need of a job, so he did. 

He didn’t expect much, especially when he had seen the other applicants. 

Younger, and more athletic. 

Just like he was a very long time ago. Which was why he wasn’t surprised when he didn’t get the call. Though it did get to him. Especially after what he had gone through the year before. Getting rejected had become the norm for him. 

So when he had received the call the night prior, while he was watching the game and eating a bag of nacho cheese Doritos, he tried his best to not sound too excited over the phone. Although they hadn’t specified the position. 

He had got the job. A job at Stark Industries. 

As soon as they hung up, he run upstairs to fetch a suit that had been sitting in his closet for years. One he bought to boost his self esteem. 

He had looked at himself over and over again in the mirror that morning. He had woken up exactly one hour before to do so. His hands smoothened over his round stomach, sighing at the way the whole ensemble looked unflattering on him, before getting his car keys, checking his pockets and heading out. 

The new job was going to be good for him. 

….

“How are things going?” She asked as soon as the backdoor of her town car opened automatically, and gave Happy a warm smile once she had gotten in. 

“Things are really good now.” Happy replied looking into the rearview mirror to speak to her. “What about you? Are you behaving?” 

“Of course I am.” She grinned, not wanting to give away too much. He certainly couldn’t know about the things that been happening. He was a more present father figure than her actual father and she was grateful for that.

“Look at me, I’m awake at half past eight. That’s gotta count for something.” 

“I’m keeping an eye on you, young lady.” He waved his finger, his eyes still fixed on her. “Believe it or not, your father was the same at one point in time.” 

“Oh I know. Where do you think I got it from? It’s all daddy’s work.” 

“From now on, we’ll have our own rules in this car.” He said as his eyes fixed on her through the rearview mirror.

“First rule of the day, **_never_** say ‘ _daddy_ ’. Whether it’s ironic or not, that word is banned from any vehicle I’m driving you in. You ruined that word for me the day you decided to receive a call from your boyfriend the day you got back from Europe.” 

“First of all, he’s not my boyfriend, and roger that. I’ll never use that word. Around you at least.” 

“Good.” 

….

His heart started thumping really loudly in his chest when he set foot in Stark Tower. He had seen the tower before, and recalled being one of those people who had objected against it when it first became part of the New York skyline. Now things looked so different. 

As soon as he entered the building, he was instantly drawn to the clean smell of the lobby, and the waft of freshly brewed coffee seemed to welcome him. As well as the smell of cinnamon rolls, from the bar that was located where the lobby ended. 

He watched the many employees who walked in, and went about their days. The group of smartly dressed men, who walked in the building with a leather briefcase, an expensive Armani suit, and very shiny shoes. 

He forgot the last time he had splurged on himself like that. He certainly couldn’t afford it, and he was reminded of it by his suit. 

“I’m James Buchanan Barnes. I’m believe Mr. Stark is waiting for me.” 

The very well put together lady behind the reception counter smiled at him courtly and looked at her computer. 

“Yes, welcome to Stark Industries Mr. Barnes. Mr. Stark is ready to see you in his office. You’ll be escorted there in a minute.” 

….

  


“ _Tony Stark_.” She fake affectionately (almost grossing herself out in the process) opened her arms as the elevator doors opened at the floor she had been summoned to. “It’s nice to see you first thing in the morning.” 

“I know you’re ironic, but it’s nice to see you too.” 

“So what did you need me here for? You can save your lectures for next time, because I fired Thor already. I softened the blow, so you’re welcome. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have somewhere else to be.” 

“Ok, hold up, I’m not finished yet.” He put a hand on her shoulder, something she shook off. “I have a surprise in my office, I think you’ll appreciate.” 

“Did you finally listen to me and buy me a house?” 

She didn’t know what he meant by his silence. Just like her, her father was rarely silent. She really wanted to ask him, however she didn’t want to jinx it, if he actually bought her her own place. It was a long time coming. Something that had to do with the way she acted. She didn’t listen to most of his lectures but the gist of it was that. 

She had forgotten other floors existed in the tower, the one she never visited. She had once, but after she was left disappointed, she knew she had no place there. 

_The door to the CEO’s office._

Was he going to give her what she thought he was?

Which didn’t make complete sense, as she hadn’t been the best behaved lately. Her father was the same though. People believed in him when no one did, so perhaps he had seen himself in her. Finally. 

The door opened to the office. A very big one. Bigger than the apartment she used to call home. There was a man, sitting in a chair, who at the sound of the door opening, jumped to his feet. 

“Y/N, this Mr. James Buchanan Barnes, your new bodyguard.”

At first, she didn’t process what he had just told her. But as the seconds went by, she did her best to not looked as shocked as she felt. She felt like her father was pulling a cruel joke on her. 

Fit muscular men protecting her, who worked out at the gym where she occasionally joined them and had one or more ‘sparring’ sessions, that was the man she was used to working for her. This was unexpected. 

Mr. Barnes was probably in his early forties, had a very unfashionable haircut and was definitely not the type who had a gym membership. 

Truth was, he looked nothing like Thor. He looked more like a suburban middle aged man, than a bodyguard. 

And his suit. Everything from the plastic buttons, to the cheap synthetic fabric it was most likely made from. At least the job had great benefits, including a new suit, which he was in dire need of. 

“Nice to meet you.” Y/N put her best smile on, trying not to show her contempt. After all, he was going to be around her a lot. He was going to be around her a lot. That sounded awful.

_What was Tony up to?_

Y/N had no idea how to act decently around security. She never had to. It used to be all not so innocent smiles, and a very short skirt which left nothing to the imagination. 

“Mr. Barnes will make things better and safer around here.” She nearly scoffed at her father, who wore a huge smile on his face while patting the man on the back, while he stood there awkwardly. 

He wasn’t doing this because he believed this James Barnes guy was going to change things, he was there specifically because he knew there was no way his rowdy daughter would’ve ever slept with him. He wasn’t wrong. He was no Thor. 

Now more than ever she missed Thor, and his impeccable smile. She recalled the first time they had met. Similar process with the new guy, except the second Tony left for business, she didn’t waste time bringing him back to her room and ‘congratulating’ him for the new job.

With Thor everything seemed more new and exciting, which was why she kept him around longer than she intended. While she often shared her newest conquest with Natasha, Thor was only for her eyes and pleasure only. 

_He had just come into her life, ten minutes ago, when her father called her into his office. Cue to ten minutes later, when she had his tongue in her mouth. His fingers hastily opening her blouse. Sweet, but when she was done with him, he’d be ripping her clothes open._

_She didn’t even recall what she had done in those ten minutes to garner that kind of attention, maybe it was her lip biting, or the very short skirt she had decided to wear with a white blouse which she had left the top buttons unbuttoned on purpose so her cleavage could be seen if she bent over._

_He was so strong, he picked her up easily, and threw her on the bed. Y/N could tell it was his first time. Being a bodyguard that is. Or working for a big name like Stark._

_The fact that he was so eager to climb into her sheets showed the lack of experience in the field. He showed no resistance like the ones before him, or at least a weak attempt at it._

_His hot breath was already on her bare pussy, his tongue licked a stripe from her sopping entrance to her clit. He was definitely a keeper. His longer hair was made to be tugged on as he ate her out._

Now things were about to change. Change was good, for most people. But it wasn’t a good change for her. It was a curse. 

….. 

He wasn’t thrilled at all. Bucky had heard all about her, as everyone else in the world did. _They are rumors, why do you even believe them?_ He didn’t want to in fact, he wanted to find the positive side to all of it. He was working for Tony Stark, just not in the way he might have hoped. 

It wasn’t going to be hard. He had a teenage daughter, but Carol was nothing like her.

He couldn’t complain. The benefits were many, in fact the paycheck was grander his previous job. 

He tried to keep up with her, as she strutted towards the elevator like she owned the place. She did, well she only had the same name as the one displayed on the building. Bucky pressed on the elevator button and waited for it to open. 

When it did, she walked in, whipping out her phone and started texting. He stood in front of her, impatiently watching the numbers decrease on the screen, until they were finally on the ground floor. 

“We have a tight schedule to follow. I hope you’re ready.” She said annoyed as she walked out of the elevator, as he followed beside her. “Also the company will send you a suit by the end of today, you can use that to work.” 

“Yes, Ms. Stark.” He replied, opening the car door for her. 

“Also, I wake up at eleven, minimum, so you can show up then.” 

Bucky nodded, as he slid into the front seat, beside the driver. 

_Ok, she was kinda bossy and very self entitled_ , but she was his boss now. 

“And at what time do I get off?” 

He heard a snigger from the backseat. _Oh_. Realising how it must’ve sounded. And she was immature. _She’s a kid, Bucky_ , what did you expect? 

“Depends at what time I get home.”

….

For lunch, she decided to meet up with Natasha, to make up for that morning at the new sushi bar she had been raving about. It was the only thing Y/N had picked up on when she told her about it two days before. 

James opened the door to the restaurant, and stayed in the premises, unsure of where to stand, while Y/N walked up to Natasha, who had been waiting at a table. 

“Don’t you look stunning.” Natasha stood up, and kissed her on both cheeks, before they both sat down. She donned a low cut black top, and distressed jeans, after all, Y/N always said she looked as good clothed as she did naked. 

“Who’s the chubby guy who came in with you?” Natasha raised her eyebrow as she pointed at the man standing at the entrance of the restaurant. 

“My new bodyguard, courtesy of Tony Stark.” 

“Is this a joke?” 

“I don’t know, it’s a punishment. My father wants me to keep things professional.” 

“He’s gonna be seen in paparazzi shots with you. Are you telling me you want to be seen by the whole world with him?” Natasha asked, as she avoided looking or pointing at him. “You are your brand, and he’s going to be associated with that.” 

_She was right. **He**_ was going to be associated with her, and by the rate she appeared on gossip sites, James was going to be seen a whole lot by everyone. Ever since she had changed lives, she was constantly under the spotlight, and the next headline. 

Her so called brand, had become something everyone strives to be part of. Having such a good looking best friend like Natasha raised the bar, so did Thor, and every other person she associated herself with. She was living _the_ dream, and said dream was unachievable when normal people came to disrupt the dream.

Not that she had anything against regular people. She used to be one after all. And like everyone else, she could only dream about the life she was currently living. 

“You’re talking as if I have a choice here.” 

“Can’t you have Thor back?” 

“Can’t. Who am I going to sleep with now?” 

“Well, for starters, you have me, but you also have the whole city waiting to get in your bed.” Natasha reached out for her hand and gently caressed it in hers. 

“I don’t know why I always had a thing for sleeping with the help. It gets me going like nothing else.” 

“Maybe sometimes I can dress up in a French maid costume and give you room service, would that make you feel better?”

“Very.” She said as her finger traced the rim of her glass. “I just need something else to entertain me in the meantime.” 

“Getting him fired would be an interesting way to do that.” 

There was a glimmer in her eye when she said that. 

Just like whenever she suggested to do something outrageous that would guarantee everyone’s attention. Or when she first suggested that they would benefit more from being friends with added benefits. 

“Sometimes I just love how your mind works. It’s devious.” Y/N looked back at Bucky, who stood still near the entrance. He has no idea what’s coming. “ _Let the games begin_.” 


	3. Getting the Party Started

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: rough sex, oral sex, unprotected sex (please use protection irl) , public sex, drug use

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished writing this at 1am so I apologise if it was a mess. I wanted to get it out so you could enjoy it. The response to this fic has been incredible. I did not expect it.

_ New York, 6 years earlier.  _

“ _ Shit, shit, shit.” She cursed under her breath, trying to figure out where to go. The school bell had gone off a while ago, causing her to get even more panicked. She ruined what was the first day of school in a new city.  _

_ Everything was too much. From the overpriced prep school her father enrolled her in, to the uniform she was forced to wear. However she had promised herself to do whatever it took to fit in. Even at the cost of wearing a pleated skirt and knee high socks.  _

_ In addition to that, her new school was nothing like her old one. An all girls preparatory school, the building was beautiful to say the least, a historic building with great significance which was also why the prices were inflated as well.  _

_ While in her old school she could’ve gotten away with wearing whatever sneakers she had found that same morning just before going out, New York was different.  _

_ So her father had made her go to Tory Burch (which she had never heard of before), where she and spent a lot of money on shoes for school.  _

_ She came out to the patio, her heart accelerating even more at the prospect of arriving late her first day. This was the best prep school in the country, and she had heard rumors about prep school girls.  _

_ What is this place? A maze? _

_ Just as she was about to head into a different direction, there she was, a scarlet haired girl. She was standing just by the stairs leading to the main entrance, a lit cigarette between her lips.  _

_ She wore flashy jewellery, which she recalled was against the rules of the school. And a blouse which has its first three buttons unbuttoned, revealing the top of her lacy black bra and her cleavage. Even at a distance, Y/N could tell she was the prettiest girl she had ever seen. No one back at home looked like that. Not at her old school, nor in her hometown.  _

_ “Hey gorgeous.” She smiled at her, probably the first girl to smile at her in that horrendous school. The girl brought back the cigarette to her lips and took a long drag on it. “Are you skipping?”  _

_ “Uh, I’m looking for History of the Americas class. I’m a junior.” Y/N stammered, blushing a little.  _

_ “No kidding. You’re the famous Y/N Stark. It’s an honor.”She held out her hand. “Natasha Romanoff. My father’s the ambassador at the Russian embassy.”  _

_ “Nice to meet you.”  _

_ “Come, I’ll show you New York.”  _

_ “I have class.”  _

_ “You won’t be missing much. Plus, who needs history anyways.” Her eyes travelling up and down her body. “You comin’?”  _

  
  


_ Y/N thought about it hard, all the ten seconds she was thinking about it. On one side, she had to show up. It was her first day in school and she had promised her father she’d at least try. And she loved history.  _

_ However there was Natasha. The alluring and mysterious red haired girl. She wanted that. She wanted to look like that. Like one of those girls from the magazines.  _

_ Plus Natasha was nice to her, so far. The first person who was nice to her there. It would’ve been nice to have someone to talk to.  _

_ She had been lonely ever since she had come to the city.  _

_ And so she did follow Natasha. Mostly because she didn’t know any better and also because Natasha seemed cool. If she had gone to class that day, she liked to think that things would’ve been different. She would’ve probably gone to college and maybe gotten her degree.  _

_ But that was why she loved life. It was so unpredictable.  _

…. 

The bass pumped in her ears as she made her way to the cage in her sparkly Jimmy Choo stilettos. The crowd howling as she danced as seductively as she could, flipping her hair around and swaying her ass a lot. She did as when she had private company, she teased them to keep them wanting but never satisfying them enough to have them cream their pants. 

After she and Natasha decided collectively to ruin James’ chances of continuing to be her bodyguard, the craziest week of the month had commenced. 

_ Her own giggles filled the air as she placed the small harmless looking pill in her mouth, which followed soon after with the usual flutters. Within the next hour, she felt it slowly, the buzz, the need to unleash complete chaos.  _

_ So there she was, in a penthouse, dancing, her body grinding onto a man whose name she had forgotten. It felt good to let her inhibitions go, at least what was left of it.  _

_ It was one of those nights if anyone on the outside ever got to know about it, it’d become a scandal. Thankfully, much like her, all the people there would’ve be too drunk or high to remember what had happened.  _

_ She was feeling it. The heat travelled all through her body, engulfing her snugly. Her eye wandered to James, standing straight near the door with a stern look on his face.  _

_ It was his job of course, but he didn’t show any kind of reaction to her behaviour. Cracking him was going to be hard. But she was determined to make it happen. Natasha was already looking at a lineup for her next bodyguard and it was looking promising.  _

_ A week, she had predicted, would take her to make him hate her and his job so much he’d quit. It was that easy. Although he seemed to be unfazed by the pills and booze, she just got started.  _

_ Besides, it was only the beginning.  _

_ Y/N walked away from her dancing companion and made her way towards James. She was going to get him good.  _

_ He was going to hate her so much.  _

_ “James! I need to ask for a favor. There’s a package downstairs for us… would you go and get it?”  _

_ She saw that look. The look every adult gave her, one that wanted to say something, maybe reprimand her. But he wasn’t her father. He wasn’t Happy either. So she knew he couldn’t say anything to someone who he worked for.  _

_ “Of course. Anything else?” He replied professionally, without any sign of annoyance whatsoever.  _

_ “No not really.”  _

_ ….  _

_ He had been in his twenties once to know the crazy shenanigans people in their twenties got up to. The craziest night was probably a frat party he had gone to in college, but that was it.  _

_ James had never seen so many drugs taken by so many well known people in a room.  _

_ This world was so different by the one he grew up in. Where money didn’t seem to be an issue, where the houses came in the form of penthouse apartments, which didn’t smell homey at all. Nothing in that apartment seemed to be a place one could call home.  _

_ He forgot the last time he had been awake so late. 3AM. He was sure he was going to collapse once he got home. If he was ever going home. His mind immediately drifted to Carol, if she was well, if she had eaten, and if she was ok without him.  _

_ Of course she’s ok. She’s 16. Sometimes he worried too much. He wondered whether he was enough. Whether he was putting the spoils of his divorce on her.  _

_ She was smart. He again wondered where that came from. She certainly didn’t get it from her, and in all honesty (without any pettiness), her mother wasn’t the smartest person alive.  _

_ Once he got down to the lobby, he was still unsure of the nature of the task, but he knew he had to be looking for some sort of delivery man.  _

_ Which turned to be a sketchy looking guy who looked like he hadn’t slept in days, in an oversized hoodie. He walked up to him, wanting to complete the task his boss had given her.  _

_ “You Y/N’s guy?” _

_ “I guess so.”  _

_ “Here.” He put a small plastic bag in his hand, it was so swift he probably would’ve thought he was trying to shake his hand if he hadn’t felt the bag. Realising what was happening. “Tell Y/N the debt is paid.”  _

_ “Sure will.”  _

_ He felt queasy, he needed air.  _

_ James shook the bag along with its contents. He had seen it before, usually in the evidence boxes at the precinct. Before, his job was to arrest people like her, but now he was swapping integrity with a paycheck and by being an accomplice.  _

  
  


_ He wished that was the end of it. That that night was a casualty, a rare occurrence. E was so wrong.  _

_ And it only started from there. He had to cancel the parent teacher meeting because Y/N wanted to go on a shopping spree. Pretty standard right? Not when she demands to do a pretty woman montage and starts dancing around the boutique, asking him to dance as well. If it had just ended there, it would’ve been fine. That was until a video of him awkwardly dancing at a boutique popped up on the Internet.  _

...

“You don’t think this dress is too short do you?” She twirled in front of Loki, who was sat back, with a glass of bubbly in hand. 

“Why would I give you one of my creations if I knew it had a defect?”

The dress he made her was gorgeous, aptly named ‘the Y/N’. It was a spin on the classic little black dress, complete with crystals, making her shine like she was supposed to. She remembered the good old days when she used to be a muse to an up and coming fashion designer. 

“Because you want me?” 

“You’re absolutely right.” He stopped her from twirling by putting his hands on her hips, his hands travelling down, resting on her cheeks. “You want to feel what you do me?”

_ How could she say no to him? She couldn’t _ . 

“ _ What are waiting for?” _

… 

“Do you mind if you keep people out of the ladies room?” She said with a visible grin, her skin covered in a sheen of glistening sweat as a long dark haired man followed behind her. “It’s going to be occupied for a while.” 

This guy looked like a pretentious douche. At least to him. Who wears suits to a club anyways? This asshole mistook him for a server multiple times that night, clicking his fingers anytime he needed something. 

_ That annoying bastard... _

His hand was placed on her ass, slightly squeezing it. He tried not to roll his eyes, as he waited for the door to close before he placed himself in front of it. 

….

Her tiny dress rode up to her waist, her leg around his waist. His lips making their way onto her collarbone, leaving a wet trail behind. His actions were haphazard, impatient even. He wanted her bad. 

Though Loki had nothing to do with her plan to mess with her new employee, it was nice to throw in a quick fuck whilst doing so. It wasn’t difficult to be attracted to him. He was beautiful. He had an elegant beauty, with mesmerizing green eyes a powder white complexion as a contrast. 

And that hair. The long dark style, which he used to gel back, but now didn’t as he knew she liked to pull on it while he ate her out (and he liked having his hair pulled too). 

He was hard. Rock hard. She felt him through his pants, she had seen  him it before. And it was huge. She fell down to her knees, looking up at him through her lashes.  _ He liked being in control _ . 

His touch asserted his dominance over her body, his hand lifting her chin up to prolong their eye contact. Her hands worked on his belt, unbuckling it, before opening the zipper, biting her lower lip in anticipation. She let his pants fall around his ankles, playing him through his briefs, he hissed, throwing his head back. 

Her fingers went inside the waistband, and slowly pull them down his milky legs. His cock bouncing against his stomach. It’s crown, a mix of pinks and reds, and oozed precum. He was more than ready for her. 

Her tongue flattened on the tip, tasting him. She kept licking it, before stopping, just watching his face when she did so. His breath accelerated, now desperate to have her. She knew what was on his mind at that very moment. It most likely was her, the idea of fucking her raw. 

Out of nowhere, she wrapped her lips around him, and bobbed her head along it. The rest of his cock which couldn’t fit in her mouth, she stimulated with her hand. His groans had grown louder, his hands had a firm grip on her hair as he slowly guided his hips to her movements. 

His sex poked the back of her throat, making her eyes water a little at the roughness. His grip on her hair somehow became harder, as he started fucking her mouth emitting loud moans that made her wetter by the second. 

By the time she managed to slip a hand in between her thighs, she was dripping. And no one fucked her as hard as Loki did. She played with herself, her finger gliding up and down her folds, his thrusts becoming more and more uncontrolled. 

Her middle finger worked her clit, applying the right amount of pressure to let the feeling  _ build, and build, and build. _ As her mouth was being used, he showed no sign of stopping. 

Until her legs started shaking, her loud screams muffled by his cock being jammed into it. His pace got slower and sloppier, until he bucked his hips against her mouth, filling her mouth with his cum. 

Once he pulled out of her mouth, his cum dribbled onto her chin, while she swallowed it. Tasting him, and licking her lips, picking up the leftover with her finger. His hand went inside his jacket, from which he took out a condom, which he held between his index and middle finger. 

He had no intention of stopping now. Not when he was still hard and she still hadn’t been satisfied. His teeth opened the foil packet, tossing it aside, and rolling it down on his wet shaft. 

He wasted no time in picking her up, her legs around his waist, as he lowered her onto him. Making her gasp at his girth, almost every time he entered her. No matter how many times he took her, she would never get used to him. He stretched her out and made her bounce on him, hitting the right spot which made her scream out obscenities out loud. 

And even though the music was pretty loud, she was certain people who passed by could hear her. She didn’t hold back. Not even a bit. She didn’t care about her voice, or nothing else in that moment. Her mind was not functioning as she was getting fucked into tomorrow. 

He used her body however he pleased, pinning her body to the wall and fucking her against it. His thrusts were rough, but well timed, his cock venturing in deeper than usual making her scream even more. At this rate her voice was going to be hoarse the next morning but at that moment, she was more busy focusing on the present. 

Her walls clenched around him as her whole body spasmed, and yet he showed no signs of even slowing down. His pace was consistent, his cock pistoning in and out of her. At that point the feeling of pleasure had become too much. She was going to feel it for weeks. 

…. 

_ Brrr. Brrrrr.  _

His phone buzzed in his pocket, making his whole leg vibrate. He fished it out, and nearly groaned at the caller ID. What did she even want? He wanted to hurl his phone across the club, but he was an adult. He couldn’t do that.

He waited a while, before answering it. 

“James, where are you?” Her voice sounded faint (weirdly enough), against the loud music. She paused, before speaking again. “Are you at a party?” 

She sounded shocked, judgemental even. Which was why it ended, amongst other things. 

“I’m working. What is so important you had to call me right now?” 

“Carol was supposed to be with you tonight. She called me. Because you forgot to pick her up.” 

_ Fuck _ . How could he forget picking up his own daughter from school? The thought of upsetting her made him more upset. He was going to make it up to her. 

“I swear to God, James. If you don’t pull this together, it’s not gonna work out. And you’re out there, at a party, what are you doing at a party?” 

He started not hearing her voice, he was actively not listening anymore. He didn’t have to. She wasn’t talking about their daughter. James always wondered about the nature of relationships. If all romantic relationships were doomed to become like that. 

They both had become shells of their past selves. A better time, when the future seemed more promising. 

“It’s my job and none of your business. It stopped being your business when-” He started snapping, when he remembered she was still Carol’s mother, though not his wife anymore. “Nevermind. I’ll hear from you in the morning when I get back home.” 

….

“You want to go back to my place  _ gorgeous _ ?” 

_ Ugh. The pet names _ . How she hated them with a burning passion. Not that she’d ever tell him or any other person she slept with. He tucked himself back in and adjusted his pants. He must’ve pulled that line on thousands of models after his runway shows. 

And they both did not remember, but he had pulled that line before. The night they met at the MET afterparty. 

Just like that night, she replied in the same way. Her lipstick smudged, wanting to taste a little more of him that night. He was a damn good distraction. 

“ _ Why not? _ ” 

Her fingers wiped off the lipstick that had transferred outside of her lips, while applying a new coat of it. Her lips slightly parted as she did so. 

She felt his hands on her hips, his sex getting hard again against her ass.  _ Couldn’t she get a second to herself?  _

“God you’re so sexy.” He whispered the words she had heard a thousand times before, his lips dangerously close to crook of her neck. “I’m going to destroy you.” 

“I’m busy right now.” Y/N said, not bothered by him. He was like everyone else, and sleeping with him had become a part of her routine. 

With the last few touch ups, she walked out of the bathroom, with his hands placed on her ass. 

…

James followed close by to his boss, and the man she had come out the ladies room with. He was not focused on the cocky way she walked or talked to him. He was bothered by the phone call. He promised Carol he’d take care of her so she wouldn’t have to spend her time with Brock. Her new step father. 

She hated him. As much as James did. 

He was quick to realize they were outside of the night club, the stench of tobacco made him slightly nauseous. He had never been in Manhattan that late, and it was still alive, young people in the streets, ready to take over the night. 

“You can leave now. I'm gonna stay with him.” She pointed at the dark haired man, with her bottom lip caught between her teeth, her eyes undressing him. 

With that, Loki opened the front door of his Jaguar like a ‘gentleman’ and saluted him, before rushing to the other side. 

And with that, the car raced into the distance, making James smile. Another day was over. Finally. 

  
  


He turned the key in the lock, and opened the door. He was greeted by the smell of home. It wasn’t a distinct smell, just an amalgamation of scents. The faint scent of the laundry detergent, mixed with the smell of whatever Carol had eaten that night, alongside the air from outside. 

He hooked the keys in the wooden key box Carol had made at summer camp when she was in the sixth grade, and walked towards the kitchen. Where he poured himself a glass of water. Noticing the bowl of half eaten popcorn nearby. 

_ Fuck _ . How could he forget movie night? It was something he wanted to keep alive for Carol. She was getting older, and he knew one day once she went to college that those nights would cease to exist. 

His new job consumed him. No matter how hard he tried, it seemed impossible to see the positive side of it. His boss was a sex crazed party animal with loose morals. He hated that it paid so well. He hated that he liked the privileges. And he hated being a babysitter to Tony Stark’s daughter. 

She had put him through hell that week. God only knew what else she had planned for him. 

...

Flashbacks kept creeping back when they were both blinded by a familiar white light that came through the window. Accompanied with a face. Of a police officer. People really enjoyed interrupting her whilst she was fucking some hot guy. 

Y/N groaned, as she stood up with her body, the officer visibly shocked by her appearance, as he took a few steps back to give them a little privacy. 

“ _ Miss, please get dressed _ .” 

She groaned, as she tried not to giggle at the fact that Loki was frantically trying to find his pants. She stayed there, completely naked, until there was another harsh knock. She picked up her panties which discarded on the seat in front of her. 

They were ruined. She had no use for them, so she put them in his front pocket. 

She was bummed out she didn’t get to come, but she knew once they were off the hook, he would’ve given her more than one. 

Once they were both dressed, she rolled down the window, smiling at the officer. Just another standard procedure. Smile coyly, perhaps even slipping him a Benjamin or two. 

“I’m afraid I’m going to have to take you to the station.” 

“I don’t think that’s gonna happen. Officer…” She squinted her eyes to see the name on his badge. “Murray.” 

“My father is a little someone called Tony Stark.” 

As much as she hated using her surname to her advantage, as she didn’t want to owe Tony anything, she had to admit that it had gotten out of trouble quite a few times. 

“I am very aware of Mr. Stark. As he himself has told NYPD to arrest his daughter on her next offence.” “Please step out of the vehicle miss. You too sir.” 

She sighed, as she got out of the car, the cool breeze caressing her sweaty skin, making it feel even cooler. The officer held a pair of handcuffs in his hand.  _ What was he- _

“Put your hands behind your back.” Was this guy serious? And Tony had something to do with it? She was going to have to deal with it in her own way. She was going to fire every single person involved with it. 

The cold metal wrapped around her wrists, as she felt the officer’s hand around her arm, leading her to his car. 

“Wait why didn’t you arrest him?” She looked back at Loki, who got back into car, and drove away to the their direction.  _ Dickhead _ . The least he could do was bail her out. Instead she was forced into the back of a police car, in handcuffs. 

“Because your father only told us to arrest you.” He replied as he started the car. 

This was not how the night should’ve ended. 

“I swear to God, if you don’t let me go, I’m going to sue all of you. I will end all of you.” She threatened once she realised she was not going to get her way after all. “You’re bringing me in for false charges. I haven’t broken any laws.” She lied.  _ She had _ , but none that a police officer would know about. 

“Indecent exposure, and lewd behaviour.” 

“Lewd behaviour? I was just getting started. That was nothing.” 

“It’s enough to get you arrested.” 

…. 

Her eyes went down at the paper cup she had been given with earl grey tea in it. She wasn’t in the mood for tea. She just wanted to go home, and as her father had made it clear (one hour prior during a FaceTime call), she gave up. She was going to wait until the morning and then call Natasha. 

She had been there for a few hours, but in there, it seemed to be days. 

She was definitely going to make Loki pay for leaving her that night. Not that she was going to stop sleeping with him. He was one of the best lays in the city. She’d never do that to herself. 

She believed getting arrested was going to be a little more excited. That she was going to be interrogated by a policeman who was too attractive to be a policeman. Who then would take his clothes off and showed her his ‘concealed weapon’. To her defense, she was horny and her only knowledge of being arrested in a room with a police officer was from porn. 

She was about to pass out, when she heard a set of voices. One belonging to Officer  asshat Murray, and the other to James the fucking bodyguard. 

_ What the fuck was he even doing there?  _

And they were laughing? How long has he been there? 

And as luck would have it, there they were. Smiling at each other as if they were old buddies. As they came closer, she rolled her eyes. As if she needed him to save her. She was going to manage perfectly on her own. 

“Come on, you’re free to go now.” He looked so weird without his knock off suit. In jeans and an unflattering simple grey shirt. And that dad cut… it still bothered her. 

“What the actual fuck, I didn’t ask for your help.” She said as she started walking, eager to breathe fresh air. 

“Wake up  _ Lohan _ , I don’t want to be here either.” His voice followed behind, sternly. So he did have a voice. “But Mr. Stark called me and asked me to take care of it.” 

“Where did the sass come from? By the way, Lohan’s super old and wishes she was me.” 

“It’s half past five and I am off duty. Ok?” Now James was pissed. Angry even. “So now I’m taking you home, and after that, i'm going home. So I can sleep, for the two hours I have left before waking up at a reasonable hour like a responsible adult.”

That left Y/N speechless, as she climbed into the backseat of his Kia Sportage. Great. Even his car had his same personality. Bland. But now she wasn’t sure of that anymore. She had never seen anyone that mad at her before. 

  
  
  



	4. The Start of Something

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To everyone who had read, liked or commented (or if it’s all three you have a special place in my heart) this whole fic, I dedicate to you. To the people who have reached out here, or on tumblr, thank you. You are the very reason why I stay up late writing. Thank you for keeping me motivated and enjoying this story as much as I love writing it ❤️

There were a lot of dumb things Bucky had done in his lifetime, and he was sure there were more than the few he could remember of. But never in his life had he shouted at his employer. It was probably because she was a living nightmare to work with, and also the fact that she had made it impossible for him to work with her. 

Regardless, he felt guilty. He shouldn’t have gone off like he did. As much as she was unbearable, he shouldn’t have shouted at her. She was his boss. 

He didn’t know what to do. There were a few options he had thought of since the previous night. The first place his mind went to was to quit. That was the easiest way out. Though it was nice to fantasize about what could be, that would never be possible. He needed the paycheck and insurance the job gave him. 

He didn't sleep, at least that was what he believed until he was woken up by the clatter in the kitchen. He wiped off the drool from the edge of his mouth, as he stood up from the couch. He had collapsed on the couch, and didn't make it to his room. 

"Good morning to you too dad." He heard her say, he could read the mocking smile on her face. "Rough night?"

"Kind of." He spoke with a groggy voice, and yawned, running his hand through his hair. 

"Your job at Stark Industries must be interesting..." 

"It is."

"So, how is it like working for Mr. Stark?" She asked as she sat down beside him excitedly. "Is it super amazing? Have you met Pepper Potts?" 

How could he tell her he did not work for Tony Stark, but for his daughter, as her babysitter?

He wouldn't be lying to her, if he omitted that piece of information all together. She was so proud of him, he didn't want to change that. 

"It's great, just like you told me." 

"I knew..." Carol took a sip from her mug. "...that you were a liar. You work for Y/N Stark. Not Tony Stark." 

"How-" 

"First of all, mom asked me what sort of job you were doing which involved partying. And unless it is Christmas, then there's no way you'd be at a party at work at 3 A.M. Secondly, you're all over the internet with your dance moves."

_Oh no_ . The video. He had completely forgotten about that. _Damned be the internet_. 

"Tell me no one else saw it." 

"Well... as of last night it was at 15." 

"Thank God. Fifteen isn't that bad."

"Million. It's at fifteen million."

Things were getting out of hand. He knew it was going to haunt him for the rest of his life. He ran his hand across his face, he had to solve this, before it went too far. 

"I don't know what to do. It's like taking care of a kid. I thought I was past this stage of my life." 

"What's keeping you there then?" Her. His daughter was the sole reason he worked hard. He wanted her to go to college, live the life he never got to live. 

"I don't want to quit."

"I just don't get why Tony Stark would hire you for her. No offence dad, I love you, but her past bodyguards were straight out of Magic Mike XXL." _No... It couldn't be. Stop overthinking things._ "In fact Thor, her last bodyguard was allegedly fired. Rumor is she was seeing him in secret."

Carol went on to talk about it, and she knew a lot about the Starks. But he didn't hear half of it. His mind focused on the one thing she had said. _Her past bodyguards were straight out of Magic Mike XX_ L. It did seem weird. The sudden open position that he was offered after being rejected a week earlier. 

Just as Carol left to get changed, he looked at his phone, as if to torture himself. Just by typing her name, thousands of articles from sketchy gossip sites came up, alongside a bunch of images. 

One caught his eye immediately. 

_'Rumors about a potential fling between Y/N and her bodyguard fizzled out with the arrival of a new one. She certainly isn't involved with this one.'_

As if that wasn't enough, a photo of him, walking beside her. It was put in comparison to one taken a few months back, it was similar, except for the fact that a handsome well built man was walking beside her. Thor. 

His insecurities came bubbling to the surface again. It kind of made sense, why he was chosen over the other young, muscular applicants. 

And what else was he there for after a potential scandal, but to stop the rumors. There was no way, that they'd ever assume she was sleeping with someone who looked like him and there was no way she would either. 

Everything that happened since the first day made sense. And as he got ready, it hit him again. No one was ever going to want to sleep with him. His ex stopped trying to sleep with him ever since he had put on a few pounds. Back then he brushed it off, but at that moment, it hit him like a wave. 

He felt inadequate. 

He was wearing an expensive suit, and he felt awful in it. He never cared about what other people thought of him, but he saw it. His reflection looking back at him. It did hurt more than he liked to admit. 

"Hey dad?" He heard Carol gently knocking at her door. "I'm so sorry. I shouldn't even have mentioned it."

"No its fine. Don't apologise."

"I know it will be, because you're the best dad ever. And you're going to show them." 

He felt guilty sometimes, he wondered if she was forced to grow up so fast with everything going in their household. But in that moment, nothing cheered him up than knowing he had such an amazing daughter. 

And for her, he was going to pull it together. 

...... 

  


When Y/N woke up, from a not so great sleep, she found herself in her bed. Alone. In a very long time. The bed almost felt too big for her, and she felt out of place. 

For the first time in years she did remember what had happened the night before. From the cage dancing, to getting fucked by Loki in the bathroom, to her leaving with Loki half drunk half high. The memories were coming in all separate, but they were there. And cherry on the cake, she did get arrested. 

James bailed her out and went off. She didn’t expect him to be the person to crack like that. It was easy, but it didn’t go exactly as she had predicted. He didn’t resign or get fired. He was still working for her. 

She hesitantly got out of bed, the light from outside giving her a mild headache. 

Her feet dragged across the marbled floor as she made her way to the kitchen, where she haphazardly poured herself a glass of orange juice, with her eyes still half closed. 

  


“Morgan, what are you doing here?” Y/N asked, jumping a little at the sight of her half sister sat at the counter with a bowl of cereal. Especially when she did not expect he to be there. 

“It’s Saturday. No school.” She smiled and shrugged. She had no idea how Morgan managed to be so happy all the time. Part of her wished she still was like that, young and naive. 

“Good for you.” 

She grabbed the glass, intending to find herself something to nibble on, when she heard someone walking in pair of heels behind her. Maybe there was still time for her to run without being seen. 

“Good morning Y/N. James is waiting for you in the lobby.” _Too late_. Pepper warmly smiled at her before heading towards her daughter and placing a kiss on her forehead. “It’s nice to see you home.” 

“Likewise.” As she tried to walk away, Pepper stopped her. She pulled her aside far from Morgan. She knew what she was going to say. Something about responsibilities. As if she needed someone else to lecture her.

“I’m sorry about what happened with Thor.” Y/N wished to be anywhere else than there. And how did she even know about Thor and her? Well, it wasn't like they were subtle about it. 

“Please spare your pity.” 

“It’s not like that. I get it. I used to work for your father. It was risky, because there are some strict policies around dating your employees...”

Y/N shot her a look. It took her a moment, but something started working in her mind, which woke her up completely. She just had found the right solution to get rid of her problem. 

She smiled in delight, as she rushed off downstairs after applying a coat of lip gloss and adjusting her hair decently, she might have gone out in her silk negligee, but she was going to do it in style. 

She charged towards the main entrance, as Stark Industries employees tried not to look her way. After all, they were used to most of her shenanigans much like everyone else. 

“Good morning Ms. Stark.” She heard a voice. _No fucking way_. 

She expected him to be a no show, or to call in sick. Instead that bastard was there, sat in one of the leather seats in the lobby with the New Yorker in hand. He neatly set it down, before walking beside her. 

Who the fuck was this guy? Why wasn’t he giving up? 

If he wanted to play, she was going to show him what she was truly capable of. James was acting as if nothing had happened. As if it was his very first day at a new job. _Ms. Stark_? Nobody ever called her that. That name was reserved for Morgan. Tony’s star child. She was just the other one. 

As much it irritated her to see him there, she couldn’t help but feel a little impressed. He was putting up a good fight for a middle aged man with a bad haircut and who drove a horrendous dad car. 

… 

She knocked at the sleek black door three times, before it opened. Loki motherfucking Laufeyson. That good looking bastard. She was mad at him, but she forgot half of what happened when she saw him open the door in a silk robe, revealing his milky white chest beneath. His mouth was slightly open in surprise, before it curled into a smirk, as his emerald eyes scanned over her figure which was only covered in a thin negligee. 

He was so beautiful. _No Y/N. You’re mad at him. He left you in jail for Christ’s sake._

“I was meaning to call you, I’m-“ 

“You’re in luck today, because I have a favor to ask of you, also next time I call the shots which means you’re gonna do everything I ask you to do.”

She pushed him back into his apartment, her hands were all over him. He was warm, so it took her a second to snap out of it. Liquor. She needed alcohol if she was going to have to keep her hands off him. 

She took slow strides towards the liquor cabinet, before choosing the Macallan 25 and poured herself a glass. There was nothing like a good scotch to swirl around in the midst of revealing a latest scheme. 

Loki was all at a sudden behind her with his semi hard cock pressing against her. 

"You know you can ask me anything..." He breathed out, as he slipped a spaghetti strap down her shoulder. "I'm completely at our service." 

"And I want you to remember that later, when I'll be riding your face." She abruptly pulled away. "I need to seduce someone."

"I don't think you need my help with that."

"Usually I wouldn't but he's ordinary. Boring. Strangely immune to me." 

"You just have to access the a part of him that makes him click, then you're set." He peppered kisses down her neck, his hand playing with her breast. 

"If only it were as easy as it was with you." Y/N chuckled at his desperation. 

"Whoever this lucky bastard is, he's a man. He has my same desires. He just hides it well." His hands were just about to pull down her negligee, but she stopped him. That was enough for the day. 

"So you're suggesting I do the same thing to him, that I did to you when I met you?" 

"Way to make me feel special." He said frustrated, letting out a sigh. "You're going to make him go crazy." 

_That was the plan._


	5. Ready, Set... Seduce

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: threesome (not quite), rough sex, voyeurism 
> 
> PLEASE DO NOT READ IF YOU’RE UNDER 18

"I was supposed to be mad at you." She gave him a glance from where she was standing, at the feet of the bed. He looked good. 

"You can't stay mad at me for too long. You need me as much as need you." He was cocky. For a guy tied up to his bed with his silk ties. It didn't take long to convince him to get tied up fully naked. 

In fact for someone who was going to be punished, he seemed way too into it. 

Even at his most vulnerable, Loki exuded nothing but confidence, and dominance. It was probably why she couldn't quit him. He was like her. 

"I am still very much mad at you." She pouted, sliding her sheer robe off of her revealing her body in all it naked glory. 

Her bottom lip was caught between her teeth as she beckoned a tall, guy who strode towards her. He was handsome, but he looked just like any other underwear model. 

She forgot his name, even though Loki introduced her a couple times. It didn't even matter at that point, with a face and body like that, she didn't care what it was. 

She licked her lips in satisfaction. She was going to enjoy herself and make Loki watch. And the thought of him watching helplessly as she was getting pounded hard by another man made her soaking wet. The model planted a kiss on her neck, as her eyes were still fixed on Loki's naked body. 

Though frustrated and tugging at his restraints, was rock hard. He  _ was _ enjoying it. 

Her attention averted to the man who threw her onto the bed, at Loki's feet. Great. The last place she needed to be was at someone's feet, especially the man she was trying to punish. At least she was going to get something out of it.

He dragged the tip along her slit, spreading her wetness, before unexpectedly pushing inside of her. Her walls stretching to accommodate his girth. He wasn't splitting her in half, but it was more than enough. 

The sex was rough. It was just pure raw sex. She didn't care about the model not one bit. But the sex, was just what she needed at the moment to relieve her from her stress. 

He didn't seem to care for her either. All he cared about was to feel her soft warm walls around him, and she felt that transpire through his actions. 

This wasn't exactly the threesome she wanted. But she had no choice. Punishment was punishment. 

The model held her waist as he pounded into her, making her moan loudly. Her back kept rubbing Loki's cock, which grew harder with the squelching sound of a hard cock pistoning in and out of her. 

Her thumb reached down to circle her clit with enough pressure to make her toes curl. She could feel herself dripping onto Loki's sheets as the underwear model fucked her relentlessly. 

She was getting closer and closer, her back arched against him as pleasure expanded throughout her body. He pushed himself in deeper, her orgasm overtaking her, making her scream out Loki's name. He gave her last short jagged thrusts, before letting out a groan. He was done. 

He pulled out of her, her pussy still aching to be filled. She wanted him.  _ Loki _ . She gets ahold of his cock, his tip red and angry oozing with a clear fluid. A part of her wants to cut his restraints off so he could fuck her raw. She wanted nothing more to feel his hand roughly slapping her ass as he took her from behind, thrusting into her even through her climax. 

The model picked his things up and shuffled out of the room, awkwardly waving them goodbye.  _ How was he so awkward when just moments ago he was fucking her _ ? That was exactly why she never slept with people more than once. With the exception of Natasha and Loki. And Thor, when he used to be around. 

"I think you learnt your lesson." She chuckled, which made him let out an almost inaudible moan. 

Y/N climbed on top of him, her wet pussy rubbed against his hard cock. A bead of sweat rolled down her back as she rocked her folds onto him, agonisingly slow. Her juices dripped onto him, as she placed her warm hands on his smooth chest. 

"You're driving me crazy." He murmured. 

She gripped the base of his cock and guided her to her entrance. He hissed at her warmth, a staccato of pants filled the room. He was touch starved, and she was going to make the most of it. 

A cry escaped his lips as she sheathed his cock to the brim and rocked her hips with rhythm. 

"Tell me what you want." 

"Y-You." 

"Watching me fuck another man... That turned you on didn't it?" Her hips rocked in a slow tempo, satisfied with the flushed look on his face with his pretty pink lips forming an O.

"I'm so hard for you." 

She had heard it a thousand times, and it never tired her. The feeling of fullness overwhelmed her she wanted more. 

Her hands swiftly worked on the restraints which tied him up. She wanted those warm hands all over her, besides she knew she could handle pinning him down on her own. 

She gasped defeated when he flipped her body over, and pinned her down. His breath hot on her navel, he looked at her through those gorgeous eyes.  _ Fuck _ .  _ So much for being in charge _ . 

"I'm sorry baby girl. You can't always be in charge." 

….

Was it boring standing out of a door? Of course it was. But he was paid to do so. A young man opened the door. Not Loki, another one. He looked tired, and he reeked of cigarettes and booze. As everyone else Y/N hung out with. 

Months ago, he used to put those people in the back of his police car and drive them back to the precinct. He still had Dolores, even though she was cheating on him they still lived underneath the same roof. 

Bucky knew. It was Sam's wife who reluctantly told him she saw her at a restaurant with another man. But he had known way before that. He always suspected she did. And even after discovering it, he didn't have the heart to leave her. 

The thought of being alone was more unbearable than living a lie. 

And he compromised his dignity for that. He let her treat him like that for more months, until she brought in the divorce papers. Though all those years together, did make her tear up a little. Or maybe it was the fact that she got caught. 

Just standing there, made him think, a lot. 

To everything he had given for her. All the years he spent trying to make her happy. It seemed impossible to remember a time in which they were happy, as it was a long time ago. 

It became harder to comprehend how she used to be the love of his life and how easy it was for her to fall out of love with him. And despite all that, a part of him still cared. 

In comparison to all that, the recent events seemed small. It just piled onto a set of bigger problems he faced. 

He was now determined more than ever. He was going to succeed at his job, and perhaps get a promotion. He was willing to do anything to get a bigger position at Stark Industries. 

.... 

  
  
  


She laid on her side, sipping champagne in a silk robe. It was uncomfortable, laying on her side and still trying to appear her usual seductive self, but it was worth it. Those were the only problems she wanted to be bothered with. Small, insignificant ones. 

That James bothered her. She had no idea why. It wasn't his lack of a fashion sense, or style. She was embarrassed to have him around. Average was not the word best associated with her, and any more wrong moves and she could turn irrelevant.

Besides, when he was gone, she'd have her usual young hot chiseled bodyguard by her side. And since he hadn't responded to her reckless (and illegal) behaviour, she knew she had to fight with sweetness.

That was something she did very well. Though the word 'sweet' was more associated with her taste than her personality. 

"Skin. Works every time. Bare it all." He said as he dragged out clothing racks from his walk in. He looked through the clothes, while drinking champagne. Whatever it was between them, it seemed like a match made in friends with benefits heaven. 

"As much fun I'd have dropping my clothes at any given moment, it can't be out of nowhere. I need a reason." 

"You could pull it off." 

"And you... are not being useful." She rolled her eyes. "I need a place where the less clothes you wear, the better."

He whipped out a number from the rack. "How do you feel about this?" 

It was a two piece. A bra and panties. Entirely made up of dark rhinestones and, chainmail. It looked sexy, enough to seduce the average middle aged man. 

"I designed this for La Perla." 

"It's perfect for a pool party...." She eyed the number, a conniving smirk appearing on her lips. 

"As I recall Stark Industries has a new infinity pool." 

"Tony would kill me." 

Tony wouldn't kill her per say, but he would consider cutting her off. After all he had authorised the police to arrest her. He had shown what he was capable of. And that was just a warning. Besides that pool belonged to the company. It was one thing to wreck her home, but another to wreck company property. 

"Do you want your plan to work?" 

_ What was one more little party?  _

.... 

The next day Y/N woke up with a smile. She woke up in her bed, again, but she almost didn't care. Nothing could have ruined her day. It was a busy day, people moving in and out delivering the booze for what would be an epic pool party. She had to think fast, but she made it work. Having a lot of contacts was useful for something.

She looked at herself in the mirror. She loved to stare at herself in the mirror naked, after a soothing shower. She carefully wrapped a fluffy towel around her body and made her way outside her room. 

Y/N looked down at her phone. Thor's contact was still there. She contemplated on inviting him as he always enjoyed a pool party, but it would've been out of character for her. He didn't work for her anymore. And it whatever they used to have was over. 

She walked towards the bar, when she was startled by someone sitting in her living room. 

James was there. He obviously was not expecting her to come out in a towel. He stood up immediately when he noticed her presence. Trying not to look at her. 

"I-I was told to wait on your floor." He stammered, his face turning stiff. 

"Don't worry I'll be done soon. In the meantime, please, make yourself comfortable." Of course it wasn't a coincidence that he happened to be on her floor. She just happened to be a great pretender and made sure her cleavage was visible enough for him. 

"And James" She said over her shoulder. "That suit looks good. I see someone's been to the company tailor." 

"Thank you... Ms." 

"Please, call me Y/N." 

She walked away with an all knowing smile. That certainly must have aroused interest in her. In fact, she was positive everything would work out. 

.... 

That certainly was strange and unexpected. Had she turned nice overnight? It seemed a little off for him, but he had also never seen her fully sober, so maybe she was for the first time since she had met him. 

That must have been it. But what was  _ that _ about? The flirty tone... He was imagining it. There was no way she was coming onto him. That was probably her trying to be nice. _ It was nothing _ . 

She was his boss. And she made it clear she was seeing Loki. And why did he care? He didn't. Younger people were certainly weird. 

One thing was certain, it was impossible for someone to change overnight. So he was just waiting for the other shoe to drop. 

On the bright side she seemed to approve of his suit, bought by the company. It was a two thousand dollar suit. He did choke on air when he saw the price, but working for Stark Industries meant he had to look decent, and his shabby suit was not enough.

....

  
  


The afternoon rolled over and guests started arriving to the tower. There weren't as many as she had expected, around forty of her top contacts. None of them her friends. Though she liked to pretend they were, but she knew if she ever lost her privileges she'd never hear from them again. 

' _ Can't wait to see you xx. _ ' Natasha's text read, and she smiled. Despite the more ambiguous side of their relationship, she was still her closest friend. Her best friend in fact. So she could never let her walk away. Besides sex had never come in between their friendship. 

She set the phone down as she watched her makeup artist apply a generous coat of mascara and Natasha's favorite lipstick on her. Natasha used her red lipstick to attract men, it was the color of seduction and it worked every single time (at least according to her). 

After she gave her some last touches, Y/N thanked her. She really was pulling all the stops to look flawless. 

"Thank you dear." She thanked the young woman. "As you head out, would you call in James, my bodyguard?" 

"Sure, Ms. Stark." 

As she headed out, she reached for the best looking bottle of perfume she owned and spritzed it all over her, and took her robe off, undressing the mannequin from the garments. She felt chills as she put the top on. It was cold as expected. It was metal after all. 

Those few seconds were the most exciting for her. The few seconds before the games began. She kept her eyes on the mirror in front of her, and bit her lip when she saw the door behind her creak open. 

"Would you fasten this for me?" She asked sweetly, as she waited for something to happen. Maybe some heavy breathing, or lust filled eyes. But there was nothing, and she was basically one item away from topless. 

Maybe not the most logical move since she just had her makeup artist in there with her who could've easily done the job, but the art of seduction was never based on logic. But on desire. 

The silence was even more awkward, as he tried to figure out how the hooks worked. He wasn't even trying to touch her skin. If it was anyone else, they would've tried to touch her back as they hooked it on. But he wasn't like anyone else. 

"What do you think?" She shamelessly twirled around allowing him to bask in all her essence. Y/N knew exactly what she was doing. She knew her breasts looked amazing in that piece, as did everything else. 

"It looks good." He said, as he tried to avert his eyes elsewhere.  _ No. This wasn't the way it was supposed to go _ . He was supposed to a least drool. She had severely underestimated him. 

"Come on now, I don't want to keep my guests waiting." A hint of disappointment laced her voice, as she walked past him. She was going to break him. And she wouldn't stop at nothing to do it. 

....

  
  


He could see it. Everyone's eyes on her, the way their gazes burned into her form as she made her way through the invitees who parted like the red sea just for her. Good thing was no one noticed him. 

The elevator ride to the very last floor was awkward, there was a silence that he really want to fill with small talk, but he couldn't ask Y/N what her plans for the weekend were, because he already knew them to an extent. 

It was like she had forgotten the nature of their relationship. Bordering on hatred, with no respect whatsoever. Had she hit her head?

As he looked around, everyone who 'mattered' in the media was there, at least most of the people he saw on tv or on the newspaper. 

People praised her outfit (or lack thereof) as she walked past them with a tight lipped smile. He had no idea what she was wearing. All he saw was a barely there sparkly bra made out of chainmail. Who even wore chainmail to a pool? 

It was most likely fashion. Something he hadn't really cared for. But as for everybody else, they were eating it up. They loved it, and her. If only they knew how she really was. 

He wasn't blind, had eyes. In fact the moment he saw her he panicked. He wasn't sure whether he should've seen his employer like that. Nearly topless. 

It was just another day at work. He wasn't proud to say it wasn't the worst thing he had seen. It wasn't at all. 

Out of nowhere, a (grown) man cannonballed himself into the pool, making the water splash everywhere, by everywhere he meant all over the hostess. James waited for some kind of reaction. Was she going to emit a shrill scream and deafen him? He was just to waiting to see. 

Instead she flipped her semi wet hair and ran her hand down her breasts, as if it was supposed to dry her. If that were a Bond movie, he'd understand the reasoning behind it, the Bond girl seductively trying to seduce James Bond, but this wasn't a movie. 

"Did you miss me?" The redhead she often hung out with came into their line of vision, donning a snake print one piece. He knew her as Natasha, or Nat, as Y/N called her. 

"Just a little." 

Y/N hugged her, and Natasha hugged her back. It slowly turned into a longer hug, until they were feeling each other up in front of everyone. Their faces coming closer, until their lips crashed into a passion fueled kiss. 

He had to admit if he were still a college boy he would've enjoyed two girls making out. Maybe he still did, but she was his boss, thus it felt more weird than arousing. 

Whatever this sexy gimmick was for, it seemed like everyone else but him was enjoying it. 

....

Her lips were soft and supple, as water trickled down her face. She heard loud cheering around them. Natasha's kisses were different than any other. They were gentler, and always tasted sweet. 

Her hands started venturing elsewhere.  _ Ok, it was time to stop before it became distasteful. Her eyes went to James.  _ He wasn't even looking. He was probably the only one who wasn't. Who doesn't look when two attractive women are making out in front of them? 

Natasha nipped at her ear, whispering obscenities which she only heard half of. Which she would've reacted in some way, however her mind was elsewhere. 

_ Was she losing her touch?  _

She pulled all the basic tricks from her book. The sexy outfit, the 'I need your help, I'm still half naked' trick, the wet body (she had previously paid that idiot to jump into the pool), the girl on girl action... It was fool proof. At least it used to be. 

She had been living a lie. She seduced Academy Award winners and got her way. Why was seducing a regular guy so hard? Probably because he hated her, but so did so many others and they still had great hate sex. 

Her confidence at the moment was low. But she was going to turn it around like she always used to. Y/N Stark got away with everything. And it wasn't about to change. 

"...do you want me to do that?" 

'What?" 

"I just said you seemed tense, I think you need a hand with that."

"You're right. I'll be needing  _ two _ ." Y/N finished her drink as she eyed the guy with the silver hair who just came in. Just the distraction she was looking for. Pietro Maximoff. He wasn't an A lister, but he was a new young entrepreneur who had butted heads with Tony Stark before. Therefore perfect. 

"And if you see Wanda, send her in once I'm finished. We'll be quick." 

Who better than twins to make her feel better about herself?  _ Double the praise, double the fun.  _

  
  


....

"Is something wrong?" He asked her panting. His chest adorned with the remnants of her red lips. "Do you want me to call in Wanda?"

"That won't be necessary." She stood up, in middle of foreplay. But she had to. It was rare that ideas that good struck her. So she had to act on it as the idea was still fresh. Maybe it was too much, but it was enough to get her noticed. 

"I have to make a business call."

She walked towards the window to get a little more privacy, as she tapped on one of her contacts. 

Her lips curled into the most devious smile when the line was picked up. 

" _ Playboy Magazine _ . How may I direct your call?" 

"This is Y/N Stark calling. You'll know who to direct this call to." 

  
  



	6. Something’s Not Right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mentioned drug use, heavy drinking (please drink responsibly) 
> 
> I wanted to get this out as soon as possible for you all. As usual thank you for reading the response to this fic has been overwhelming.

_ Montauk, 6 years earlier  _

  
  


_ “Let’s get this fucking party started!” She shouted, nursing a bottle of wine she had found around. It was the fifth time she had shouted that from the top of her lungs that night. Alcohol made her mind fuzzy, she couldn’t follow her line of thought. Everything was so different from her old life.  _

_ The loud music took over her body, as she made her way to the kitchen, where all the drinks were. She had never felt more alive before, and needed more.  _

_ Y/N squeezed her way through the sweaty bodies all dancing or jumping up and down to the music. The big house looked different with a hundred people in it. It looked like there were that many people. Natasha sure knew a lot of people. It was the high school party she had never been invited to back home, just elevated to a whole other level.  _

_ Unlike any other high school party, there wasn't low shelf booze at the party, and the drug of choice wasn't some second grade weed bought from a senior under the bleachers. And the most visible difference was, though it reminded her of a high school party, there were no high schoolers. Except for her and Natasha. Instead of cheerleaders, her party had young socialites, girls who looked perfect on the outside, attending charity events, attending Ivy League schools with a sweet tooth for deviance. The popular kids were replaced by the artists, models, people who already started their own businesses, who sat in front row during fashion week, successful people who had no time for high school pettiness.  _

_ Y/N revelled in her state, as she ordered shots of vodka, craving something she was familiar with. She drank her first one, when Natasha walked towards her with an obvious grin.  _

_ “Natasha, this is fucking amazing,” Y/N said, followed by a fit of giggles, as she downed another shot of vodka which provided a slight burn as it travelled down her throat. She was having the time of her life.  _

_ “And it’s going to get better.” She put out her tongue, revealing a small white pill on it.  _

_ “No.” She said incredulously. Of course, she was drunk, so all she could do was smile. “No way. Natasha!” _

_ “Fine, but I already had my fair share of these.”  _

_ “Wait. Wait… hold up.” She raised her finger and clearly beckoned at her. “Come ‘ere.”  _

_ It seemed a silly thought at first, they were just playing. Her lips moved in perfect sync with hers, as they made out, the pill transferring in her mouth. And for a second, she didn’t feel so drunk after all. She was kissing Natasha, but it didn’t feel weird at all.  _

_ She wasn't sure anymore if she wanted the feeling of ecstasy that little pill would've brought her or Natasha and her soft luscious lips. She was enjoying it a little too much.  _

  
  


__

_ “Let’s do shots!”  _

_ There was a surge of energy and warmth that built up within her. It was exhilarating, and at a certain point of the night she could only hear the deep bass from the speakers.  _

_ She wouldn’t remember what came after, but when she woke up, she found herself drooling all over her arm, as she slept on the bathroom floor. She had gotten drunk before, but it was never that bad. She had discovered a whole new different level of drunkenness the night before.  _

_ “Natasha what the fuck.” She said with her eyes half closed, she fingers on her temples. “Where’s my phone.” _

_ “Hold on…” She lazily reached out for her phone and called her. A muted buzzing sound came from within the couch. “There you go.”  _

_ Her hands fished for her phone in between the couch cushions, and after a few coins and a ball gag- which she hurled across the room, she finally got hold her phone.  _

_ It was at 1%, but the bigger problem on her hands was the amount of calls she had received the night prior, and in the early morning. One from Natasha (which was from a couple minutes before), a couple of calls from Happy, and a lot more from her father. He called her thirty seven times. Thirty seven.  _

_ And that, woke her up. _

_ What had happened? And why were there so many calls? She tried not to panic, as she made her way to the untidy kitchen to pour herself a glass of water.  _

_ Now her father was never going to trust her again. There was no way she could escape. She was cornered. He was eventually going to discover they had trashed Pepper's vacation house (and the pool table that had ended up in the actual pool). She feared the worst.  _

_ "Y/N! The door." Nat groaned. Jesus, couldn't she drink water in peace?  _

_ She took heavy steps towards the door, with her head still aching. It was the first time she woke up that hungover. And she didn't like it.  _

_ When she opened the door, she was greeted by a girl. One who was still in party attire. She must have been an invitee at her party. She looked at her as if she had expected Y/N to recognise her. She didn't.  _

_ “I forgot my bag yesterday night."  _

_ "Sure, come in, it's probably in the coat check room."  _

_ “Thanks for the party, it was great.” She said as she waddled in her heels, her mascara smudged. Though her hair was kept in place by a headband. She seemed like one of those well kept people, and yet she looked like a mess. Y/N didn’t recall seeing her at the party. And she had no idea who she was.  _

_ “No problem.” _

_ “By the way congratulations.”  _

_ “For what?”  _

_ “You’re a big sister.”  _

_ Those words resonated within her mind for a few minutes. Sister. The thirty seven phone calls. And she finally felt her heavy drinking in full effect. She felt sick. While she was busy partying, her stepmother was giving birth. To her sister.  _

**_That was the first time she knew she had fucked up._ **

**_..._ **

“I knew you were going to change your mind.” Maria remarked as she got ready, as the makeup artist gave her final touches. She was glowing, more than usual and unlike that seduction fiasco just mere three days ago, she was convinced her current plans were going to work. 

And even though she was busy planning every single detail of the photoshoot with Maria, it didn’t mean she didn’t take her time to butter James up. But her usual tricks did not work. Just as her confidence started to waver, the big day came. 

“Everyone’s gonna talk about you.” 

“Everybody already does.” She didn’t need anyone else to notice her. Just James. But if anyone else noticed it, she wouldn’t be mad at it. Maybe to pick up someone new to entertain her. Loki was starting to bore her a little. 

“I hope Mr Stark agreed to this.”

“He didn’t. But he’s on a trip somewhere so he won’t know. Plus my name is on the building.” 

She cancelled out everything that was happening around her. People walking in and out of the lab, getting it ready for the shoot. 

“I’ll take your word for it. Just because I like you, and we're friends.” 

  
  


Y/N waltzed into the set, with Maria following behind her. As James looked at her with a very worried look on his face and approached her with it. 

"I'm afraid Mr. Hogan has told me the labs have a restricted access. You can not be here."

"I'll deal with Happy and everyone else after I do this shoot. You just relax." 

"Well, he seems like fun." Maria snidely remarked as James walked away.

"He's a tough one to crack." She replied, before placing herself in her spot, as the photographer started taking some shots of her. 

“We’re going to take some test shots, you can keep the robe for those.” She heard Maria say, just as she slid the robe off her shoulders.

As it fell down to her feet, and she started posing for the camera in front of her. She wanted to look her best if she was going to be on the cover. Why bother when everyone had already seen her naked. 

She felt very powerful, as she had rehearsed that exact moment for years in front of a mirror after a shower. Just as she turned around for the photographer to take a back shot, she spotted James, standing stiffly beside the makeup chair. Trying to avert his eyes. 

Though it was unusual, she didn't let that bother her. Besides, she looked gorgeous. and was about to be in a magazine. 

They moved around the lab a couple of times, after settling down on a desk, with blueprints. She knew Tony was going to kill her, but it wasn't the first time she had been naked in his lab, all over his lab. Thor  _ really _ liked the lab. 

She moved around slowly, as if she was seducing the photographer and putting on a show for everyone else. Her warm hands running all over her body, her arms at times crossing over her breasts to give it more of an editorial feel. 

…

"I hope I'll you soon."

Maria said as she kissed her on both cheeks after they wrapped up the whole shoot, and people started cleaning the lab up. It had been three hours of constant work, but they were paid off. The end results exceeded her expectations. And she was sure to rouse some kind of reaction from any man, not just James. 

"Of course, just call me and we'll arrange something." A lie she told everyone who wanted to meet up with her. Contrary to some beliefs she had a packed schedule, and didn't like meeting up with people. 

“If one of you retouches my photos you’ll be hearing from my lawyer.” She laughed lightheartedly, although Maria knew better to know she wasn't joking. She got the message loud and clear. 

...... 

Y/N took a well deserved time alone to herself, which she barely got. No lovers, no annoying rich people she'd pretend to be friends with. So she made the best out of it. After a day of feeling like a goddess, she took time to unwind before she went to dinner with Natasha, and then spent the night at some stranger's. 

Just as she stepped out of the bath, she heard three organised knocks at her door. 

" _ Miss. Stark _ ?" Jarvis. Of course it was him. She had learnt to fully identify his knocks when she was seventeen. "Are you decent?"

"As I'll ever be." 

The door slowly opened and revealed the family butler. He seemed unbothered by the fact that she was only wrapped in a towel, as he had seen more of her than it was necessary. 

"You are expected in conference room one."

"Who's expecting me?" 

He stared at her blankly or a split second. "I'll see you downstairs Miss." And then he walked away. 

_ Now that was weird _ . She shrugged it off and attempted to dry her hair quickly with her towel, before slipping on a simple but flattering navy slip on dress, courtesy of Loki. 

Y/N shimmied into her black lacy thong, just as a precaution. It could've been anyone waiting for her, and she wanted to look her best. Before heading out of the door, applying a coat of lipgloss. 

She wondered who requested to see her in a conference room. As most of the people she had slept with had never stepped foot on those floors of the Tower. In fact she only had a handful of people in mind who knew about them. 

She knew it couldn't be Natasha. She was crazy, but not crazy enough to get it on in a conference room. As she rushed towards the conference room, she felt chills. She was ready for whomever was waiting for her. 

She couldn't see the inside of the conference room, but she did notice a figure inside. So it was one person. As she barged in, her face froze. As an array of excuses rushed into her head. 

"Tony? I thought you had a conference somewhere." 

Tony stood there, condescendingly sat on the edge of the long desk, with his arms crossed. That was why Jarvis wouldn't announce him.  _ What a dramatic son of a bitch.  _

"I did, until I had an alert from the security team at Stark Industries. That someone had broken into the lab and had a photoshoot without my consent." 

"This is really important to me, it was for a good cause." She tried to explain, but failed. 

"And why does that have anything to do with you naked on my blueprints? I also recognised Maria Hill from that footage. I told you to not do anything that brings bad press around us. Morgan is already having a hard time going to school without being swarmed by paparazzi." 

"Bad press, good press, at least people are talking about us." 

"If only it were simple as that. You're naive if you think bad press is going to do some good for our family. You being naked on a magazine is going to tarnish our name. And I'll have no daughter of mine do that to herself or to our family."

"That's why you have Morgan. I'm already fucked up as is, and there's nothing you can do that will change that."

"You're going to call Maria and tell her the photos are off limits-"    
  


"No  _ fucking _ way, now is the time you decide to be a father? You don't get to do that. You had your chance. When I was born, when I-I came to New York, when it was time to pass on your company you chose your wife, over me, your flesh and blood."

She was angry now. And there was no stopping what was coming out of her mouth. 

"You were a kid. I couldn't-"

"You were too, when you became CEO." 

“ _ Do not talk over me _ .” His face was red, he was angrier than he had ever been at her. That was his breaking point.

“I would never leave Stark Industries in the hands of a selfish, egotistical and arrogant kid such as yourself. I wish, things were different, I wish I could change the past, but i can't, so let's not dwell on what has already happened and focus on the future.”

"Sorry, but I can't do that. We're way past focusing on what could be." 

“You’re an adult, but you be acting the same way since you were sixteen. Please do yourself a favor and grow up.” Tony's tone softened but she knew his anger had turned passive. "Unless you start to pull yourself together, do not bother coming back here." 

… 

Y/N had no idea of where she was. After a couple of drinks at Le CouCou, she wanted more. So she decided to bar hop. Alone. She had never done that alone, but it was a good time to start. 

What good was having over a thousand contacts in the city if none of them could give her the support she needed? So as per usual she turned to alcohol, her choice of comfort.

She hated Tony. All he cared about was his new family, as if he had ever cared about her before. He had left her and her mother. It wasn't something she could just forget. And the company. It wasn't like she had her eye on it for a very long time, it was just she expected her father to pass it on to her. Like any other rich father would. Pass it on to their unqualified offspring, as a way to show their affection.

She had completely forgotten about her plan. James, the seduction of the latter, and sleeping with him to get him fired. She had enough on her plate for the night. But she was going to get back on track. 

..... 

“Jamesy!” She squealed as she opened her arms, as intoxicated as she was. “Please, dance with me.” 

“I think you’ve had enough to drink. Let me take you home.” 

“Don’t wanna, and you can’t make me.” She pouted and crossed her arms. He didn't want to deal with drunk her, although in her intoxicated-vulnerable state she was nicer than usual. 

“You’re upset, I get it, but you’re very drunk, and I have to get you home.” He tried to reason with her. 

“I’m not going back to that place.” She shook her head, as the bartender put another drink in front of her and she pushed it towards him. “Have a drink, live a little.”

“I can’t, I’m on duty.” 

“Whatever I’ll continue to have my fun.” 

As much as intolerable as she was, she was vulnerable, drinking to cope with her emotions. And he didn't like to see her that way. Besides, he had a daughter and he didn't want her to not have help if she ever needed it. 

As he told the bartender to cut her off, he heard her whimpering.  _ Oh no _ . She was crying. He had no idea how to deal with it. 

“Why don’t you like me James?” It seemed sincere, unlike everything else that had been coming out of her mouth, almost vulnerable. 

He almost felt sorry for her. 

“You’re my boss.”

“Still, am I not sexy enough?” She asked, as her glassy eyes looked into his. And he saw it and understood her. "I'll never be enough for anyone. For my father, for the company, for-" She paused, as if she had something more important to add but decided not to.    
  


There was something that troubled her, and that affected her so badly she acted out the way she did. And he understood that part. The spoils of his divorce still had an impact on him and his livelihood. 

"But who the fuck cares? Because I got enough love for me baby." She started smiling again. He was almost scared and amused by the change in moods. "One more drink please."

"Ok, none for you." 

"No gimme." Y/N whined, as she pouted her lips, as she made grabby hands. 

"Come on, let's go." 


	7. Far from Dreamland

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s): oral sex (female receiving)

“ _ Welcome home _ ." Natasha purred, as she opened the front door to her penthouse apartment. She was in a sexy French maid's costume equipped with a feather duster. "I was beginning to think you'd never come." 

Y/N was about to fuck for a roof. With nowhere else to go, Natasha's place seemed the next viable option. She would have gone to Loki's, but she had been spending a lot of time with him, and she didn't want him to think she was desperate. 

"How's the destruction of your bodyguard coming along?" She panted, as she kissed her neck. "Is he giving up?"

"Uh huh." Y/N nodded. 

_ She was lying. _

She wasn't sure whether she could go through with the plan. She knew she was a bitch, but she wasn't about to completely ruin someone's livelihood for a lay. But she wasn't going to tell Natasha that. 

"I think you need to unwind. You're under so much stress. Let me take care of it." She whispered as she proceeded to undo her clothes. 

As much as Y/N liked her giving her a lot of sex, when there was no one else to fuck, she wanted to talk to her. About everything that had happened the day prior, from the failed seduction plan (and her deflated ego), to Tony yelling at her that ended up with her getting drunk at a questionable bar with no place to go. 

Natasha wouldn't have understood her. She would've tried, just like everyone else in her life. She would've smiled, and told her what she wanted to hear, not before giving her several mind blowing orgasms. 

Her tongue laid flat on her pussy, which made her whimper, but then she returned back to her thoughts. 

Her eyes slowly opened, and was immediately greeted by the headache giving sunlight. She tried to prop herself up, but her body failed her. She wanted to go back to her dreamland, with Natasha the French maid, even though plagued by the same issues. She had nowhere else to go. 

Every time she woke up hungover, she’d always tell herself she would never do that again, only to get wasted the very same night. 

She slowly came to the realization that she didn’t smell the Chanel N.5 and sex of her room (which was at times tainted with the scent of Paco Rabanne), nor the leather of Loki’s, or the tobacco and Febreeze from Natasha’s. 

She wasn’t sleeping on expensive sheets either. There wasn’t a bed. Neither Egyptian cotton sheets. She was on a couch. 

The smell was unfamiliar. Someone was cooking something. And it couldn’t have been Natasha. She didn’t cook. That was her way of life. Not lifting a finger for anything as everyone else responded to her every beck and call. 

She wasn't at home. She realised she was in someone's home. Y/N wasn't naked either, so whomever's place it was, she hadn't slept with them. 

“Who the hell are you?” She heard a voice ask in a loud voice, probably talking to her. She lamented at the loudness of it, as it boomed in her head and echoed throughout. 

A young girl stood in front of her with a mug held with both of her hands.  _ Why was she staring at her?  _

She stared at her in an inquisitive manner through her cerulean eyes. 

“Hey, I asked you a question.” 

And she had an attitude. What an annoying little-

“You’re a kid.” Wait, what was a kid doing there? Had she accidentally gone home with a father? If so why wasn't she undressed? Usually dads liked her. A little too much. 

“And you’re hungover.” 

“Touché.” 

"Carol, leave our guest alone.” Her head turned towards the kitchen to see James. It was an interesting and surprising turn of events. Suddenly her vague recollections from the night before pieced themselves together. From the several shots to singing drunkenly at the bar. 

“Guest? Don’t tell me you’re Y/N Stark.”

“In the flesh” 

“Do you act like a heathen because you enjoy it, or is it an act of defiance?”

“Carol!”

“You do sound an awful lot like my father.” She groaned as she hid her face from the light. She had enough of the interrogation. It gave her a headache. 

“Thank you.”

“It’s not a compliment." But the annoying girl was already gone. Much to her luck. She couldn’t stand anyone talking so loudly around her. Not when everything resonated in her mind.

  
  


She forced herself off the couch, dragging her feet across the floor, making her way towards the kitchen. Where James was cooking something. Everything had a nostalgic feel to it. She recognised the smells, the smell of tomato sauce and onions simmering in the pot, the sound bubbling water, and the overall feel of a regular kitchen. They weren’t things she was used to anymore, but they were still there in the back of her mind. 

"Is that your..."

"Daughter? Yes." 

So there  _ was _ someone who had slept with James and had a daughter with him. And she was nothing like him. Unfashionable, maybe, but she was loud. And James was a lot of things, but loud wasn't one of them. 

"Have some pasta."

He said as he placed the spaghetti with tomato sauce in front of her. 

"Thanks..." She said as the smell of it made her mouth water. "How old is she?"

"Sixteen." 

_ Sixteen _ . She tried to remember herself at that age. Young, and impressionable, quickly swayed into the world of drugs, and underage drinking. There was so much pressure. The media was on her back 24/7, reporting on everything, from her eating habits to her friends. It was exhausting. 

  
  


As James washed the dishes, she walked around a bit. She figured it was good for her legs. Besides, it had been a long time since she had stepped foot in a house that actually looked like a house. There were pictures of James smiling, with his daughter in them. She had to admit the photos were cute. 

  
  


It wasn't until her eyes fell on the small photograph behind Carol's preschool photo that her jaw dropped. It was a young man, who from the looks of it had just graduated from the police academy. He was handsome to say the least, with a jaw so sharp that could cut diamonds. 

If it weren't for the crystalline blue eyes, she wouldn't have recognised him. 

"That's from a few years ago." She heard a voice say behind her. It was James. The hottie from the photograph was him. 

'Wow." Was all she could say. She didn't want to be rude, and ask what had happened. Instead she continued to stay silent, something very uncharacteristic of her. So much so that it became a little weird. She knew she had to say something. Anything at all. 

"I looked a little different back then." He added as he wiped his hands on the towel he held. 

Y/N felt bad. For the past weeks she had tried so hard to get him fired when all that time he had a family. One he had to sustain. The only thing she had ever felt bad about was herself, and the time she got drunk at her half sister's birthday party (and started flirting with the fairy princess). 

She didn't know what it was that made her feel so bad. She wondered whether it was the sudden knowledge that underneath all of 'that' laid a handsome man. But she wanted to make things better, as she had no intention of getting him fired any time soon. 

"Can I stay here for a while? I'm surrounded by temptation in the city." She said as she checked the time on her phone. 

“Sure.” 

"And you... can enjoy the day with your friends, if you have any." There it was. She was herself again. 

But it didn't faze him. It seemed like anything she gave him, didn't get to him. Which was as admirable as frustrating. 

"I can't leave you alone. It's my job to keep you safe."

"True. But I'm staying indoors. Hardly a place for paparazzi"

"Ok, just don't destroy anything." 

"Deal." 

......

He walked into the bar, a place he hadn't been in for quite some time. It was nearly empty, as it was too early to have its usual patrons, but he snickered as he saw a friendly face.    
A friend he hadn't seen because of the time consuming job he had. 

"Bucky!" He heard a loud voice say as he entered the bar. "It was time you showed up. You blew me off a couple of times. I'm starting to think you love Stark Industries more than you love me. "

"Sorry my job kept me busy after hours." 

" _ After hours _ ? Barnes I didn't think you did those." Sam raised his eyebrows suggestively and he looked at him disgusted. He had no idea why their conversations always took that turn, but he had missed it. 

"Please will you stop being gross? I work for a kid." 

"And which kid are you currently working for exactly? Does it need you to read them bedtime stories and chec the closet for monsters?" He quipped, as he ordered another round of beers. 

"It's not funny Sam, and she's not an actual kid. She just likes acting like one." 

"No way." He said incredulously, somehow managing to laugh at the same time. "The Stark you're working for is Stark's daughter?"

"How do you know about her?"

"Please, ever since I got married I have gossip magazines all over the house. I know who Brad Pitt is currently dating. You're lucky though, she's smokin'" 

"Sam? You have a wife! And she's way too young." 

"So? Just because I'm married, doesn't mean I'm blind. She is a gorgeous young woman, and even someone as stubborn as you can see that." 

Sam wasn't wrong. Y/N wasn't unattractive at all. Though it was common knowledge already amongst everyone. But he didn't see her through the filter everyone did, her looks were awfully paired with that carelessness of hers. He couldn't blame her. She was young and rich. Anyone with that amount of money and her age would do the same. 

"Yeah." It was the only thing he said. "How's the precinct?"

"I don't think you want to know. It's nothing glamorous like your current job."

"I really want to know, besides I need to hear something ordinary that has nothing to do with chartering a private jet to some island in the Pacific." 

"Ok, fine. But you asked for it." He hesitated for a second. “Rumlow. He became a Sergeant." 

Bucky didn't expect people to wait for him. He had quit. But he had been replaced by him of all people. Rumlow, the asshole who was now known as the one who took his ex wife, then his old job. 

“If it makes you feel any better, he’s an awful Sergeant.”

“It does, and the next round is on me.” 

  
  


.... 

Y/N was beyond bored. The last place she had expected to be was a small house outside the city. 

Just disappearing like that had caused Natasha to contact her about her whereabouts, and others to invite her to their events. As the hangover started to fizzle out, she grew more restless, wanting to do something productive with her time, she started to scavenge for alcohol in any form. After all, if she had to stay in such a small house, in Brooklyn of all places, she figured she had to do it drunk. 

It was times like that, that she hated the fact she barely got dressed. She could’ve used a pair of mom jeans and a t-shirt. But alas, she had decided to wear a slip on dress. She felt it ride up her legs as she looked in the cupboards above her head, for a trace of booze. It didn’t have to be good wine, she wanted cheap wine that would get her tipsy fast. 

After 10 minutes of (not so) thorough searching, Y/N decided to give up. She was tired already, and not even wine was worth using her energy for. 

She slumped into the couch, when she heard faint music coming from somewhere in the house. And that was when she had realized someone else was still in the house. James’ daughter, whom she remembered (wrongly) as Karen. She might have had an attitude, but Y/N liked her choice in music. 

"Hey. Do you know where you dad keeps the wine?" She asked as she peeped through the door. 

The young girl laid in bed, on her laptop, while  _ Whitesnake’s Still of the Night  _ played loudly in the background. 

"Why? You need to recharge?" 

"No, just bored." 

"Yeah, no. I'm not handing alcohol to someone who clearly does not know her drink limit."

"I'll pay you well."

"My answer is still no." She furrowed her eyebrows. It was clear she did not approve of her. "But out of curiosity, does that usually work?" 

"Yes, most of the time. "

Just as she was about to retreat, she opened her mouth again. 

"What have you done to my father?" That was a question that took Y/N out of surprise. She expected her to outright, but not  _ that _ much. 

"I mean he seems pretty upset most of the time when I see him, and I know he thinks he's great at hiding it, but I know its you who has gotten him so down." 

“It’s complicated. You wouldn’t understand.” 

“Try me.” 

Y/N shrugged, and sat herself down. She told her about Thor. She hadn’t talked about him to anyone since he left. Her mind just dropped him after they stopped seeing each other. And she listened. 

...... 

James returned a half and hour later, and came home to his daughter marinating the steak while Y/N washing the vegetables. The sight of her being so normal shocked him. He wouldn’t have guessed she was as crazy as she was if he had only seen her then. Maybe leaving her in his home alone with his daughter wasn’t such a bad idea. 

Truth was he needed the day off. And he wasn’t quite sure why she had been so kind to give him that. Dressed in his daughter’s tie dye shirt and cotton shorts, she looked almost unrecognisable. He didn’t know what to do but stare, after all having his employer home in his daughter’s clothes was a first. 

And he continued to appreciate the slight change throughout dinner, when they started talking about Carol’s school and soccer practise. Everything was well and Y/N seemed to fit right in, or at least so he believed. 

“So how long have you been divorced?”

“Excuse me?” He managed to say after nearly choking on a piece of steak. He didn’t expect her to be so direct. No one had been. Not since his divorce. 

“Well, I see the absence of a wedding ring, which could also imply you’re single. But that one wedding photo in that old album I found suggests otherwise. I just took a lucky guess.”

“Wow, you must be popular at dinners.” Carol mumbled under her breath, as she pushed around the lettuce leaves on her plate. 

“I am.” 

In an effort to make everything seem normal in front of his daughter, and his boss he decided to answer. 

“I was married. For fourteen years.” 

That was all that came out of his mouth. At least it was something. No one had ever tried to bring up the divorce in a conversation. Somehow he was still bothered by it.

“Fourteen years...“ She repeated, it was evident that she had nothing else to add, having said too much already. 

“They may seem like a lot, but they flew by. The best part of it was Carol.” 

“If you cry, I’ll start crying.” She got fake emotional, as she held a hand to her chest. 

Then there was a silence. One of those silences everyone hated, for they were so uncomfortable. He knew he had to intervene, so he asked the first thing at the top of his mind. 

“So... you and Loki.”

“Loki and I what?” She looked at him quizzically. 

“How long have you been together?”

“What kind of a question is that?”

“It’s a question you’ve asked me too, and yours was phrased a little worse.” 

“Thing is Loki and I are nothing. We just fuck and it’s great so we keep doing it.” 

“Y/N!” His eyes widened, as he pointed his head towards his daughter. 

“What? She’s a teenager, it’s not like she doesn’t know what sex is.” 

Carol’s eyes widened, her cheeks flushed as she kept stuffing her mouth with food. He was wrong. She still was the same. But maybe he had judged her too quickly as she did. 

……. 

Y/N had insisted to take a taxi home, but James wouldn’t have it. He had told her incessantly it was his job to protect her from harm's way, which on any other day she would’ve found annoying, but now she found it endearing. 

James was a sweet man. Old, a little. But it was not his fault if he came in her life the way he did. It could’ve happened to any other person. 

So there she found herself as James drove her home in his very ugly car. Perhaps she had been too optimistic when she thought things would magically change, but they didn’t.

There was still that awkward tension between them, as he kept his eyes on the road ahead of them. 

“I’m sorry... I guess. You’re pretty cool Barnes.” 

Her mind couldn’t help it but go back to the picture she had found. The one of James in a police uniform. A young, handsome, chiseled James. She couldn’t help but imagining that man behind the wheel. 

“Thanks.”

“Is it ok to pretend the past weeks never happened?”

“It is.” He looked over at her, with a small smile. He appreciated her olive branch. 

And just like that, the war was over. 

  
  
  
  
  



	8. A Blast from the Past

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: SMUT (rough sex, oral sex)

He stood still at the door as he watched people join her table. He still couldn’t remember the names, but he did know Natasha. Whose penthouse was currently occupied by Y/N as well. His daughter had given a crash course of sorts, and told him Natasha was her closest friend since high school.

She had acquired a couple of business ventures because of her father, and also because of Y/N. Being friends with her came with perks. Several of them, as she was also often found in her bed. 

In fact there were some people who were regulars in her bedroom. While most were mere guests, he had found out that other people joined in on their fun. 

He had grown to be quite non judgemental of her trysts, as he understood where she was coming from. He too had one night stands- though not as frequently as her, during his twenties. Though one had stuck forever. 

Once he had snapped out of his own thoughts, he noticed a woman, dressed elegantly had entered the place. Brunette, red lips, and carrying a small purse. He knew she wasn't of any harm to Y/N, but took notice of her, as he woman took one look at her, and walked out again. 

  
  


....

Of all the places to brunch, that woman had decided to walk in the same place as her. It was a given she had excellent taste. Y/N had referred her that place that one time. 

Peggy Carter was one of those people Y/N never liked, but nevertheless hung out with, as she had a lot of leverage within the New York elite society. Co-founder of S.H.I.E.L.D Corp., and her former mentor, she was treated like royalty everywhere she went. She showed her the tricks of the trade, ones Natasha could never teach her. 

Being associated with her for so long as she did, not only brought in new opportunities, but molded her into the person she had become. With her influence in the press, Y/N stayed out scandals that would've ruined her. 

That was until her birthday the previous year, when she had brought her closest friends (all of whom did not like her) tickets to the ballet. Where she had dramatically slapped her in front of her guests as she had previously discovered that while she was in and out of the country, her husband, Steve, had been in and out of her. 

_ Y/N hated weddings. The ceremony, the over the top reception, but she did enjoy the food. The people, much less. She had forgotten whose wedding it was. Probably of another New York socialite with daddy's cash and some Wall Street guy.  _

_ She was drowning in boredom. Watching the women compare their estates over the lavish course of Chateaubriand. As the waiter topped off her glass, her third one of the afternoon, she figured she needed more to bear the ladies at her table.  _

_ And just as she finished her glass, she noticed someone out of the corner of her eye. Steve Rogers, Peggy's handsome husband who everyone wanted to be, or fuck. For the past year she had worked with Peggy, she was one of the many girls who eyed him in his tight shirts.  _

_ Y/N watched the women at her table softening their gaze, biting their lips at the man, lusting after him. Their whole demeanor changed. They were dissing some woman from their country club one second, and batting their eyelashes the next. They were fascinatingly disturbing creatures.  _

_ "Hello ladies, are we having fun?"  _

_ The women giddily giggled. "We are. The ceremony was marvellous." The lady in the blush pink dress said. As if she hadn't been dissing it a mere minutes ago.  _

_ "Well, I'll make sure the happy couple knows that."  _

  
  


_ "Steve Rogers, it is nice to see you again." She spoke, as she looked at him through her eyelashes. That gave her incentive to stare at him a little longer. He looked sexier with the beard he was sporting.  _

_ What wouldn't she have given to ride his face.  _

_ "Y/N Stark. How are you?" He asked her, as he kissed both of her cheeks.  _

_ "I've been better. You know the bride?"  _

_ "The groom actually. Lang. We went to Columbia together. He's a decent guy."  _

_ "I'm actually bored here, would you care for a spin?" _ __   
  


_ "I'm warning you, I got two left feet."  _

_ "Come on Rogers, show me what you got."  _

_ She gave her hand, and he took it in his. Y/N knew she was walking on eggshells. That everyone there knew Peggy, and one error, she would've been out.  _

_ Everything she did was subtle, from her hips swaying to the ballad. It was the first time she had been so close to Steve. Turned out he wasn't as bad of a dancer he had told her he was. Though the song was a little icky and romantic. Not the appropriate song to dance with the man she wanted to fuck his brains out.  _

_ Steve didn't seem to mind at all. Thankfully there were a lot more people coming to dance, so they could blend in with them. It was the first time she worried about what people thought. She couldn't afford anyone thinking she had a crush on Peggy's husband.  _

_ "Where's Peggy?"  _

_ Y/N looked into his blue eyes. She couldn't deny she wanted him, so she came to her senses, and came to the conclusion that if she was ever going to make a pass at him, the wedding was the perfect time.  _

_ "Peggy's handling some business at the London Headquarters." London. It meant she would've stayed there extra time to spend with her family. She had the time.  _

_ "She shouldn't leave you alone. Every single woman in here has her eyes on you." _

_ "Peggy trusts me." He replied as he spun her. She wondered if he was the type to cheat on his wife. She had caught him staring at her chest a couple of times, but perhaps she had imagined it.  _

_ It wasn't her fault if she wanted him so badly. Steve was the forbidden fruit. A married man, whose wife was her mentor.  _

_ "I'm dying of boredom. What do you say we go and get some drinks?" She whispered in his ear, his musk driving her wild.  _

_ "That sounds good. Where are we going?" _

_ "Where's your room?"  _

  
  


_ It didn't take them long to reach Steve's suite, the thing was he was so collected up until he closed the room door shut, and when he did, a whole other side of him unleashed. Her back was up against the wall, as she felt his large hands roam all over her.  _

_ He quickly unzipped her dress, making it pool down to her feet. His eyes taking in her figure, her breasts contained in her La Perla bra, her core covered by matching panties.  _

_ Her legs found themselves around his hips, as passion overtook their bodies. His lips hungrily attacked neck, starved with lust, as he carried her to the large bed.  _

_ He placed her rather gently on the bed, after which she watched him undress slowly. His blazer fell off his shoulders. Every move of his was calculated, nothing was haphazard, he was elegant in every way.  _

_ Her eyes were fixed on his long fingers as he unbuttoned his shirt, throwing it on a chair before she lost her patience and helped him with his pants.  _

_ Her hand palmed him through his pants, before undoing them. There was a visible tent in his briefs as she bit her lip as she pulled him out. He had such a beautiful cock. Long, thick and pink. Her hand gripped on its base as she kitten licked his tip, getting a little taste of him.  _

_ She wrapped her painted lips around the tip and used her tongue, making him hiss at the sudden contact. She had got him by the balls, quite literally. His groans grew frequent, as she slowly eased his length in her mouth.  _

_ She wanted him to think of her when he was fucking Peggy. She wanted to be the one he fantasized about while making love to her. She wanted him to imagine her soft lips around his shaft while Peggy was blowing him.  _

_ It was so dirty. She was on all fours on the end of the bed, as he fucked her mouth. His hands gripped on what used to be her styled hair, though she knew what would've happened to it at the end of the day. Besides, she knew weddings were perfect for fucking.  _

_ She wouldn't have guessed that perfect husband Steve- the one who used to bring flowers himself to Peggy's office and stood beside her on every occasion was so rough in bed.  _

_ He pulled away without coming, leaving her mouth empty as saliva trickled down her chin.  _

_ "You're such a good girl." He praised, pushing her back onto the bed, as he slid in between her legs. Spreading them, as he chuckled at the state of her panties. She was soaked. And who could blame her? Steve was an Adonis.  _

_ His mouth was everywhere but he place she really needed him to be. His beard tickling her skin, as he kissed the insides of her thighs, inching closer to her clothed core.  _

_ He pulled her panties down her legs, until they were discarded somewhere in the room.  _

_ She gasped, as his tongue delved within her folds, moving from her sensitive clit down to her entrance. Something told her he knew exactly what he was doing. His breath, was hot on her core as he tasted her.  _

_ It is almost too much, but she didn't want to cum just yet. She wanted to do so when he was inside of her. But as he kept going, she wasn't sure she was able to wait.  _

_ "Please fuck me." She whined, as he began chuckling against her. God, he was so sexy.  _

_ He obliged. After all, he wanted her as much as she wanted him.  _

_ She wasn't paying attention enough to know where the foil packet between his fingers came from, but she was grateful. The last thing she needed from him was a baby especially when Peggy was trying to start a family of her own.  _

_ When he sheathed himself inside her, as she let out a small gasp at the sudden stretch. She felt so full with him in her.  _

_ "Fuck me hard." She pleaded. She sounded so desperate. She was. She wanted him to fuck her so hard she'd feel him for days. She wanted him to fuck the pain away.  _

_ It was just raw, hard sex. The kind that made her breasts bounce every time he thrusted in her, hitting that sweet spot each time. She felt every inch of him, the vein on the side of his cock rubbing inside of her, and he made sure of that.  _

_ Her sex tightened around him, as his hand snaked in between them, pressing against her clit. He was so good.  _

_ His cock continued to pound into her, in and out, making her moan his name loudly. HIs thrusts were controlled, yet so primal. There was no denying he was a passionate lover.  _

_ His lips hovered above hers, just grazing them, not giving into a kiss. He didn't kiss, and neither did she. Maybe that was why they fit so perfectly.  _

_ Her back arched, as she sought her release. She was close, she could feel the coil tightening. The heavy panting, the wet sound of skin slapping, her moans getting louder and louder, she just felt all of it. Until she let go.  _

_ He still kept fucking her through her orgasm, intensifying her pleasure, until he gave her one last shuddered thrust, emptying himself in the condom.  _

_ She laid there for a while, until she found the strength in her body to get up. She had just fucked Peggy's husband. The Peggy, who was her mentor not to mention boss, and her family's close friend. Steve occasionally went on trips with Tony, and she even recalled them spending New Year's in Aspen with their respective spouses.  _

_ Steve wasn't her first married man, and she'd feel guilty if she didn't feel so numb. In fact Steve was one of the many men she had been with to forget someone. If only getting over someone was as easy as getting under someone.  _

_ "I'm going to take a shower, would you care to join?" She asked, as she looked back, halfway on her way to the bathroom. She had nothing to lose.  _

_ "I thought you'd never ask."  _

_ Two weeks later, they had taken their affair to across the ocean. She found herself with her breasts pressed against the window of his bedroom, as he pounded into her from behind, looking towards the view of the city.  _

_ She would've done anything to forget. Even at the cost of hurting others.  _

.... 

"Who was that woman?" He asked her as he got in the driver's seat. He was curious, as well as he had to know who the people who eyed her the bad way were, though there were many, as it was his job to keep her from harm. 

"A woman I used to work for a couple of years. S.H.I.E.L.D Corp."

He had heard of S.H.I.E.L.D Corp. Because he had sent in an application a few times, but never got an answer. It was just something he had given up. And though he was grateful he had gotten a job at Stark Industries, he wanted to be a little more than a bodyguard to some reckless young woman. Although it wasn't as bad as it was turning out to be. 

It just wasn't the place he thought he'd be at that point in his life. 

And though he felt like there was more to Y/N's story, but he decided it was best not to press her for information. 

Not when things had been going so well. 

.... 

As they got into Natasha's building, she stopped in her tracks as soon as she saw a woman in a pantsuit, sat comfortably yet so collected at the lobby. 

She mentally cursed a few times, before she walked up to her. She wondered why was she seeing so many people that day. 

“Pepper… I was expecting you.”

“I hope you don’t mind. The doorman let me in.”

"I don't. What do you want to talk about? If its about me getting into Stark Industries without permission, Tony already punished me for it."

"No, I'm not here for that." She paused, as she put a loose strand of her strawberry blonde hair behind her ear. Y/N had no idea how she managed to be so composed all the time. “I don’t know what happened between you and your father, but we’d like you back home.” 

“And by  _ 'we' _ I assume you’re talking about yourself. Tony made it clear he didn’t want me there.” 

“I mean  _ we _ as in, Morgan and I. She’s pretty fond of you. As am I. As for your father, he’ll come around. He loves you, you know?”  _ Then he had a pretty weird way of showing it.  _

Pepper said it as if it was an obvious thing for a father to love their kid. That was because he was there for their daughter. For what concerned her, she didn't belong. After all, she had been cast aside for all her life. 

_ They _ had been the focus of his life. There was a huge difference. 

She had the company, and she had the family. She had everything, while what Y/N had at that moment, were 'friends' she knew who would've stabbed her in the back as soon as things got rough, and other 'friends' who would've done the same, not before sleeping with her. So basically she was left with nothing. 

Well, except a bodyguard. She had James, the bodyguard. Whom she paid to have around. 

"Please think about it. If you do come home, then know you'll be welcomed back with open arms." She smiled warmly before bidding her goodbyes to both her and James. As it left Y/N wondering what someone as sweet as Pepper could have seen in her estranged father. A man who had ignored her existence for sixteen years. 

If anything, it had left her hopeful for something honest in her life, and decided to take advantage of the most honest person in her life, at that point. 

"Hey James, would you like to come up for a drink?"

"Sure, why not?" 

She could really use a drink, and perhaps someone to talk to. 


	9. Out in the Open

Three drinks turned out to be just what Y/N needed to let everything go. Everything that had bothered her just came out of her mouth like word vomit. Completely uncontrolled.

"My father." She started, with a bottle of wine in hand. The bottle was half gone, and she wasn't tipsy at all. "As generous as he is, to everyone else, treats me as if I don't exist. Hell, he cares more about the kids in his scholarship program. We share the same name, and blood. But that's about it."

"And the thing that disturbs me the most, is that he's happy now. With his other daughter, and new wife. As if he has completely forgotten about my mother, and the way he left her. My mom was another one of Tony Stark's flings, and was discarded just the rest of them. The Tony I know, cares for no one but himself." 

The memories of her past followed her wherever she went. No matter how famous, or richer she got, she would still be reminded of the fact that she was alone. That was something she’d never say out loud, for fear that if she had said it, it’d be true. 

She took another chug at the bottle, and sighed. She was definitely losing her touch, as she was sitting in her living room, nursing a bottle of wine, while ranting to her bodyguard. 

If only life was as simple as it seemed at that moment. She looked at him, he was listening. She could tell. He didn’t look at her as if he had only one thing in mind, as she spoke. It was different, but she appreciated it. 

"Shit it's already seven." He said, to which she smiled. It was nice to see him a little more relaxed. 

"Is it?"

"Yeah time flies." 

....

"You want to order pizza or some other take out?" She said as she walked towards the unused kitchen. "What do you say?"

"I wouldn't want to impose. Isn't Natasha coming back soon?" 

"Nat's in LA filming a promo or something, which means this is my abode for the time being. So, you want a pizza?" 

"It's fine, I'm not that hungry." He lied, as he was very hungry. But he had a good reason why he didn’t want to eat at that moment. 

"Bullshit. I heard your stomach grumbling, plus its bad to drink on an empty stomach, I mean men your age should be more careful." 

_Shit_. So much for lying. 

"It's just- I haven't eaten a pizza in a while, or any other take out food for that matter." 

"Why is that?" 

He wasn't sure if he wanted to share his insecurities. But since it wasn't much of a secret, he decided to let it out. 

"When my wife asked for a divorce, one of the many reasons was me. And how I let myself go. You have seen my police academy picture right?"

She nodded slowly. 

"Then you must know the reason." 

"I mean, if you're not in the mood for pizza, its fine. But if you're holding back because a big mouthed cunt had something to do about it, then fuck her. She's a fucking asshole, with all due respect of course." She said truthfully. "And even though you used to be hot when you were young, you still got it going on. For an old suburban dad." 

As fouled mouthed her comment was, he couldn't help but let out a little chuckle and a smile along with it. Nobody since his divorce had been able to insult his ex wife. All the comments about her, were about her not being the woman for him. There was something so candid, yet comforting about what Y/N had just said. 

"Let me ask again. You want to _share_ a pizza?" 

"Lets do it." 

  


...

  


It was different to see him with his guard down, he turned out to be pretty laid back, and not as stern as she thought he'd be. It was definitely different, whatever James was to her was different from what the ones before him were. 

And even though he was there just because he worked for her, she found his presence comforting. 

"I think Natasha likes you." He said as he reached for another slice. 

"Well no shit, she wouldn't sleep with me otherwise."

"Not just like that. I've seen the look she gives you. She really likes you." 

"You think?" 

"I mean it's pretty obvious. And you've been sleeping with other people in front of her. I think you should talk about it. With her. And sort it out before it ruins your friendship." 

"I sleep around for this very reason. To avoid the talk. It's uncomfortable, and I hate it." 

"Well, that's exactly how I got divorced. Because the talk was avoided."

"Now I got no choice because you brought up your divorce. So why did you even marry her?" 

"She was different. Sweet, compassionate, thoughtful... Things just change when one gets married. It's not always like that. I was just unlucky." 

"But how did you know?" 

"What about?"

"How did you know you loved her?" 

"I guess it's about that undeniable chemistry, I was even more sure when I first saw Carol. No matter how she has treated me, it doesn't change the fact that she has given me my daughter."

"Have you, ever been in love?" 

There it was, the personal question she wanted to avoid. 

"No." She said calmly. She had been in love. Only once, but that was something she never talked with anyone. "Well, except my custom Dior bag. Maybe Morgan. I might've never felt romantic love, but she's the only person I tolerate. She's a pretty cool kid. You're gonna see one day."

"One day? So it has been decided, I am going to last in this job." 

"Who knows." She shrugged as she raised her glass. "To second chances." 

"To second chances." 

  
  


She tiptoed into the living room. It was a habit she had acquired when sneaking out of people's home in the morning. To realize that James had stayed there for the whole night. He decided to stay. Or he just was tired. Either way, she strangely appreciated the company. He did look adorable when he slept with his mouth half open. 

She didn't know why she vented so much to him, there was something comforting about him. It was perhaps because he was a father, a good one, to his daughter. She remembered the way they acted in each others presence. They had the kind of relationship she strived for when she lived with her single mother. All she ever wanted when she was younger, was a father just like everyone else. 

Y/N couldn’t help but smile. 

…

James was woken up with the abrupt clanging on pans on the marble floor. _That was one way to start the day_. Followed by a string of curse words. He had slept over. 

So what if he had, he did it to keep her safer. After all, that was his job. To keep her safe. He had no idea why he kept mentally justifying himself. She had drunk a lot, she could’ve choked in her sleep, and with no one in the house, she would’ve died. 

That was the most plausible excuse he went with. For someone who was innocent, he sure did justify your himself a lot. 

After which he leapt to his feet, for fear that Y/N was destroying the kitchen. 

“Are you ok?” 

“Good morning to you too.” She said with a smirk. It was an unusual sight. To see her in an oversized shirt which just about covered everything there was to cover.

It was unusual because she was actually covered. As he had seen _a lot_ of her, for the little time he had been working for her. 

“I was trying to make some breakfast. But all we have is booze and an array of snacks to eat when we have the munchies. So if you want to have a regular breakfast, this isn’t the place for that.” 

“It’s fine.” 

“So you want to go out for breakfast?”

“I don’t-“

“I know, and I already called Hugo Boss to send an intern over with a few suits.”

“You didn’t have to.” 

“Well, they had to. I did them a favor way back. Something including an underground poker game and a jaguar. The animal, not the car.” She clarified, as if what she had just said, made perfect sense.“The suits will be here soon. You can take a shower in the guest bathroom. The towels here are to die for.” 

  


…. 

Her phone vibrated on the kitchen counter, she rolled her eyes as soon as she saw who was calling her. She contemplated about not answering, but she would've kept calling until she picked up. 

"Maria Hill. What a pleasure hearing your voice at 9AM." She better have had good news, if not she would’ve answered for nothing. 

"I don't know if you have checked the internet, but you my dear, are blowing up." 

"For what?" 

"The cover darling. It's out and from the looks of it, you're getting a lot of attention for it." The cover. She had put that on the back of her mind. As it was part of a plan that was no longer in motion. "I sent you a copy. Enjoy it while it lasts. Ciao." _Bitch_. 

The door rang just as she hung up. _Damn, Maria must've been psychic_. She opened the door to a young man. Probably her same age. Lo and behold, he held her magazine in his hand. And looked as her as if he had been caught doing something bad. 

"I-I'm sorry Ms. Here are the suits." He stuttered, his face red as a tomato. 

"Thanks." 

"Oh, and this. It was on the floor, and I picked it up." 

He handed her the magazine. _The_ magazine, that Maria had delivered. A pink post it note attached to it. With ' _Enjoy :)_ ' scribbled on it. 

"And... what do you think of it?" 

"You look really good. I mean, better than good. It's fantastic. I-I'm a huge fan." 

"What's your name?" 

"Peter. Parker. Peter Parker." He said all at once. He was cute. 

"Well, Peter Parker, thank you for the suit, and here." She handed him a two hundred dollars. "Have fun." 

  


He thanked her a couple of times before he left. Leaving her alone, with the cover. 

It was the moment every girl in her social standing dreamt of. And there it was. 

… 

"James, the suits are here." She said as she walked towards him. "Decide which one to put today, and the rest are yours to keep." 

"Are you sure?"  


"Consider this an apology. I've been a bitch, and you deserve nice suits. Also. My Playboy issue is here." 

She handed the magazine over to him. 

_She looked great._ He hadn’t seen it before. Sam was right. Y/N Stark was known for her looks and her charm. He was just denying it, because if not he would've been like everyone else, who succumbed to her feminine wiles. 

Her hands perfectly cupped her breasts, as she sat confidently, with her legs crossed on top of Stark Industries blueprints. Her gaze was soft, and seductive, to entice whomever saw the picture. 

_Tech Heiress, Y/N Stark, Bares it all_. It was a few words, but he understood why it was blowing up. They were just the right ones. To make anyone want to take a peek inside for more. 

It felt wrong. To see her that way. She was his boss, and he did not want to see her like that, no matter how good she looked. 

"What do you think?" She asked, sipping on something clear (he wasn't sure if it was alcohol or just water) from a martini glass. "Does it look good?" 

"Uh, yes." 

"Keep that copy then. Maria is gonna send more." 

"I don't-"

"Please, you don't have to open it. It's just a little something to boost my self esteem. I didn't exactly look like this when I was younger." 

"Come on, go take a shower, then let's go out for champagne. My treat." 

"Its 9AM." 

"It's never too early for champagne." 

.... 

The cafe was empty, as Y/N had previously mentioned that they were opening just for her. It was fancy, the kind of place he knew he could never afford, so he was glad he had a new fashionable suit on. It made him feel more at ease, confident, even. 

As they sat down at a table at the back, the waiters brought a bottle of champagne and several dishes. 

After his talk with her the previous night, he felt like a small weight had been lifted off his shoulders. He had expected her to laugh or something. Not to listen as she did. Though he wasn't ready yet to eat a lot in front of anyone, especially women, he knew he couldn't lie in front of her, as she would call out his farce. 

"Feel free to order whatever you want."

"Thanks." He turned to the waiter, and placed his order. "I'll have an eggs benedict and a black coffee." 

"After that, you're going to have a glass of bubbly. Compliments from the restaurant." 

"So, how are you feeling?" 

"Ecstatic. And very exposed. I hadn't thought much of it before I did it. It happened randomly." 

"Congratulations." She raised her eyebrows in surprise. "What?"

"It's just you've never congratulated me. And that was genuine." She smirked, as she took a sip from her glass. "I think you're becoming quite fond of me."

"Don't get too used to it." 

"Fine." Her eyes diverted down to her phone. "I'm checking my wikipedia to see it they have already updated it." 

"Wikipedia?"

"Whenever I'm down I look up my Wikipedia page. It's my thing. And I'm honored I have my own page." 

"You're serious." 

"Yeah, having a page with facts about you is awesome. Though sometimes there are complete bullshit facts about me. But that happens." 

"Such as?" 

"Such as me going out with the lead singer of a certain band. That's inaccurate, especially when I've been with all of them." James choked on his drink, and she started laughing. "Don't worry, they were good guys." 

"Ok, I don't think I needed to hear that." 

"You've see worse though." 

"True." 

  


... 

The morning had ended quickly, as they ate some breakfast at the cafe before getting back to the apartment. It was strange to be so friendly with James especially when her cover had just come out. The cover she wanted to use to pique his interest in her. Which did not work. 

He was probably not into younger women. But it bothered her a little, as she had never been seducing someone. But she was glad he was still working for her. 

She had judged him a little too harshly. 

He was kind, and well mannered. But that was his job. He was hired to be like that. 

As they got into the building, the doorman greeted them courtly, as James walked in front of her, a little to her right side. 

When he stopped in his tracks. As a woman with red hair and a cheap looking blouse, who had been standing there in the lobby turned around. They seemed to recognise each other, as his jaw tightened and nostrils flared. He didn't seem happy to see her.

" _Dolores_." He said monotonously, as she walked towards them. He definitely knew her. Very well. 

Y/N tried to keep her distance, to give them privacy, however couldn't help but eavesdrop (a little). 

"Carol told me you never came home yesterday." 

"Dolores, I'm working right now." 

She watched intently at the redhead talking to him. Her hands on her hips, and a concerned look on her face, as they talked. She recognised the woman from that one old photo James still had in his photo album at home. 

The one she was dressed in white. 

_His ex wife_ . _The shady cunt_. 

Her legs had no control, when they made her walk up to her, glaring at her condescendingly. She had no place there. 

"You are..." 

"Yes, I am." She replied with a smile, as she looked at her right in hers eyes. She had a slappable face indeed. "There's no need for such excitement." 

"You're the one who has been keeping him after hours." 

"I don't know what you define by after hours, I mean he does follow me around to events, night clubs, strip clubs, the occasional orgy... Standard stuff, nothing major." 

Y/N watched as her eyes widened in shock, or disgust. Or both. Either way, it was hilarious. She loved to watch people squirm. Especially assholes like her. 

"We're going to talk about this." She said as she pointed a finger at him 'menacingly', before walking away. She hadn't expected her to back down so quickly, but she was glad she did. She wasn't sure she would've been able to make it without slapping her. 

"Close the door, and thank you!" Y/N beamed, she made sure her sarcasm was noted, before turning around to James. "Well, isn't she charming." 

"I'm sorry if she showed up here." 

"Don't apologise. I've dealt with enough crazy ladies on the Upper East Side, I think I can handle one from an outer borough." 

"I think you had enough crazy for a day. You can go home." 

"Are you sure?" 

"Definitely. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I'm going to have a quiet day in." 

"I'll see you tomorrow then, and actually stay in please. I'll know if you've done anything dangerous or inherently crazy. Have a good day" Just as she thought he was become more cool, he was back to the dad act, though she didn't mind it anymore. 

"You too." 

As she walked towards the elevator, her phone buzzed in her hand. 

She looked down, realising she had never deleted his number. 

  


**_Thor_ **

_You look great on your cover. Hope to see you soon. xx_

  


_…._

As he pulled up in his driveway, he let out a deep sigh. Out of all the days at work, that day was the most stressful. His mother had always told him that loving someone was never easy, and he only understood it then. 

Obviously Dolores was always going to be a part of his life, for as long as Carol was in his. However she did have some nerve showing up at his place of work. He couldn’t help but be a little amused by the way Y/N handled her. He chuckled at himself at the memory, as he opened the door, ready to get out. 

And there it was. Placed on the front seat, Playboy magazine. Even in her absence, she was ever present. Without thinking twice, he reached for it, and got out of the car. 

_He would take just one little peek._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so grateful for everyone who’s reading this, commenting, and leaving kudos. I now have an overall outline of this fic, and I can’t wait to share it with you all. 
> 
> And I also am working on another fic which will come out later on but the one thing I can give away is that it’s filthy, with a sprinkle angst.


	10. Hello, Again

There was no other way to start the day, other than getting out of her door, for a little jog, to finding paparazzi and people waiting for her. It didn't bother her, she waved towards the cameras before she started to walk to the direction of the park. 

Her life was perfect at that moment. Her presence in the media was at an all time high, and everywhere she turned, everybody was talking about it. Whether they hated it or not. She was  _ the _ it girl. Though she had always been, and it was reconfirmed once again. 

She made sure that morning that she looked her absolute best. It was the small price to pay for fame. Not that she wasn’t famous before. As Tony Stark’s eldest illegitimate daughter, she was no stranger to Page Six, or celebrity gossip sites. Every week she’d do something scandalous, and the media would be all over it, like vultures on a carcass. 

It was at times like that in which she longed for a more private life, in which her exploits would be confined to the bedroom, instead of being broadcast to the entire world. 

Nothing had changed, except for the fact that she was on a cover. Naked. She didn’t understand the hype, as she was naked a lot. 

_ “Y/N!” She rolled her eyes as she exited the club, looking forward to the after party when she was greeted by paparazzi. Typical. They followed her everywhere.  _

_ “Is it true your relationship with Peggy Carter is strained?”  _

_ “What happened between you and Peggy?”  _

_ “What do you have to say regarding the rumors surrounding you and Steven Rogers?”  _

_ So it did get out. Damn those society whores. She knew they’d go out and spread the news, it was just she didn’t expect it to get out so soon. As she adjusted the spaghetti straps of her crop top, she tried to ignore the questions as she tried to make her way past them, as Thor did his best to block them.  _

_ “Were you and Steve Rogers having an affair?”  _

_ Steve. Peggy’s husband, who had been calling her incessantly following the news of them fucking around broke out to the Upper East Side society. She had ignored all of his calls.  _

_ She didn’t want to hear what he had to say. She didn’t care. Her father had spent the days after trying to reason with her. As if she had been listening. She didn’t feel anything. Not guilt, or shame.  _

_ Life just went on for her.  _

_ “Did you and Steve have relations behind his wife’s back?”  _

_ In her mind, her actions had no consequences. So she ignored her better judgement, and turned her head towards the paparazzi. She was going to give them exactly what they wanted.  _

_ “Yes, and this is why he did it.” She spoke, as she lifted up her top, revealing her bare breasts to the photographers who were so desperately clicking away. The cool nigh breeze blowing on her nipples, making them hard.  _

_ It would’ve blown up. Probably ruined Peggy and Steve’s relationship even more, in the eyes of the public.  _

_ After all, Steve had used her for her beauty and youth. And high sex drive, and willingness to do anything he asked. And she had used him for sex.  _

_ As Thor covered her figure with his blazer, and proceeded to guide her towards her car, she felt surrounded by questions. Shouted towards her. Flashing paparazzi wasn’t a low point, as she already felt naked and vulnerable before that. Before Steve.  _

_ “You’re going to be on the news tomorrow.” Natasha whispered in her ear once they had got into the backseat. She had forgotten she was there too. “Again.”  _

_ “You still have it?”  _

_ “Yeah, you want some?”  _

_ Y/N just looked at her, and nodded. She was exhausted. She really needed something to keep her up and go on.  _

_ Nat passed her the small glass flask. She promised she would’ve stopped, but as she sprinkled a little on the back of her hand, she knew her promise wasn’t meant to be kept.  _

_ She sighed in relief, after the drug entered her system. It made her feel much better.  _

_ “Are you ok?” Nat asked, as she inched closer to her, her hand put her hair out of the way in order to gain access to her neck.  _

_ “Yeah. I’m fine.” She replied, catching her lips, giving her a passionate kiss.  _

  
  
  
  


As she waited for the light to change to green, she felt someone right beside her. Very much in close proximity, violating her personal space. Though it would’ve bothered her on any other day, she felt like nothing and no one could take this day away from her. 

"Excuse me, can I have a photo?" The person asked,  _ of course, she was a fan _ . She loved her fans. Especially the sweet ones. Not the creepy stalkery ones, which she often encountered. 

A part of her didn't want to deal with a fan from the morning, but the ego driven side of her wanted to get as much praise and admiration from a complete stranger. 

"Sure." As she turned to smile at her to get her phone, her face fell. "You got to be shitting me." 

"Good morning to you too." Carol greeted her, she sure had a flair for the dramatic. Unlike her father. Y/N eyed her from top to bottom, judging her a little. 

"What are you doing here?" 

"If you mean here, here, then I took the subway." She snarked, however her voice took another turn. "Please, I'm desperate for help." 

Y/N had no idea what was happening to her. All she knew was she was being a little too nice as of late. Especially to the Barnes family. 

"Ok, lets just... follow me, but keep a distance at about two meters." She said as shE started strutting, as the light turned green. At least she had an excuse to not work out that morning. She hated it anyway. 

"Oh ok." 

  
  


Once they had sat down at a table in the coffee shop, Y/N realised it was a mistake. As people started photographing her, not so secretly. She felt so out of place, she couldn’t remember when was the last time she stepped foot in a coffee shop. 

"Your father is going to be here soon, so I suggest you scram before he shows up." She said as she sat back. "And I'm gonna give you one minute to present your thesis." 

"I need help because I like someone and I want to ask them out."

"That's it? You came all the way here to talk about boys?" 

"Well... not exactly. She's a girl. So I figured you'd be the expert, I mean you've been with a few models, and Natasha Romanoff, that I know of." 

"Also actresses, professional athletes, Vegas show girls... But I'm not here to talk about myself." 

"Fine I'll help you." She said, as she donned a soft smile. Though she hated kids, she knew she had to help. She remembered when she was her age, and confused about her sexuality. 

"Come on, sitting down at a coffee house is hardly gonna help. We need to strategize elsewhere." 

The tables were finally turning. She was going to be what Natasha had been to her, when she came to the city for the first time. Minus the wild parties and the psychedelic drugs. 

  
  


... 

  
  


“This looks nice…” Carol said as she grabbed a taupe sweater, feeling the fabric, that was until her eyes fell on the price tag. “Yeah never mind, I’m not going to be able to afford anything in here.” 

"This is what this is for." She took out a sleek black card from her wallet. 

"I thought you were grounded." 

"Yeah, but Tony is too lazy of a father to block my credit cards. Which is fine by me." 

“Are you sure you want to do this?” 

“Oh my God, you are exactly like your father aren’t you? Tony always told me to get more involved with charity, you know, for image purposes. He’d be proud to know I’m doing it right now.” 

“Hey.” 

"Here, this must be better than what you're wearing right now." 

"What's wrong with my Stark Industries t-shirt?" 

"Everything. Why would you want to go around in that?" 

"Because. I want to be like Tony Stark one day." 

"Trust me you don't. Everything's just a facade. Kudos to his PR team." 

She didn’t want to talk about Tony. Especially in the morning. She hated to start the day with negative thoughts. 

“So what was my dad doing with your cover?” Carol asked as she looked through a rack of dresses, casually trying to change the subject. 

“What do you mean?”

“I mean it was on his bed…” So James  _ did _ keep her cover, and took it to his room. She liked the sound of that. “Is there something I should know about?”

“No, just keep trying stuff. I’ll go find a jacket or something. Less yakking, the better.” 

…..

Carol had to drag her to the bookstore, much to her dismay. People like her didn’t enter bookstores. She was one of those people who would’ve bought it to turn it into a bar. Strangely, not many people paid her mind. They weren’t the kind of demographic she attracted.  _ Perhaps smart people didn’t care about her. _

“So, who’s the girl?” 

“She’s in my home room. And looks super badass, we’re lab partners this year so I figured this is my chance to make a move.” 

“Well, your effort to make the first move is already admirable. It means you really want it. Be a mystery.” She said as she walked through the classic novels section. “Contrary to popular belief, people are more intrigued by what they don’t know. Don’t take it too far though, and don’t be brooding. You have to be friendly enough that she wants to start a conversation with you, but not too friendly that she starts being creeped out. Are you with me?” 

“Not really… no.” 

“You’re her lab partner, so it should be easier. Try to find a shared interest, even something small, and you start building from there. You’ll probably go to her house or she’ll come to yours for projects. That’s the perfect moment to move in. Or ask her to tutor you for something. That always works.” 

“Has it worked with you?”

“Senior year, with a college girl. Model who walked in New York Fashion Week.” 

“Wow.” 

“Exactly.” 

As Carol walked around feeling more at ease than when she was at the boutique, she grabbed a book, and opened it, her eyes ghosting over the words. She figured it made her look somewhat intellectual in a unknown place like that, and perhaps some attractive person would be intrigued by her. 

Just as she had predicted, she was soon approached by someone. Tall, blond, and Thor. Thor was there in front of her. He looked much more laid back in a pair of jeans and a tight shirt, than his work suit. 

"Did you follow me?" She asked, as she saw the book in his hand. As he was much less a book person than her, and wasn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. 

So it was most likely he had followed her there. 

"We both know you miss me." 

"On the contrary, I've been doing just fine." 

"For some reason i don't believe you're more fine than when I had my head between your legs for a whole afternoon." He breathed into her ear, his mouth dangerously close to her. 

"Thor, we're in public." Her chest heaved, as her mind plagued with dirty thoughts, all of which included him. 

"That never stopped you before did it?" 

As she spotted Carol from the corner of her eye, not knowing how else to get rid of him, she let out a deep sigh, and tried to push him away. 

"Fine, your place, at six." 

"I'll text you the address. I’ll see you then, gorgeous." He smirked, as if he had won. He had, but it was only temporary. 

  
  


……

Her time with Carol was cut short, once James had arrived to the bookstore, confused to why his daughter was there. After his daughter reassured him a couple (dozen) times that she was going to be fine going back home alone, Y/N and James slowly proceeded to walk out of the store. 

“Why was she really here?” He asked her once they got in her town car. Carol was right. Even when grounded, she still maintained her Stark family member benefits. 

“You heard her, beauty tips. Because I’m really  _ that _ beautiful.” 

“She’s my daughter, I know when she’s lying.” 

“Even if she wasn’t, she isn’t doing anything bad. You have my word.” She said sincerely. She would’ve never betrayed Carol’s trust. Not when she had come to her for something like that. “I also need to drop by a guy’s place at six.” 

“So how was my cover? Did it tickle your fancy?” 

“W-What” She heard him stutter. Maybe it was a bigger deal than she imagined it to be. 

“I mean did you look at it?” She asked with a smirk, already knowing the answer, but it was fun to watch him like that. He had never been caught off guard. 

“Uh… I haven’t had the chance to. I had forgotten it in my car.” He said as he composed himself. “So, what’s so great about this guy?” 

Just the fact that he was undeniably blessed with good looks, a chiseled body and a great cock. 

“I don’t know… it just felt weird seeing him again. So I figured I’m just going to fuck him again and then that’s the end of it.” 

“So you’re going to… and you want to get rid of him?”

“Pretty much. Also because I’m horny and he happened to be there.” 

As she heard those words escape her lips, she knew it was a little more than that. After all, Thor hadn’t been only her lover, but also one of her closest confidantes, besides Natasha. Until she fired him. 

“Is that all it takes?”

“Why? Want to take me out for a spin?”

…. 

When six thirty rolled around, she found herself at his door. She had never been the type to be punctual, especially when she realised everyone would wait for her and not get mad about it. 

She knew she looked good. She made sure of that, before she got out of the house. She had borrowed a dress from Natasha’s closet, knowing she wouldn’t have minded. It looked sexy and expensive, and that was all she needed. 

She adjusted her hair before she knocked at his door. Fully knowing what to expect once it was open. 

“Good to see you again gorgeous.” He said enticingly, as a towel clung dangerously low around his waist. Then she was reminded why she couldn’t quit him. That man was chiseled perfection.

She couldn’t help but bite her lip to retain a moan, her chest heaved as she watched the droplets on his chest, his wet hair, and that v line, a trail to what she wanted the most, which disappeared behind the towel. 

“Is this better?” He asked, in a deep voice, letting the white towel fall down to his feet. Revealing his cock, hard and ready for her. “You see that? That’s just for you.” 

“I know it is.” She whispered as she got in his apartment and closed the door behind her. “Get on that couch. You’re going to fuck me hard.” 

“Yes Ms. Stark.” 

… 

  
  


His hand smoothed over her ass, as his cerulean eyes looked at her in utter devotion. He always worshipped her body, inch by inch. There wasn’t a part of her that was left unexplored. 

Her dress was bunched up around her waist, and her panties were brought to his nose. An act, that was completely debaucherous that it made her writhe, longing for his touch, for that thick cock of his to stretch her like it used to. 

He spread her slick along her slit with the tip of his sex, before plunging himself inside of her, groaning engulfed by her slick warmth. 

“I’ve wanted to do this ever since I saw your cover. It made me so hard, I got off for the whole afternoon.”

“That’s a lot of hours.” She gasped, as he bottomed out. “Your copy must be worn out.” 

“Damn right it is.” 

She felt so much pleasure, she felt like she was going to break. His grunting obscenities, her desperate moaning, and the sound of their skin slapping, turned her on even more. 

Out of the corner of her eye, she had noticed the man with bags of groceries dropped at his feet, as he stared at the scene that was unfolding before him. 

"Thor, there's someone watching." She said, as he turned his head, his cock still deep inside of her. 

"Oh, that's my roommate, Peter Quill." His roommate looked dumbfounded, unable to move, nor speak. “You don’t mind do you?”

“Thor, you naughty boy.” 

She pulled the dress over her head and tossed it aside, if she was going to put on a show, it was going to be the best show that Peter Quill has ever witnessed. 

Thor continued to pound into her, his rhythm speeding up, making her feel every inch of him. The pleasure heightened as she felt a strangers eyes on her. His roommate was watching them, enjoying the show as much as she was performing. 

“Harder.” She moaned as she got closer to her climax, spreading her legs further. She could feel it all over, especially when Thor decided to bite down on her nipple. 

"Fuck, do it again." She whimpered, making it was loud enough. "Oh yes, just like that." 

"You're so beautiful, fuck, I'm gonna cum." 

As her orgasm hit, he stilled inside her as she felt her walls being coated with his cum. He stayed inside her for a while, before he pulled out, watching his cum leak out of her. 

“I knew you missed me.” He chuckled as he lightly slapped her ass, as she reached for her panties. “So when should we do this again?”

“I’ll call you.” She said as she shimmied into her undergarments. The truth was she had no intention of doing so. It was nice to catch up with him, but she was the type of person to be stuck in the past. She adjusted her dress, pulling it down to cover her bottom half. 

She got what she wanted that afternoon, so she left. With no intention of seeing him again. 

….. 

“So was it good?” He asked out of the blue, completely out of character, snapping her out of her thoughts. 

“Don’t ask weird questions.” 

As close as they were getting lately, she wasn’t going to talk about the details of her conquests to him. At least they hadn’t grown so close to do so. 

“Trust me, I hate small talk, but you seemed kinda shaken. Was it an ex?” 

“Kind of.”

“Want to talk about it?” Y/N could tell he was making an effort to be friendly, it was a sweet gesture, but she was too tired to talk about it. 

“I’m fine.” 

Her expression changed completely when she realised the car didn’t stop in front of Natasha’s place. It stopped right in front of Stark Tower, much to her dismay. If it was a joke, she wasn’t in the mood for that. 

It had been a while since she had seen her home, ever since the day Tony and her had their discussion. In truth she had missed her bedroom. Her 1200 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets, the strategically placed mirror above her bed, and the infinity pool. Amongst other things. 

"What are we doing here?" 

"To solve things."

  
  



	11. Second Chances

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s): mentions of sex, drug use. 
> 
> PLEASE DO NOT READ IF UNDER 18

“ _What do you mean to solve things_? I’ve been kicked out.” She couldn’t believe it. Just when she started to think he was cool. 

“When you were at the guy’s place, Mr. Stark called me. And asked me to bring you here for dinner.”

“I’m supposed to go in there? I just had sex. Are you insane?" 

She smelled like Thor, his manly musk was all over her, as well as the smell of sex. She certainly couldn’t go in there and have dinner. 

"Hey, I'm just following orders here."

“I am not getting out this car. Until you drive me back to Natasha’s.” 

“We are not driving to Natasha’s. Because you’re going to have a civilized dinner with your family.” 

“I thought you were finally on my side.”

“We are both on the same side, but right now, I need you to follow orders.” 

“Kinky.” Her lips curled into a smirk,and then chuckled. “But no, I don’t think so.” 

“Alright.” He said as he got out of the driver’s seat. She didn’t quite understand what he was doing. 

_Was he going to leave her in the car like that? What kind of a game was he playing?_

That was until she heard the backseat door open, as he pulled her out of the car, still being careful not to hurt her. 

She squealed as he whisked her into his arms and carried her towards Stark Tower. He was stronger than she thought him to be. 

“Let me down. I’m ordering you to put me down.” She shouted as she squirmed, trying to get down, as people who were passing by starting looking, not that she cared. 

She was used to people staring at her. 

“And I’ve decided to not follow your orders, as I’m listening to your father’s.” 

“Seriously, he’s the one who kicked me out, and now he wants dinner?” 

“It’s not my place to comment. I’m just here to work. You know I was a Sergeant. I’m used to whatever you’re doing.” 

“Well then, if this is how things are going to be, I’m going to make this task harder for you.” She said with a smile, after which she proceeded to scream again. 

“I thought we were past this.”

“I thought so too. That was until you decided to go behind my back-“

“I’m saying this again, because I don’t think you understood. Tony Stark, the man who employs me asked me. I can’t disobey a direct order.” 

Somehow as she rested her head on his shoulder, she calmed down a little. She was really close to him. Like she had never been. He smelled like aftershave, like one of those good smelling ones. 

“I’ll stop screaming, if you let me stay this way.” 

“Fine.”

“Unless I’m like really heavy then it’s fine.”

“I’ve done this before. I’m ok. Except my ear, because you’ve damaged that.”

  


….. 

One second, she was screaming at him to let her down like a child, and the next, she was resting her head on his shoulder. She was so close to him, physically. No one had been, since Dot. There wasn’t a person whether it was platonic or romantic that got so close to him. Except for Sam’s wife sometimes who would hug him whenever she saw him. But that was it. 

He couldn’t blame them. He didn’t exactly look like anyone’s dream man. The last date he had was before he started working at Stark Industries, a friend of Sam’s wife. She was nice, pretty even, but it was clear to him that she wasn’t interested in anything more than platonic. 

With his work being his main focus, he barely had time to have a private life. Not that he had one before. 

  


"Ms. Stark." Jarvis greeted her as they both entered the living quarters. He could hear Fleetwood Mac playing in the distance, by the sound of it, he would’ve guessed it was vinyl. 

The Stark living quarters was the most luxurious living room he had ever seen and he was sure it was one of many. There were leather couches, probably just there as a decoration, with an artificial fireplace which didn’t even look like a real one. Along the side, there were a few sculptures placed in a line, all of which followed a similar color palette. 

"Jarvis. Did you miss my presence?" She asked him playfully. 

"Your absence has been noted, especially because it was much quieter, and cleaner." 

"I missed you too." 

“I knew I heard your voice.” An older man approached them, one he recognised as Happy Hogan, head of security at Stark Industries. 

“Happy. You know I’m always happy to see you.” 

“That never gets old.” He smiled at her warmly, as he patted her shoulder. “I’ve seen tv. You’re everywhere.”

“I know the world can’t get enough of me.” She raised both of her arms in the air dramatically, after which she laughed a little. She looked so different when she laughed. It was hard to dislike her. 

He quite understood her broad appeal. As Y/N Stark she was untouchable, part of the one percent, who partied with Hollywood’s elite, despite that, her small isms, made her more real. 

“Well, gentlemen, I’m going to change into something more comfortable, then I’ll be down for dinner.” 

“I’ll tell Ms. Potts that.” 

  
  


“Barnes, right?” Happy asked him, just as Jarvis went away. He had never talked to him, but he knew of him. He had been working for Tony Stark for a long time, so much so he considered him to be part of the family. 

“Yes. It’s a pleasure meeting you, Mr. Hogan.” 

“Pleasure’s all mine. So, you’re Y/N’s new bodyguard.” “How do you like your new job?” 

“It’s certainly better than my old one. We didn’t get thousand dollar suits.” James joked as he looked down at his suit. It was an upgrade from his uniform. 

“How’s Y/N behaving?” 

“Not bad at all.” 

“To me that sounds like good. I’ve known her for a long time. I’ve seen her grow up, I admit she’s not easy to handle. But underneath all that, is a sensitive woman.” He paused. “I’m sure you know that already,” 

“She has opened up a little.” 

“She doesn’t do that with many, she must _really_ like you.”

“I’m just doing my job.” 

“I can see that. I can see you care about her too.” He smiled at him, as if he knew something. Whatever it was, he wasn’t sure, and with that he left him alone, in the middle of the room. 

  


…. 

It had been the first time in a while that she had sat at the table with them. A variety of dishes were presented before them, meticulously arranged on the finest china. Probably it was Pepper’s idea. She always tried hard to be liked by Y/N. 

Not that Y/N disliked her. She always appreciated her stepmother’s attempts, and she had been nothing but nice to her, so she was hard to despise. 

Morgan sat beside her mother, in a composed manner, and yet she didn’t look robotic when she did so. She was effortlessly perfect. Even as a nine year old. And it was obvious she was Tony’s favorite. Anyone could’ve told her that. Especially because she was daughter he had planned with his wife. 

Exactly why she had been given a trust fund. So she wouldn’t complain about finances in the future. 

Pepper was casually dressed, with her strawberry blonde hair let down. Which was different from the usually out together look, but nonetheless, she still managed to look beautiful. 

She couldn’t quite see her as the doting assistant of Tony Stark, as she once was. But it was credible that they started a romance that way. She knew her his reputation well before she knew he was her biological father. 

"I hear congratulations are in order. I heard your cover is a success." Pepper broke the silence. She was too good, Y/N never understood where that energy came from. 

"Thanks Pepper."

"Well, in your absence people have sent a lot of congratulation gifts, a few flowers arrangements which I had set up on your floor if you don't mind." 

"I actually don't. And I appreciate the gesture.” Pepper smiled at her happily, at her response, squeezing her husband’s hand. She could tell her warmth made her genuinely happy. 

“Tony and I were talking about the gala that’s coming up. And we were wondering if you’d like to come too.” She said as if it had been both of their ideas. She knew well Tony hadn’t wondered anything. 

She was willing to give Tony half of the credit at cost of mending things between them. Something she had been doing ever since she stepped foot in the Tower for the first time. 

Tony had been silent the whole time. Probably because if he spoke he would’ve said something he would’ve regretted and Y/N gave him credit for that. They were sitting by each other, probably Pepper’s effort to make things better, which did the complete opposite, as it made things only more awkward for them. Though it wasn’t her fault. 

“This gala is a really important one. I need you to be on your best behavior.” He spoke, not even looking at her. He was clearly disappointed. But she was all too used to that. He had been ever since she started to act upon her own will. As if he was any better at her age. 

“You know I wouldn’t do anything to disappoint you, _father_.” 

…. 

As half an hour went by, he saw her walk out of the room. In probably what was calmest version of her he had ever seen. Which was a little unusual. He followed behind her, without asking any questions. After all, he was still her employee. 

“Let’s take the car, I trust you with the Rolls Royce.” She said as she entered the garage, containing a collection, so it seemed, of expensive sports cars, and others, including vintage ones. 

“The what-“ 

There it was, the shiniest car he had ever seen. Silver, and sleek, it was a beauty. He and always fantasized about owning one, as a child. 

“Betsy. I call her that. She was a gift when I first came here. I never learnt how to drive her though.” She threw him the keys and he caught them in his hands in time. 

Once he got in, he felt like he was in a dream. Everything was better than what he had seen in movies. The front seats were divided from the back seats by a glass partition, the seats were a rich cream color, and details on the door were of a reddish brown. 

“Where do you want me to take you?” He asked, as he looked back at her from the rear view mirror. She was clearly bothered by something. He could tell. 

He saw her exit the car and walk away. Around the car. Until the front seat door opened, and she stepped right in. 

“I don’t think you should be sitting here.” 

“I make the rules, can you just drive me around? Please?” 

He nodded, without saying anything and turned on the ignition. And they drove out of the Tower into the night. 

“Are you ok?” He asked her after a while, hating the silence that had taken place. 

“I am, I just have so much going through my head.” She mumbled as she rested her head against the window. “Tony wouldn’t even look at me. I don’t understand why he asked me over for dinner if he wouldn’t even look at me, not even speak to me. I’m just tired.”

“Of what.” 

“Resenting him. He makes it so hard though. He left me even before I was born. Left me with my mother.” 

She had never mentioned her mother. As he could see in that moment, it was a matter she found hard talking about. He wanted her to be able to talk about it, as Happy had told him previously, she didn’t talk to a lot of people about things that bothered her. 

“It’s said that mothers would do anything for their child. Mine didn’t even want me. So my grandmother raised me, and she was a good mother. For a great part of my childhood I’d call her ma, because to me, she was my mother. I loved her more than anything.” 

He took a glance at her for one second, and saw the pain in her eyes. A pain that was there before, whenever she spoke about her father, the same pain that was there whenever she got drunk or high. But this time, it looked a little different. 

It was unadulterated pain, one she had been stifling for a long time. 

“Until she died when I was in middle school, then I went back to my biological mother. I think she grew to resent me because I reminded her of what she had lost. And when she died, I came here. And since then, another person who doesn’t want me has to raise me.” 

There were no tears from her. But he knew she was hurting. 

It all made sense. Everything made perfect sense. 

“Don’t say that.” 

“It’s the truth. I don’t fit in here James. No matter what my last name is, or what I own, doesn’t change the fact that I’ll always be an outsider. He has a family. The picture perfect family I dreamt of as a kid.”

  
  


“I told something about me, now you tell me something.” He heard her voice a little brighter than before. It was scary how fast she changed, especially at the thought of how many times she had to do so. 

“I stress ate a lot. Especially the months leading up to Carol’s birth. I had so much going through my mind, I just let myself go.” 

He paused. He didn’t know whether he wanted her to know everything, but she has been so candid about herself to him. He wanted her to see him too. 

“If only I had known what would’ve happened. I could see Dot starting to look at me differently. She told me I had changed. It was Carol’s sixth birthday. And there was leftover cake. I ate it all.” 

He wasn’t going to mention it to Y/N but the divorce had completely broke him. As he often revisited every single happy memory he had of Dot when they were in love with each other. He wondered if it had all been lie. 

“At some point I really did believe Dot was the one I’d spend the rest of my life with. I would’ve done anything for her. I wonder where that love went.”

“Towards Carol. She’s a pretty amazing kid you know that right?” 

“Yeah, I’m pretty lucky to have her.” 

…. 

“Want me to make you feel a little better of yourself?” 

“You already told a story.”

“We’re getting to know each other here. Besides this is a little more tame than the _mother stuff_. It won’t get as depressing, I promise.” 

“Ok, go on.” 

"I missed out on normal teenage experiences, like be part of a squad or go to prom. But I always wanted to. I was too wrapped up pretending to be an adult, I never got to be a teenager." 

  


_She woke up struggling to get up, as her whole body was sore. She turned to her side, in order to understand where she was. A woman she didn’t recognise slept soundly beside her, she was completely bare, except for the crystal choker that adorned her beautiful dark skin._

_She felt a man’s morning wood press against her ass, she didn’t want to turn around, as she didn’t have the strength to do so. It wasn’t the first time she woke up in somebody else’s bed, not remembering how she got there. Or where she was._

_Her fishnet tights were shredded to smithereens, through there wasn’t much to them in the first place, and left in a corner. There wasn’t much to the room, other than a desk, a mirror and a bed. It was a hotel room. It had to be. And not a luxurious one either._

_When she finally did get up, she saw Natasha passed out on the carpeted floor, with her dress hiked up to her waist, her hair disheveled in a way that covered half of her face, with a man’s arm draped over her waist._

_She remembered absolutely nothing from the night before- prom night. Especially after drinking at a bar, and getting high in the car afterwards. As she approached Natasha’s body, she recognised the man laying beside her. Clint Barton._

_He was one of those guys with a pristine record, both at school, and outside. As far as knew, he was still with Laura. His girlfriend, since middle school. She figured he’d give her anything she wanted if it meant salvaging his reputation and relationship. She knew exactly what would happen to him if a word of the night before got out. Good guys like him didn’t do drugs, and certainly did not hang out with girls like Natasha and her._

_She reached for her phone and she couldn’t control what she did next. Clint now owed her._

_The was the first time she panicked. The bottle on the nightstand had unintelligible writing on it’s label, which meant they were not near home at all._

“For what’s worth, you’re a good father.” She said out of the blue, as she leaned in towards him. She really meant it. Carol from what she had seen, was a very independent girl, and something in her knew she was going to be ok. 

“Thanks. Also thank you for taking care of her today. Whatever you two did. She truly seemed like she had a great time. Who knew you were good with teenagers.” 

“I know, I surprised myself. If you tell anyone, I’ll deny it, but I did have fun today James.” 

"Call me Bucky." 

"You have a nickname now. I like it. It's cute." A grin appeared on her face. "Didn't know we were getting so close." 

"We are now."

They exchanged a smile. Things had definitely changed. 

  


….. 

The next day, Y/N went back to Natasha’s to gather her things. With the remainder of having the long awaited ‘talk’ with her. No matter how many times she practiced in her brain, she knew when the moment came, she wouldn’t have been able to say it. 

But James was right, she needed to be honest. 

The penthouse apartment was silent, no sign of Natasha’s return, except for her Miu Miu mules at the door. She _was_ home.

She headed towards the guest room, which had become her room, and started packing things she had there. If she was going to do it properly, she had to keep her distance from Natasha. But not too much. After all, she cherished their friendship more than anything else. 

As she gathered her things, she heard someone enter her room. 

“Natasha. How are you?” Her hair was still wet, her body wrapped in a fluffy robe, even without makeup, she looked absolutely stunning. 

She was instantly reminded of James’ words. She had to talk to her. 

“Exhausted. But not that much. We can still have celebratory sex.” 

She said casually, it had become part of their routine. And Y/N really did enjoy her company, more than anybody else’s. But she needed to clear things up between them. She wasn’t just any other person. She was her best friend, and she didn’t want to lead her on. 

“Listen… Nat. I-“ 

She was cut short by her slowly exposing her shoulders, as she bit her lip. Natasha didn’t have to get naked, to look alluring. She pulled off sexy really well. 

“What were you saying?”

“I don’t remember.” She figured the talk could wait. It was just sex. 

“Good. Now let me congratulate you for your cover. You’re a big hit in LA too.”

And she did give her a very warm congratulations indeed, one that lasted a whole four hours (with cocktail breaks included). 

…...

She had to find an excuse to go out, she needed air and some time alone. So she hadn’t been successful. Maybe Natasha didn’t even like her as James, Bucky, had suggested. It was most likely a misunderstanding. 

As she walked around, she had the sinking feeling that someone was following her. She wasn’t wrong. A car stopped right beside her, as she turned around, her eyes rolled to the back of her head, as it revealed the person who was following her. 

None other than Thor. 

He was incredibly predictable. 

She knew Thor’s intentions weren’t bad, they never were. But just like her, he craved attention, but he seeked for it in the most annoying way possible.

“I knew you were following me. Would you knock it off already? I gave you one last lay. What else do you want from me?” She felt bad snapping at him, but she had to, he wouldn’t have understood her frustration otherwise. 

“Dinner.”

“I don’t do that. I’m sorry.”

“Just one dinner, then I’ll be out of your way.”

“No more following me around town ok? Because this is getting creepy, no matter how hot you are.” 

“Get in.” 

At least she would've gotten her mind off of things for a night. And she made a promise to herself, to not fall in his bed another time. Though she wasn’t so sure she could’ve kept her promise when the time came. 

  
  
  
  
  



	12. Endless Possibilities

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is one I’ve been planning for a while, and I’m so happy to share it! 
> 
> The song Y/N is singing in this chapter is ‘Both Sides Now’ by Joni Mitchell. 
> 
> Warning(s): smut, fluff

_“Notorious Party Girl Y/N Stark, has been linked to her former bodyguard Thor Odinson. According to sources, they have been going out for a while. They were seen having a romantic at Babbo_.” Natasha read the headline outloud from her phone as she paced up and down of Y/N's bedroom. 

“Romantic? More like he forced me into his car. Is this what they call journalism these days?" She scowled. She hated petty news. Especially when they made no sense. "And who is this ‘source’? Probably someone who doesn’t know jackshit about me, but is getting paid to perpetuate bullshit like this.” 

For years since she was seventeen she had been careful with who she was photographed with. She made sure she was photographed with the best of the best, every day, with a different person. And every day since, everyone had been lining up hoping to once get the chance to get with her. 

“People actually like you with him. You going out with a working man really does make you relatable.” 

“Thor’s not any working man, he’s _Thor_. He worked as an Abercrombie model.” 

“I can’t go out with him again. He gets clingy. And you know my rule.”

“You don’t date.” Nat said as she rolled her eyes. She had heard that more than once. 

“Not only that. I’ve already had my fair share of Thor. And besides the sex, there’s not much else to him.” 

"This combined with the release of your cover can be huge." She said as Y/N sat up on the bed. "Take the opportunity. Think about the press." 

"I hate how you're right. I could take him to the charity gala. It's the perfect place for us to be seen." 

"I like the way you think." 

  


_The headboard banged against the thin wall, as Thor powerfully thrusted in her. It was certainly a way to end the evening, considering the awfully silent dinner. They had made their way to a cheap hotel room, a place she knew nobody would’ve suspected she was there._

_She should have guessed she would've ended in his bed, from when they rode the taxi to his place, his fingers deep inside her as she tried to stifle her gasps, to avoid being caught by the driver. It was all taboo, and dirty, it got her in the right mood._

_Her leg was on his shoulder, his cock stretching her just right, as he slammed into her in a hard and brutal pace. She didn't hold back. Her screams were loud, and they were probably heard from the next room. She didn't care. All she had in mind that moment was her._

_He sucked on her collarbone, as he fondled her breast with one hand, grunting, as he sought his release._

_"No... marks." She managed to say in between moans, as he kept hitting her g spot with each thrust._

_He had always been rough with her, in the bedroom only as out of it he was pretty sweet, often leaving her sore for days. She liked feeling him even after they had sex, until his absence was replaced by another cock._

_She screamed in delight as an orgasm hit her hard, making her back arch against the bed. Thor fucked her through her release, until he bucked his hips, coming inside the condom._

  


She took her phone out and called him. That time, she swore on herself that she wouldn't have slept with him. Not even for old times sake. 

....... 

  


One thing she hated more than weddings were charity galas. Had more to do with the pomp and circumstance than actually caring for whatever cause they were supporting. It was just an excuse for New York's elite, to spend a little more on their looks to look perfect. 

She wouldn't have gone, if it wasn't for the fact that she had promised Pepper, and had someone to take. 

Earlier that day, quite a large package had been delivered to Stark Tower for her. It was a dress, in the most intense shade of red she had ever seen. A royal red. Her favorite. 

It must have been a gift from someone she knew well, as they knew exactly the kind of dress she liked. Inside, it had a note: ' _For tonight. Can't wait to see you in it. xx_ ' 

It couldn't have been Thor, as much modelling he had done on the side, would've been too much for him. Someone with money, and influence. 

As her hand came in contact with the fabric, she shuddered at the realization of who sent her such a beautiful gown. She wasn't sure, but she had a hunch that she was definitely going to see him that night. 

....... 

Bucky stood outside of her room, as per usual. That day, unlike any other, he had taken the effort in choosing the best suit, and taking a little more time in his appearance. He didn't care about those things usually, but since it was her first night back into a cutthroat society, he wanted to do it well. 

He had put on the cologne Carol had gotten him for his birthday the previous year, but i moderation. The last thing he wanted to do was to embarrass her. 

"Looking sharp dad." He remembered Carol say as she sat on the couch watching Netflix. 

He had to admit it had been a while since he had worn something so fancy, the last time being his wedding, and the suit was rented. 

"Y/N. You still have five minutes, after which we should be heading down." 

"One second!" She said loudly from inside her room, as he heard her run around. She was probably still not ready. 

  


“I haven’t worn anything like this in ages. And it kinda makes me look bloated, so don’t judge.” She said from behind the closed door, she sounded nervous. Which was unusual, because she was never like that. 

“I would never.” 

As she came out, he was completely entranced. He always knew she was beautiful, but he couldn’t have been more sure of it then. 

There was a soft glow to her gaze, with her lips painted in red which provided contrast. Her hair was let down in waves, framing her face which complimented it. 

His mouth went dry, unable to think about something to say, as he felt sweat gathering on the palms of his hands. In his head, she had always appeared as some spoiled brat. But in that moment, he saw nothing but a beautiful young woman. 

_Fuck, Barnes, say something. Anything. It's been too long since you've said anything. It's becoming weird._

“Wow.” He said, as he composed himself. _God, Bucky, she's your boss and a kid. What the fuck is wrong with you?_ "I mean... you look really beautiful." 

"I know." She replied with a cheeky smiled as she adjusted his tie. "I like your tie." 

"You got it for me." 

"I have great taste then. Shall we?" She asked, before she walked out of the room, and he followed. 

He didn't like her. He did, but as a person. She had grown to be a likeable person. 

_It's probably the suit_ . _The suit is making you sweat, nothing else._

He wasn't supposed to. It made no sense to him. 

"Are you coming _Bucky_ ?" She asked as she got into the backseat of her stretch limo, patting the leather seat beside her, all with an all knowing smirk. _It couldn't be_. 

"I'm supposed to drive." 

"I have a driver. You come in the back." It almost sounded like a demand, so he nodded, and got in the backseat with her. It felt strange, sitting there in the back with her. 

  


......... 

She breathed in and out, as the got closer to the venue, paparazzi already clicking away outside as the car stopped. She had no idea why she was so nervous, she stayed still for a while, as she needed a little time to gather strength to go inside. 

The last time she had seen all of those people was before she was basically banished from attending events like that, probably due to the fact she was more than often high or drunk, or a 'healthy' combination of both. Also because she had slept with Steve, whom she hadn't seen in a while. Mostly because she avoided the places she knew she'd run into him. 

“What’s wrong?” Bucky asked her, he saw there was something wrong. 

“I don’t know. I’m a little nervous. Last time I’ve been to these, I was high.” She asked as she looked down at her ensemble, her cleavage was well visible. At least she looked good. 

“Well I’m proud of you. You’re gonna knock ‘em dead.” He said as he opened his side of the door, as she heard the clicking and the commotion outside get louder, until he closed the door then they became muffled again. 

She counted to three, and James opened her door, lending her a hand to get out. 

She immediately painted a smile on her lips as she got out, letting the photographers take as many pictures of her. It somehow comforted her to know James, Bucky, was there to protect her if anything happened. 

....... 

"Hey gorgeous." A blond gentleman came up to her and gave her a quick peck on her cheek. At the beginning of the evening, he felt good about himself as he got ready. The suit he was wearing was one of the ones Y/N had gotten him from Hugo Boss. 

But as soon as he saw him, the tall, handsome, blond man, he all at a sudden felt inadequate. 

_You're the bodyguard, you're not here as an invitee._

"Thor. I'm pleased to see you." 

Thor. He knew he had seen his face before. Y/N's former bodyguard. The one before her. The one she had allegedly slept with. Who was he kidding? Of course they had slept together. 

"You invited me gorgeous. If you wanted an encore of the other night, you didn't have to invite me to such an event." He said as he whispered in her ear. 

"Thor, this is Buc- James. My bodyguard. James, this is Thor. An old friend."

"Pleasure." He said quickly before turning around to her again. "Friend? I don't think what we've done is very 'friendly'." 

He didn't know why, but he somehow did not like him. Maybe his arrogance, or the way he talked so crudely to her. He had grown quite protective of her, especially after listening to what she had endured in the past. 

He followed them, until they started walking the red carpet, his hand on the small of her back as he guided her. 

The reaction they caused was immense, the photographers started clicking away at them, as they posed together, Thor's arms around her waist. Everyone went wild as she smiled at him, and he leaned into her to whisper something, making her giggle, before photogenically posing again. 

There was something about Thor he couldn't trust. He had a feeling in his gut, and usually it was right. 

............

  


She knew she wasn’t welcome. She felt everyone’s eyes burning into her, whether it was of the society women who glared at her in disdain, or their husband’s lingering gazes, wondering whether she’d also sleep with them, as she did with Steve. 

Everybody knew. And nobody was high fiving her for it. 

To make matters worse, Thor had scurried off somewhere else, leaving her alone in a sea of people who hated her. 

"You look delicious." Loki came from behind and surprised her, by kissing her cheek. 

"I think you mean fabulous." 

She giggled, as she took another sip of the champagne. She hadn't seen him in a while, not with everything that happened since the last time they saw each other. 

"I know exactly what I meant." 

"So I see you brought that huge idiot." He raised his eyebrow at Thor, who was working his way around the room. 

"Loki, be kind." 

She couldn't help but stifle a laugh. Loki never had liked Thor that much, often fighting for her attention with him. 

"You could've brought me. We would've been a match made in _fake_ heaven." 

"Wait a minute. You know." 

"Of course. I know you don't partake in relationships, you're meant to be free. Also, Natasha told me it was her idea. I kinda wanted in on your plan." 

"Well, now I don't have a choice but to let you in, do I?"  


"No. Also, did you manage to seduce the ordinary boring guy? Did he fall for your charms? Was he a better lay than I was?" 

"I realised he isn't as bad as I thought he was. I thought I'd spare him." 

"Y/N Stark sparing someone? I thought I'd never see the day." 

"If it ever gets out, I know who won't get any from me ever again." 

"You're so cruel. I love it." He winked at her, just as she turned her head the other way, she saw him. 

Clad in a classic black suit, which was tight in all the right spots, was a clean shaven Steven Rogers, with Peggy Carter beside him. Of course she was there too. 

He looked different without a beard. Though she preferred him with one, he still looked handsome. 

His eyes landed on her, and his face softened. She didn't know how he could still do that. Look at her like that, especially in front of everyone who mattered and could have destroyed his life, if he wasn't careful enough. 

"I'd gladly let him raw me." Loki commented as his eyes never left Steve. She looked everywhere. Where the fuck was Thor? He was supposed to be there as her 'date', not wandering around by himself. "Is he as big as I think he is?" 

  


_“Were you making eyes at me out there?” He asked her, as he hastily unbuckled his belt, pushing his pants down. It was so strange seeing him like that. A man, well respected by pretty much everyone, with his pants around his ankles at a luncheon, organised by his own wife._

_“Maybe.”_

_"You knew exactly what you were doing... trying to entice me in front of my wife, your parents... Is this the outcome you wanted?"_

_"Yes, daddy."_

_"Tell me, what do you want?"_

_"I want your cock, in my mouth."_

_"Such a good girl." He groaned, as he tilted his head backwards, his eyes shut closed as she wrapped her hand around the base. His eyes reopened when he felt her tongue at his tip. His hands instinctively grabbing her hair in a ponytail and guiding her mouth._

_It wasn’t like she enjoyed it. It was a lot of work, but just to see such a well put together man putty in her hands turned her on._

_"Ugh princess, keep looking at me like that and I'm gonna blow my load right now."_

_Her fingers worked at her clit as he fucked her mouth roughly, nearly making her choke around it. Tears started pricking her eyes, as she looked at Steve, so much in ecstasy it seemed like he wasn’t in control of his actions anymore._

_He kept grunting something inaudible to her, as his thrusts became stuttered, finally releasing himself inside her mouth, some of it dribbled down her chin._

  


For the remainder of the night, she made sure she always had a champagne flute in hand. If she was going to handle being in the same space as both her ex lovers (if she could even call them that because it wasn't like there was any love between them). Bucky, or James, was always beside her, watching her back as per usual.

Loki had retired early, and Natasha was entertaining some family friends from Russia. She felt lonely, in such a big room. She didn't want to go towards her family either. She'd hate to be the one who hung out around her parents at an event of such grandeur. 

She wasn't completely alone, James was right beside her, making sure she was safe. And that was how she felt safe. 

“Are you alright? You look like you need some air.” He said as she walked towards the waiter carrying the savoury tartlets. She picked up a few, as she deemed it was irresponsible to drink with an empty stomach. 

“Kind of, would you escort me?”

She asked, stuffing a tartlet in her mouth as she carried two more in her hand. 

“Of course, that’s why I’m here.” 

....... 

As they entered an empty room with a few couches, she headed for the window, and opened it wide. And she stayed there, looking into the city. So he joined her. Everything looked small from where they were. It almost looked different from above. 

“Where’s Thor?” He asked her as he turned his head towards her. 

“I don’t know, probably networking to worm his way into the modelling business. He already got two job offers since the release of our pictures.” 

There was absolute silence after that. But somehow it didn’t feel uncomfortable. He felt it again. The clammy hands and flushed cheeks. Especially when she looked at him. Not with disdain in her eyes, as when they had first met, but with a genuine warmth. 

“I’ve slept with Steve. Steve Rogers.” She said out of the blue. He didn’t know why she had said it, probably to get it out of her chest. He was glad she felt like she could open up to him. 

“You mean Margaret Carter’s husband?” 

“Yes. I just needed to avoid him. If we’re seen together again it will cause further scandal, we didn't officially end things, but it was kinda implied when his wife made a huge scene at the ballet. I don't think I'm allowed to go there anymore.” 

“So that’s what happened.” 

“Why?”

“Because I saw Peggy Carter’s face, and she looked like she was ready to tackle you.” He chuckled to himself. “I would have laughed if I wasn’t on duty.” 

His chuckle stopped when her hand was on his head, caressing it lightly. And there it was. That weird feeling again. 

“You look good like this.” She said as her fingers fixed his hair gently. “You do clean up well.” 

"It's the suit. Thank you by the way. I love it." 

"My pleasure." She handed him the salmon tartlet she held in the palm of her hand with a napkin. “Here, have this. I suppose you're hungry."

As he reached for it, and she recoiled, he realised she wanted to feed him herself. As much as he wanted to take her somewhere else to get her a glass of water to get her a little more sober, he couldn't refuse her. 

He gently bit the end of the tarlet that was between her fingers so that his mouth wouldn't touch her. She giggled, as he did so. This was a tipsy side of Y/N he hadn't seen before. Paired with the gorgeous dress, it gave a whole new light to her. 

"You won't leave me like everyone else, right? Not you. I need you." She told him, her eyes almost staring into his soul. He didn’t know if she was joking or not. 

"I won't." 

"Do you promise?" She wasn’t joking. _So maybe she was drunk?_

"Yes. I promise I won't leave." 

There was another of those silent moment, but their gazes were locked. All he could hear in that moment was his heart beating ever so loudly, it was the only thing he could focus on. He had no idea what was happening. 

Thankfully he heard the door open, and he took a step back. He realized he was way too close to her. They both turned towards the door, where Happy appeared. 

"Y/N, it's time to leave. The car‘s ready to take you home." He said, as he looked at both of them. 

"Thank you, Happy." She said as she walked towards him, and looked back at him, her dress fluttered with each step she took. 

…… 

Everything seemed to go back to normal, once they had returned to Stark Tower, as if nothing had changed. Why should they have changed? They were perfect just the way they were. Though she did look otherworldly that night, that was that. Anyone would’ve thought the same, he wouldn’t have been the only one. 

He stood outside her bedroom door, as she got ready for bed, she left her door half open. He couldn’t wait to go home and sleep. He was exhausted by the amount of walking he did that day, in leather shoes nonetheless. Not the most comfortable of shoes. 

As he thought about home, he heard it. 

“ _Rows and flows of angel hair and ice cream castles in the air…_ ” She sung in such a beautiful voice, her voice was soft, and yet sounded so powerful. As if she was singing for him. He knew it wasn’t, but it seemed that way. 

He wondered how often she sung like that, it was so beautiful he wanted to tell her. He could almost see her, through the semi open door. Her makeup was entirely removed, as she discarded her necklace somewhere, he imagined inside her jewelry box. 

James turned around, as he didn’t want to disrupt such an intimate moment she was having with herself. But he stayed there, outside her door, captivated by every note she sung. Each word laced with melodic melancholy, as he couldn’t help but recall how beautiful she looked that night in that red gown. 

Not just that night, she somehow managed to retain that youthful beauty all throughout her outbursts, her sad confessions and hysterical moments. 

“ _I looked at life from both sides now_.” 

There were small moments all throughout the night in which he saw her smile at him. He could have been mistaken, but she seemed happier. Maybe Thor was good for her. He must have been, if he made her glow like that. 

He couldn't help but think about their moment alone that night. He couldn't deny the moment when it became dead silent around him, and he could hear the beating of his heart so loudly in his ears. 

_She was drunk, Bucky_. Drunk people really did absurd things, because there was no way she would've ever said what she had said if she were sober. He kind of knew her, and he knew there was no way someone like her would say those things to someone like him. 

It was one of those good nights, but it was coming to an end. 

  


“Mr. Barnes.” His thoughts were interrupted by Jarvis, who was there with a tray with a glass of water and some lemons. "I've come to bring Ms. Stark's water, as per her request." 

“She's inside." He said, as he felt his face flush. _What the fuck is happening Barnes?_ He still could hear her singing the chorus. 

“You can go home, Mr. Barnes. I’ll look after her.” He said before knocking softly on the door. 

He didn’t know what happened, but he discovered two new things that day. Y/N had a beautiful voice, and even more beautiful eyes. 


	13. Dream a Little Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s): smut

“I need you Bucky.” She gasped, as her red dress fell to the floor, leaving her in nothing but her lingerie, leaving not much to the imagination. 

His lips hovered over hers, barely touching, her breasts heaving. Her hand was soft against his cheek and caressed him slowly, with their eyes locking. 

She pulled back teasingly, as she made her way towards the couch, and when she sat down, she made sure her legs were parted enough to entice him. It was working. The way the lace covered her core made him go insane. He couldn’t stop himself from taking slow strides towards her, he was nervous. She was so beautiful, and she wanted him. 

She was radiant, and the way she presented herself to him was erotic. She gave him a smirk once he was in front of him, in between her legs. 

Her hand slowly travelling from his leg, up to the bulge that had formed in his pants. His lips parted as she started palming him. 

“I know you want me, it’s ok to admit it.” She said ever so seductively. “I want you too.” 

He didn’t respond. All he wanted to say was that he wanted her. He wanted her in a way he had never wanted anyone else. He wanted to feel her, to make her feel. He was completely entranced by her. 

He came down, his body now hovering hers, he feared that she’d be bothered by his weight being so close to her. But she didn’t seem to see that. She saw him. The real him. Her leg was now wrapped around his waist, as she pulled him down towards her lips by tugging on his tie. 

“ _ Y/N… _ ” 

“Y/N…” 

“Dad!” He heard loud knocking at the door, which abruptly woke him up. “You need to sign a permission slip you told me yesterday you’d it this morning.” 

“ _ Shit _ .” 

He had no time to process what had just happened due to the continuous knocking at his door. Though he wanted to open the door he had something else that prevented him from doing so. The tent that was pitching inside his boxer briefs. 

“ _ Fuck, fuck, fuck _ .” He cursed, as it wasn’t the time to have such a predicament. Especially when his daughter was outside his door. 

“Dad? Are you ok?” 

“Yes, I just stubbed my toe… I’m bleeding. I’m going to be fine.” 

“You’re bleeding? Can I come in?”

“Wait! No! You don’t want to see this.” He lied as he tried to cover it with something, without any result. “I’m going to deal with this. Just slip the permission slip underneath the door and I’ll sign it.” 

“Are you going to be ok?”

“Yes, it’s not bleeding that much.” 

He stumbled as he reached for the pen on his nightstand which sat on top of a newspaper. He couldn’t believe he was going through much trouble for a boner. 

As she slipped it under the door, he quickly scribbled a legible signature before slipping it back to her. 

“Here.” 

“Thank you. I’ll go to school now.” 

“Have a nice day.”

“Thanks. You too. And be careful with your feet.”

  
  


If only the problem was a stubbed toe, that would’ve been much easier to handle. 

He stepped inside his shower as hot water came from above his head, he started to think about his dream again. The dream he had. Of  _ her _ . It had to be his subconscious reaction to her red dress, and their conversation they had the night of the gala, or maybe it was her voice. As there was no way he saw her that way. 

His dream appeared to be so vivid. It was almost like he could feel her, as if it had really happened.  _ Did he see her like that?  _ She was more covered than he had seen her in the time he had been working for her, and yet he felt like he was invading her privacy by seeing her like that. 

_ Why are you making it a bigger deal than it has to be? _ He asked himself as he lathered his body with soap. 

He knew it was a dream. Even in his dream it felt like a dream. It wouldn’t have never happened in real life. A woman like her would’ve never gone for a man like him. Not even out of pity. Besides, she had Thor. 

….. 

Her birthday, an yearly event that was bigger than the Oscars After Parties to which everyone who knew her eagerly waited for an invitation, was just around the corner. They had always been extravagant, and lavish, and something insane always took place, whether it was planned or not. 

She somehow had to top the parties she had in Vegas and in middle of the ocean, but she also knew she had to invite less people if she wanted to keep it more exclusive. She couldn’t have a repeat of the year before. 

_ “Happy Birthday Y/N!” Everybody cheered as fireworks went off above them. It was the perfect night. She raised a glass to everyone, taking a sip, holding Natasha close to her.  _

_ It had to be her best birthday yet. The Virginia (as her father had named it), had sailed from Monaco, all the way to Portofino, in the Italian riviera. Everyone who was someone was on that boat. Though it cold outside, the copious amount of alcohol that was on the boat was enough to keep everybody warm.  _

_ As the music blasted from the speakers, as she started jumping up and down, with her glass still in hand. Grinding on Natasha, giving everyone a show. It was a little more than obvious that she was sleeping with her. Not that she ever wanted to hide it.  _

_ It was a sight to see. Adults acting like teenagers, doing body shots on the deck, and some, high as kites doing whatever drug they could find on board. It was like a zoo, people acting without any control, absolute chaos. The only half sober person on there had to be Thor, who had to be lucid for his job, but as for everyone else, she couldn't say the same.  _

_ She wasn't either.  _

_ "I gotta give you your present afterwards." Natasha whispered into her ear as they danced together.  _

_ "Why do I have the feeling I'm going to enjoy it?"  _

_ "You are." She smiled as she cheekily lifted her dress for one second. She might as well have worn nothing, as she was wearing crotchless panties. "Happy Birthday beautiful." Nat mewled as she bit her ear, making her gasp.  _

_ That was the moment she stopped dancing and grabbed her hand, leading her inside the boat, but as she did, her eyes stopped on Loki and Thor, who were both nearby. Loki had a glass in hand, as he talked to someone, and Thor just stood still, as it was his job to do so.  _

_ “You, you….” She said, as she pointed at both of them. And then she saw the girl who was just walking by. Gorgeous, with chestnut eyes. A beauty. She had to have her. Just for that night. It was her birthday after all. “And you. Follow me.”  _

_ A smirk appeared on the girl's lips as she followed her, and Natasha, with Thor and Loki behind.  _

  
  


_ Her mind was unfocused, as she felt herself transported to a realm of pleasure. Thor’s tongue was deep inside her folds, as she rode his face slowly, trying to build her climax. Natasha’s lips were wrapped around Thor’s cock, leaving red marks on it from her lipstick. The other girl, moving in beside her, taking turns to suck him off, sometimes pausing to kiss each other in a messy, and sloppy manner.  _

_ Loki was standing up, as he quite patiently waited with his hard member beside her face as she moaned in pleasure. She decided she didn’t want to leave him out on the fun, so she grabbed the base of his sex and started blowing him. He was longer, less thick than Thor’s, but it was still enough to make her scream whenever she rode it.  _

_ Each time the girls made Thor grunt, his tongue vibrating inside her pussy, in turn making her moan loudly around Loki making him throw his head back in pleasure. It was an endless chain of pleasure, exactly what she wanted for her birthday.  _

_ Just as she was about to come, a loud banging and screams came from outside her door. She tried to ignore it, but the banging only got louder, as did the indecipherable screams. She sighed in annoyance, as she released Loki’s cock from her mouth with a pop and climbed off of Thor’s face, and reached for a silk robe wrapping it around her body.  _

_ She could barely walk straight, as her legs were still shaking. She opened the door aggressively and glared at the girl who was at her door.  _

_ “What the fuck is happening?”  _

_ “Someone jumped off board, and now they’re unconscious. In the water.” She said, completely panicking, on the verge of tears. She seemed to be really spooked, and that was when she realised it was serious.  _

_ “What happened?” Thor asked, as he pulled his boxers back on, his beard was slick with her juices.  _

_ “Someone’s unconscious in the water.”  _

_ “Fucking hell-“ He muttered as he rushed out of the room, shirtless, still smelling like sex. Y/N followed him outside, as she saw everyone on the side of the boat, looking into the water, but no one jumping in.  _

_ She gasped when she saw Thor dive into the water without any second thoughts. Everything after that happened in a flash. The party ended with the coastal guards stopping the party from getting any crazier, even getting banned from there. So much for an unforgettable birthday.  _

  
  


“You look sick. You want a glass of scotch?” She asked as she opened the door and took one look at him. He looked like he had seen a ghost. He looked so nervous. 

“N-no thanks.” Bucky said as he coughed and walked into her living area, and sat himself on the couch. 

“Make yourself comfortable. I was just planning my birthday.” 

“Your birthday?”

“It’s just around the corner. I want it to be perfect. Like every year.” The memory of her last birthday had put another idea in her mind. One that could’ve possibly worked, and that would’ve still kept the hype. 

Tony’s island. He had bought an island in the Pacific as a gift to himself and had used it only twice. She remembered the beach from the one time she had been there. It looked like one of those Windows desktop screensavers. 

“I’m having a small get together for my birthday, on Tony’s private island. You should come.” She said as she walked to the liquor cabinet to pour herself a glass. “I mean I’m going to need security from those backstabbing bitches I call friends.” 

Somehow she wanted him there. She didn't know whether it was to protect her from harm's way (as she was pretty sure one of her so called friends would’ve pushed her down a flight of stairs or something ala  _ Showgirls _ ), or to have someone to talk to during her birthday, but she knew she wanted him there. 

She could almost see them. Sipping margaritas on the beach as they looked into the sunset. 

“I don’t think that constitutes as a ‘small get together’. That’s what you call game night, not a party on a private island.” 

“Yeah I have no idea what that is.” She scoffed,  _ God, she must’ve sounded really conceited _ . “Will you come?” She asked, as she pouted and gave him puppy dog eyes. 

“I don’t know, I have a daughter.. so I should make sure she’s ok with me going.” 

She wondered why he was so hesitant. She thought regular people would’ve jumped at the chance of going on a free luxury trip to a private island. She knew she would’ve loved that chance when she was still poor, living with her mother and not a Stark. 

“Ok, whatever you say  _ Bucky _ .” 

Turning around, she noticed something vibrating under a magazine on the coffee table. As Bucky picked up the magazine in question, she spotted a phone. Which belonged to none of them, as none of them would’ve had a Britney ringtone. She recognised it. 

_ It was Natasha’s _ . She must’ve left it from the time she had visited. 

"Hello?" She knew it was wrong to answer, as did Bucky who mouthed ‘what are you doing?’ to her. She just wanted to tell the person to call Nat back when she had her phone, but as the other person spoke, her feelings changed. 

"Hello, Ms. Romanoff, this is Angie Martinelli from Page Six, we wanted to confirm your bank account information."

_ Page Six paying Natasha? _ It was very suspicious. 

"I will have that sent, I was quite high when I sold you the story. What was it about?" Y/N did her best to imitate Nat’s voice, and by the amount of the time they spent together, it wasn’t that hard. 

"Y/N Stark and her former bodyguard Thor Odinson. That was our biggest photo yet, and the confirmation that the two are indeed dating." 

So it was Natasha. The bullshit source was her. She wondered why she had done that. It wasn't like they were in a bad place. They weren't. In fact they were more than good. She had no idea why she would do something like that. 

  
  


Her brain didn’t stop her from walking out of the room, into the elevator, Bucky trying to follow behind, but failing. She was going at her own pace. All she was concerned about were answers. Why would Natasha do such a thing?

She watched as Bucky ran after her even after she got into the taxi. She wondered whether confronting her was a good idea. But it was too late, she was on her way to Nat’s. 

  
  
  


She knocked loudly on the door, hurting her knuckles as she did so. After a few, the door clicked open, and there was Natasha. Looking beautiful as ever, though that wasn’t the point of her visit, for once. 

“Natasha, you better not lie to me. Did you do this.” She asked directly as she put her phone right in her face. The open tab was an article on Page Six as well as photos of her and Thor leaving  _ Babbo _ .

“Yes.” She sighed as she looked at her apologetically. “But you know I’d do anything for you. You know that right?”

“I know. But next time tell me about these things.” She had another question ready, one she wanted to ask for a long time. And one that would’ve cleared things up for good. "How long though?" 

"How long what?" 

"How long have you been fucking him? Thor, I mean." 

"Ever since you fired him. I didn't think there would be a problem." 

"There isn't, I just figured, since you're wearing his shirt and your room smells like him. He has a distinct musk. I'd know, because I've fucked him for longer." It had made sense. Which was why she had taken the pictures. She didn’t know the exact reason, but she assumed it must’ve been because she was taken by both of them. "I'm not even going to ask why you concocted this little plan, but never again."

"I'm sorry. I didn't think you'd be against it." 

"I don't like being lied to." 

"I'm really sorry." She said as she cupped her cheek. "Does it help to know he's still obsessed with you?"

"Not really. You have fun with him." Y/N said as she pecked her cheek, and left. "I'll see you soon." 

…...

That evening, at home, Bucky sat alone in his kitchen, not knowing what to do. He was confused. About everything. Especially his dream. He had no idea what that meant. Whether he wanted her physically or just his emotions got the best of him that tense night. 

Even if he was to go, he had no idea what to give her. Y/N had everything, so he has no idea what to give someone who already had everything they could possibly want. Besides he knew he couldn’t have afforded the things she would’ve actually wanted. As he was about to text her, declining her offer, his daughter walked in the kitchen. 

“How’s your toe?” She asked casually as she opened the fridge. A light pink tint covered his cheeks, he had completely forgotten about his ‘toe’ situation. 

“Uhm… it's fine now. Would you be fine if I went away for the weekend?”

“Absolutely, yes. It would be amazing. Not only for me, but for you too. You never take time for yourself. You should totally do that.” 

“If I did, you must never have parties here. I’ll know if you have.”

“Dad… are you serious? If you left me alone for the weekend I would probably be wrapped in a blanket like a human burrito and binge watch the new Netflix series.”

“Ok I’ll think about it.” He said, but he was lying, to himself and to Y/N. He had barely said two words to her that day, and he knew why. That dream was bothering him more than he liked to admit. And if that day was awkward, he couldn’t imagine a whole weekend with her on a remote island in the Pacific. He wouldn’t have had anywhere to hide. 

  
  


…...

He got everything out. It was unlike him, but he needed someone to listen to him, and Sam was the perfect candidate. He told him everything that happened from the island trip offer to his dream, except some (steamy) details but most of it. Sam sat there in front of him, and listened, sometimes smiling, other times not, he didn’t know what he was thinking.  _ Did he think it was stupid? Or was he smiling because he thought he was pathetic? Or worse, both? _

“Sam I’m serious. I need help.” He said as he finished his story, and he started laughing. So loudly the other patrons at the bar eyed him down subtly telling him to shut up. 

“You need help because you had sex in your dream? I’m telling you. You need to get laid.” 

“We didn’t have sex.” Maybe they would’ve if he hadn’t been woken up by Carol’s loud knocks. But he didn’t want to think about that.

“You should put yourself out there, so you’d be having real life hookups, and not imaginary ones.” 

“Come on, I don’t know if I should even go to the island thing. You should be the voice of reason.” 

“Then I’m a very fucked up version of it. And as for the island thing? I mean why would you even turn it down? It’s a free vacation with the woman you had a dream sex with.” He said as he chuckled at the last part, stifling his laughter by drinking from his beer bottle. 

“Will you stop?” 

“Never.” 

  
  


….. 

_ ‘I talked to Carol, thanks for the offer I’m coming.’  _ She read as she was about to head to bed. She smiled at herself, satisfied with his answer. 

“Jarvis, get another helicopter ready.” She said with a tight lipped smile as she saw Jarvis walk by her. “Bucky, Mr. Barnes, is joining me for my birthday.”

“I’ll do that.” He nodded deeply, and continued. “Mr. Barnes seems to be good for you. He’s a good influence.” 

“He is, isn’t he?” She had come to enjoy Bucky’s company, especially after she had told him a lot of stuff, she hadn’t told most people. Not even Natasha. She felt safe with him, something she hadn’t felt in a while. “I thought so too.”

“You like him, don’t you?” 

"He's decent I guess."

"I mean, you like him. I've seen the way you look at him." 

"There's no particular way I look at him. He's my most trusted employee. There's nothing else. If anything it's a look of admiration. I admire his skills, and dedication. To both his job, and his family."

"Whatever you say, Ms. Stark."

"You know I'm right Jarvis. I always am." 

But was she? For fine she wasn’t sure of what she was saying. But of course she was, it was impossible to think that she saw Bucky, as anything more than a friend, and a trusted employee. 

  
  
  



	14. Make a Wish

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m so excited for everyone to read this chapter as I had it planned for a long time. Though I wanted to edit it more, I wanted to put it out as soon as possible. I have spent so many nights writing and planning this chapter, so I hope it came out half way decent.

He sat on the beach, as he stared into the sea, it was breathtaking. Blue, and crystalline. He knew Carol would’ve done anything to see it too. The hours it had taken for them to get there seemed to be worth it. Just to feel the sun felt warm on his skin. 

The aptly named _La Isla Bonita._ Y/N had explained him on their helicopter ride from Hawaii to there that Tony had called it that as an homage to his friend, Madonna. 

Under much insistence by her part, he had changed into swim trunks and a thin cotton shirt kindly provided by her. 

…..

_The day before..._

_“So who’s invited to your birthday?”_

_“Nat, Loki… the usual people. I wanted something casual and low key.”_

_“I don’t think an island constitutes as casual or low key… but you’re rich, so what would I know?”_

_“Here…” He said as he handed her a well wrapped present. “It’s nothing, really.”_

_“Ja-Bucky… you didn’t have to.” She said as she clutched it against her chest. It was such a sweet thought, and unexpected. Others would’ve bought her something from her registry or given her sex. But he wasn’t like other people she knew._

_She peeled off the wrapping paper, to reveal a hard cover notebook, with bold letters on the front cover that spelled:_

_‘For Great Ideas’._

_She didn’t remember if she had told him about her aspirations. But even if she hadn’t, it was like he knew her well. It was such a thoughtful gift, she could help but beam up, while clutching the notebook to her chest._

…….

_For a split second, he had forgotten about the other invitees, who arrived on different helicopters (as Y/N didn’t want to be disturbed). It felt like it was just the two of them. He saw how her face beamed when she opened the present, he had hoped she liked it. He had tried to hard to find something that would be approved for an employee to give to his boss._

_He had even asked Carol for help, and surprisingly she was very insightful. If he were confronted, he would never admit it, but he had spent days looking for the perfect gift, even looking her up online. Which was not a good idea, as he had spent a lot of time looking at the pictures when he typed in her name._

_Many of them were of her walking out of events, some others were of her with other people, and one stuck in his mind. It was a picture of Natasha and her, on a trip to Barcelona, the link took him to Natasha’s Instagram. But he wasn’t there to look at her._

_It was strange to see her in the media, it was as if she had curated a whole different persona, from what he had seen the past couple of weeks. She had been nothing but open about her past, her fears, which humanized her._

_As he set foot on the beach, he immediately felt his shoes fill with sand, not that he was complaining. The sight before him was jaw dropping. The heat immediately started making him sweat, making him regret wearing a suit to an island. But after all, he was still on duty._

_The sand had a light beige color, nothing like any of the beaches he had grown accustomed to. The water of the ocean managed to look sparkly, as he walked by it, he could see small fish swimming in it._

_To his right, there were palm trees, and he could see the house from where he was standing. It was entirely made of glass, and over the top, not that he expected anything else from an island belonging to Tony Stark._

_As he turned around to look for Y/N he spotted her, just as she was taking off her shirt, revealing her tiny bikini top underneath. He looked the other way, as he didn’t want to invade her privacy. He didn’t want to see anything that would remind him of the dream he had days ago._

_As if that wasn’t enough, his mind went back to the time he opened the magazine she had given him, that he had intended to discard. But he didn’t._

_He kept it._

_But he justified his action, by telling himself it would’ve been a waste of paper. And he had done nothing bad by just taking a peek._

_“Bucky! Come on!” She beckoned him to come closer, as he tried to run on the sand, his shoes made impossible to do so._

_There was someone else beside her, he reminded him of Jarvis, just a little younger, dressed from head to toe in white but still with the perfectly parted hair, who held several bags in his hands._

_“Here, you’re going to need clothes to wear.” She said as she pointed at the many bags. He read the big names on the shopping bags. Prada, Tom Ford, Saint Laurent, Givenchy…_

_It was all too much._

_“But I brought mine.” He tried to object. He didn’t want her giving him gifts._

_“Just accept the clothes, Bucky.”_

_“Thank you, but you didn’t have to. It’s your birthday.”_

_“I like being a fairy godmother. Or a sugar momma. Whatever floats your boat.” His eyes widened at her comment. “Celebratory margaritas!” She exclaimed as another staff member brought her a tray with colorful drinks._

_“What should we toast to?” He asked, after he had grabbed his glass. At that moment, he almost didn’t feel like her bodyguard. Especially after he had been catapulted into her world._

_“To a beautiful peaceful weekend.” She said as their glasses clinked. “Come on, I’m going to show you where you’ll be staying. It’s gorgeous.”_

_She turned around and he nearly spilled his margarita all over himself. He recovered from coughing very loudly from almost being choking on the drink. The bottom part of her bikini barely covered her behind, though it wasn’t a thong._

_“Brazilian cut.” She interrupted his thoughts, almost as if she was able to read them. “I prefer them to regular briefs. Don’t you?”_

  
  


_The guesthouse was a cabana house, with a ceiling fan and a queen size bed in the middle. On the corner, was a small table with a bowl of fruit and a mini fridge. It was just by the beach, and he could already envision himself falling asleep to the sound of waves._

_Just as he started looking around, but was immediately interrupted by someone waltzing in and jumping on Y/N._

_Natasha._

_….._

_“I’m so happy to spend the weekend with you. It’s going to be amazing.” Natasha said as she started to kiss her without prior warning. “Oh, hi James.”_

_She watched as Bucky gave her a small awkward wave, as Nat looked at her quizzically. She needed to distract her, before she started asking why she had brought her bodyguard whom she wasn’t sleeping with to the island._

_She couldn’t have told her that she genuinely enjoyed his company and needed someone who kept her grounded, she wouldn’t have understood._

_“I just dropped in to say hi. I’m going to the house and hitting the steam room. I’ll see you later.” She said as she gave her one last peck on her lips as she headed out._

_And just like that, she was gone. Ever since she had discovered Nat and Thor, Natasha had been more agreeable. Not that she wasn’t usually, but it was strange. It was almost like she was trying to keep their friendship afloat, as she had deemed it to be a betrayal by her part._

_She couldn’t have cared less about the two of them. It wasn’t like she was attached to Thor in any way, and as for Natasha, she was just her best friend._

_And he was the last person her mind went to on La Isla Bonita (which was weird for her to call it such as it was already a real island in Belize)._

_And as her guests started to arrive, from the star studded guests she usually hung out with, to the more familiar ones like Loki, who never lacked from his cheeky comments._

_It would’ve been hard to believe, but she didn’t like gatherings. The reason why she always seemed to tolerate them was because she was high, or drunk. Or a ‘healthy’ combination of both. Which was why she had closed off the beach to guests, to soak the sun in silence, with Bucky by her side. Probably the one person she didn’t mind spending time with sober._

_She had to admit, he looked good in his Prada shirt and Givenchy shorts, as he laid back on his chair. She picked them herself, not that she would’ve ever told him. He looked almost dateable._

_As she laid under the sun, all her problems seemed to be a distant memory. She forgot about all of her issues, from her father and the other disapproving people on her life, to the acquiescent company she had acquired._

_She was proud of herself, for the small amount of drugs she had taken lately. It was partly because of of Bucky. He was nice to her, honest, something no one had been since she stepped into the city. But most importantly he listened. And for once she felt a burden lift from her chest._

_She was grateful. She decided nothing was going to get in the way of a nice weekend. A weekend she had established was going to be drama free and chill. Something she wished she hadn’t thought about once she heard a familiar voice._

_“Hey sugar.” She froze. She recognised it immediately, even though she hadn’t heard it in over a year and a half. It belonged to one of those people one could never forget, no matter how hard they tried or how much time had passed._

_Y/N turned around with her head held high, as she dramatically took off her sunglasses and placed them on her head._

_There she was, chewing gum rather loudly, with a smug smirk on her face. She managed to look even better than she did the last time they crossed paths. She wore a loose fitting tank top which definitely revealed her side boob, and slightly discolored denim shorts._

_Several bracelets adorned her wrists, as well as a visible tattoo on her forearm, one which she recalled tracing her finger over while flirting with her at some bar after one of her concerts._

_“Val.” Val. She had known her for less time than she had known Loki, but she had grown quite fond of her._

_As she was a rockstar and seldomly stayed in one city for more than a day before hitting the road again. Which meant she never stayed over for the night. It had worked for the both of them._

_“Y/N Stark. You look good.”_

_“I didn’t think I would’ve seen you here.” She said with a closed lipped smile, Val enjoyed her reaction. Y/N could tell. She could read her like an open book. She bit her lip as she took out a pack of Marlboro Reds from her back pocket. “This is a non smoking island. I hate the smell.”_

_“I recall you liked it. Amongst other things.” She snickered followed by a wink, as she put away the cigarette._

_She was right. She did. Val had always encouraged her craziest side to unleash, leading to some nights she wasn’t too proud of (though at the time she used to be)._

_“Well, time has passed. I’m different now.”_

_“Ok birthday girl. Whatever you say.”_

  
  


….

“Still can’t believe you invited Val.” She said as she held a glass of something in her hand, not bothering to consume it. 

She didn’t know when the beach party started, as she did not care, though it was her birthday. People there didn’t seem to think it was her birthday, they never did. 

Thought they seemed to be having fun, dancing to music provided by a DJ Natasha had invited, and some others even decided it was a good idea to go for a swim. It was sunset, which meant the water had an orange reflection to it, and a breeze started to move her hair. 

“I thought you would’ve liked her being here. She looks hot.” 

Val was in the water, spinning some model around as she giggled loudly. 

“Who are we still waiting for again? I want to go inside and get the party started.” 

“We’re here!” She heard two voices from the opposite side of the beach, she had enough of dramatic entrances for the weekend. 

Wanda, and Pietro Maximoff. 

Of course they were there as well.

She wore a colorful kaftan dress, it was weird seeing her so dressed, as she had previously seen her in a flattering red leather ensemble which left not much to the imagination, while holding a paddle (not for rowing). In that one long afternoon, she had learnt a lot of new things about Wanda as about herself too. 

Being on an island, sober, with a lot of people she had slept with wasn't such a great idea. She grabbed another cocktail as Natasha directed everyone to get inside for the main event. She needed at least a little alcohol in her system to endure what she anticipated to be a party she wouldn’t forget. Either for good reasons, or bad. 

“Can we talk?” Val approached her just as she was about to head inside, letting go of the model who was attached to her hip since the day before. 

“I hope you had fun on the island.” She said, as an icebreaker. She didn’t know they needed one. 

“I’m sorry for Vegas. I shouldn’t have left you there.” Vegas, the reason why they hadn’t kept touch for a while. “Tied to the bed, blindfolded, and naked, in a completely trashed suite.” 

She remembered that all too vividly, as the effects of the drugs and alcohol she had taken mere hours before had dissipated, leaving her with a bad headache, unable to call out for help, as her mouth was quite occupied, being stuffed by a pretty big ball gag. 

“It’s ok. I think the cleaning staff was forever traumatized, but apart from that, I’m fine. I also appreciated that girl you sent over afterwards. The groupie? The one with a name that normally ends with a ‘y’ but ended with an ‘i’?” 

“Yeah… her. She as good, wasn’t she? Did she do the thing with her-“

“Oh yeah.” She smiled, as she candidly remembered that night. “She also brought a friend. Completely worth being tied to a bed in Vegas, and paying over a million in damages.” 

Maybe her ex lovers being there wasn’t going to be such a big problem after all. 

…..

She reached for the liquor, the strongest one. She decided she wasn’t going to consult Bucky. Not in a state of emergency, she was stuck on an island, with people she couldn’t stand and people she had fucked and fucked over. 

So she rolled her eyes when she felt someone’s presence beside her. 

“What do you want?” 

“You.” Loki replied with charm. He had always been charming, which was a dangerously paired with that alluring accent of his. 

“I kinda saw that coming, but thank you.” 

“Where’s that hulking idiot? I thought he was supposed to be your faux beau.” 

“I left him on the mainland. Plus, Nat is screwing him, and I kinda wanted her all to myself.” 

Which was the truth. She didn’t want Thor at her party, as he was never a friend of hers. They had been lovers, but that was about it. Nothing more, nothing less. 

It wasn’t like in Nat and Loki’s case, with whom she was both friends with. 

“Nat and Thor?” He asked surprised, raising his eyebrow. 

“Yeah.”

“Now that I say it out loud, it does make a lot of sense.”

“Why?”

“They’re both good looking, and they’re both obsessed with you.” Obsessed. Did also Loki think Nat liked her, like Bucky did?

“But who isn't?”

“Good point.” He probably didn’t mean it that way. 

“So, who is getting lucky with you tonight? It’s tradition, isn’t it?” 

She knew what he was talking about. She always celebrated the end of her birthday with some celebratory sex. It had become almost a ritual, ever since she had come to New York. And usually it was something that would’ve been talked about for weeks after in the tabloids. 

  
  


Y/N stared into the over the top candles on her cake, the chanting around her becoming more muffled as time passed. Though she was surrounded by people, she couldn’t have felt any lonelier. 

“Make a wish!” 

She knew it was complete bull shit, as her wishes never came true. Not once. Especially when she used to be poor, so she had learnt to keep her mind completely blank. But not that year. She wished to be happy. Truly happy. 

Her eyes scanned the room, in an attempt to spot Bucky. She wanted him to be there, for some reason. Out of everyone there, she wanted Bucky Barnes to be there when she blew out her candles. 

He was there, at a distance, but he still gave her a warm smile, which in turn made her feel warm inside. 

Everyone cheered as she blew out the candles, her eyes shifting back to Bucky who joined in on the clapping as well. 

For a second, she felt loved, and cared for. 

Until she was brought back to reality. She knew that the people there who enjoyed her hospitality didn’t care if she sunk or swam. None of them would’ve given her the time of day if she weren’t Tony Stark’s daughter. 

“I’ll let you do anything want to me tonight. Everything’s on the table.” Natasha sultrily whispered in her ear. So she chose her. It wouldn’t have made a difference to her, if it were someone else, but out of everyone, Natasha was the most devoted to making her happy.

And that was what she cared about in that moment. To feel happy. 

  
  


As she entered the room, a waft of rose water welcomed her. The lights were completely turned off, though the several candles that were lit up around the room was enough to light the entire room, giving it a mellow atmosphere.

Rose petals were scattered on the bedspread beautifully. Whoever did it, must have put a lot of thought into it. 

“Happy Birthday, Y/N.” Natasha said as she drew her towards herself, leaning in for a kiss, which Y/N gladly accepted. 

She pulled back, as she reached for the bottle of champagne on the circular glass table. Desperately seeking pleasure from other sources as well. 

“You got champagne. Imported from France. I didn’t think they delivered here.” 

“They don’t. I had a plane chartered for it.”

“This is so sweet.” 

It was the least opportune moment for Bucky’s words to come back to her. _Maybe Natasha had feelings for her. If they were just best friends with benefits the whole room wouldn’t have looked like it came out of a romantic comedy._

“Bucky, James, said the weirdest thing the time you were in L.A. He said you were in love with me or something.” She said, as she laughed a little, trying to keep the conversation light hearted. 

There was an awkward silence between them. Y/N hadn’t realized it was awkward until it had been a whole minute they hadn’t said anything to each other. 

“He’s right, Y/N. I am.” _Fuck. Shit._

“How?”

“What do you mean how? Have you met you? How could I not be. You’re confident, beautiful, fiercely independent.” 

But she wasn’t. Not all the time at least. She hid it all too well. Truth was the times she felt confident on the outside, inside was a whole other story. She wished she could be the woman Natasha was describing. She had fallen in love with a version of herself she pretended to be.

“Don’t say that. I don’t deserve it.” She shook her head. "I don't love you in the way you deserve to be loved. I can’t keep sleeping with you, if I’m leading you on.” 

She shook her head, still with a slight smile on her face, an expression belonging to a woman who couldn’t give up just yet. 

“I didn’t expect you to love me back. You’re like me. Scared of commitment, of feelings, we like to be alone, but we have each other. Even if it’s just platonic.” 

She turned away, because everything that came out of her mouth was the truth. Y/N was scared of commitment. It wasn’t a secret. She surrounded herself with the most beautiful people that existed so she wouldn’t feel lonely. But she was alone. 

Alone, like Natasha had just said. And no amount of money, a private island, or a copious amount of drugs would’ve ever changed that. 

  
  


….

He still couldn’t believe he was on an island, it was a one in a lifetime experience, he wouldn’t have gotten if it weren’t for Y/N. 

_Y/N._

He couldn’t help but think about the first time they had met. She had a clear expression of disgust on her, and so much resentment. He knew the last part wasn’t directed at him, but the first part was. 

She didn’t look at him like that, there was no disgust, in fact they had become friendly. 

He pulled on a sweatshirt over his undershirt, as he started to feel a little chilly. The clothes he was wearing were the only things he had worn that weekend that weren’t expensive, and that already belonged to him. 

“Hey dad. How’s the island?” He had missed her, even though it was only a day and a half since he had last seen her. As they had been inseparable ever since she was born. 

Sometimes he hated the fact that she was growing up so fast. 

“It’s gorgeous. I sent you the pictures. You’re behaving right?”

“Of course. I spent last night at mom’s, and Uncle Sam suggested I spend the night at his house, but the babies, I care about my ‘beauty’ sleep. So I insisted to stay home alone for the last day. I had a lot of fun. You should be jealous.” 

“I am.”

“What exciting things have you done?” 

He thought about it for a while. “Nothing.” 

“What do you mean nothing? You’re on a private island.” 

“I’m also on duty, Carol.” 

“Whatever you say. Maybe it’s not too late to enjoy your trip.”

“It’s getting late, Carol. I'm going to sleep” 

“I was just saying.” She shrugged and then waved. “Alright, have a good night dad.” 

After she hung up, he placed his phone on his nightstand to charge but before he could plug it sounds of someone’s footsteps stopped him. 

He jumped a little at the sound of loud knocking, he wasn’t expecting anybody, but maybe Y/N was in trouble. As he opened it, he saw her. Drenched head to toe, dripping in water. Her hair was wet, and flat, and she was still in her swimwear which clung to her skin tightly. She stood there barefoot, 

“I went for a swim in the ocean to clear my head, but turns out being out there in the water in the dark is really scary, I need drugs but I don’t think I’m the right headspace to do them right now.”

“What’s wrong?” He asked as he let her in. She paced up and down his room, and then stopped to breathe. 

"I told Nat." She whimpered, he could tell she was upset. "I told her I didn't have feelings for her. I've done this before, but this time was so hard." 

“You want to talk about it?” 

She shook her head, as she wrapped her arms around herself to provide herself some heat. 

Before he knew it, he pulled his sweatshirt above his head, and handed it over to her. The breeze caressing his bare arms, usually he would’ve been self conscious about a beautiful woman seeing him in nothing but his undershirt, but in that moment his mind was elsewhere. 

“Thank you.” She mumbled, as she put it on her. It was big on her, it looked more like a dress on her than a regular sweatshirt, but she looked cute in it. “Can I have a hug?” 

He didn’t hesitate, before he wrapped his arms around her. Her body was smaller than his, and without his sweatshirt, he felt a little self conscious. He wondered if she had noticed his stomach. 

She wasn't blind, of course she had. 

It was an unusual feeling. To feel her body pressed up against his. He blushed at the feeling of her breasts against his body. Her hair smelled like salt water, and mangoes. 

As they both pulled away from the embrace, though he didn’t want to. He weirdly missed the little warmth her body provided.

Her hands held onto his upper arms, their bodies still pressed against each other. Their faces, so near he could see the intensity of her eyes, and the light coat of mascara on her eyelashes and the small residue of it beneath her eyes. Her lips, which were red that afternoon,had a faded color, which had turned a little more pinkish than before. 

Nevertheless, she looked beautiful. The feelings he had pushed down since the charity gala were bubbling to the surface, his heartbeat accelerating as she stared into his eyes. 

Their bodies were so close to each other. 

He wondered whether she was examining his face too. He always liked his eyes but that was about it. He hated how much weight he had gained on his face as well, as if gaining weight on his body wasn’t enough. 

But she didn’t look at him with pity. 

In that moment, it wasn’t Tony Stark’s daughter, or his boss that stood in front of him, but Y/N, a very beautiful woman he couldn’t stop thinking about. 

His thoughts weren't rational, they were crazy and when he caught her lips on his, he wasn't thinking. 

However a relief washed over him for just a split second. Until he realized what he was doing. Y/N. Was his boss. And she was vulnerable. He was taking advantage of that. So he pulled away slowly, and analyzed her face. 

She wasn’t upset. There was no smile on her lips nor a frown, so he couldn’t read her expression. But she was definitely not upset. He didn’t know what to think or what to say. 

"Bucky..." She whispered so close to him, as she looked at him. He didn't know how he denied it for so long. But the moonlight made her look even more beautiful than she already was. Before he could apologize profusely, when she pulled him back in. 

  
  
  
  
  
  



	15. Beyond Reason

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 15 is finally here! I hope you enjoy it, I love you all. 
> 
> Warning: SMUT (cunnilingus, vaginal sex, unprotected sex)

_ Half an hour before...  _

_ Y/N ran onto the beach, breathing heavily once she had stopped. Turned out the person who would’ve created drama that weekend was herself. She needed to get away from the house, but as she was now stuck on an island in the Pacific, escaping wasn’t an option.  _

_ Running with heels on sand wasn’t the best idea she had that weekend, but at the moment she had more pressing matters. She didn’t know if Natasha wanted to be friends with her after that episode. She seemed upset, but what she had said, was true.  _

_ She was scared of commitment, to get attached to someone again. She couldn’t let anyone hold so much power over her. The power to hurt her, and discard her when they were done.  _

_ Even under the moonlight, the water still sparkled, and while consumed by her thoughts, it looked very inviting. It called to her. So she slipped out of her dress, leaving her in her bikini, and ran in the water, making it splash around her.  _

_ She cursed to herself as her body was engulfed in cold water, realising it wasn’t her best idea. Though the ice cold water made her forget just for a second what she had done.  _

_ She had told Natasha. Bucky was right. She had feelings for her. She couldn’t lose her. Natasha was her oldest friend. Her best friend. And she had hurt her.  _

_ What a way to end a birthday.  _

_ It wasn’t the ending she had planned at all. She thought she’d be in a warm bed, next to her body. If only she had not opened her mouth. She should have waited. At least until they got back home. But she knew deep inside she would’ve never done it. She often ignored issues instead of confronting them head on.  _

_ Deep within her thoughts, she didn’t realise how scary being in the sea in the dark could be, so she decided it was best to leave her thinking when she was on dry land.  _

_ Once she was back on the beach, the sand sticking to her feet, she came to the realization that she had nowhere to go. She couldn’t go back into the house, not with Natasha inside. Even though it being a big house, she couldn’t risk seeing her.  _

_ With nowhere else to go, she knocked at the door of the guest house.  _

  
  


When she had showed up a mere minutes prior, she had no idea she’d end up with her lips locked to his. 

She threw the sweatshirt towards the small table in the corner though she did not check if it had fallen on top of it, as she was too busy taking off her soaked bikini top. Revealing her breasts to him. The cold water of the sea had made them hard, and he couldn’t take his eyes away from them. 

All at a sudden, her confidence seemed to lower, usually she would’ve wasted no time, but Bucky knew her all too well. Maybe a little too much. 

But she was now curious, now that she had tasted his lips, she found herself wanting more. She knew she wasn’t supposed to, as he was her employee, and they had grown to become friends of sorts. However she was known to want what she couldn’t have. 

As his gaze fell on her, she slowly shimmied off her Brazilian cut bottoms, leaving her completely bare, whereas he was still fully clothed. Minus the sweatshirt. 

He looked nervous. She knew he was. She had to show him how much she wanted him. 

She inched closer to him, as she got closer, she could hear how heavy his breath was. She pulled him down for another kiss. Somehow she had come to miss the feeling of them on hers. 

She wanted him. In that moment, there was nothing more she wanted than Bucky Barnes. 

Her desire went beyond reason, but she didn’t care. 

As she kissed him hungrily, she smiled once she felt him reciprocate. Her hands went immediately went to the bottom of his undershirt and tried to lift it over his head, and he aided her. 

She fell back on the bed, pulling him back with her, one leg of hers wrapped around his waist. She hadn’t felt anyone else’s lips but Natasha’s on hers. Especially with such fervor. He knew how to kiss. 

She usually hated kisses. But she didn’t mind his, in fact it was something she could see herself getting addicted to. 

Especially with those soft lips of his. It was another thing she did not expect of him. But she was glad she had discovered. 

  
  


His hands felt tougher than she had imagined against her skin, while one caressed her face, she guided the other on her thigh. After which he seemed to have gotten the message and caressed her thigh with his fingers. 

  
  


…..

She tasted like salt water. He wasn’t letting his own doubts and fears get in the way of the moment. He liked it. He liked the way she felt beneath him, naked. 

He wanted it. More than he liked to admit. He had thought of it. His instincts made him want to touch himself while thinking about her for a while, but he had always went against them. 

His hand caressed her cheek as he looked deep into her eyes. She was his. For that moment. It felt like it.

He wanted to believe that at least for that night. Since he had finally come to terms with it. There was nothing more than her that he wanted. And now he had her.

And he wasn’t going to hide it anymore. 

  
  


His pants came instantly off as he carelessly threw them behind him, leaving him in nothing but his boxer briefs. Whereas she was still underneath him, her breasts heaved with every heavy breath she took. He couldn’t stop himself from thinking about how he had such an unattainable and beautiful woman in bed with him. Looking at him as anyone would’ve wanted to be looked at by her. 

She was Y/N Stark. His boss. He wasn’t supposed to think of her that way. He could’ve gotten fired. 

But in that moment, none of that mattered. He nearly forgot how a woman’s gentle touch felt. 

“Touch me Bucky.” She moaned, as she looked at him through half lidded eyes. “ _ I want you _ .” 

She wanted him. No one since his ex wanted him. 

Her legs parted for him, revealing her sex. He swore his heart could’ve stopped at any moment then. 

_ She had such a pretty pussy _ . It glistened with her juices, she was wet for him. 

“ _ Oh… Bucky _ ” She moaned, coaxing him as his finger made contact with her sensitive clit. 

His fingers collected her slickness, as he explored her sex, trying to figure out what she truly wanted. Now that he had heard her say his name out loud, with her head thrown back in pleasure, he wanted to see it again. He wanted her to say his name. 

It made it more real than it felt. He was afraid he was going to wake up at any second, in bed alone. 

With his wet fingers, he rubbed her clit in circles, keeping a constant pressure on the area which made her let out soft moans. 

He teased her entrance with his fingers, making her buck her hips. She wanted more. 

“I want you inside of me.” She moaned as she reached down to touch her clit, missing the friction on it. The sight of her touching herself made him harder than he already was. 

He needed to be inside of her. But he wasn’t sure he would’ve lasted long. He hadn’t slept with anyone in a long time, and he didn’t want to disappoint her. 

But there she was, with her legs open for him, inviting him inside of her. 

His briefs came of with ease, as his cock slapped against his stomach, and he swore he heard her gasp. 

As much as he wanted to wait a little longer, to not seem too desperate, he couldn’t. He was desperate for her touch. He needed to be inside of her. He dragged his cock up and down his slit, before slowly pushing inside of her. 

“ _ Fuck _ .” He moaned as he entered her. She was gripping him tightly, her warmth engulfing him entirely. 

It had been a very long time since he had felt anyone  _ that _ way. So intimately. He hadn’t forgotten how it felt, but whatever he remembered was in no comparison to what he was feeling at that moment. 

With each thrust, he felt the bed move under them, the bedpost not so gently banging against the wall. Every worry he previously had about his body, seemed to fade for that moment, as it hovered hers. 

He watched himself as he entered her slowly and then dragged his cock out of her. And back inside again. 

“ _ Oh… yes. _ ” She moaned, as his fingers slowly rubbed her clit adding onto the pleasure. 

She felt like heaven. It was what he wanted. Ever since he had seen her in that magazine basically naked. His mind already knew he wanted her. But he couldn’t bring himself to admit it. 

He still couldn’t process the fact that he was pounding into her, their skin slapping against each other, and her sex squelching around him. 

He had been surprised to how long he was able to suppress his desires, and now they were out in the open. 

“I’m close Bucky.” She purred into his ear which egged him on. He wanted to make her feel good. As he knew that was probably his last time being that intimate with her. 

He knew his place, but he didn’t want to forget that moment, and he didn’t want her to forget it either. 

His lips connected to hers one last time, as he accelerated his movements, at the same time chasing his own release. The way she gripped around him, got him closer and closer to where he wanted to be, though he didn’t want it to end. 

His fingers rubbed against her bundle of nerves, as she started chanting his name like a prayer. It was his name that was falling off her lips, and no one else’s. 

_ Bucky… _

_ Bucky… _

_ Bucky... _

Each time she said it, it got louder, and more desperate. 

Suddenly, after seeing such a beautiful woman underneath him nearly falling apart gave him a certain confidence he had never thought he’d have.

“Come for me.” He growled, as he kept pounding into her, his cock shining from her juices. 

“ _ BUCKY _ !” She screamed so loudly he was pretty sure anyone on the beach would’ve heard her. Not that they would’ve remembered, as everyone was high. 

He was too. 

But not on drugs. 

Her screams of pleasure, were what kept him pounding into her throughout her orgasm. He wanted her to feel him for days to come. 

“Oh Bucky.” She said as she rested her head on top of his chest after he slipped himself out of her, as his cum slowly seeped out of her, her leg intertwined with his. 

He came inside of her. And then realization struck. 

“Fuck, shit. I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t worry, I’m on birth control.” 

“Oh.” 

Then it fell quiet between them, but not the awkward kind. He took that moment to think to himself. He chuckled at the memory of their first encounter, and how different they used to be. They both had grown a lot since then. Then, he hated his job, as he couldn’t stand her. Bratty, arrogant, and cocky, she was everything he stood against. 

Perhaps he was just another bodyguard she was checking off her list, but in that moment of bliss, he tossed the idea aside. He didn’t want to let any negative thoughts interrupt that night. 

“What are you thinking about?” She asked, as her finger drew circles on his chest. 

“Nothing.” 

“Well, you seem bothered by something.” He heard her say as she got up to straddle him, grinding her still wet against his cock. “Let me make you forget all about it.” 

  
  


He was hard again, and she was ready to go. 

  
  


…..

  
  


When she woke up the next morning, she felt a pleasant soreness coming from between her legs. And unlike other mornings, in which she woke up not remembering much about the night before, she remembered it ever so clearly. 

She had sex with Bucky. Twice. And it wasn’t even bad. It was good. Very good. 

The previous night changed her view on him completely. Not only he was kind and caring, he was also great in bed. She still reminisced the feeling of him deep inside her, his big rough hands exploring her body. 

She was confused. But in a good way. As in she didn’t know what would’ve happened next. Usually it was easy. When she slept with her other bodyguards, she didn’t care about them, as she didn’t bother knowing much about them. 

She realised her initial plan, to seduce Bucky, had worked. Except she didn’t want him to get fired. She wanted him. Again. 

She took the first shirt and a pair of swim trunks of his she spotted and put them on, and headed outside to the beach. 

The beach was the prettiest in the morning. She just never bothered to wake up early before. The sand felt smooth beneath her, as she made her way down to where the water met the sand. Seating herself there, letting the waves wet her feet. 

She felt a surge of happiness and was in a good mood. Despite how the night before started for her. As she watched the furthest point the ocean went, she felt someone sit beside her. 

“Fucking hell Val. Warn me before you do that.” She said half irritated as she clutched a hand to her chest. 

“Sorry.” She said before continuing. “How was your bodyguard?” 

“Excuse me?”

“I have seen you walk out of the guesthouse, in his clothes, no less.” 

“You’re gonna tell, aren’t you?”

“Nah, not my style.” She shrugged, as she looked into the horizon. “You two look cute together, unusual, but nonetheless cute.” 

“We’re not a couple.” 

“How can I forget? Y/N Stark is allergic to relationships. But I’ve seen the way he looks at you, and the way you look at him.” 

“I don’t look at him in any kind of way.” 

“Sure… whatever you say. But you know you only live once. Why not give into feelings?”

“It’s not that easy.” 

“Feelings aren’t supposed to be easy. See where your instincts guide you.” 

Maybe she was right. Whatever she felt for Bucky, sure felt like a clusterfuck of emotions. Maybe she needed to try to figure out what they were. She did like him platonically, and ever since she had slept with him, she couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

And the night of the gala, how her brain made her think she wanted Bucky. Maybe her brain was right after all. 

“I also talked to Natasha last night.” Then her heart stopped. She hadn’t talked to her since last night, after things had ended. 

“How bad was it?” 

“Pretty bad at first, but then I gave her what she needed.” 

“You also had sex with her?”

“We talked. Sex isn’t everything.” She rolled her eyes, at her assumption. “Communication is.” 

“I never would’ve thought you’d say something like that.” 

“Neither did I.” 

“Can’t believe I’m about to say it, but you do give great advice. I didn’t know before.” 

“Probably because my mouth was busy doing something else.” She said cheekily with a wink. 

“Now that’s the Val I know. I’m gonna go.” She said as she stood up from the sand. “But if we don’t see each other here again, I hope when we cross paths we can have dinner. A friendly one. No sex.” 

“I don’t think you’ll be able to resist, but I will take you up on that offer Stark.” 

  
  


_ …. _

  
  


When he woke up the morning after, he found himself to be completely naked, covered by a thin sheet. The sun was already up, and shining onto a new day. He could glance the beach from where he was, the water glimmering under the hot sun. 

And yet, there was one thing, or person, missing. Y/N. 

He looked to the empty place beside him, there was evidence someone had spent the night. Her pillow still smelled like the sea and her. He blushed at the remainder of the night prior, in which he had slept with her. 

Though it had seemed like she wasted no time in fleeing the scene, perhaps what she was most known for. He knew he shouldn’t have taken it personally. It wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t change who she was, especially not for him, a bodyguard, and not even the hot kind. 

“Hi.” She said as she peered inside the guest house.  _ Good God, _ she was gorgeous. And he had her, twice. His heart filled up with joy at the sight of her. She didn’t leave him behind. She was there. 

“Hi…” He said still surprised by his presence. He couldn’t understand why she would’ve come back. She was way out of his league. While she was a solid ten, he would’ve rated himself a five, or less. 

The last years married to his ex didn’t help with his self image. He had always thought of himself as too pudgy, and because of that no one since his ex wanted him. That was until her. 

“So… last night.” He started to say, his mind seemed to work on its own. He wanted to know. Whether it was a rash decision on her part, especially because she was so upset when she had showed up at his door. 

“Ok, I don’t want this to be an awkward morning after thing.” She said as she sat beside him on the bed. “Especially because I really enjoyed it.” 

“Me too.” 

“How about we have breakfast here. And talk.” 

“I’d like that very much.” He said with a smile. He was happy. He had been happy before, when he was around his daughter, but this was another kind of happy. 

“I’ll just go and take a shower. I’ll be right back.” 


	16. Starting Over Again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s): oral sex, rough sex, fluff

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The song playing in this chapter is Starting Over Again by Natalie Cole, I listened to it when I wrote the scene it’s in. And it also inspired this chapter’s title. 
> 
> So I hope you enjoy it. This chapter is a little longer than usual... I got carried away.

It was a busy afternoon as per usual, with Y/N on her usual shopping spree, it had taken them to Saks, the location of most of her spending. An area of the store had been cleared out from the public just for her, as she was one of their best clientele. 

It had never occurred to Bucky that there wasn’t such thing as too many clothes. He thought what he had in his closet was more than enough, but ever since he started working for Y/N, he realized it wasn’t. All the clothing on the racks were about his monthly rent. Completely unaffordable. But for her it was like buying apples at the farmer’s market. 

He didn’t want her to spend any money on him. He felt like he was using her, and that was the last thing he wanted to do to her. To just use her. 

Bucky stood in the empty area of the store, cleared out specifically for her, as the sales assistants walked around bringing clothes to the dressing room for her. For such a young woman, she made her presence known, regardless of her last name. She commanded respect wherever she went, and they gave it to her. 

She was a force to be reckoned with. 

The store smelled like expensive perfume. He couldn’t quite pinpoint what smell it was, but he was sure he had smelt it on someone with a lot of money. 

Then there she was, walking out of the dressing rooms, looking like a goddess. Fuck, she was gorgeous. And he was sleeping with her. He had the privilege to lay beside her. To feel her body spasming when she came for him, her mouth slightly open, with her head thrown back. 

“Bucky, I need your help. I need you to zip me up.” She said as she indicated the way towards the dressing rooms.  _ Oh _ . He slowly pieced the message together in his brain. She wanted him.  _ Right then and there _ . 

His heart started racing, as he blushed a little. He was still not used to it, she was so daring, and carefree. And just by being beside her, he felt his old self again. 

“Yes, I’ll be right there.” 

It had been like that since they had returned on the mainland. He hadn’t been able to rest, not that he was complaining. 

The sex was amazing. Better than anything he had before. In fact it was nothing like he had before. With her, everything seemed new, he had never had sex in public before, but there was always a first time for everything. 

He felt like he was young again. 

  
  


_ “I wanted to talk about us.” She said as she reached into the bowl of freshly cut fruit and picked out a piece of pineapple. “I just want to see where it goes. No pressure.” _

_ The memories of the night before were still fresh. They had sex. He had slept with her. His boss, who was way younger than him, and definitely with no doubt, out of his league.  _

_ She was Y/N Stark for Christ’s sake. Everyone wanted her. And he just had her.  _

_ “Let’s do that.”  _

_ “It’s obvious we’re compatible as friends, but friends can fuck right?”  _

_ Wrong, he had never slept with any of his friends. Only girlfriends. He never had one night stands except for that twice in college, but that was it. He wanted to feel, when he was that intimate with someone.  _

_ But she was clearly different. From what he had learnt by working for her, her friends were also very friendly in the bedroom.  _

_ Could he even compete with that? Younger people? Loki, he was more experienced from what he had heard, and very skilled. Natasha instead had a leg up on him because she was her best friend. That was a real connection.  _

_ But he wanted it. He wanted her again.  _

_ “Well, everybody’s leaving right about now, we still have a few hours to kill on the island. You want to see the master bedroom?” She asked, her voice laced with innocence, which made it all the more sinful.  _

_ He knew he should’ve said no, kept things professional between them, and claim last night as a slip up. But desire beckoned him. Tempting him to sleep with his boss again.  _

_ It was hard to keep a straight face when she was wearing his clothes. Not the expensive clothes she had bought him, but the clothes he had packed for the trip and that he hadn’t gotten the chance to wear.  _

_ She was wearing a t-shirt of his he had intended to wear on the beach, which fitted her as a dress. It was a simple grey shirt, but she pulled it off. His eyes fell on breasts, not quite visible underneath the shirt, but her nipples were. _

_ She must have noticed him staring as she licked remnants of pineapple juice from her finger. _

_ Y/N was definitely the sexiest woman he had ever encountered. Not even Dot had ever made him feel like that.  _

_ It wasn’t like he had never been happy with his ex wife. He was, and in fact at the beginning, he was completely enamoured by her. Just like any couple, they did have their honeymoon phase, and he had stayed in love with her throughout the years, not wanting to see how interest by her part had decreased.  _

_ They hadn’t sex in years by the time of their last month together as a married couple. But that wasn’t something he wanted to think about, not especially when following a young, beautiful woman who was inviting him inside a luxurious house on a private island.  _

_ Since the night before, he believed to be in a dream. A dream he would be disappointed to be woken up from.  _

_ As she picked up her pace, walking slowly turned into running. And as she ran, he could see she wasn’t wearing any panties underneath his shirt.  _

_ She was going to be the death of him.  _

  
  


She eagerly closed the curtains in the dressing room, eyeing him like a woman starved. It made him so hard and happy to know she wanted him so badly.

“How is this dress?” She asked as she cornered him in between her and the large mirror. “Do you like it on, or off?” 

She teased him, as her fingers traced over the buttons on his shirt. It was starting to get very hot. 

“O-Off.” 

“Off it is.” 

The dress fell off her body, and pooled around her ankles. Revealing a matching set of bra and panties, both black lace, with a pearl detail. His favorite. It was sheer enough to reveal what was waiting for him underneath. 

She pushed him down on the stool behind him, so that he would be seated, smirking at their reflection. 

“Do you want me to suck your cock?” He had no idea how he managed to keep his cool and not blow his load right then and there. She spread his knees apart, so that she was knelt in between them. 

“ _ Fuck _ ” He cursed as she palmed him through his pants. “They’re gonna notice we’re gone.” 

“Shh… we’ll be quick.” She said in a hushed tone, as she unbuckled his belt, and pulled out his cock from his boxers. He was already rock hard. 

He was ashamed to admit had been for a while, watching her try on very flattering clothes, not so innocently parading around the store in her bra and panties, trying to find the sales assistant. 

“ _ Oh Y/N… _ ” He moaned softly as she started guiding her hand up and down. Her hands were so much different than his. They were delicate, smaller, but had a firm grip. 

He struggled to not make noise, as the pleasure she was giving him was already intense, but once he felt her tongue, he let out a gasp and tried to stifle a moan. 

She smirked, as her tongue flattened at the tip, her hand still pumping him. She was enjoying it, he could tell it by the cheeky smirk she had painted on her lips. He wanted her so bad. 

After she gave the tip and his shaft a few few licks from the bottom all the way to the top, she held a firm grip at the base and started lowering her mouth on him. From the moment his tip passed her lips, he felt like he was in heaven. 

It wasn’t the first time she had given him a blow job, there had been other times. Each time, she was more enthusiastic and worked up. Either she genuinely liked giving head, or she was good at pretending. But he didn’t want her to pretend. Not to him. 

But in that moment, he felt selfish as he didn’t want her to stop. 

“ _ Y/N… _ ” Her name fell out of his lips, as he tried to stay as quiet as possible, the warmth and wetness of her mouth making it that much harder. 

She looked up at him, from where she was, saliva coated her lips and dribbled down, as her red lips left a visible ring around his cock. She looked so pretty like that, he wanted to make her feel good. 

He couldn't resist any longer, he was so close, and the sight of her on her knees with her red lips around him set him off. His hips jerked a little towards her mouth as she kept sucking him through his climax, swallowing every last drop he had to give. 

“You taste so good… Bucky.” She winked as she licked her lips and stood up. “You want my pussy now, don’t you?” 

He was spent from the orgasm, trying to compose himself and unsure of whether he could put himself back in his pants or whether he had to leave it like that because she wanted to fuck him in the dressing room. He certainly wouldn’t have been opposed to that. 

“I think they’re starting to get suspicious. We should go back out there.” She said as she dressed herself back in the clothes she came in.

“But this is far from over.” 

And with that, she exited the dressing room first, grabbing the dress with her. 

She was teasing him, and he loved it. 

….

She saw the way he looked at her. It wasn’t just lust, he admired her figure, every curve and the scar on her leg she had gotten after diving off a cliff a few summers back. 

He cared about none of that. He just took her in, with that gaze of his. And that tongue… she could talk for hours about that tongue. She wouldn’t have guessed just by looking at him, but he was really at eating her out. When his tongue barely dipped in her entrance, his fingers rubbed her clit in short strokes making her toes curl. 

He already knew her body that well. He was a quick learner. And she could tell he was frustrated by the way she had left things at the store. 

She already knew what she was in for, even before he started touching her. 

“You’re beautiful.” He said, pulling her leg up on his shoulder before positioning himself at her entrance. She was about to smile, until she felt his bulbous tip slowly slide in immediately stretching her. And her smile turned into an audible moan. 

Once he had bottomed out, he started thrusting into her, slowly accelerating his pace, until he was pounding her into the mattress. She felt every inch of him, he wasn’t the biggest she had ever had but he was definitely girthy. 

The angle he put her in was just right as he was hitting her g spot each time he thrusted in her, making her moan louder by the second. She felt it so close. The coil in her stomach was about to snap. 

_ Fuck.  _ He was filling her up to the brim, the feeling indescribable. And as she tried to chase her own orgasm, by meeting his thrusts, he held his hips still impeding her from doing so. 

That turned her on a lot. It was so sexy to see him assert his dominance, wanting to be the only one to make her come. 

“Bucky, I’m close.” She saw him smile at himself, pleased at her state. Speeding up his rhythm, his cock was just basically at that point sliding in and out of her as she was dripping wet with arousal. 

The final straw was him impulsively flicking her clit, making her cry out his name, her body shaking at the intensity of the orgasm. He just kept going, making it even more pleasurable for her. He was a generous giver. 

“Bucky!” 

His thrusts became tense, as he jerked his hips forward for one last time, emptying himself inside of her. 

_ Holy fucking shit _ . That was amazing. Just like every time they fucked. The quality never wavered. Maybe he was even better than the time before? 

She struggled to catch her breath as he rolled off her, caressing her sweat matted hair off of her forehead. Before passing her the bottle of water from her nightstand. 

_ Fuck, and he was nice too.  _

It was very hard to make it impersonal when she slept with Bucky. 

But she convinced herself it was just sex. Really good sex, but there was nothing beyond that. At least that was what she wanted to believe. 

What was about Bucky that made her want him so much? It had been days since the island, and she wasn’t tired of him yet. She figured she had to sate her thirst, but she was never quenched. Each time, she craved him more

“That was amazing. Are you free tonight?” She asked as she clasped her bra back on, as she watched him button his shirt. 

“Tonight’s my night off… remember?”

She forgot. She had given him the night off. Which he deserved, as he always worked so hard, and as much as she wanted to have him all night to herself, he had a family to take care of. 

“Right. Have fun.”

“Thanks. Call me if you need anything.” He said, as he disappeared behind the door, leaving her alone in the room which smelled like them. 

She was confused about what she was feeling. It was pretty clear what it was, but she ad no idea if it was just her hormones going crazy. Since they had been back, it had been a non stop fuck fest. They had done it every time they were in the same room together. He was an addiction. 

_ It was just sex.  _

She liked his cock, his thick cock which stretched her out every time, her pussy gripping tightly around it each time he pounded her. That was it. But she knew it wasn’t like with her other bodyguards. He knew her more vulnerable side. It was mainly on her. She had just unleashed a ton of information on herself on him. 

But she felt it. Whenever she was underneath him, his face so close to hers, and those eyes. Those nearly ethereal blue eyes. And when he was getting dressed after their sessions, when he shimmied into his pants. 

She probably needed to get out. 

…. 

“First and foremost, what the hell are you doing here?” She asked annoyedly, the first person she saw when she walked down to the ground floor, was Thor. She didn’t need him there especially when she had more pressing matters to deal with.  _ I.e: her feelings.  _ “Because I do not recall calling you.” 

“It’s not my fault if you’ve gone under the radar. No parties? No events? A small appearance on Page Six. I was starting to worry.” 

“Well as my one time faux boyfriend you might think it is appropriate to present yourself at my home, but I seem to remember a rule we had both agreed on the day I hired you.” 

“I call you, when I need you. That’s it.” She paused after she spoke. Maybe she was being a little harsh to him. After all they had been through a lot together. “I appreciate the concern. It is very thoughtful of you.” 

She saw that he was proud of himself. Good for him. 

“But you still haven’t answered my first question, and the fallen off the earth response isn’t valid, because I’ve done that when I went on a two week long bender by myself. And you haven’t shown concern then.” 

“Natasha. She told me.” 

“Oh, yeah. I forgot you were screwing her.” 

“Why? Are you jealous?”

She didn’t care enough to be jealous. 

“Why should I care?” 

“Because I’m the best lay you’ve ever had.” One of the many lies she had told him to make him perform better in the bedroom. She had said the same thing to countless others. 

It seemed like she hadn’t told Bucky that yet. That man knew his way around a woman’s body, and gave her very intense orgasms. She didn’t want to lie to Bucky. It was the one thing she didn’t want to do to him. 

“Ok, whatever. I have somewhere to be. Was that all?” 

“Yes. I think.” She chuckled at his cuteness. She had to admit he had his adorable moments. 

“Take care Thor. Oh and if it’s not too soon, say hi to Natasha.” 

….. 

Even back when he used to be a sergeant, he always used to go to Sam’s for dinner. He would always be hesitant at first, as he didn’t want to impose, bu under much insistence by both Sam and his wife, he started going, until it became tradition. That every once in a while, Bucky joined them for dinner. 

“Long story short, he shot himself. And I know it’s bad, but I was definitely laughing.” Sam recounted as he chuckled to himself. 

“Samuel.” His wife scolded, as she helped her son who sat beside him, in cutting his steak. 

“C’mon, he’s an asshole.” He justified himself as he finished his beer in one gulp. 

“Sam! The kids!” She said, with her eyes wide open her head pointing towards the children. 

He had to admit they did look cute together. Even after all those years they had been together, they were as strong as they were when they first got together. Fresh out of the Academy. 

“Fuck, you’re right.” He said as he went back into the mashed potatoes, before realising his wife still glaring at him. “Oh I said it again didn’t I?” 

Sam’s youngest daughter, Bailey, only two years old, giggling at the scene, rather than eating her food. She was amused, just as he was. Which was why he loved dinners at Sam’s. They never failed to entertain him and make him smile. 

But now he had more than a reason for smiling. 

“I have to say, that you’re positively glowing. Whatever it is, you seem really happy.” 

It was her. And all the sex they have been having.  _ Did it show? Did they know?  _

Sam seemed to be suspicious, as he gave him a knowing smirk. Perhaps he was thinking it. But he didn’t say. 

“Yes, I am very happy at the moment.” 

“Well I’m glad to hear so.” She paused, after taking a small sip of wine. “It’s probably the most opportune moment to bring something up.” 

“Honey…” 

_ He already knew where it was heading. A dreadful path they had already gone over a thousand times.  _

“Bailey has made a new friend in daycare, who has just moved in the neighborhood. And this friend has a mother, a single mother as a fact, and I was wondering if you would consider going out with her.”

_ Oh no.  _

“She’s so nice, and pretty… I think you’d like her.” 

She was always trying to set him up with women she knew. Except he was never interested. He knew she meant no harm by doing so, and only wanted him to be happy, but he was never ready to jump back into a relationship. 

_ Until Y/N.  _

Not that what they had was a relationship. All they did was have their fun. He couldn’t help but think about how they had parted that day. It was just sex. At least for her it was. 

_ What if this was routine for her? _

It was widely known she had a penchant for her employees, bodyguards no less. What if she considered him like everyone else? What if there was a replacement right around the corner? 

He didn’t want to be that. He didn’t want to be the kind of guy who just had sex with the woman they really liked. He liked her, and he wanted her to know it. 

Bucky was never known to be able to differentiate sex from love, as she did, and he was afraid she thought it was meaningless to him. 

It wasn’t. The way she touched him, and looked at him made him feel wanted and loved. He felt the need to show her how much he appreciated her, and that it went beyond sex. 

He needed to do something to change things. 

…. 

The next day she woke up to a message for Bucky, saying his daughter got sick and that he couldn’t make it for the morning throughout the afternoon. So much for her plans to spend their morning at Central Park, maybe a coffee, before fucking each other’s brains out. 

Maybe it was for the best, in truth she had been spending a little too much time with him. But it wasn’t her fault he was so comforting to be around. 

Then her mind went to the worst place.  _ What if he was avoiding her?  _

But she immediately shook that off. He never took the morning off. It must have been serious. Who was she to stop a father from caring for a daughter? 

And for the rest of the day when the sun was up, she didn’t see him. Though she did think of him. And started wondering whether she should’ve sent a care package for his daughter. After all, she had met her, and found her tolerable. 

Her day was tranquil, but that was until she received a text from Bucky. Which would’ve lifted her spirits, but what he had sent her annoyed her. 

So she ended her day in the backseat of Bucky’s car, in a five thousand dollar gown, not getting rawed in any way, much to her dismay. 

“Seriously? Tony is dragging me to another gala and sent you as a messenger?” She scoffed as she checked herself in a compact mirror, smacking her lips to evenly coat her lips with lipstick. “Typical.” 

“It’s not his fault it was a last minute thing. I’ll make it up to you,” 

“Meaning you’ll sneak away with me to the ladies bathroom?” She asked raising her eyebrow. “You know how much I love that tongue of yours.” 

“Just wait and see…”

….

When she realised they weren’t in Manhattan anymore, she got confused. She thought the gala was at some stuffy Upper East Side venue. But it was in Brooklyn?

She hand set foot there ever since she had gotten drunk and he had kindly taken her back to his place. 

That was a good memory. All memories she had shared with him were good. Better than good. 

She was even more confused when he pulled up in his driveway, but she didn’t dare say anything. She didn’t know what he was up to. Maybe he had forgotten something, like a charger.

Not that she minded them getting to the gala late. She always arrived late to that kind of event. It was something she never cared for, but it was a ‘duty’ that came with being herself. 

She followed him inside, as she noticed her gown was starting to crinkle and she hadn’t brought her steamer, and maybe he had one in the house.

But when she entered, she was not expecting what she saw. There wasn’t much difference to the house except for the dimmed lights, and the lit candles, and the balloons on the ceiling. Now those were not there the last time she had been there. 

The dinner table was already set, with a small vase of flowers at the centre, which gave the table a little more color. 

_ It was beautiful.  _

“Oh Bucky… this is so beautiful. Did you do all of this?” She asked still in shock. It was single handedly the most thoughtful and sweetest gesture anyone had given her, ever. 

“Carol helped. The balloons were her idea.”

“I have to thank her too then.” She kept admiring the room around her. And there it was. That warm feeling. 

“You don’t hate it?” 

“No, I love it.” She said as she beamed. “What’s the occasion?”

“Prom.”

“Ok, now I’m a little confused. Did you just say prom?” 

“I remember you said you would’ve liked to go to your own prom, and I know this is nothing like an actual high school prom-“ 

“Oh Bucky… you remembered?” He had actually remembered, she had found the urge to kiss him, but she wanted to wait, and hear what he still had to say. 

“Of course.” She felt herself float, and not by drugs for once. She got closer to him, and closer.  _ The warmth. _ Again. 

But this time it was egging her on. She didn’t just want him, she needed him. Whatever that meant. 

“What do you want?” She asked in a whisper as she traced a finger over his lapel. 

“A kiss.” 

“Oh I’m going to give you more than that.” She said as she attempted to take off his jacket. 

“Y/N… you know people can kiss without having sex right?” 

“Is it still fun if you take away the most important part?” 

“Absolutely.” 

“I’ll guess you have to show me.” 

In that moment, she knew she was meant to be there, in Bucky’s living room, kissing him. She was scared of course, Bucky was different. He wasn’t superficial, nor tried to take advantage of her. He was Bucky. Kind, caring, sweet Bucky. 

She didn’t care what it meant, because suddenly remember what it was like to be truly happy. She didn’t want it to stop. 

Val was right. She had to follow her instincts, and they told her to hold onto Bucky for as long as she could. 

“Come on, let’s dance, after all what’s prom without dancing?” 

“Don’t laugh, but I never learnt to dance. Alongside skipping prom, I also skipped cotillion, so I never took classes.” 

“Let me show you then.” He went on to play the cheesiest and most appropriate (for their situation) song he could ever pick,  _ Starting Over Again _ , a song she would’ve usually laughed at for being too lovey dovey, but for once in her adult life she found it tolerable. Maybe his presence made it so. 

She put her arms around his neck, as he started slow dancing to the music. 

_ And now we're starting over again, it's not the easiest thing to do.  _ The song was somehow so applicable to what she was going through, she cursed the movie like moment, but somehow still appreciating it. 

_ I'm feeling inside again, 'cause every time I look at you _

“You know this is something I’d expect from a sentimental romcom. I expected better from you Barnes.” 

“How did you think this night would gone?”

_ I know we're starting over again, this time we'll leave all the pain away _

“Well, if we were at the gala you made me think we were heading at, I’d imagine you’d be fucking me in a bathroom stall.” 

“And you’d prefer it?” 

She pretended to think about it for a second. 

_ Welcome home my lover and friend, we are starting over, over again _

“No, I wouldn’t wish to be elsewhere.” Why was the song so accurate? But she couldn’t deny that feeling she felt each time he looked at her, and it wasn’t just in her pants. “Dip me.” 

“What?”

“You heard me Bucky, dip me.” 

“Fine.” 

She squealed when he did so, though it only lasted a second, before he pulled her back up, much closer to him, closing the space between them. Her hand was on his upper arm, and his hand on the small of her back. 

His lips attaching themselves to hers, as she reciprocated the kiss, their hands weren’t all over each other, maybe that was Bucky was talking about. Perhaps it was possible to kiss someone without having sex. 

She had to admit she did like when he kissed her, it gave her feeling of pure bliss, and it somehow made her feel special. 

The pull she felt towards him was undeniable, and everything was just amplified by the moment, the incredibly sweetest, most thoughtful thing anyone had done for her. 

“I think I should stay over.” She said once they had pulled away much to her dismay. If it were up to her, she wanted to kiss him forever. Or for as long as she could see them being by one another. 

“I agree.” He said as he put a strand of hair behind her ear. “You can sleep in my bed, if you want to.” 

“That would be really nice, especially if we-“

“Y/N...” He warned. 

”I kinda forgot about that, just continue kissing me and I’ll be alright.” 

She didn’t know if it was the song choice, or the way he was looking at her, but she felt again. That confusing feeling that coiled inside of her. And yet she liked it, it was tickling her insides. A feeling that would be best described as butterflies. 

_ Did she like him that way? _

She wished there was some kind of manual to help her through that moment. There was nothing more she wanted to do but to just gaze into his eyes for the remainder of the night. 

So she did what she did best, and decided to kiss him. Except that wasn’t useful at all, and just made her even more confused. So what if she liked him? Would it have been so tragic if she did? 

She decided to toss the questions aside indefinitely, and just concentrate on kissing him. 

All her thoughts were worth being pushed aside for him, and his kisses. She wouldn’t have told Bucky, but out of all the nights they had spent together, that was her favorite. 


	17. The Day After

* * *

Bucky woke up very early the next morning, to feel her warm body pressed against his. She was still sound asleep, as he heard soft, almost silent snores coming from her. It was a strange feeling. Having someone in his bed. 

He had completely forgotten how it felt to be in the same bed as someone he had feelings for. 

_ He had feelings for her right?  _

It had been a long time since someone as beautiful as her had taken an interest in her. Of course they had been plenty of women before. Before Dot, everything had been so much easier. He’d just have to take one glance at them, and everything would be sorted for him. 

It wasn’t that easy anymore. 

Everything before was in black and white, though his relationships were always full of passion, and fun memories, ever he had with Y/N felt different. 

Also because of their age difference, she was the first woman who he wasn’t close in age to, but also because their professional relationship. 

_ Professional _ .

He scoffed as she moved a little and rubbed her butt against his groin. And just like he had anticipated, he was hard. 

He rushed into the bathroom mortified, bringing his phone with him and locked himself inside. Everything seemed so surreal. Y/N and him. Even their names in the same sentence seemed weird. 

It was obviously not meant to be, but she was the first woman who had seen him not just as a friend, but as something more. The previous night was evidence of that. 

Her eyes, were the most beautiful he had ever seen. There was so much life in them, almost like he could see her history in them. A little bit of sorrow, a dash of rowdiness, but it was plenty of happiness. He could see that in them. 

He felt something, and that time was not in his pants. Not knowing what to do, he pressed on a number and held the phone to his ear. 

“Sam?”

“What’s wrong?” And the second he answered, he regretted it. Not that he wasn’t a good listener, he was, but Sam had a way with words no one else did. 

“Why do you have to assume it’s wrong?” 

“Because it’s you.” 

Either way, if anyone knew how he was when he had feelings, was Sam. After all, he had been there through it all. All while giving good advice, and really bad ones (the bad ones outnumbered the good). But he was a good friend. 

“Y/N is here.” 

“Y/N as in Stark? The Y/N you’ve had dream sex with?” 

“Not just dream sex.” 

“Wait. You had sex with Y/N?” 

“Stop shouting it. Aren’t you at work?” 

“Yeah but it’s boring. And I’m the Captain.” Bucky heard him loudly munching on something. “In all honesty I’m proud of you. You finally got laid, and with her!” 

“Where are you right now?”

“In the bathroom?” 

“What are you doing in the bathroom? Get back out there and get some.” 

He was right, he was in the bathroom, while a gorgeous woman was in his bed. He had to get her breakfast. That’s what he would’ve done normally. If a woman stayed over. But again, she wasn’t like any other woman he had been with. 

“Now?”

“Why? Don’t you like morning sex? The mrs. likes a taste in morning before she goes to work.” 

“What? Ew, Sam. I don’t need to know what you do with your wife.” 

“I was just saying. Just get out there, and show her how much you want her.” 

“That’s the problem.”

“That’s a problem?”

“I really want her Sam. I don’t think it’s just because she’s young and beautiful.” It wasn’t easy to explain. If he could, he would’ve, but he just didn’t know how to describe how he was feeling. “I just did this whole dinner prom thing last night for her, and I didn’t feel like myself.”

“And that’s good..?”

“Yes. In the best way possible. I wish my prom had gone like that.” 

“Why how was it?”

“Didn’t tell you? My date and I got tipsy and we hooked up. We didn’t speak after that.”  _ And last night was nothing like that. _ He wanted to add on. It felt special. He wondered if she felt it too. 

“What did you two do then?”

“We danced.” 

“Just danced?”

“And we slept in the same bed. She was there this morning, she hadn’t left like on the island.” 

“What island? You have a lot of explaining to do.” 

“No I don’t.” 

“Yes you do just wait till-“ He wouldn’t have known what he said next as he hung up on him and placed his phone near the sink, as he stepped in the shower.

……

“ _ Bucky… _ ” She mumbled as she slowly started to wake up. She wanted to stay in bed forever, it wasn’t an expensive or imported bed, but she liked it. It was soft, and it smelled like him. 

Memories of the night before played in her mind, and she smiled. Her heart beating like crazy inside her. She would’ve remembered it forever, as long forever lasted. From the dance, to the dinner, to when she was laying in his bed, her head on his chest, and her leg over his. 

She didn’t feel the urge to leave the bed, like she was used to. She was meant to stay there engulfed by warmth. She rolled over to face Bucky, but she had already felt an absence in the place beside her. She felt it. 

“Bucky?” She said a little louder as she got up, sitting upright on his bed. 

The t shirt she was wearing looked a little old, but she liked how it looked on her. It fell just above her knee, making it very comfortable to sleep in. 

She made her way around his room in his absence, she hoped he didn’t mind. His room wasn’t that big, just a regular bedroom, but it had so much of him in it. From the picture on his bedside table, of him and Carol when she was a baby. 

He was younger, chiseled, and he was smiling as he held his newborn daughter in his arms. Probably at the hospital. She understood why she kept that particular photo close to his bed. 

She held that photo in her hands, and smiled at it. Bucky had always been handsome, and as much younger Bucky looked like a God, she liked him just the way he was. 

He was such a good father. Maybe that was why she was attracted to him. She couldn’t quite understand why. Not that she was eager to understand. Things were good just the way they were. 

And there it was, inside the top drawer of his night stand. Playboy magazine. A pretty familiar one, as she was the one on the cover. 

_ So he did keep it. And it looked like it had been used.  _

As she walked towards the hallway, she heard the sound of running water coming from the bathroom.  _ Bucky _ . 

Then something came to mind. Something inherently naughty and yet she knew he would’ve enjoyed it. Anyone would’ve. 

She stripped down to nothing, she was just in his boxer briefs, the breeze as she walked around the house hardening her nipples. 

She rummaged through a drawer in the kitchen and found an apron. Wanting to do something for him, to thank him for the night before, she decided to make something. It was the least she could do. 

Eggs. She was going to make him the least labor intensive breakfast food. 

A nice gesture to counter the nice gesture he had given her. 

Except her eggs instead of bacon, would have a side of kitchen sex to go with it. It was the perfect way to start a day. 

She could imagine it already. Bucky just coming out of the shower, a towel wrapped around his waist, would find her naked in the kitchen in nothing but his apron. And they would’ve gotten at it on the counter. 

At least that was how it worked in porn. 

Just as she was about to crack some eggs into the pan, there was a distinct knock at her door. Surely Bucky wouldn’t have minded if she answered the door for him. 

  
  
  


“Oh My God.” She gasped at the sight of a man dressed in a police uniform. A pretty convincing one at that. 

He was definitely a stripper. She couldn’t believe Bucky had ordered her one. And so early in the day. She didn’t know strippers worked 24/7, it was something she would’ve liked to know before. 

“You must be Y/N Stark.” 

“Yes I am.” She said as she let him in, admiring his figure. He was pretty in shape. “What do I call you?” 

“Captain Wilson. Sam Wilson.” 

“Well then, Captain Wilson, Sam Wilson, the floor is yours. I’m guessing you have your music-“ 

“I’m not-“

“Yeah I forgot, I don’t know how strippergrams work, but I only have six hundred here, I hope that’s enough.” 

The stripper still seemed unsure, but at the mention of the money he took off his cap, and gently put it on the coffee table. A choice which seemed odd, for a stripper, but she wasn’t one to judge. 

“Ma’am, I’m….” 

Before he could finish his sentence, he was interrupted by the very familiar melody, which came out rather loudly from her phone (which she was holding in her hand). 

She figured putting on music to set the mood would’ve helped him. Maybe he was nervous. He didn’t look as young as the strippers she was used to, but she appreciated Bucky’s gesture. While she expected the dinner, and the whole prom experience from him, she sure did not expect him getting her a stripper the morning after. 

If that was part of the prom experience, she wished she would’ve gone to the actual prom as well. 

“Come on,  _ Captain _ . Show me what you got.” She said as she laid back on the couch.  _ God, it was going to get fun.  _ A grin started to appear on her lips as he started dancing to the beat, his hands just reaching to take his clothes off. 

He certainly knew how to move well.

“Sam?” She heard from the other side of the room, and there he was, Bucky in a fluffy robe, with wet hair. “ _ What the hell is going on _ ?”

The stripper started laughing.  _ Wait, why was he laughing?  _ And why wasn’t Bucky laughing? 

She was more confused than ever. 

“What is happening?” 

“This is Sam, my ‘friend’.” He emphasized the last word in air quotations. 

“He means best friend.” Sam, the stripper , said as he winked at her. “He’s in a little mood because-“ Before he could finish his sentence, Bucky have him death glare, which made him shut up. 

“So you’re not a stripper.”

“He’s a real cop.” 

“And you’re not here to arrest me?” 

“Did you do anything illegal?” He asked as he adjusted his shirt, and put his cap back on. 

“Can’t answer that without a lawyer present.” 

“Then I’m not here to arrest you.” 

“But why did you dance?”

“You offered me six hundred dollars. I’d dance for anyone for money.” 

“Fair enough. I like this guy.” She told Bucky at she pointed at Sam. Immediately garnering a hilarious reaction by him. 

“Y/N no-“ He said as he rubbed his temples with his thumb and middle finger. He was not pleased. It seemed like they had an interesting friendship. She wanted something like that herself. 

“I feel like we could be friends. He’s cool. Plus he has moves.” 

“I like her, she’s nice.” 

“Aww thanks. That’s sweet. You have a really nice ass, do you do squats?” 

“Yeah, thanks for noticing.” Sam replied, all while Bucky was looking into the conversation completely horrified. “I definitely like her Bucket. You should keep her around.” 

….

She looked at him confused.  _ Fuck _ . He hadn’t spoken about labels. She never brought them up, so he figured they would stay label less. 

He knew it wasn’t up to him to keep her around. If it was, he would have kept her around for as long as he could. But Y/N was known to be someone who refused to be tied down to one person. 

He would understand after all, they did not belong together. And he could not expect monogamy by her, not when she was seeing him. He knew she would’ve preferred to keep things casual.

_ But then what was the night before?  _

Did he just dream all about it? 

Maybe he had completely misread the signs, he used to do that a lot and he thought he didn’t do that anymore. Y/N made him do a lot of things he didn’t do anymore. 

“I’m not going anywhere.” She said as she smiled at him earnestly. “I’ll stay here for as long as he’ll have me.” 

He was waiting for the punchline, but it never arrived. And in the moment she seemed sincere, but was she? Or was she playing it up for Sam?

Because in truth he really wanted to believe that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. 

“Well you heard her.”

  
  


…. 

“ _ I love you.” He spoke so kindly, she had never those words directed at her before by a man like him. A man she was completely enamored with.  _

_ But the feeling of excitement in her, was replaced with something else as finished getting dressed.  _

_ It was ironic, that the first time she heard those words out of his mouth, he was leaving her behind to return to his life. The real life he had outside the walls of the hotel room they always met at.  _

_ “No you don’t.” She laughed softly, as she brushed off the feeling inside her. She was going to get hurt.  _

_ “Yes I do.”  _

_ And yet, the prospect of getting hurt by him seemed so enticing.  _

_ “Do you really have to leave?” She pleaded with her eyes for him not to leave her there alone again. Hotel rooms felt really empty with someone else in there with her to warm her up.  _

_ “I suppose not. Besides, I am determined to make you believe I love you.”  _

_ “Show me then.” She said seductively as she splayed herself on the bed. She wanted to make it work. She was going to, just for him.  _

She regrettably couldn’t remember more about that day and as days, weeks, months and years went by she remembered even less. But all she knew was that she did love him too, and she hadn’t told him. She never did. 

She remembered the feeling. Warm, and fuzzy inside, it was proof that she could indeed feel things. Bucky wasn’t her usual type, so what? She was never one to conform to society anyways. She wasn’t one to sleep over either without having sex, or enjoying sweet gestures. 

But with him, she was breaking all of her deal breakers. With him, they weren’t deal breakers. They were what made her want him more. Regardless of whether it was just pure carnal attraction or more. She needed him more than ever. 

Just being there made her think about a lot of things. 

She didn’t often get the chance to be alone with her thoughts. It used to be so scary, but being in Brooklyn, with him, somehow made it easier. 

As she sat at the table, eating the (cold) eggs she had made for them, she stared at him. He looked so pretty while he ate. While he did anything. She wondered why it took her so long to notice. 

Sometimes she dreamt of him. Ever since that night she’d feel him in her dreams. With his warm and gentle touch. 

  
  


…..

After Sam left to go back to work, he stayed in his thoughts a lot. Even while he wa having breakfast with her. He she actually said that, or did he imagine it all? 

_ He might as well have. Nothing felt real anymore.  _

A part of him, was happy, but that was overruled by the paranoid side of him, the part which always made him wonder whether he was enough. 

But it did feel real enough, especially when they sat together on his couch watching tv. He couldn’t remember the last time he had done that. Just sat down on his couch and watch tv. He had been so consumed by work that he barely sat down to relax. 

He was still on duty, but just so conveniently, his boss sat beside him, invested on what was happening on the screen. 

His boss. 

Bucky never thought he’d be the type to sleep with the boss. Of course he had met people who had done that before, to climb some sort of ladder. But he had no reason to do so. He had definitely changed. But he wanted to know whether she did too. In some small way at least. 

“Do you actually mean what you said before?” 

“About me not going anywhere?” She said as she looked up at him. So she did remember. 

“Yes, that. I’d understand if you said it because of Sam. He really does pressure you sometimes.” 

“Where else would I go? I had so much fun not just the last few days, but even before. Maybe not the start, granted I acted like an ass. But the rest was pretty good.” 

She said as she turned her body to him and turned to volume to mute. 

“I have to be honest, I don’t know what we are supposed to be, but I’m willing to try it out. Come what may.” 

And as much as he wanted to kiss her at that precise moment, there was something else that bothered him deeply, and she had noticed that as well. 

“What’s wrong?” 

“Nothing, it’s just you’re you. And I’m me.” 

“Well, I like that you’re you.” She spoke gingerly.“I like it very much. Somehow you make me go crazy when you say my name.”

“So how are we going to do this? Are we going to be exclusive. Or open?” 

_ God, he sounded pathetic.  _ Like a boy. And he completely ruined the moment. But he needed to know. So that if she happened to fall into her old habits he would be prepared. 

“Do you want us to be open?” 

He wanted to say no, he didn’t want to imagine anyone else touching her the way he did. But again, she wasn’t like other women he had been with. She was Y/N. If he held her down, he was scared he would lose her. And he would’ve rather leave whatever they had open, than to lose her. 

“We can be.” He said, words he knew he would grow to regret afterwards. 

“Ok then.” She whispered as she climbed on top of him, straddling him. “I don’t know about you, but ever since this morning, I’ve had this deep urge, don’t you?” 

There were still doubts running through his mind, but at that moment they stopped, with her hips grinding down rubbing himself against his sweatpants. He helped her to pull his t shirt over her head. 

_ She looked so sexy with his clothes on. And they looked much better on her, than they ever did on him.  _

_ “ _ Fuck me Bucky.” 

He was so wrapped up in pleasure that he didn’t hear the front door open, nor the gasps. It wasn’t until the loud “ _ What the fuck _ ?”, that he realised he had been caught red handed. 

  
  



	18. Home At Last

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s): oral sex, slight angst (?)

“ _ What the fuck _ .” 

Fuck. Dot and Carol. Both of them walking in on them. It was if the whole moment slowly unfolded in front of him. The look of utter shock and disgust on both faces. Carol immediately shielding her eyes. 

_ Poor Carol, he had to make it up to her.  _

Y/N kept giggling, reaching out for the discarded shirt and putting it back on. Why was she reacting like that? 

They were sure very different people. 

“This is the second time I get walked in today doing something naughty, and I got to say, I like it.” She said smirking, not making the situation any better. 

“James I have to have a word with you. In private.” Dot looked at him in the same look she always did. Judgement. He didn’t have time for that. 

Especially not when Y/N has previously been grinding on him, ready to- 

“I guess this is my cue to leave, but I’ll be having more of that later...  _ daddy _ .” She whispered in his ear, keeping eye contact with Dot. Her mouth was so close to his ear lobe, nearly biting it but refraining from doing so. 

She was mischievous. She wanted Dot to know. 

And he had else to something about himself. He liked being called daddy. He never thought he would, but there he was getting turned on by the word. Though it wasn’t the right moment to be. Especially when Dot wanted to talk to him. 

His eyes followed her figure as he watched her leave. He really was the luckiest man alive. Seeing her in his clothes was the best thing he had ever witnessed. She disappeared into the hallway, followed by his daughter. 

And then he sighed. He was alone with Dot in the living room. He had no idea how it was going to go. 

….. 

  
  


“So what’s your deal with my dad, are you two together together?” Carol questioned as she walked around her room. It reminded her of her own old room, the one she used to own before New York. 

It was nothing out of the ordinary, a bookshelf full of books, a desk, a closet, and yet there was something familiar in it. Sometimes when she was alone, which was rare, she would think about life before all the attention. 

Boring, but at least no one pretended to like her. If they didn’t like her, they just didn’t like her. 

But no matter how much life could become, she was glad that she had become a Stark. She wouldn’t have met Bucky if she hadn’t. He wasn’t in her life for the longest time, but she couldn’t see herself going about life without him. 

In such little time, he had grown to be important. She knew well he was more than a friend, (more than) occasional fuck buddy and bodyguard. But she didn’t want to say it out loud. 

“I don’t know, it’s complicated. It’s an adult thing. I bet you already know.” She answered her, not wanting to expand on things. 

“Yeah gross, I regret ever asking you about you two. But promise me one thing. Don’t hurt him.”

She wanted to explain to her that the adult thing wasn’t just about sex. Feelings were something difficult to deal with, especially as she grew older. In comparison sex was easy. As sex had nothing to do with feelings. 

“I know he tries to hide it, but he was pretty devastated after divorcing my mom.” 

“I won’t. I promise.” 

She knew she meant it. Contrary to her initial intentions, the last thing she wanted to do was hurt him or to get him fired. She wanted to be liked by him, to be close to him, to sleep in his bed. Amongst other things. 

“Also I think I need some monetary compensation for the trauma. I don’t think I can unsee what I saw.”  _ She had learnt well.  _

“Here’s a deal. I give you a tour of Stark Industries and let you stay over.” 

“Deal.” 

….. 

“I knew there was something that kept you on this job.” She paced up and down his living room restlessly, her voice full of contempt. 

He didn’t have time for that, but he didn’t want to start arguing with her. There was no point. But she was like that, she had always been. 

What was once a young woman with a powerful voice, a quality which attracted him to her instantly, in time became a woman who had a say on everything. And the longer they stayed together, the worse it became. 

“It’s not what it looks like.”  _ Wasn’t it? Your boss was grinding on you, topless.  _ He thought to himself. There isn’t any other interpretation to what she had seen. 

“So you’re not sleeping with your boss?”

“It’s none of your business.” 

“It is, as we share a daughter. And what now? Now that you’re fucking your boss, you’re too high and mighty to even stand up during a conversation?”

It was a  _ bad, _ bad idea. She should’ve known why. 

“I don’t think you’d want me to stand up.”

She scoffed, and looked at her watch. That was typical of her. 

“I have to go now, but we’re not done talking about this. Carol comes before anyone else.” She said, _ as if she hadn’t chosen Brock over their daughter multiple times. (Like all those times she had missed out on parent teacher conferences as she was way too busy fucking him somewhere to even care to show up).  _

But he wanted to be the bigger person. 

The sheer disgust she had on her face, made him wonder whether it was disgusting. The fact that he, was sleeping with a younger, gorgeous woman. Clearly way out of his league. 

He even thought so at times, when she was rolling her hips on top of him, praising him. Which was the last thing he should’ve been thinking about at that time. But he couldn’t help it. 

And as Dot left, not before saying goodbye to Carol, he was glad that was over. After the divorce they barely argued, as they avoided each other. Mostly him. But while they were married it was worse. 

Which was exactly why he admired couples like Sam and his wife. They were so devoted to each other, no matter how much time had passed. At times they truly seemed like newlyweds.

As he tended to the dishes he saw her from the corner of his eye. She walking closer to him, and stopped beside him, without saying anything. She just watched him as he washed the dishes one by one. 

He had no idea what she was thinking about. Her back was towards to sink, as she tried to make their eyes meet. She also had a cute side, mostly overshadowed by her undeniably sexy one. 

“There’s something bothering you.” She finally said after he rinsed the last plate. 

“Dot. She had a lot to say about… us.” 

“Please, She doesn’t like it because you’re clearly winning the breakup.” 

“I am?”

“You are.” She whispered as she hooked her fingers in the waistband of his sweatpants.  _ Oh _ . He watched her as she got down on her knees slowly pulling them down, making his breath hitch. 

_ She was a sight to behold.  _

“C-Carol’s home.” 

“I know, and that’s why you’ll be quiet.”

It was probably the most depraved thing he could’ve done. But he couldn’t help himself. She was already pulling his pants down, caressing his thighs, the ones he had grown to hate so much. 

She wasted no time in pulling his briefs down as well, making him sigh in relief. 

“Is this for me?” She smirked at the sight of his hard on slapping against his stomach.  _ Of course it was for her. No one had ever got him turned on as she did.  _

And as much as he wanted to reply, the only sound he managed to let out was a gasp as he felt her hand wrap around him. 

“I’m going to assume that’s a yes.” 

He hissed at the feeling of her mouth wrapped around the tip, testing the waters before she took him fully inside her mouth. 

“F-fuck… Y/N…”

“Shh Bucky…” Y/N said as she licked his tip before taking him in her mouth again. Her warm, wet mouth. It  _ almost _ felt as good as her pussy. She was just so good at sucking him off. 

“Y/N…” 

He tried to hold back his moans as he subconsciously rutted his hips meeting her movements. It was something he would’ve never done, it would’ve been imaginable, but there he was, in his kitchen, getting his dick sucked. 

“Where do you want to cum Bucky?” She asked him in the sultriest way possible. As if he wasn’t close already, without her talking to him like that. 

His breathing became ragged, and quick, as he tried his hardest not to let out a groan. 

“Do you want to cum in my mouth?” 

_ She was going to kill him one of those days. _

“Fuck yes.” 

She didn’t reply that time, she just giggled around him, stimulating him even more. It wasn’t long until he spilled himself inside her mouth, letting out a small groan. 

It definitely calmed him down from the crazy morning he had. Though just having her there in his home made all the craziness he had endured worth it. 

…

She stayed there for most of the day, at lunch as awkward as it was at first, really took a turn, once Carol had accepted the situation. Albeit she wasn’t fully convinced yet. 

It wasn’t like she was actively seeking Carol’s approval, but the fact that she didn’t react negatively made her happy. As she was a big part of Bucky’s life. Not that she was in Bucky’s life in any way. 

She was having sex with him. All the while having deep conversations and having candle lit dinners (which had only happened once, preceded by an impromptu prom). 

“We always do this.” He said when they sat on the couch, watching tv, after Carol had left to have dinner at a friends, leaving them alone. 

“Do what?” 

“Stay in and watch tv. And have sex.”

“I thought you liked that.” She said as she looked up to him, his eyes still fixed on the screen, and not on her. 

_ He seemed different… had something changed? _

“Yeah…”

“But…”

“Let’s go out some time.” 

Y/N didn’t expect that at all. She thought Bucky preferred staying inside and being intimate. Not going out and making a spectacle. He didn’t say that, but she knew it would’ve been, he should’ve known too. Wherever she went, cameras were on her. And they would’ve been on him too. 

“Why not.” She responded. “You should also invite Sam-“

_ Ring. Ring. Ring.  _

She was half glad at the fact that a phone call interrupted her. As she had no idea on how to deal with Bucky. She had never gone out with someone without an ulterior motive, such as further media exposure. Besides all of the people she had slept with had been perfectly content of being hidden. 

“What?” 

“You have to come here pronto.”  _ Loki _ . She hadn’t heard from him in a while. In fact she hadn’t heard from her old life in a while. Not since the island, and since Bucky happened. 

“I’m busy.” 

“It’s Nat. She has lost it. Telling everyone you’ve stopped partying, and that she has replaced you.”

In her bliss, she had almost forgotten about Natasha. Her best friend, whom she had no idea whether she still wanted to be part of her life. 

“Oh Natasha.”

She had expected her to react in some way, she didn’t expect anything less from her. 

“What happened between you two?”

“Nothing,” 

“Well it doesn’t seem like nothing. She’s gone insane, and you’ve disappeared off the face of the earth. I was starting to miss you.” 

“I need you to send a town car to Brooklyn.” 

“Brooklyn? Why the hell would you be in Brooklyn?” He asked as she heard him let out a small laugh. “Don’t tell me you’re…” 

“Yes. And you interrupted me.” 

“So you’re with regular guy. Is this the reason you’ve gone MIA?” 

“Part of it, yes. Now that I have answered your stupid questions, would you send me a town car?”

“I’ll see you soon then.” 

She put her phone away and looked towards Bucky. And it was as if he already knew. 

….

He knew it was a bad idea to bring up going out in public with her. She was a public figure and anything she did had repercussions. He should’ve thought of it more, as she wasn’t only sleeping with him but was also his boss. A Stark. And now she was gone, went back to the city. 

He knew it wasn’t his fault that she had left, but she did bring up Sam. Maybe she just didn’t want to be seen alone with him? Maybe she left to see someone else. He wouldn’t blame her if she did. He brushed the thought away and in his loneliness called Sam. 

“I thought you’d be busy.” He said as he answered. “ _ Honey, just pause the episode. I’m on the phone right now. _ ” 

“Sorry, are you busy?”

“Not really, we’re catching up on episodes of a cooking show. And before you judge, it’s actually interesting.”

“I wasn’t going to.” 

“Good. So why did you call?”

“Y/N.”

“I figured it’d be that.”

“I told her we’d be open. That we’d have an open relationship.”

“Are you serious? What is wrong with you. The first woman who sleeps with you since the divorce, whom you like, and you tell her she can go around as much as she likes? Do you have any idea how dumb you are?” 

“I don’t know what I was thinking. I figured she’s young, she doesn’t have to be stuck with a old man with body image issues. She can be with rockstars, Hollywood actors…”

“But she wasn’t. She chose to be ‘stuck’ with you. And now you’ve given her he green light to go around as she pleases.” 

He was right. Before he opened his stupid mouth, it was just the two of them. Or maybe he was overreacting. Maybe just because he had given her the green light didn’t necessarily mean she would’ve slept with others. 

“I can’t say anything now that we agreed upon it.”

“Just tell her you changed your mind. I’m sure she’d understand.” 

Maybe he was right, she would’ve understood. After all, she was the same Y/N who danced with him, slept in his same bed and made him breakfast. 

…..

The club looked different from what she remembered, which wasn’t much. By the time she set foot in it she was already a little drunk. Everything seemed underwhelming once she saw it sober. 

The stench of cigarettes and sweat invaded her nose, no wonder no one went there sober. It would be out of business. As she travelled through the sea of dancing bodies, grinding against each other,the striking lights making it hard for her to see where she was going. Though she knew the general direction. The VIP tables. Her usual space.

The memories of that place were faded, but she did remember fractions of the countless nights she had spent in there. The only time she wasn’t drunk off her face she ate Natasha out in the bathroom. 

She missed Natasha, there was no denying that. She had been there by her side for years. And her friendship actually meant something to her. It was her mistake to let their little arrangement continue more than the first night she had invited her in her bed. 

And there she was, at their usual table, as an attractive man whispered something in her ear (no doubt of a naughty nature), and her slapping his chest playfully. 

“Look who we have here...” She spoke seductively, followed by a girlish giggle. She was high. She could tell. As she pushed the tall man whom she had on her, she revealed her outfit she had chosen for the night. Barely existent. 

She could tell she wasn’t wearing a bra even with bad lighting. 

As it was a ‘skill’ she had acquired. And while usually the sight of Natasha making out with a gorgeous man would’ve made her jump at the chance, she didn’t have time for that. 

Something had changed. 

“Natasha,” Y/N said, she as clearly intoxicated. 

“Come on, have a drink with us.” Had she forgotten? How they parted ways? Or was this a coping mechanism? It probably wasn’t. Natasha had always been like that. 

“No thanks, I’m leaving. Loki called me-“

“Don’t tell me you’ve gone soft.” Natasha chuckled, as she knew exactly which buttons to push. She knew her well too. Maybe a little too much. 

“Never.” She said, reaching out for the bottle of Grey Goose, bringing it to her lips and chugging the clear liquid. She cringed at her taste, also at her action, as she wasn’t one to comply to someone else’s orders.“Satisfied?” 

“No.” 

“Can we talk Natasha?”

“Natasha… you only call me that when you’re disappointed or when you’re turned on…” Natasha wasn’t taking her seriously, as she bit her lip as a way to tempt her. “ _ So which is it?” _

“I’m serious. I think we should talk. Loki told me-“

“You? Serious? Y/N Stark, I thought I’d never see the day. Alright.” She said as she walked towards her, and she got so close Y/N could smell her breath. Cigarettes and booze, the usual. 

“I bet you to take that model home. No one has been able to do so, so far.” Nat pointed towards the bar, and she followed the direction of her finger. It was a beautiful woman in a little black dress, long legs, practically the embodiment of the words conventionally beautiful. “And when you do, I’ll let you have ‘your talk’.”

“It’ll be just talking.” 

“As if you’re capable of doing just talking.” 

  
  


She could’ve been anywhere else, and the first place that came to mind was Bucky’s house, and his warm bed. His hot body warming hers up. But instead she was at a club, trying to pick up a woman. 

And yet, instead of exiting the place, and dialing Bucky’s number, she walked up to the bar, where the God gorgeous woman stood. 

She guessed Loki was right, she had disappeared. And that was the last thing she wanted to do. Disappear and become irrelevant. 

She was Y/N Stark. She was expected to party, get arrested, fuck A listers. That was the reputation she had built over the years. 

“Hey.” She looked even better up close. 

“Not interested.” She scoffed dismissively as she didn’t even look at her, as if it were an automatic response. She could tell she had been rejecting multiple people. 

But she couldn’t reject her. And it wasn’t because of her ego. More so because no one had ever rejected her. At least not since she had become a Stark. 

“Y/N Stark.”

“ _ Stark _ ?” She asked, clearly amused. “The Y/N Stark?” 

“Yeah exactly.” 

“I have heard things about you.”

“I hope only the good things.” She smirked as she tried to flirt as effortlessly as she did, but when she did, Bucky always popped into her mind. “So what are you having?” 

“You know I’m still not going home with you.” 

“I know. But if you could do me a favor, and pretend you are. I really like someone already, but there’s this whole reputation thing. It’s complicated.” 

“Fine. As long as I can have a shake and fries, and an explanation. I’m a sucker for romance.” 

“Let’s head out then.” She guided her towards the exit, not before looking back at Nat and smirking at her in victory. 

She knew she wasn’t winning, but it sure felt like it. 

....

“So, tell me about this person. Is it a he or a she?”

“He.” Y/N said as she thanked the waitress for bringing their food. She would’ve never expected to sit in a diner, with a gorgeous woman without having any dirty thoughts. 

It somehow irritated her. 

“Pardon if I ask, but if you’re so taken by him, why are you out there pretending to be single?” 

“I am single. Just because I have feelings doesn’t mean I’m going to move in with him, and do some grand gesture. It’s not my thing.”

“God, you are exactly what I thought you were. Maybe even worse. At least when I heard about you from the other models, I heard you didn’t do feelings, and gave them the best nights of their lives. But this is not the Y/N I’m seeing. What I see is someone who has found someone whom they really like, but is scared.”

“What would you do about it, if you were Y/N?”

“If I were her, I would try to find compromises with the man I’m in  _ love _ with,” 

“Woah, pump the breaks. I never said  _ love _ .” 

“Fine. The man I have feelings for.” She corrected herself, then raised her eyebrows. “Better?”

“Much better. So you’re saying I have to compromise.”

“Not just that, there’s a lot you don’t know of.” 

“I don’t think I ever asked your name,” 

“Carol Danvers.”

And at that moment she couldn’t have been more happier that she hadn’t slept with said Carol, as it would’ve made things weird for her. 

  
  


…..

As she exited the diner, content with how the night had ended, she found herself ace to face with someone completely unexpected. 

“Nat? What are you-“

“I saw online you were here.” She said, her tone completely different from when she spoke to her at the club. “I think I owe you a talk.” 

“Listen I’m-“

“Let me start. I’m sorry. I know I can’t make you love me. But I’d still like to be your best friend.” Natasha caressed her cheek, as her eyes started to get glassy. It was strange to see her like that. Serious, and emotional. Two things she usually wasn’t.

And she didn’t object when her lips touched hers. 

_ What was one last time anyways? _


	19. You, Me and Everyone Else

_“Truth or dare?” A clearly drunk girl asked loudly as she nursed a bottle of Kahlua, as they sat in something that resembled a circle. More like an oval._

_Her attention was elsewhere, as she watched Natasha take a drag of the cigarette that had previously been lodged between her lips. She was mesmerizing. She was everything she wanted to be._

_“Truth.” She said as she let out a cloud of smoke, making the other people excited as they cheered for some reason._

_“The rumor going around about you and the college professor at NYU.” Y/N had heard about that through the halls of their school. The murmur during economics, and history. And maths. And English Lit. “Is it true?”_

“ _Maybe.”_

_That smirk. She knew how to tease people. She was the master at it._

_“Hey that’s not the game.” A guy objected, followed by a chorus of giggles. It was quite obvious to her that everyone was high, or drunk._

_“I didn’t deny it, did I?”_

_Everyone oohed, as Y/N just admired her. As she brought the cigarette back to her lips again, that time, she was staring back._

_“You naughty girl.”_

“ _Ok my turn.” Nat said as she put out the cigarette in her drink. “I dare Y/N to kiss me.”_

_They had done it before. It wasn’t like it was the_ _first time. But they were best friends, clearly without any boundaries._

_But never in public like that._

_It was just a game._

“ _C’mere.” She beckoned with her finger, as everyone whistled and cheered them on._

_God she had missed her lips. She was the first and only girl she had kissed, and she liked it. She was a really good kisser too. Y/N could tell she had plenty of practise._

_She tasted like weed and tobacco, a combination that would’ve made her gag if it wasn’t Nat. Nat’s hands sneaked down to her ass, as she started kneading it. She was really enjoying it. And so was everyone else._

_As time passed by, less people were part of the ‘circle’ until it came down to Nat, her and a couple of guys (who weren’t that awake either)._

_That was until she guided her back to the guest room where they were supposed to sleep in. Her heart was still racing because of the kiss, what she felt was pure electricity._

_The room wasn’t big, as it was mostly occupied bookshelves and a closet._

_Where were they supposed to sleep?_

_Her eyes darted to the small single bed which was surrounded by the bookshelves. If she had to sleep on the floor, there wasn’t much space, but there was enough for her, just if she didn’t roll around in her sleep._

“ _So there was one bed…” She said as she stripped down to her panties, making Y/N blush and look elsewhere, though it wasn’t much of a choice in that cramped space._

_“One bed…” she repeated as she recalled the last time they had shared a bed. The last time she had slept over at her place. Otherwise known as the the time her hand_ _grazed over her breast._

_“Are you gonna join me?” She asked her as she was already sat cross legged on the bed, in nothing but her underwear, without anything to cover her breasts. They were pretty to look at, and perky._

_She had never done that before. Sleep with Natasha, or any woman for that matter._

“ _It’s ok if you don’t want to.”_

_“I do. I just don’t know how.” She admitted, as a grin appeared on Natasha’s lips._

_“Come here, I’ll teach you.”_

  
  


“You remember that night?” Natasha asked her as took a sip of the cocktail she had prepared herself. “We were so young.” 

“Like it was yesterday.” She replied with a smile, still reminiscing the memory. “Those were good times.” 

“You were so clueless. You’ve improved a lot since then.” 

“Only because I had a good teacher.” It was like they were back to friends again, despite the little falling out they had, much like other times, they always found their way back to each other. 

She would’ve been lost without her. 

“You know I’d never try to take your place.” She said sincerely, and Y/N could tell she meant it. By simply the look in her eyes. She could tell how much Nat cared about her. And how stupid she had been to lead her on for all those years. 

“I know. You wouldn’t be able to handle it.”

“I wouldn’t. As glamorous as it seems, being myself is more than enough.” Nat said as she put her glass down on the coffee table. “Besides I don’t think the world can handle another Y/N Stark.”

…. 

‘ _Y/N Stark back amidst Manhattan’s glitterati, was seen mingling with fashion designer Loki Odinson at a club, before leaving with supermodel and actress Carol Danvers. Before concluding the night in grand fashion with socialite and party girl, Natasha Romanoff, as they were photographed kissing outside a diner.’_

Was the first thing that popped up when he had checked the day’s news. He had barely gotten out of bed, and there was already an article about her. 

He had told her to go for it himself. He wanted her to be with other people. But not so soon. 

Bucky felt his heart drop as he read the rest of the article. Which proceeded to list all of the people she had been with. He knew they didn’t mean anything to her, but it made him wonder if he was just another name to the list. 

That made it worse. 

In order to get his mind off things, he proceeded to do house work. But that only gave him more time to think. He shouldn’t have felt like that. Both Loki and Natasha were her close friends. Who just happened to get awfully close. 

And then there was Thor. Her hunky former bodyguard. And Steve Rogers, the gorgeous trophy husband. 

He was just Bucky. The guy who still used his childhood nickname, whose wife cheated on him out his coworker, the one with no special talent. 

….

‘ _We’re meeting Sam and his wife tonight. Are you free?”_

She had admit to herself that seeing a text from Bucky made her smile, but her smile immediately went away, as she was sure she must’ve have been photographed all over town with several people. 

Other Carol was right. She was scared. As it was uncharted territory. He was the reason why she didn’t sleep with other Carol, Loki or Natasha, or anyone else for that matter. As it was more than likely she would’ve imagined him at their place.

Though the good thing about their relationship was that it had no labels, so 

they did not have the same pressures as any other relationship. They could do whatever they wanted, without either one of them reading too much into it. 

“Sorry I got to take a rain check tonight. I’m going out.” She said as she put away her phone in her pocket. 

“You’re going out.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Like on a date?” 

There was a silence between them. Was she even ready to hear about her and someone else? 

“It’s ok I can handle it.” 

“Kind of.”

“So it’s kind of a date?”

“I don’t know. It’s complicated.”

“You always liked complicated. Probably the reason why we wouldn’t have worked out.” She said as she proposed herself up, and held out her hand. “Come we have to come up with outfits for your date.”

“You really want to help me get ready for a ‘date’?” 

“Not really, I wanted to see you change.” 

“I missed this.” Y/N said as she took her hand, as she led her to her room. For the first time in a non sexual context. 

“Me too.” 

  
  


….. 

  
  


Bucky grew increasingly nervous as he waited for her outside the bar he usually frequented with Sam, and his wife, before she got busy with her work and kids. Was she going to like it? Probably not. It wasn’t her scene. It was the opposite of glamorous and modern, but it was his. And as much he knew she wouldn’t have liked it, she agreed to meet him there. 

Maybe it was a rushed idea to make them meet that night. Especially after the events of the night before. But he couldn’t help but call Sam and ask if they could meet them that night. 

He wasn’t jealous. He hated that word. Jealous he had been once, and that was when his ex wife started coming around the precinct more, dressed like she used to when they had first started dating. All for Brock. 

But this time was different. Things were different. Y/N wasn’t Dot. 

As she stepped out of a regular cab, she looked different. Not in a bad way. And if he weren’t working in security, he wouldn’t have known it was her. She wore a black hoodie, with large sunglasses covering her eyes, with what looked like a sundress with flowers underneath.

“What?”

“You know I love whatever you wear, up but why do you look badly disguised?”

“Throws the paps off my scent. As if I’d ever be caught in something that hides my best features.” She said cheekily as she took her sunglasses off. “Which you have seen up and close.” 

“Yes I have, now let’s go. We’re kind of late.” 

“Sorry, traffic. Will you ever forgive me?” 

“Let’s see how it goes then I can tell you.” 

She chuckled as she followed behind him into the bar. 

…. 

She didn’t have much time looking around, as she was immediately met with Sam, and his wife. They looked adorable together as he had his arm around her waist, and they both were so smiley. They reminded her of Tony and Pepper (though she often fake gagged at them. 

  
  


“I’m Y/N.” She immediately introduced herself before Bucky could do it for her, holding out her hand for the tall woman beside Sam. 

“I know, I heard about you from Sam. But also the dress you wore last year to the MET Gala? Amazing.” She said with a genuine smile as they walked to their booth. 

As they started talking about the MET gala, their drinks arrived. It had never occurred to her how much events like that weren’t the norm. Though it was one of the most important events of the year, every year was the same. The same celebrities, different date, same press coverage. 

That was her routine. And while she sat out there, often complaining about her life, people had real lives. Real jobs they had gotten after preparing themselves for the interview. 

And the bar was different. But she could tell he much it meant to him. To Bucky. And so she could imagine him there. Maybe when he was a policeman, coming in after his shift ended, with Sam. Or when he was celebrating something, or just wanted a drink to calm his nerves. 

The place screamed Bucky. 

So she liked it. Not that she’d ever admit it if ever asked. 

“You know you still owe me a dance.” She told Sam who nodded, then started chuckling, bringing his beer bottle to his lips. 

“What did I miss.” His wife asked curiously as she squeezed a lemon slice into her coke. 

“So basically I thought your husband was a stripper Bucky got me that morning. I mean I never had a stripper that early in the morning but I’m always willing to try new things.” 

“I mean I had to see for myself the girl of his dreams. Quite literally.” He said as he eyed Bucky for a little too long, making him blush. 

“What does he mean by that?”

“I’ll tell you later.” Bucky reassured her. 

“Oh I know you will.”

“You two are really cute together.” She commented as she pointed between them. 

“We’re not together.” They said at the same time, making both Sam and his wife chuckle. 

_They weren’t together._

  
  


Sam quickly changed the conversation to their children, which Y/N was grateful for. They hadn’t labeled their relationship between them, there was no need to do it for other people. 

But she found herself wanting it. Though they could’ve never been normal. 

She didn’t know why she couldn’t see them together, at least not holding hands down the street, or introducing her to Tony and Pepper officially as more than her bodyguard.

She brought those thoughts to the ladies room, where she splashed water on her face. She had met his friends. Maybe it was time for him to meet hers. 

As she heard the door close behind her, she was immediately alerted to the presence of someone else in there with her. 

“Holy shit you scared me.” She exclaimed as she saw Bucky. What was he doing there? Could he sense there was something wrong?

“Sorry.” 

“I wasn’t expecting this, so I’m very pleased.” She said as she got closer her hands rubbing his chest. 

…..

He didn’t like the thought of someone else being with her, he hated it. And he hated feeling that way. She didn’t belong to him, and yet thinking about her with someone else. Not just Natasha did hurt him a little. 

It was his idea. He had no right to be upset. Not even a little bit. 

“Are you ok? You know you can tell me right?” 

_He needed to tell her._

But somehow the words didn’t come out. He didn’t want to screw things up with her just because he didn’t like her being with other people. The only reason why he said it was because he didn’t want to lose her. At least not when they had just started. 

He wasn’t even going to indulge. It wasn’t his thing. Not that any other woman would have looked his way. But she was more than enough for him. 

He was already lucky to even share her with other people. 

“I’m just happy you came to meet my friends.” 

“And you had to come to the bathroom to tell me?” 

“Uh…”

“Let me give you something to think about.” She purred as she pressed her lips against his. He didn’t mind that she tasted like onion rings and beer, he just wanted her. And he got her. 

And he felt things. Things he hadn’t felt in over a decade. 

Her lips felt soft against his, the kiss making him forget they were in the ladies room. As he felt her melt beneath his touch, she made him feel loved. And better than that morning. 

“Come on, let’s get the check and head back home.” 

“Home huh? I like the sound of that.” She chuckled as she walked out with him by her side. He truly felt blessed. 

  
  


….. 

  
  


“I had a lovely evening.” Y/N said as she hugged Sam and his wife goodbye. “I hope we can do this again.”

“Yes totally. You can come to our house sometime.” She told her before getting into their Prius, waving at them as they watched them drive off. 

As different it was, she loved every second of the night. From hearing about Bucky and Sam’s friendship, to hearing about how Sam proposed to her, it was as if she had known them for a while. There wasn’t a moment of the night she felt uncomfortable. And she was sober for the entirety of the evening. 

A huge milestone. 

As Bucky excused himself to answer a phone call, she walked towards his car, which she already recognised. The god awful car she hoped he’d change. She would’ve offered to buy him a new one, but she knew he would’ve refused. When everyone else would’ve jumped at the chance. 

“Nat?” She exclaimed as she saw a red head leaning onto Bucky’s car. Clearly waiting for her. She had watched too many spy films. 

How did she find her? 

“Nat please answer me.” 

“You’re…”

“What are you doing here.”

“I followed you, but you… you’re.” She said with a shocked face, as she kept pointing at her. 

“Shh.” 

“So you’re actually with…” 

“Not together together. We’re sleeping together.” That didn’t sound right when it came out of her mouth. The gist was that. They were having a little fun with one another, but it felt like there was more. 

What she felt with Bucky was nothing like what she felt with any other of her ‘conquests’. She didn’t feel the urge to kick him out of her bed, instead she wanted him to stay there as long as possible. And when they were alone, she didn’t necessarily just want to fuck him, she wanted to hear his voice, to talk to him. 

“Hello James.” She said with a normal voice as Bucky approached them with a confused look. She understand how he must’ve been confused, as she was as well. 

“Natasha.” 

“She knows. There’s no need to hide.” 

“Oh.” 

“Why don’t we all go to the city, maybe get a drink?” She suggested, as she shrugged.

So that was how she ended up in Bucky’s car, headed towards the city, as the moon rose above them. 

She would’ve been frustrated at the fact that she wasn’t headed to his house to cuddle him, but he looked so pretty when he was driving. 

His clear eyes concentrated in the road ahead. She would have looked at him for a very long time. 

“ _Don’t look at me like that.” He said, his fingers tapped against the steering wheel._

_“Like what?”_

_“You know, you still haven’t answered me.”_

_“Answered what?”_

“ _I told you I loved you. No pressure though, I understand it must be hard, it’s all new to you and I don’t want to-“_

_“I do.” She turned towards him, leaning onto her seat comfortably. “I don’t think I would be in a rental car driving away from the city with you if I didn’t.”_

_“I really want this for us. A future.”_

“ _Can’t say I haven’t thought about it. Maybe Paris, or Florence. Or better where nobody knows us.That would be the dream.”_

_“I hope you’ve told your father you’re going away for the week. I don’t want him_ _disliking me even more than he already does.”_

_“Which makes me like you even more.” She said with a smile. “And have you told your wife, and your daughter?”_

_“My wife thinks I’m on a business trip, but I think she knows. Since I told her it’s not working anymore. Because I’ve fallen for someone else.”_

“ _And who is she? Or he. I don’t judge,”_

“ _It’s a she. And she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid my eyes on. She makes me feel things again.”_

_“Ugh. She sounds boring. But I have the feeling things can get interesting if you fuck her brains out once you arrive to the hotel.”_

Her hand massaged his upper thigh as they stopped at a red light. She did it again, every time she felt something unnatural to her, she just resorted to her old tricks. The one thing she knew how to do well. 

Things were going to be different. She wasn’t going to let it become the same thing. It terrified her. Things with Bucky were different. 

Before she could do anything more, his hand stopped hers, before intertwining his fingers with hers. Holding her hand. 

_It was a new feeling_ , as it was the first time someone actually liked, had ever held her hand. And it troubled her to admit she liked it. 


	20. I Don’t Wanna Fall In Love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning(s): smut, (but it’s sweet but there’s still a warning), fluff, 
> 
> We’re at the 20th chapter! I’m so grateful to have so many people read this crazy story of mine. I initially thought no one was going to read it, and I would’ve still written it, but to have so many people read it and love it. 
> 
> I just can’t explain how happy you all make me. 💗💗
> 
> Also this chapter is a little longer than usual (5720 words oops)
> 
> The song I listened to while writing this chapter (and inspired the title) was Say You Love Me by Jessie Ware.

The party was at a penthouse, not at a club. And it wasn’t dark nor poorly lit. Though there were quite a few people getting drunk. She had no idea to who the penthouse belonged to, but it was big. Bigger than Natasha’s. 

People smiled at her and greeted her at the party, as if they never had the intention of replacing her with some other resourceful heiress (except she wasn’t one, as she had nothing to inherit). 

“Y/N!” She heard from the distance. _No. No. What was he doing there?_

She swore she saw him everywhere she went. It was endearing how he was so happy to see her every time. But she was there with Bucky. 

But they were pretending they weren’t as close as they were. 

“Thor, what are you doing here?” 

“It’s a party. I’m always at parties.” 

“Of course you are. Now excuse me, I had a long evening, I need to sit down and have a drink.” 

“Sit down? At a party? Let’s go around, mingle a little.” 

“Thor I can’t pretend with you anymore.” She said, as he started dragging her around to meet people. “Let’s just stop this.” 

“I’m good for you,” he said as if he truly meant it. The only one who was good for her was Bucky. “Plus we look really good together.” 

She didn’t respond, to avoid a scene, but every once in a while she’d look towards Bucky, who followed them around, for her safety of course. After all he was her bodyguard. She had nearly forgotten that. 

Every time her glass would be empty, she would fill it back up again with some kind of liquor, not caring what kind it was. It killed her to be there not being able to laugh with Bucky. 

The only person she wanted to talk to, with whom she had meaningful conversations, and even when they weren’t, they were always entertaining. She wasn’t pretending with him. 

But she was back in make believe land. Where she was the queen, surrounded by sycophants. She always used to like it, it was far away from real life she could possibly get, where nothing was off the table. 

Bucky. He made it all real. She didn’t want to say he changed her, because he didn’t. She didn’t feel changed. But he did show her that real life was decent enough to stay sober for. 

And the things she would’ve done to him if Natasha hadn’t showed up out of nowhere. She would’ve showed him how grateful she was for him. All night, and even in the morning when they woke up. 

Her thoughts were rudely interrupted when she felt Thor’s arm slowly slide around to her waist, gently pulling her towards his body, making her jolt. 

“What are you doing?” 

“What do you say we go and have some fun in the guest bedroom? Or the kitchen, your choice. For old time’s sake.” 

….

He saw Thor whispering into her ear, his arm wrapped around her waist. _It didn’t bother him._ He kept telling himself as he could peel his eyes off of them. 

_It was your idea. You told her she could see other people._

But it wasn’t easy on him. Especially if it was right in front of him. Though he couldn’t see any flirting from her part. Maybe she wasn’t going to give into Thor. Though the two had a lot of history together. They were never together together in the real sense of the term, but have been a part of each other’s _very_ private lives for the longest time. 

Until his firing. 

Which prompted Tony to hire him. 

Everybody loved Y/N and Thor together. Nobody even knew he was sleeping with her. Hell he doubted people even knew he was her bodyguard. They probably wondered who was that big man following her around like a lost puppy. 

The truth was, he didn’t want to make her feel like he was trapped. Back in his ay he had been with quite a few girls, but none like her. He wasn’t sure of what she wanted. 

And then he saw it. She lead him towards a door, which she opened and closed behind them. 

His heart shattered then and there. 

….

As the door shut behind them, she turned around to talk to him. She had no time to waste. She had to tell him. But the instant she opened her mouth, he kissed her out of nowhere. Which wasn’t exactly what she had expected when she told him she wanted to talk to him. 

But it was Thor. And he was unpredictable. 

“Thor what the fuck.” She exclaimed as she pushed him off of her. 

“You brought me here… I thought-“ 

“You got to stop taking the initiative.” She shook her head, rubbing her temples.

“I brought you here, because we’ve been seeing a lot of each other for a while now. I think next to Natasha you’re the person who has been a constant. I don’t think we should keep up whatever is between us.” 

“Why do I have the feeling that you’re breaking up with me?” 

“Because I kinda am.” It wasn’t like they ever went out, but it was the closest to going to with someone she had ever gotten. ”We did have a good run though.” 

“Though you were bitchy to me most of the time, I enjoyed it.” 

“You did?”

“Oh you have no idea.”

He said with a big smile on his face, maybe it was good for him too. To get a proper closure to what they used to have. It looked like he needed to hear it. 

“I came here to the party hoping I’d get something more than a talk from you.” 

She went on the tip of her toes (even in her heels he was way taller than her)and planted a kiss on his cheek. As a parting gift. A thank you, for everything he had done for her. 

“I wasn’t expecting that, but it was nice” He said as he gently placed his hand where she had kissed him. “I don’t think you’ve ever.” 

But he just said he came to the party hoping she’d be there. Did it mean he knew she was going to be there, though her decision was last minute? 

“Wait a second. You just said you came to the party because of me. But I had no plans to attend this party until earlier tonight.” 

“Natasha said.” He shrugged as everything started to add up in her mind. 

_Of course she did._

….

It didn’t take much to lure Natasha to the bathroom, previously she would’ve offered sex but that wasn’t on the table anymore, as they were only friends in the real sense of the word (not their fucked up version). She asked whether she wanted to touch up her makeup and she quickly obliged. 

She was such a perfectionist, and she took extreme care to look impeccable each night. Y/N sometimes wished she was like that. But often found herself tired after just putting eyeshadow on just one eye. 

Unfortunately for her, Y/N didn’t want to just touch up her face. 

“Why is Thor here?” She abruptly asked her once they were standing in front of the mirror, and she took out her compact and brush. 

“What do you mean? Thor’s always at parties, that’s basically all he does.” She replied casually as she put some more setting powder onto her cheeks. 

“Ok I invited him. I thought it’d be good publicity for you, since you went missing. Sorry I didn’t expect you to be so chummy with Mr. Bland over there. Who I remind you, you were trying to destroy. What happened to that?”

“Things changed, Bu-James, is different. And I’m not just saying that. He’s sweet, thoughtful, doesn’t use me for sex or fame. He’s been good to me.” 

Though the same couldn’t be said about herself. She hadn’t been good to him. All she did was hide him. When she didn’t want to. Was she subconsciously ashamed? It couldn’t be right? 

She had no idea how to act around him. Especially when he made her feel warm inside and it wasn’t just because she wanted to sleep with him. It was something more. And that something more always scared her. 

“That’s sweet, you know I’ve been waiting for you to feel like that with someone, I hoped that’d be me, but you just can’t.”

“Why the hell not?”

“I hope you haven’t gone blind as well as soft.” She scoffed. “He doesn’t look good with you.”

“I like him, Nat. That’s the end of it.” 

“You know how you say all press is good press.” She couldn’t believe it. She was now quoting her. “This won’t be. Your appeal is based on seeking a fantasy, this whole unattainable life. Being with Bucky will jeopardize all that.” 

“What if I want other things? Like starting a business.”

“Like the line of vodkas you released two years ago? Or the club we opened before that, which closed soon after because of that huge fight and the amount of drugs we hid in there.” It was the harsh truth, but she was right. 

“But the point is, people like us don’t start businesses. This country has an unhealthy obsession for what they can’t have, we are the ones they love to hate.”

She did have a point. 

As she did have the tendency to start things and never finish them. And the vodkas (which didn’t take off as she had initially planned) and the club- she didn’t quite plan through, weren’t the only ones. 

“And for you to continue whatever is going between you and James, is a bad idea.” 

“Can we not talk about this here?”

“You’re right. We should go back out there and get mad drunk, like we used to.” 

That was exactly what she needed. 

…..

As the night went on, he watched everyone get a little drunker as the time passed. People were dancing to the loud music, but his eyes were on her. The most beautiful woman at the party. And she was his. Not his, she wasn’t his possession. But she felt like she was, when they were alone. 

But apparently she wasn’t. He understood why. Thor was everything he wasn’t. Strong, handsome, young, with a body comparable to a statue’s. 

But the sight of her enjoying herself so much made those sentiments disappear for a while. The way she smiled when she heard the song she liked being played, made him smile to himself too. 

And then there she was, in front of him, as she handed him a glass.

“Come on, just have one innocent little drink. I’m the boss, and I fully consent to it.” She said, passing him a cup of whatever she was drinking. It smelled fruity and which masked whatever alcohol it was. 

He warily took the cup in his hand, analyzing the color. It was bright red, probably some crazy concoction. The familiar waft of berries made him take a small sip of the drink, the sweet fruitiness followed by a hint of bitterness. Not that he didn’t like it.

He wasn’t used to drinking things like that. Just the occasional beer when he hung out with Sam. But that was it. 

This as a new feeling. 

“Drink up.” Someone said as another glass appeared in his hands, and instead of putting it down, like he would’ve done, he chugged it. Still not knowing it’s contents. 

He needed it. Especially after seeing Y/N with Thor. Exiting a room together. What was supposed to be an empty room. 

The more he drunk, the more his feelings became bolder, and felt like a huge weight was being lifted off of his shoulders. He had no idea how he had ended up sitting on the couch leaning back beside a few people who were too drunk to dance. 

“I feel something in here.” He said as he continuously pointed at the center of his chest. 

“I have been for a while. I don’t think I’ve felt like this since Dot. She was my ex wife. Didn’t work out. She was fucking my co worker. It’s fine though.”

Bucky said, as he shrugged some of the liquid in his glass spilling on the floor.

“Because now there’s someone else. She’s beautiful. And she’s funny, she’s strong. Have I mentioned beautiful? Because she is. My heart just goes _crazy_ every time I see her.” 

He brought the glass to his lips, having grown accustomed to the bitter fruity taste. 

“I just don’t want to scare her. She’s so important. I don’t want to lose her.” He turned to face the person he had been talking to, who was passed out drunk. But that he did not know. 

“I think you know her. Her name is Y/N. I haven’t loved anyone since Dot, and there she comes into my life. I feel the same thing I used to feel for Dot back in the day. Maybe I am in love with her.” 

He nonchalantly shrugged as he reached out for the bottle of half full vodka on the coffee table. 

“But _shh…_ don’t tell her. I don’t she likes that word.” 

…. 

“Bucky? Where are you?” She roamed around the penthouse aimlessly. She wasn’t fully drunk yet, but she did feel like it was having an effect on her. She had worse nights. 

She hadn’t seen Bucky in a while. She wondered if he was ok, and whether he was doing fine wherever he had found himself in. He was probably making sure people were ok, and drinking enough water. 

Instead she found herself in for a surprise when she found him chatting to the passed out figure belonging to a trust fund dickhead she had hung out with one summer. 

“Bucky I think we need to go.” 

“She’s here now. Thanks for the talk. I have to go now.” She watched him pat his shoulder as he stood up and slowly walked towards her. 

“I think we should head home.” He repeated her same words making her giggle. It was strange seeing Bucky be like that. But she was glad he was letting loose. He needed it. 

They slowly made it out of the penthouse and into the elevator, it was by some miracle, as Bucky sat down on the elevator floor cross legged and stayed there until the doors opened. 

And once they were outside, it was as if it was the first time he had ever been outdoors. She somehow found it adorable, and funny at the same time. 

“I don’t think I can drive.” He slurred as he dropped his car keys. 

“Yeah no shit.” She replied, laughing. It was the best night of her life, hands down. 

“Here’s my phone, dial a cab. I need some air.” He said wide eyed making her madly giggle again. Bucky managed to hand her his phone, as he wandered around close by. 

Y/N was in no place to call people. She wasn’t completely clear headed herself. She would’ve been as drunk as Bucky was, if she hadn’t built up a high tolerance. 

She squinted her eyes, as she tried to find the number of a cab, tapping on a phone number in red amongst the ones in black. She figured since the red was bold enough for her to press on, that it would’ve been good enough. 

It ringed a couple of times before it picked up. 

“Hello, this is Y/N and Bucky James Barnes. I’m requesting your best taxi. Hopefully with some bottles of mineral water because we’re clearly drunk, well, he’s worse off than I am. We’re at-“ 

She kept talking telling them the address before she hung up, and waited in the night. 

….. 

“Are you sure you called us a taxi?” 

“Yes of course I did it.”

“Maybe they forgot?” 

As they talked a car stopped in front of them. _It wasn’t a taxi._ And the window belonging to the driver’s seat rolled down. 

It revealed a not so happy woman. She looked angry. 

_Dot_.

She had called Dot. 

“Come on, get in. I drove all the way here in the middle of the night.” Bucky mouthed a ‘what the fuck’ at her as she got in the backseat. There was no way she was going to sit at the front and endure her wrath. That was Bucky’s job. 

The drive was uncomfortable to say the least. It was extremely silent, and even Bucky, who had been very chatty up til then got silent. 

All she could hear was the sound of the car speeding through the road. 

“James I swear to God... what were you thinking? You know your drink limit is three.” Dot was the first to break the silence. At least it was something. Though she was scolding him as if he were five. 

“Lightweight.” Y/N remarked earning a dirty look from her from the rearview mirror. 

But she ignored her. 

“I thought you’d be more responsible. A party? I mean I’m not going to judge your lifestyle, we’re not together anymore. But I expected a little more from you.” 

“In his defense, it looked like he was having the time of his life. Though he was talking to a guy who was clearly passed out.” 

“He was passed out?” Bucky asked shocked as he turned back to face her. 

“Yeah, why didn’t you notice?”

“I thought he was just a good listener.” And that made her laugh hard. She wasn’t sure why, as it wasn’t the funniest joke she had heard ever. But it was funny nonetheless. 

“I’m glad you guys you had your fun. I just wish you didn’t wake me up in the middle of the night.” 

“You know Dot? You’re almost tolerable. But again, I’m drunk, so my judgement is a little off.”

“Careful. I can kick you out at any given time.” She spoke sincerely. Maybe the state of both of them made her more docile. “But even I am not that mean.” 

“Could’ve fooled me.” 

“Watch it.” 

“Why did you do it?” He spoke again, but now it was with a more serious tone. 

“Do what?” She replied dismissively.

“Leave me? Cheat on me.” 

“James, not here.”

“Why not? You’ve seen more of Y/N than you were supposed to.” 

“Ugh fine, just look another way. I find it unsettling that you’re staring at me.” 

As the window rolled down, and breeze immediately blew in her face, she watched the stars above how pretty and how well scattered in the sky they were. It meant it was going to be sunny. At least that was what she had been told to believe. 

_Because you were growing more distant. And I couldn’t stand-_

As stuck up and annoying she found her to be, she was right about one thing. It wasn’t her place to be there. The light buzz was still there, but not as strong as it used to be. 

_It was a mistake at first. We went out, and things just started to fall into place, I didn’t mean for any of it to happen._

She was glad Bucky had found the strength to confront her. Even with the help of liquid courage. He still did it. She knew it wasn’t easy. Especially hearing the facts from her. And it didn’t matter if he had gotten over her. She knew it must have hurt. 

It must have been hard for him. But looking at them, she could see the kind of family they were. There was proof in the photos he kept in the house. And in those they looked happy. 

It was possible to be happy with someone and everything changing the next. 

She knew about that. All too well. 

People fell apart. Whether they were friends or lovers. 

_Resentment_. 

She knew enough of that. Was resentment deep rooted into every relationship? It wasn’t possible. Though her father had been very dysfunctional, his relationship with Pepper was the sanest one she had seen so far. And it was in Manhattan. That meant something. Amongst the lying and cheating ways of the upper class. 

  
  


…..

“Shhh... Carol is sleeping.” Bucky shushed as they walked into his house, he tiptoed instead to make the least noise. But unfortunately for him, they had woken Carol up. 

“I’m right here.” Carol said as she crossed her arms, she was as confused to see her father and his boss/lover(?) drunk in her living room. “Are you two... drunk?”

The room filled with a fit of giggles, at which point Dot rubbed her temples. Carol looked horrified at the sight of her father clearly intoxicated. It was clear to Y/N she had never seen her father like that. 

“No, no.” Bucky said with a somewhat serious tone. “That would be incredibly irresponsible of us.”

“You totally are,”

“Just a little.” 

“Mom you can go now. I can handle this, I think.” 

After much convincing, Dot left the house, leaving Carol to fend for herself against the drunk adults. 

As Bucky went to sleep, passing out on the couch, with his pink lips slightly parted, she watched him with a glass of water in hand. A smile crept up on her lips as she brought the glass to them. It had probably been a while since he drank that much. Her mind was still buzzing, 

“Do need something else?” Carol asked with a blanket on her arm, putting it over her father. 

“I think I love him.” She said, before everything blacked out around her. 

And from that night, she remembered nothing else. But the word _love_. 

….

“It’s been a while I’ve been this hungover.” He said as he buried his head into couch, not wanting to see the light. He felt horribly, and he couldn't recall most of the night before. He did remember going out with Sam and his wife, and then going to a party in the city, but that was about it. He didn’t remember the details of the party. 

Which was bad. Extremely bad. 

He had ever been so unprofessional. What was he thinking, drinking on the job like that? 

And he felt terrible, as if his whole world was collapsing. It might have sounded dramatic, but that was how he felt. Absolutely horrible. 

“Good morning.” He heard Y/N say as she placed a glass of water and some pills on the coffee table. 

“Morning.” He grumbled as he turned around, trying to avoid light as much as possible. 

“I was thinking about taking Carol out, we kinda owe her after last night.” 

“Last night? What happened last night?”

“You really don’t remember?” She asked, giggling a little. _Why was she giggling?_

“No I don’t.” 

“It’s ok. I’ll fill you in, eventually.” 

“Y/N! I’m ready, let’s go.” Carol said as she rushed downstairs passing by the living room, a whiff of her perfume giving him a bad headache and the urge to hurl everything out. He was not feeling very well. 

“Bucky… are you ok?” She said as she crouched down and put her hand on his forehead. “No I’m going to stay at home and take care of you.” 

“The roles are reversed.” 

“Yeah.”

“But… you should go and spend time with Carol. I’ll be fine. I’ve done this before.” 

“Ok then. I’ll take Carol with me, and Happy is out to pick us up. But I’ll be back tonight.”

“You will?”

“Unless you don't want me to.” She gave him a peck on the lips and left. But it was something that put his mind off from his hangover. 

…. 

_Natasha's Penthouse apartment_. The location of most of their shenanigans looked a little different post them. Them as ‘two people who slept together’, not friends, because they were still best friends. 

Though she didn’t like how she talked about Bucky. She didn’t even know him. Maybe if she had the chance to know him better, she would’ve liked him, but she didn’t want that somehow. She wanted Bucky all to herself. Which was selfish. He wanted to keep things open. 

Carol instead looked around her entranced by everything she saw, and her eyes went even bigger when they entered Natasha’s place. 

“Wow this is incredible. I can’t believe I’m in Natasha Romanoff’s apartment.” 

“Y/N finally you’ve decided to visit us. Perfect timing actually, because I’m really horn-“ Loki hurriedly closed his robe shut at the sight of Carol there with Y/N, while Natasha looked at him with a wide grin. 

“Nat, Loki, this is Carol, James’ daughter.” 

“Hello Carol.” They both said in unison. 

“I’m Natasha. Nice to meet you.” 

“I’m a huge fan. I follow your Instagram.” Carol fangirled as her eyes went very wide with awe. Y/N didn’t blame her. Natasha was quite a beautiful person to look at. Probably even better looking than the pictures in the papers. They just didn’t do her complexion justice. 

“Wait why didn’t I get the same warm welcoming as her. This is unfair.” Y/N rolled her eyes as she walked towards the large leather couch before sitting comfortably on it. 

“Because you were mean to my father.” 

“I don’t think she’s so mean to him now.” Nat commented as she wiggled her eyebrows, making Loki furrow his in confusion. He still had no idea. 

“Wait… you know?” Carol exclaimed as shocked as she could be at the moment. 

“Of course I know. But how do you know?”

“I really want to say I’m just intuitive and smart, but I saw it right in front of me.” 

“Can somebody tell me what’s happening right now?” Loki interjected as he bit into a peach he got from the fruit bowl. “I hate to be the last one in on things. We’re supposed to be a team.” 

“My father and her are sleeping together. Ew it’s even grosser to say it out loud.” 

“Carol!” 

“Wait. James is the regular guy you set out to destroy but ended up falling in love with instead?” A smile painted his lips and she swore she would have thrown him out of the window. 

“Not love, Loki.” 

“Actually last night you-“

“Ok Carol, that’s enough talking for the day. Who wants to go out for a drink? I really need one right now.” 

….

“You know, now that your father and Y/N are seeing each other, she’s technically your stepmom. You can get a chunk of her trust fund.” Natasha after she got the drink from the bartender. 

They were the only ones in the bar, because they could. It was as simple as that. And as privileged as that sounded, she felt back home. With Loki and Natasha. 

And she still could enjoy her time with Bucky. 

She had the best of both worlds. 

“Hey _Anne of the Green Gables_ , stop putting ideas into her head.” 

“At least ask for town car privileges. It makes your life easier.” Natasha whispered to her to which she nodded. 

“I don’t know what I was thinking. Bringing you here. Nat is a bad influence.” 

“Says the one who’s dating her father.” 

“I am not.” 

“Yes you are.” Loki said with a mischievous smile. _That was why she didn’t want to tell anyone._ But now everyone who mattered did. 

“James and Y/N, sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, first comes love…” He sung, before stopping. “Actually first comes hate.” 

“Knock it out, before I start showing people videos of our ski trip two years ago.” And his demeanour changed, as he proceeded to finish his drink and stopped singing. “He really doesn’t like to be reminded of that.” 

“But isn’t that blackmail?” Carol asked her confusedly.

“Semantics.”

…

Their fun was cut short when Happy had come to pick them up. Carol didn’t want to leave just yet, she still had a lot of questions for her which had to be answered at another time. She had no idea they would’ve gotten so well with each other. And it scared her. 

Though it was cute. 

Nat had always told her she wasn’t good with kids. But she was. Granted the ‘kid’ was a sixteen year old who took care of two drunk adults the night before.

As she got home at Bucky’s, she eagerly reached his bathroom, already being well oriented with the whole place by how much time she had spent there. 

She needed a hot shower.

As she washed herself, she started thinking about Bucky. She wasn’t sure why. Probably because she was using his shampoo and she now smelled like him. 

The word love, was the last thing she remembered from the night before. It must have been the last thing on her mind. But was it associated fo someone? Or did she use it randomly to express love for something inanimate? 

She needed to know. Though she wasn’t sure yet. It always started with her heart pounding. Which all started from the island. Maybe even before. 

….

“Did you two have fun today?” He asked her as he closed the book he was reading and placed it on his night stand, when she crawled on his bed in only his shirt and a pair of panties. 

“Yes, we did. She likes Natasha more than me.” 

“Oh no, should I be worried?”

“Yeah. But she’s a smart and beautiful young woman. You raised her right.” 

“How was your day?” She asked him as she drew circles on his chest. 

“Let’s just say I’m never drinking like a frat boy ever again.” As he was describing his day, lame and uneventful, she looked at him as if he was everything. “What?”

“Your eyes. They’re beautiful.” She whispered as she looked at him through her lashes. “So is your face. I’m really not that great at giving compliments.” 

“I think that was good _enough_.” 

“Enough for what?”

“I think you know.” 

….

“Are you sure you want to do this.” 

“I do.” 

“You know you have to keep quiet right? You're not allowed to make as much noise as that time at the-“

“Are you purposefully bringing that up? You know I apologised to the owner and offered to buy everything.”

“I think I might have ruined the mood.” 

“Never. I’m still game if you are.” 

Their lips collided hungrily, and yet the moment they touched it didn’t feel rushed, nor primal. It was pure unadulterated passion. Each time she craved him more. 

It was impossible to believe he hadn’t been with anyone else since his divorce. Not when he made her feel the way he did. His hand was in her hair, as his tongue slowly slipped in her mouth, which moved in sync with his lips. 

On one hand, she was glad she was the first (since the divorce). She couldn’t imagine to know how she would’ve felt it he had gone out with someone else. 

She never believed what happened in movies was real, the romantic sex scene with the love song playing in the background. She knew she’d never get that in real life, but in that moment, she felt as if it was pretty close. 

There were no rose petals, or music, or candles, but it didn’t matter as all she could focus on in that moment, was him. It wasn’t just at that moment. He had become such a permanent fixture in her life, it was hard to imagine it without. 

She took off her shirt, the one she had ‘borrowed’ from Bucky to use at his place, though it looked much better on her than it ever did on him. 

“I’m starting to think you might like me.” She said as she smiled, looking into his eyes.

“What if I am? Would it be such a bad thing?”

“I don’t think so, no.” 

“Buck…” She moaned as quietly as she possibly could as she felt his lips on her neck, moving down to her collarbone. They were soft and gentle kisses. He wasn’t trying to mark her up. 

She felt his cock slide up and down her wet folds, as he panted against her neck. Pleasure too over her entire body when he entered her slowly, while his fingers paid attention to her clit. 

All while she listened to her heart as it drummed loudly in her ears, his soft blue eyes looking into hers, closing for a second, his pink lips parting in pleasure. 

He was so handsome. 

But it wasn’t the reason why she wanted him so much. 

“ _Bucky_.” She whispered, and as if he read her mind, his lips connected with hers, and moved in unison. She moaned against his lips as he started thrusting into her at a slow pace. 

She squeezed him tightly every time he moved back in her, and each time his pace accelerated. 

It wasn’t just sex. It didn’t feel like it. She knew his name, because she wanted to shout it from the roofs. She wanted to moan his name out loud when he made her come. 

The only sounds in the room were their quiet panting, which threatened to turn into a moan when he started to plunge into her, _faster, and faster, and faster…._

“I’m close.” She mewled making him graze his lips with hers, without them fully touching. Making her long for them. 

The tension in her slowly built up, as her pussy pulsed around him, squeezing him tighter, making him groan.

“Cum for me.” He growled. Growled. He never did that. And that was enough to make her come, with her lips latching onto his, moaning into his mouth to keep herself quiet. 

The sensation inundated every inch of her body making her arch her back against the mattress, into his body. It had always felt good, but never this good. It wasn’t anything crazy, or nothing she hadn’t done before. 

But it was spectacular. 

After a few more thrusts, he spilled inside her, filling her with his come. She loved when he did that. 

  
  
  


And when she went to sleep, with her heart beating so fast she swore she heard it in her dreams.


	21. That’s What You Get

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OMG I can’t believe this story has already hit 10k hits. I have received so much love while writing this story and I couldn’t thank each and every one of you enough. This story exists also because you encourage me and send me heartfelt messages.

“I asked for taupe, this is beige.” She pointed at the sheets displayed in front of her. As the young woman in front of her expected to get yelled at, but relaxed when she saw Y/N wasn’t mad at all. “It’s ok, it’s just a small detail.” 

The truth was that she was very nervous. She had invited Bucky to stay over at the Tower as everyone else had left for the weekend. 

She knew Stark Tower wasn’t as comforting of a place as Bucky’s home, which looked like a home. It didn’t feel much of a home to her either. It always reminded her of a hotel ever since the first time she had set foot there. 

As she watched Tony’s staff move around intent on making her living quarters, aka her apartment, look perfect for Bucky. And Carol. She insisted on both of them coming, as Carol was an important part of his life. 

So she wanted to open her home to the both of them. Much to his surprise. 

“I need the candles to be put around my room. Not too much. It doesn’t have to become a  _ Bath and Body Works _ . Just a casual amount of candles is good.” The interns nodded their heads quickly and scurried off. 

“I don’t recall Mr. Stark allowing you to use Stark Industries interns for your own purposes.” She heard Jarvis’s voice and when she turned around, he was right in front of her. 

“I took initiative. I thought you’d be more proud of me. Speaking of which I still need those fluffy towels from the spa. Will you get them for me?” She pleaded, as she batted her eyelashes dramatically. After all, Jarvis loved drama. “Please?”

“Is Mr. Barnes coming over?” 

“Yes-, wait how do you know this?” She hadn’t told anyone else. Except for Nat, Loki, Sam, his wife, and Carol. 

“It is my job, to know everything.”

“We weren’t obvious, were we?” 

“No, I’m just that perceptive.” He said with an all knowing smirk. That smug bastard. He was always one step further than her. In everything. 

“Just don’t tell Tony this time.” 

“I won’t. You’re putting effort into someone who isn’t yourself.”

“As much as I’d love to stay here and listen to you talk, I have a chef to talk to.” 

“I knew you liked him.” He muttered to himself as she left. She heard him, but decided it was best to not respond. As for once he was right. And she didn’t want him to get more smug than he already was.

  
  


“ _ The ‘Natasha’ should be virgin. She made it quite clear she’s sober now.” She said as she kept sipping from the straw. “And I think I specified I didn’t want these speakers, please get rid of them before I start breaking them.” She turned to a member of staff who hurriedly tended to the speakers.  _

_ “Is the DJ here yet?” She turned to Loki who lazily laid back with a glass of Chardonnay, being completely useless.  _

_ “No he’s not.” He said as he checked his phone. “I don’t even understand why you’re throwing her a party. Why not drop it in the hands of professionals.”  _

_ “I don’t know if you’ve heard about Bruce, the one who works with her father. He has some high profile job I can’t remember.”  _

_ “Oh the hottie Nat kept talking about for weeks?”  _

_ “Yeah. That one.”  _

_ A shocked look appeared on his face. “No. You wouldn’t… you naughty girl. You totally fucked his brains out.”  _

_ “He wanted to go to a place that had a good view of the city. My room happened to be it.”  _

_ “So this is why you’re throwing her a party. Because she found out?” _

_ “No, as a matter of fact, she has no idea. But I know the drill, some nosy fucker took pictures and next day I’ll be on Page Six.” _

_ “So you’re throwing her a party because it clears your conscience?”  _

_ “When you say it like that you make me sound like the bad guy.”  _

_ “It’s because-“  _

_ DING  _

_ Their eyes shot towards the elevator door opening, to reveal a man. Dressed casually, in jeans and a shirt. He was exactly her type. Tall, with big blue eyes.  _

_ “Oh there he is. The DJ.”  _

_ She walked towards him. He didn’t look like the average DJ, but he did look very handsome so that was enough for her. As long as his music was good.  _

_ “Thank God. We were just talking about you. I’ll have Jarvis help you set up.”  _

_ “Thank you, I’m looking forward to working here.” And he had a good attitude.  _

_ “You’re cute, I like it.”  _

_ “Excuse me?”  _

_ “Sorry what I meant was we should go out sometime. I’m sure you could fit me in your schedule.” The man looked extremely confused at seeing her ask him out. Maybe he didn’t recognise her, though highly unlikely. Everyone knew her.  _

_ “Mr. Beck. I was just coming down to pick you up.” Tony said, appearing from nowhere. Why was he coming down to pick up her DJ? “I see you’ve met my eldest daughter, Y/N. Y/N, this is Quentin Beck, Stark Industries’ new engineer.”  _

_ “Is he? Good for you.” He didn’t look like an engineer, but then she understood the reluctance to accept her offer.  _

_ “I just have to say it’s an honor to work for you and thank you for this opportunity.” _

  
  


She ran her hands over the cups of her bra, which perfectly pushed her breasts up. Out of all the lingerie sets she had ordered, the black one fit her the best. She sat back as professionals worked around her, as they did her hair and makeup. Perhaps it was a little much for just a night in. But it was with Bucky. 

She wanted to surprise him. 

As much she loved to hold his hand and watch movies with him, she still wanted to be rawed. She wanted him to make her scream his name so loud all of the city could hear. 

Just the thought of him doing all kinds of things to her made her hot. 

As she scribbled notes in her notebook (the one Bucky had gotten her for her birthday), she heard a knock at her door. 

“Mr. Barnes and Ms. Carol are waiting for you, I put them in your living room, with a selection of drinks.” Jarvis told her as she looked down at her phone. They were early. 

“Ok, I think I’m ready to go.” She said as the people around her stopped what they were doing, some giving her final touches before leaving politely. 

She looked like herself again, the put together version. The version of her that everyone wanted to be. Though to her, she looked different. This wasn’t like the other times she had prettied up for someone. She put on an oversized T-shirt before heading towards the living room, her stomach fluttered with each step she got closer. 

  
  


_ “Mr. Beck is here for you.” Jarvis spoke, her eyes leaving her compact mirror to face him. He wore a condescending look, as always. “He’s in the lobby. Should I call him up?”  _

_ “If you have something to say, say it. It’s not like you’ve ever held back.”  _

_ “Whatever this is, inviting Mr. Beck here after hours, is a bad idea.”  _

_ “Thank you Jarvis, for your indispensable input, but he’s here to help me with a computer.”  _

_ “If so, I can call one of the Stark Industries I.T-” _

_ “Mr. Beck is the best, and I deserve nothing but the best, don’t I?”  _

_ “Yes but-” _

_ “Yes is the correct answer. Can you have him sent here? I’d hate to be late.”  _

_ As weeks passed since she had met the man, Y/N had become increasingly intrigued with him. He was attractive. Probably the best looking engineer Tony had ever hired. And from what she had heard at the dinner table for the few times she was there, he was very good at his job.  _

_ There had been an incessant mention of his ‘skilled hands’. And she wanted him to prove it. She wasn’t used to not getting something immediately after she set her eyes on it. Which applied to both things, and to people.  _

_ She was used to having everything fall into her hands.  _

_ But not him. He was resisting. Though she noticed the occasional look he gave her. They didn’t talk much, as he was there to work, but she found herself going to the Stark Industries floors just to get a look of him.  _

_ And more importantly, for him to get a good look at her.  _

_ It was a week after they had met she had discovered the existence of a Mrs. Beck. Not that she cared. She had plenty of married men, whether they were happily married or not. To them she was the young, attractive woman they just couldn’t resist having a taste of.  _

_ “Ms. Stark.” Her head turned to where the voice came from. He looked good casually dressed.  _

_ “Mr. Beck, please call me Y/N.” A smirk appeared on her face. It was going to be fun. She was already entertained.  _

_ “If that’s the case, call me Quentin. It makes me feel comfortable.”  _

_ “Ok Quentin.” His name rolled of her tongue perfectly, as if it was meant to be said by her.  _

_ “So what can I help you with?”  _

_ “I have a problem that needs fixing. It’s not going to take long.” She said as sweetly as possible, as she twirled a lock of hair. _

_ “How long do you need me to stay?” _

_ “Depends. One hour, two… all night long.”  _

_ Her fingers went to her blouse, as she slowly unbuttoned each one slowly, giving him a good view of her cleavage.  _

_ “Y/N…” _

_ “Tell me you haven’t thought about it.” She said as she ran a hand over her breast. “That I imagined it all.” _

_ “I’m married.”  _

_ ‘I’m not asking you to marry me.” She chuckled lightly, as she gave him a good view of what was underneath her tight pencil skirt. Nothing. “I’m just telling you, you can do anything you want to me. Right here on this conference table.”  _

_ “Why do you think I didn’t bothering wearing any panties?” She saw his Adam’s Apple bob, as his eyes went straight to her bare pussy. Wet and ready for him. _

_ It was just a matter of seconds, until he had his hands on her, propping her on the conference table.  _

_ “I want you.” He growled as, his hands all over her, one squeezed her breast as he breathed out in the most sensual way possible. “Wait there’s a camera… and it’s glass.”  _

_ “You’re perceptive. No wonder you got hired here. But I turned the CCTV cameras off and nobody can look in, but we can look out. We can always deactivate everything and let everyone see everything. It’s still 9PM, people are still around the office.”  _

_ “But it would be a damn shame for Stark Industries to lose such a valuable… member.” She said as she palmed the sizeable tent in his pants.  _

“I’m really glad you’re here.” She said as she kissed him on his cheek. “You too Carol. Do you want anything? A drink, food, a massage…” 

“From you…?” Bucky’s raised his eyebrow, making Y/N smirk at where his mind went. Either he was already dirty minded or she had corrupted him. 

Though there was a chance he was already that way, by the way he knew his way around her body. 

“No, from a masseuse in the tower. But sure, I can give you a massage.” 

“Ok, gross. I’d like to be somewhere else please.” 

“Happy, you’ve met Carol.” 

“Yes, it’s nice to see you again.” 

“I just can’t believe I’ve met Happy Hogan twice now.” 

“I like her. She’s nice.” 

“Ok why didn’t she have the same reaction to me?” “Can you show her around Stark Industries? You know the place by heart.” 

“Yes I do, 

  
  


“What should we do in the meantime?”

……. 

When she emerged from the water, it pushed her hair back showing her face. Bucky watched her every move from the wooden deckchair. Completely dressed, while she had discarded everything, leaving her in nothing but her panties. 

“Are you coming in?” She asked, as she bit her lip, beckoning him. 

Her body was completely engulfed in the warm water she didn’t want to leave. All she needed was for him to join her in there. 

“I don’t have a bathing suit.” 

“You have your underwear.” 

“I won’t have any underwear afterwards.” He argued as he smiled. At least he was having fun. 

“I don’t think that’ll be a problem.” 

He seemed to change his mind, as his feet slowly dipped in the water, realising it was warm all along. Before slowly descending into the water, until he was completely inside. Right in front of her. 

There wasn’t much space left in between them, their lips barely grazing each other, her breath heavy…

_ SPLASH _

Her face was completely drenched in water she thanked God she was wearing waterproof, otherwise she would’ve looked like a melted mess.

“Bucky!” She gasped as he splashed her in the face once again. “Is this how you want to play?” 

She splashed water in his face completely wetting his face and hair, which matted against his head.

“Oh, you’re so gonna get it.” He said as squealed as she tried to run away from him, the water making it harder for her to do so. 

Once he had caught up to her (which didn’t take that much), he lifted her in his arms, which was a nice way to finish the game. 

“Ok I give up.” She laughed, still in his arms. 

“I win.”

“Come on, let’s get out.” Her hard nipples pressed against his chest, and by the look in his eyes she was sure he felt them. “So you can claim your prize.” 

….

“Remember when you just started I had a pool party here, and I tried albeit unsuccessfully to seduce you?” 

“Was that what it was?” 

“Yeah” 

She felt the fluffy texture of the towel wipe the moisture off of her neck, she gasped as she felt his lips press down the side of her neck on the spot he had just dried.

That was unexpected. But she liked it. 

Instead of continuing to kiss her neck like she wanted his lips were gone, instead he continued to wipe her shoulder, where cold droplets fell from her hair. His fingers put her hair to the side, so he could wipe her shoulder. His touch was gentle, but she liked how warm they were. 

Before she could notice, his touch was once again replaced by his lips, kissing her shoulder. He was doing it on purpose. She knew it because he made sure she heard it. 

His fingers went up and down her arm, it was nothing dirty, it was enough to turn her on. Her breath hitched as the way he grazed her skin tickled her. 

“Don’t tease.” She warned him as she felt the intensity of his touch. She wanted more. 

“I’m not.” 

“You want me to do you?” 

“You mean dry me?”

“I stand by what I just said.” She said as she bend down to the deckchair to get his towel letting him see the way her wet panties stuck to her ass, outlining  _ everything _ . 

  
  


…. 

_ For heaven’s sake _ . He knew it was rude to stare like that, but he couldn’t help himself. The way she bent over, he could see her by the way the material clung to her pussy. 

She was a goddess. And he knew exactly what she was doing. She looked at him mischievously, before she picked up his towel. 

“Let’s get you dried up.” The towel gently rubbed against his skin, first she went for his chest, then she travelled further down. He got what she was doing, it was payback. 

He was so focused on the fluffiness of the towel it wasn’t until he felt the cool breeze against his ass he realized she had pulled his briefs down his legs. Exposing him completely. 

“Oops, I guess they just fell.” 

But they didn’t  _ just _ fall. She had no idea what she was doing to him. She ran the towel down his legs, his inner thighs, ever so dangerously close to his semi hard member, but never coming too close to touching it. 

She was playing a dangerous game. 

That was when he grabbed her wrist. A little too tightly. He wanted to apologise but he was so turned on he was afraid it would ruin the moment. 

“Stop it.” 

“So  _ Sir Tease A Lot _ doesn’t like it when I tease him back. Are you going to do something about it?”

“As a matter of fact, I will.” 

  
  


“You know I still have your magazine cover in my nightstand.” He wished he could take that back. He sounded desperate and not at all smooth as he imagined himself to be in his head. 

“I do. Carol told me you had it.” 

“She did? I got to stop leaving stuff around.” 

“Good thing you saw the real thing up close. Is it better than the magazine.” 

“Way better.”

His hands smoothed over her legs, which still had a few droplets, but his focus was far more on her panties which he slid down her legs, leaving them dangling on one of her ankles, as his attention was diverted to her pussy. 

He threw one leg over his shoulder, as he placed his face right in front of her core. Which glistened with her juices, she was spread in front of him, for him only. His fingers teased her folds, making her bite back a moan. He still hadn’t gotten used to how hot she looked when she was in pleasure. 

He dipped a finger barely inside of her, just to collect some of her wetness, before bringing it to his mouth. 

“You taste so sweet.” He commented making her beg for him. He indulged himself into tasting a little more. That time with his tongue, dragging it languidly from her entrance to her clit. Over and over again, before sucking on her bundle of nerves. And repeated it ad nauseam until he felt her shaking under him. 

“ _ Oh Bucky _ .” 

The only sounds that were clear to him were her soft moans and the wet sounds of his tongue licking her pussy. 

“Yes just like that.” She moaned as he dipped two fingers inside of her moving them in sync with his mouth. She was now putty in his hands. 

She looked so pretty with her hands on her breasts, massaging them as her mouth parted in pleasure. It was a sight to behold, and one he would’ve remembered for a long time. 

He felt her pulse around his fingers, until she completely came apart. He took it fingers out as he watch her clamp around nothing. 

…. 

She clamped her legs shut as she felt her orgasm vibrating throughout her whole body. It was so intense she was still feeling it, and as she came down from the high, she felt the cold breeze on her body. She just had one of the best orgasms in her life and she was trembling because she had jumped into the heated pool quite impulsively.

She quickly covered herself in a robe, and watched Bucky as he did the same, collecting his wet underwear, before walking inside.

As they walked down to her living quarters, he leaned down to kiss her, his lips still glistening with her arousal. She tasted like nothing, which was quite disappointing as many claimed her to taste sweet as honey. 

They both jumped in surprise once the elevator doors opened, to reveal Carol waiting for them with her arms crossed. 

“I was waiting for you two to come down. I’m hungry.” 

“Ok then, let’s go eat.” 

“I don’t think I have much of an appetite. I just ate.” He winked at her as his hand fell on her ass. Completely unexpected, but appreciated. 

“Why would you eat before dinner?” Carol asked absent mindedly, totally clueless of what had just happened. 

“I was craving something sweet. You know how I am.” 

…..

She couldn’t take her eyes off of him throughout dinner. She didn’t expect him to be so good at eating pussy. Perhaps he had a lot of experience. He did use to look like a ladies man back in his police academy days. 

She wondered how many others had the privilege of feeling him so intimately. 

All the while Carol was gushing about the Tower. Though she didn’t know exactly what she was saying, as she was far more busy looking at Bucky than she was listening to her. 

“You have access to all of this, but don’t use it?” 

“No I’m usually not here, I don’t like it that much.”

“When you have a place like this, what’s not to like?”

She smiled at her. Carol reminded her of herself. Except for the fact that she wasn’t as smart or responsible as she was at her age. Though she used to think the same. 

She came into a new world wide eyed and naive. Completely unaware of how things were done. As a sixteen year old, all she wanted was to spend time getting to know her new family. Not left in the care of Jarvis, and Happy (as much as she liked them) and occasionally Pepper. 

The opulence was a distraction from how much she was lacking. She wasn’t normal. She had never been regular. She had been reminded of that constantly back home. And in New York, she was a new kind of different. 

But at least it was the kind of different people wanted to be associated with. 

“Maybe you can come here more often and use anything you want.” 

“Are you kidding?” 

“No I’m not, seeing as I’m often at your place, I don’t see why you can’t spend time here.”

The rest of the night had sailed smoothly, it was better than she could’ve ever imagined. Carol seemed to really enjoy herself and she was glad. As she was a good person, and also she was Bucky’s daughter. The most important person in his life, and somehow she wanted to be liked by her. 

As ridiculous as that sounded, Y/N wanted to be liked by a sixteen year old. 

She smiled, as she got ready to go to sleep, Bucky getting ready for the night in her bathroom. Somehow it felt strange having him there. She was so used to being with him in Brooklyn, having him in her home was different. 

He fit in perfectly even in Manhattan. He knew the place already but he wasn’t turned off by the opulence, her independence, or her stubbornness. 

It seemed as if it didn’t matter where they were, as long as they were by each other’s side. 

She wanted him in Manhattan as much as possible. As much as his life back home let him. Maybe let him sleep over more often. She reached down to pick up his duffel bag, as she ward something heavy fall flat on the floor. 

_ A book.  _

She picked it up just out of pure curiosity read the title. A dieting book. 

“ _ Y/N?” _

…...

She looked mortified. Probably not more than he was. He didn’t want her to find it, and he shouldn’t have left it in his duffel bag. 

“Bucky…” She said as she still held the book in her hands. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pried.” 

“It’s fine. I’m just trying to go on a diet.” It was more than that. He had been doing it whenever he could find some time. But his work schedule made it hard to do so. 

As much Sam tried to convince him Y/N liked him for him and that she was nothing like Dot, but he still couldn’t help but compare himself to men in her past like Thor and Steve. Those were the kind of men women wanted to be with.

It didn’t help either to see so many gossip sites posting stories on how she is seeing new people each week. 

“If that’s what you really want, then I’ll support you. But if you don’t want to, I’ll support you either way. It wouldn’t change how I feel.” 

Those words were the reassuring words he wanted to hear from her. But he knew the moment he would’ve seen something online about her and somebody else, he would’ve gone paranoid again.

And he hated himself for it. He knew it wasn’t her fault. She couldn’t control what Elle wrote about her, but it still stung. 

“You sure know how to make me feel good.” 

“I can’t help it if you’re so handsome.” 

“Now you’re just saying that because I’m right here.” 

“I…” She began to say, before she stopped to stare into his eyes. She looked a little scared. Not uncomfortable, but scared. As if she had just stopped herself from saying something that would’ve changed everything. “I do care about you Bucky. I want you to know that.” 

“I know you do.”  _ And I love you for that.  _

He thought to himself as they got into bed and stayed awake, burdened by his thoughts. His heart already knew what he wasn’t ready to admit. He loved her, and though there was no way he could tell her, he knew deep inside that he really did. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If it wasn’t clear, the man from previous flashbacks (including the one who told her he loved her) was Quentin Beck.


	22. Hello, Goodbye

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There’s a skippable gratuitous smut scene (which is irrelevant to the plot), but I just couldn’t help myself. 
> 
> I love you all. 💗💗

_The Annual Influential Women’s Luncheon._ It’s invitation sat on top of the coffee table, addressed to one _Ms. Y/N Stark_. When it arrived, it was beautiful, the paper in cream, with golden edges. She could tell someone (with excellent penmanship) had taken a lot of time writing everything pertinent on there. 

Most women cherished their invitations, treasuring them forever, some even framed them, as it was one of the highest honors a woman in the city could ever receive. 

Except for hers, which sat at the coffee table, previously used as a coaster. In fact there was a light brown circle on the center of the invitation, completely ruining it. 

Y/N couldn’t care less of the luncheon. It was some stupid event she never got invited to as the people who organised it didn’t approve of her lifestyle. 

However Pepper had relinquished of her invitation as she had a business trip to Melbourne coming up, and had left her with the ‘honor’ of attending. 

It was another of those things she deemed a complete waste of time. A ploy to inflate the egos of women whose egos didn’t need more inflating. 

As much she hated the formality of the event, she had to attend. She had given her word to Pepper. And as much she didn’t get on with Tony, didn’t mean she didn’t get on with his wife. She was ok. 

She touched the smooth skin of her face. She was grateful to have people do her makeup and decide her dress. She would have been completely lost without them. She looked at the periwinkle dress they had sent in for her. Completely not her color. 

It wasn’t something she would have usually worn, but the event was also one she would’ve usually attended. If not for Pepper. 

“This arrived for you.” Bucky said as he presented her with a shallow box. “It has no name.” 

“Thank you Bucky.” She smiled at him as he closed the door once again. Leaving her alone in her room. 

She opened the black box, revealing a gorgeous red satin dress. And a card. 

‘ _Saw this, and thought of you.’_

With no signature. And it wasn’t the first time. She recalled the same thing happening before the gala. A dress arriving with a card, no name. As odd it seemed, she couldn’t deny how beautiful the dress would’ve looked on her, and she had the perfect strappy heels to match. 

…. 

“Y/N? You’re running late. We had to be in the car just about five minutes ago.” 

“Come in, and help me with this.” 

As he entered, he felt as if the wind had been knocked out of him. He was unable to breathe. 

There she stood in front of the large mirror, struggling to tie the dress behind her neck. It was a backless dress, revealing everything until the small of her back. All he could think of was how he wanted to run his hands down her back. 

“There you are… can you help me?”

He nodded and took over for her, tying the dress in a neat bow. 

“Aren’t you skilled.” She bit her bottom lip, her eyes never leaving his. It felt so intimate, although they had been much closer before. 

“I have a daughter. This is nothing.” 

“Don’t tell me you’re also capable of braiding hair.” 

“French or Dutch?”

She chuckled, and he accidentally touched her warm skin just as he finished tying up her dress. 

“You’re a man of many skills. I like that.” 

“What do you think about the dress?” She asked as he took a few steps back to let her turn around and show him the magnificence of the dress. How effortlessly it flowed, making her look like a goddess. 

“I have no words.” 

“Then it’s good right?” She asked as she bent over to get her bracelet, then innocently looking at him as she put it on. 

“Y-yeah. You could say that.”

“We have to go don’t we? This is the one event they won’t appreciate me being late.” 

“We should go.” 

“Wait a sec.” She held onto his shoulders and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. He liked the waxy feel her lipstick left on them. He longed for a longer kiss, but even the short ones took his breath away. 

“What was that for.” 

She smiled, her eyes were too. She walked over to the door, and looked over her shoulder. 

“Now we can go.” 

She said. She hadn’t said much, and yet, it meant so much to him. 

  
  


…..

  
  


“I hate these things.” She scoffed as she grabbed a glass of champagne from a waiter passing by. 

He could tell it was an event of great significance by the attention to detail it was given. From the lighting, to the tiny food, to the opulently dressed invitees. 

As they made their way around the room, he could tell the animosity they had towards Y/N. The way they whispered when they saw her there. And yet she walked as confidently as ever. 

It saddened him a little to know she was used to such hostility. She deserved none of it. 

Out of all the ‘influential women’ in the room, Y/N looked the best. An ethereal being among mortals. 

“You’d think with all the money that goes to this, they’d at least serve decent champagne.”

“So it’s the first time you’ve been here?”

“Yes, I’m glad I’m having my first time with you.” She paused to look at him, as if she wanted to tell him more. “These women would never invite me. Pepper just couldn’t attend this year so she made me come in her place. I can imagine how ecstatic these women are to see me here…”

“They should be, you’re an amazing woman. This is your place.” 

“Thank you. You’re really sweet.”

“I’m just being honest. They’re lucky to have you here. Look at them, they all look the same.” 

“That’s because they all go to the same doctor.” 

“Was that a joke or was it real?” 

“Mostly. You see her?” She asked pointing a woman with a large bosom and blonde hair carefully put in an intricate updo, and Bucky nodded. “Every time her husband cheats on her, she gets something done.” 

“How many _things_ has she done?”

“I think we’ve all lost count.” She said, as they both chuckled. It was the first time at that event he has seen a hint of a smile on her. 

“What about her?” He asked as he pointed at a woman in a modest navy dress. 

“Well she’s a human rights lawyer. I’ve seen her around. And by around I mean around, around. Her husband and her sleep with the same people, at the same time.”

“Really? She looks… innocent.” 

“That’s the thing. Every single one in here has a private life, but when I’m about mine, they don’t appreciate it. I like it this way. I think having so many secrets can take a toll on you.” She said, but halted before she could say more. As if she had regretted what had just come out of her mouth. 

….. 

_Secrets_. She was one to talk. When she had the biggest one out of all. These women had secrets that equated to the life she broadcasted. But the secret she kept from the world was terrible. 

“ ** _You ruined my life._** ” She could hear her voice. “ ** _Mine, my daughter’s and my husband’s.”_**

It would sometimes come to haunt her back, prompting her to consume copious amounts of alcohol to stay sane. Too keep the memory away. 

She wanted to tell Bucky. But she knew he would’ve hated her. She already acted herself for what had happened. 

She didn’t want someone she cared for so much to hate her. She needed him in her life. 

As she reached out for another glass, she was faced with the last person she wanted to see in that moment. 

_Peggy Carter._

_“Y/N_.” There she was, the influential woman of the year, two years in a row. She knew why. With her overall polished look it was impossible to think of her as otherwise. 

She lived in the Upper East Side, ran a (somewhat) successful company, vacationed at St. Barths every year and had the most gorgeous husband out of all the women in the room. 

But she knew it was all a farce. Her vacations were fully out of the company’s pocket and her husband had quite the wandering eye.

And right there next to her stood the blond man she most remembered being in between her legs. 

Panting as he maneuvered her in the backseat of his town car, his driver pretending not to hear, but obviously hearing everything. And that turned him on. He loved knowing there was someone to witness his trysts. 

  
  
  


“ _Oh Steve…” She moaned as he hovered over her in the backseat of the car. They had just landed in Rome, and despite joining the mile high club over and over again, it seemed like he wasn’t yet satisfied._

_“You have such a beautiful body. I’m gonna fuck you in every corner of the city.”_

_“Isn’t that why you flew m_ e _to the other side of the ocean?”_

_“Touché.” He chuckled as he proceeded to kiss down her neckline, down to her breasts. Eagerly sucking on her nipple, his teeth grazing it a little, intensifying her pleasure._

_Her dress was bunched up to her waist, as she revealed her bare pussy, as he had insisted to take her panties off at the airport lounge, making her go commando for the eight hour flight (so that she’d be ready to go at any time)._

“ _You’re still wet princess.” Steve teased her with a shit eating grin. “The six rounds on the plane weren’t enough, were they?”_

_She hated pet names so much, but hearing from them, with his voice, was entirely different._

“ _Let me hear your pretty moans.”_

_“The driver-“_

“ _You’re shy now? I’m pretty sure the cabin crew has heard all of the pretty sounds you make when you’re stretched around my cock.”_

_“Steve!” She gasped as she felt his fingers prodding at her wet entrance. They went up and down her slit, teasing her bundle of nerves making her tense up._

_He was wasted on Peggy. He deserved a woman who could handle him. And she was it._

_“That’s it. Let everyone hear what a dirty girl you are.” He said, gritting his teeth as he pushed two thick fingers in her without warning._

_“Fuck Steve.”_

“ _What did I tell you to call me?” He spanked her pussy, making her moan in pain and pleasure. Him being so rough on her turned her on._

_“Sir.”_

“ _That’s right you dirty little girl.” His fingers moved inside her at a fast pace all at a sudden. It was too much. She was still sensitive from before._

_Ever since she had called him ‘sir’ rather innocently at a Christmas party, he made her call him that whenever they fucked._

_“Please let me come. Please.”_

“ _Ask me nicely.”_

_“Please Sir, let me come all over your fingers.”_

“ _Can’t let you do that sweetheart.” He growled as he took his fingers out leaving her empty, clenching around anything. His cock was taken out from its confines, making her mouth water._

_Just as she tried to put her mouth around him, he stopped her._

_“Maybe next time princess.” He tapped his lap. He wanted her to ride him, and though there was barely any space, his wish was her command. “Come here.”_

_She straddled him, as the car kept moving on the bumpy road. One bump in particular made him sheathe inside of her, making her moan loudly, at that point she had no care for who heard her._

“ _You still want more huh? No matter how much I already gave you, you still crave my cock.” He was rougher, as he thrusted his hips upwards hitting her sweet spot. “Answer me sweetheart, isn’t that true?”_

“ _Yes! I want your cock so much.” She cried._

“ _Yes, What?”_

_“YES SIR!”_

“ _I think I need some fresh air, don’t you think?” Though her eyes were mostly unfocused, she knew what was to come. He was devious. “Let me open the window.”_

_“N-no…”_

“ _No?” Steve mocked her. It was scary how much he changed in the throes of passion. ‘‘Look outside, at how beautiful it is.”_

_He was right, the city was beautiful. The city was alive with the sounds of the locals going about their day, tourists snapping away with their smartphones to remember their vacation._

_The car was still, it was among other cars, waiting for the green light. Right beside them, came a Vespa with a young man on it. Still unaware of what was happening in the car right beside him with the rolled down window._

_“Don’t be rude, show him what a good time you’re having.” He chuckled as he bucked his hips, thrusting inside of her, making her bounce on him. “That’s right baby girl. Be louder.”_

_As her moans got louder and lewder, the man turned his head their way. Completely shocked at the sight before him._

“ _Take your tits out.” He said, as he helped her take her dress off over her head, while still moving her hips, sending shockwaves throughout her body._

_The man on the Vespa kept watching them, his eyes never leaving her bouncing breasts, the look of ecstasy she bore._ He was entertained. 

“ _Look at him, enjoying himself.” He said darkly, he truly as a sex fiend. Soon his chuckles turned into soft moans. She could’ve come just by hearing those. “Yes Princess, squeeze my cock like that.”_

_As he connected his lips to her neck, nipping and sucking at the skin, trying to leave his mark on her, the car started again. The window rolling up again. The show was over. It was just them now._

_She was liking Rome already._

  
  


“Didn’t know kids were allowed in here. This is a grownup event.” Peggy taunted her as she stood with her head held high. 

Steve just looked at her (not concerned that his wife was right next to him) as if he wanted to ravage her in front of everyone. 

“I figured you’d say that, and I came up with the perfect comeback, something that has to do with me being railed by your husband in your bed, but I’m going to be the ‘grownup’ here. And not do that.” She said. “By the way, nice sheets.”

….

As she made her way around the event, trying to avoid Peggy as much as possible, she came across her husband. And despite he was always in a conversation with someone, he’d occasionally turn her way. Glancing at her, before returning to his conversation. 

And they kept playing at that game. He did. She just minded her own business. 

That was until he kept staring at her and mouthed something unintelligible. As he not so subtly kept pointing his head towards a more isolated place, a hallway which led to a bathroom. 

_We need to talk._

She managed to make out. They did. 

It had been a while since the last time they had been together. Mostly because their schedules never matched. And also because Peggy kept a closer eye on him after she had discovered of his betrayal. 

She looked at Bucky, as she made sure he knew where she was going, before walking towards the secluded hallway. Noticing that no one noticed her walk there. That was the beauty of events of such grandeur. She wasn’t the only one people were interested in. 

He was already there. Standing all handsome, waiting for her. A smile appearing on his face as he saw her approach him. 

“Steve… we're in public. I thought we said…”

“I know, but I just had to see you.” He said as he beamed. “Did you like the dresses?” 

“Wait what- you’re the one who sent me the dresses? The gala and this one?” 

“Did you like them?” He repeated, with puppy dog eyes. He was undeniably handsome, and she would’ve jumped at his bones in any other occasion, but she couldn’t. 

Something in her felt different. She didn’t feel aroused when looking at him and how taut his shirt looked (knowing how he looked underneath). 

“Yes, they are very beautiful, but you didn’t need to get them…”

“You look gorgeous in it.” 

His lips attacked hers, in a hungry kiss, not what she was expecting at all. As much as a part of her old self would’ve loved it, she pushed him away. 

“Steve what are you-“

“I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

“Steve, you’re married. I can’t do this.”

“I’m leaving her, we’re in the middle of a divorce, this is the last event I’m attending with her. Please, just hear me out.” He pleaded. “It’s over. We’re going our separate ways. We can be together.” 

“Steve I’m serious I can’t. I’m not like that anymore.” Bucky. It was because of him. 

“Are you taken or something?”

“Yes, kind of. Something like that.” 

“Are you happy with this person?”

“I am. I truly am.” She smiled at herself at the admission. She had admitted it to herself that Bucky made her happy. More than anyone else. 

“I wish you nothing but the best then. But if things don’t work out, just know I’m willing to be the rebound guy.” 

“Ok I’ll keep that in mind.” 

“Whoever this person is, I hope they realize how lucky they are. You are one in a million.”

“Yes I am.” _Goodbye Steve._ _I wish you the best of luck._ She wanted to say. But instead walked away. Leaving the man from her past behind. 

….. 

_He watched her as her lips locked with Steve’s, and to say his heart fell out of his chest, would have been an understatement. To see it in front of his eyes, made him want to look elsewhere but somehow he couldn’t. He watched the woman he loved, kiss another man._

_It made sense. They were both attractive people. And attractive people were supposed to be together. He deserved her. He was rich, famous and handsome. The complete opposite from him._

_He immediately turned the other way and started walking away. He had no idea what he was thinking, believing that she would feel a little of what he felt for her. He felt stupid for even suggesting keeping things open, when he knew he couldn’t even stomach the idea._

_And seeing how open she could be with others, made him really upset._

When she came back into his vision, his mind was still all over. He couldn’t think. 

“Bucky...? Are you ok?” She asked truthfully. She cared for him. And he could see that. But in that moment, he needed space. He needed to be alone with his thoughts. 

“Yes I am. I just am not feeling that well. It must have been the shrimp.” 

“Ok... do you want me to take you home?” 

“It’s fine really.” 

“If you’re not feeling fine, I’m going to call Happy. You can go home.” 

“Thank you, I’m sorry.” He said, though it felt like he was apologising for something else. Sorry for not being enough. 

“It’s fine Bucky. Take care, so you can come back to me.” 

“I will.” 

  
  


As he walked out, he felt the ache getting stronger. He could stop himself from remembering how Steve held her close to his body. He had been cheated on in the past, and somehow that small kiss he had witnessed, was able to make him feel just as bad. 

He was torturing himself. But every time he stopped and thought, that was the image that popped up in his mind. Like a movie. 

He only had himself to blame. 

He couldn’t just go home. He would’ve sulked about it even more, while eating take out, or something that would’ve brought him some relief. He needed someone to talk to, so he found himself at Sam’s door. 

…. 

  
  


“I just know I’m not fine with her being with other people.” He said as he held a cup of hot coffee with both hands, as Sam took gradual sips from his, listening to his friend.

“And why aren’t you telling her this, instead of me?” 

“You wouldn’t understand. We’re too different.” Bucky sighed as he looked into his cup. It was nearly empty already. “I thought she’d give me the benefit of the doubt when we decided to make it open.” 

“You, decided to make it open when you were given the choice not to. Ok they kissed, but how do you know how things went down?”

“I know they kissed.” It was right in front of him, he swore he could still see it. 

“I saw it. And that was the moment I realized who she was. She’s from completely another world, she’s on magazines, dates film stars… A goddess. I’m just too normal. Unremarkable. There’s a reason why our two worlds are separate. They’re not meant to be mixed.” 

“What do you want to do?” 

“I don’t know... I guess I have to face the facts as they are. I just need something to do that doesn’t make me think of her.” 

“How about you take out the single mom from Bailey’s class? I mean I’ve been told she already is into the idea.” 

“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” 

“You said you could use a distraction.” 

“Are you two talking about Sharon?” Sam’s wife entered the kitchen as she grabbed something from the fridge. 

“Sharon?” 

“That's her name. I have her number… you could call her.” 

“I don’t think-“ He wasn’t sure. Most moms she set him up with ended badly. Mostly because they expected someone else. He didn’t want to go through all of that again. 

“You can take her out for a coffee, it doesn’t have to be a full on date.” 

“Fine. Just coffee.” 

And that was how he found himself with a woman called Sharon’s number, as he tried to keep a little distance from the woman he really wanted. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Say hello to Sharon, and more drama.


	23. All That Matters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Sharon finally makes her first appearance. And Reader is haunted by her past once again.

“ _ How was the conference in Stockholm?” She purred, and as innocent as the question was, there was something more to it. Anyone could’ve guessed.  _

_ “Dull as ever. I wish you were here. I miss you.” Steve replied and she knew he said the last sentence with a grin on his lips.  _

_ “Yeah? What would you do if I was there?”  _

_ “I’d have my fingers deep in your tight-‘’ _

  
  


“You can see how  _ that’s _ a problem right?” Tony said condescendingly (as always) as he paused the recording. 

She knew from when it was. It was after Peggy had discovered of the affair. 

She stared blankly at him, and the team of lawyers that had gathered in one of the many conference rooms at the Tower. There wasn’t a sound made in the room. It was too quiet for her liking. 

As much as she was used to people hearing her get some, it was a whole other thing when her own father did. And as most people would, she was mortified. Though she didn’t show it. 

“What am I supposed to say?” She asked as she shrugged, her arms crossed at her chest. Avoiding to meet his eyes, she couldn’t look at him after he heard that. 

She knew the contents of the tape. And it wasn’t something she wanted her own father, however estranged, listening to it. 

“Is it possible to take it down?” He turned to the lawyers as she looked at them too.

“The original source has been taken down, but as you can imagine, it has been replicated and spawned millions of copies.”

It was something without any hard evidence. It was rumored in the past that Tony Stark’s daughter had been involved very intimately with her former employer’s husband. 

People liked the assume things. Especially after she had been fired by Peggy and stopped talking to her. 

But now it was all out. 

She wouldn’t have cared that much if it weren’t for Bucky. She was ok with everyone else thinking she was some heartless homewrecker. But she didn’t want him to think of her that way. 

That morning she had woken up to complete and utter chaos. From her part. She was still fast asleep when Jarvis came knocking at her door, telling her she was urgently needed in the conference room. And as she got dressed, she noticed a few texts coming from both Natasha and Loki.

But she had ignored them, as they usually sent her nonsense. 

Only to find herself in a glass room with lawyers and Tony, who was pretty pissed off. 

It was past lunch, and they still hadn’t come up with anything. 

For the rest of the meeting she blocked everyone’s voices from her head, she just watched Tony as he rubbed his temples, as he tried to solve the whole thing. 

After a while, it seemed as if he was tired of the whole situation, and let the lawyers go. Leaving just the two of them in an awkward silence. 

“It’s just a tape.” She said, breaking the silence. 

“A tape that has consequences.” Tony said, not even facing her, although it was just like any other time he was upset with her. “Margaret and I had drawn up a contract after word got to me that you had been with her husband. There’s a clause that states that in case it should ever get out, we’re going to have to pay a fine.” 

“Yeah right, because that’s the first thing that pops up in your head when your own daughter has a private conversation leaked.” She spat her words coming out a little stronger than they were supposed to. “You know it’s also my ass on the line. I’m trying to make something out of myself.”

“‘A private conversation’ that includes one of my close friends. Who happens to be married. Margaret is like family. She knew your grandfather very well and he considered her to be like his little sister.” He stated, raising his voice a little. 

“Once again you put the well being of someone else above mine.” She shrugged. This was how every conversation of theirs went.

“I know I’ll never live up to your expectations, and I don’t expect you to love me as much as you love Morgan. I know it’s bad, but I expected you to put yourself in my shoes, and understand. But I was wrong, once again.”

“Y/N do not twist my words. I never said that.” 

“You don’t need to.” And with that, she left. She didn’t want to be there anymore. 

….

“ _ Are you alone?”  _

_ “I am now.” She replied teasingly.  _

“ _ Good _ .” _ He chuckled darkly. “Grab the pink vibrator I got you... and slowly fuck yourself with it.” _

_ After shuffling for a bit, a faint buzzing sound was heard, synchronized with her (not so faint) moans, as they started getting more amplified.  _

_ “Tell me what you’re thinking of princess.”  _

“ _ You. I’m thinking about your long, hard cock“  _

_ “Yes just like that baby girl.”  _

_ “Yes daddy I’m going to cum.”  _

_ “Come all over your vibrator sweetheart.” He coaxed her, as she orgasmed loudly, his name leaving her lips multiple times. “I bet you taste real sweet. I’m so hard for you princess.”  _

_ “Why don’t you do something about it?”  _

_ “I have meeting in a few.”  _

_ “So? I bet I can make you come just by my voice.”  _

_ “Is that so?” _

_ “Uh huh.”  _

  
  
  


She knew where she had to be in that moment. The one place she knew she would feel safe. So with the best chicken noodle soup money could buy in hand, she made her way to Brooklyn. 

“Is your dad home?” She asked anxiously. A part of her prayed Bucky hadn’t heard the tape. He wasn’t much on his phone, so he wasn’t aware. Yet. It was only a matter of time he heard of it. “I brought soup.” 

“No he isn’t… but come in.”

“Thank you.” Y/N thanked her as she stepped in Bucky’s home. “Is he better now?”

“Yes he is. But are you? I heard what happened.” Shit she had heard about it. The news must have spread like wildfire. 

“It happens once in a while. It was either photos or a video. But now they’ve also tapped my phone.” Y/N sat herself at the dinner table, running her hand over her face. “It’s a small price to pay to be me.” 

“You want something to drink?” Carol offered, as she looked in her direction interested in her offer. “Not alcohol. We don’t have that.”

“Oh.” 

“Except this old bottle of vermouth, that has been sitting at the back of the cupboard for at least half a decade.”

“That will do just fine.”

“Ok, I’ll go and get it for you.” 

“Thanks.” 

It took her just one second, as the next time she turned her head, she was already back with the bottle of vermouth. It was no top shelf, but it was enough to calm her nerves. 

The worst part of it all was that the recording had no date, which meant it would have been easier for anyone to say it was taken from a recent conversation, when it was at least a year old. 

They were open. Bucky and her. Bucky had decided so himself. Though a 

part of her wanted him to say they wouldn’t be. She was taken by surprise. 

She really didn’t want him to think she was getting pleased by other men and women. When there was no one else but him, since they started sleeping with each other. 

“I’m trying to make something of myself. And nobody believes in me. Not even my own father.” She stared blankly into her glass as she poured more liquid into it. 

“Well fuck him.” 

“What?” She raised her head and smiled a little. Out of all people, she didn’t expect Carol to say that. As she knew how much she admired Tony. 

“Fuck him and everyone else. I think you’re pretty awesome.” 

“You really think that?” 

“Yeah. I think you’re a good person. And I like having you around. That counts for something right?” 

“Thank you.” 

….

Bucky made his way into the small cafe as he gripped onto his cup of coffee with clammy hands. It was the first time he was going out with someone. It wasn’t a date, though he was just as nervous. 

What if she invented an excuse to leave him there? It wasn’t like it hadn’t happened in the past. 

Or worse, she decided it wasn’t worth it and just didn’t bother to show up? 

That was the very reason Bucky stopped trying. He didn’t want to be disappointed. That was until her. Y/N. His (much younger) boss, with the face recognised by the millions. She was the sun, she was everything. Whilst he was nothing. 

In another world, a perfect one, they would’ve been together. He would’ve been more good looking and they would’ve rode off into the sunset together. 

But it wasn’t another world. The reality was much uglier than that. Y/N would’ve never felt the same about him. He should’ve been grateful she had thrown him a bone. That was the furthest he would’ve ever gotten with her.

And yet, he still couldn’t stop thinking about her. She was the last thing on his mind before drifting off to sleep. The one thing he had in his mind as he walked to the cafe, and whilst he got ready. 

How beautiful she looked, the last time he had seen her. How out of his league she was. 

He wondered whether the shirt he was wearing was ok. It was one of the ones Y/N had gotten for him. He wondered whether it was too much for a coffee meeting (not a date). 

“You’re Bucky right?” She was pretty. She must have been around his own age, blonde, dressed in a simple shirt and jeans. She would have been just his type, before Y/N happened. 

“Sharon?”

“Yes, nice to meet you.” She said as she offered him a warm smile. “What are you having?” 

She didn’t look disappointed or desperate to leave. Instead she took her place at his table, placing her bag on the extra chair. 

“A black coffee, and a danish.”

“That sounds nice. I’ll also have a danish and a cappuccino.” She told the server who jotted down her order and smiled back at her.

Out of all the women he had been set up with, she just might have been the best one. 

“I’ve been told you work in the city. How is that?”

“It’s pretty amazing. Good benefits,  _ flexible _ hours…” Flexible only because Y/N had made them that way. Lately going to work didn’t feel like going to work. The truth was he was getting paid to spend time with her (which included sleeping with her). “I’m lucky. What do you do?” 

“I’m a nurse.” She told him. “The hours aren’t flexible, but I really like helping people. As regular that motivation might be.”

“It’s not at all regular.” He said as he put his hands around the warm mug. “It’s admirable.” 

“But I’m sure what you do is far from regular too. Being a bodyguard. Saving people. That’s just remarkable.” 

“It isn’t…” 

“You work for Y/N Stark right?” 

“Yeah.”

“That mustn’t be easy. As a nurse, there’s a lot of talk from other nurses and doctors from other hospitals about her. As there is anywhere here. She’s quite the character.” 

“She is…” 

Even out with someone else, he couldn’t escape her. She was always there. He wanted to tell Sharon about Y/N. About how he couldn’t just sit around drinking coffee with her, as his mind was on his boss. 

How he worried whether she was ok without him, and whether he had taken it too far by lying to her, and telling her he was sick. And how he couldn’t stop thinking about her. About how much he felt loved by her even though she didn’t feel the same. 

“Sam told me you have a son. Same age as Bailey?” 

“Yes I do. He has always had some difficulty in making friends, so I’m glad he found her. The Wilsons have been nothing but kind to me and my son since we’ve arrived. Moving to a new city is always daunting.” 

“I’m really glad you find them. Sam can be a huge pain, we’ve been friends for a long time but he still finds ways to annoy me.”

“I’ve heard some stories from him. The police academy right?” 

And she was fun to be around. Maybe Sam was right. Maybe she was the right kind of distraction. But his fun was cut short when at the next table two men in suits sat down. 

“Did you hear how she moans?” One said, clearly not caring to keep his voice down about such a colorful subject in public. “She is kinky, that I know for sure.” 

“I know, it showing up this morning was the highlight of my day. The perfect beginning to a shitty day.”

“Do you think she likes it up her ass?” 

“You can tell she does. She’s the kind of girl who’ll let you do anything to her.” 

“Who knew she was doing Steve Rogers out of all people?”  _ Steve Rogers… were they talking about Y/N?  _

And his heart stopped. 

.... 

“Someone recorded our private phone call and it has been leaked.” She explained for the umpteenth time as she held her phone to her ear.

“I know. I’m trying to do some damage control on my part.” Steve said surprisingly calm. She thanked God for that. She needed him to be calm while she was freaking out. “Peggy’s now talking to the press, it looks bad. Whatever she says now, they’re going to believe her.”

“Of course they are going to believe her. I don’t have the most pristine record with the press, and you two are going through a divorce. She can spin it however she wants to.” 

“I’m sorry I dragged you into this mess.”

“As I recall I was the one who invited you up to my room at that wedding.” She chuckled at his apology. He still managed to be sweet despite the fact that he was the complete opposite in the bedroom. 

“I could’ve said no, but I obviously did not.” 

“I’m not even going to apologise. I really enjoyed your company.” 

“I know sweetheart. I’ll deal with Peggy and her wrath. It’s so worth it if it’s for you.” 

“Don’t push your luck.” 

“I know, you’re taken. But you’ll know where to find me when you need me.” 

Maybe that time was really goodbye. The last time she would’ve ever heard from Steve Rogers ever again. 

“How are you?” 

“You really want to talk about me?” Carol asked as she put her phone down and let out a deep sigh. She really wanted to think about anything else but her situation. 

“Yes please. I can’t talk about myself anymore.”

“Ok then. I’m well. School sucks. But it’s two years till I graduate.” 

“How about the girl? Did you get her?”

“I don’t even know if she’s interested, I mean we talked, but that’s it.” 

“Is she good at school?”

“Not really, but she’s really good at music.” 

“That’s great, ask her to teach you something. Trust me whether it’s a woman or a man, they love to talk about their interests. It’s something that used to work like a charm.” 

“Used to?” 

“Well in high school. But as I grew up it didn’t take much effort by my part to get people interested in me.” 

“That must be nice.” 

“Not really. I like the whole thing before getting to someone. Even though my intentions weren’t nearly as pure as yours.” She remembered her earlier years under the spotlight. “What do you two talk about?” 

“She didn’t have a pen for a geometry test so I lent her one.” She admitted, embarrassed. “She said thanks.” 

“Oh. Yeah definitely ask her to teach you how to do whatever she does.” 

“She plays guitar.” 

“I can see the appeal. Then ask her for lessons.”

“I don’t have a guitar though.” 

“Don’t worry about that.” She assured her. “Just ask her.” 

“O-ok.” 

  
  


_ Three hours later _

A few glasses of vermouth later (all of which she drank with a scrunched up face), she found herself sat on the floor as she played a game of cards. Completely unbothered by the fact that her sexual preferences had been broadcast to the world. 

Bucky wasn’t home yet. And she worried. Was he really sick or did he lie about it? 

“Do you mean what you said that night? When you and my dad were drunk, and then he fell asleep but you didn’t. You said something. Do you remember?” Carol asked her curiously after she won several rounds. 

“I do.” 

“Is this a good time to ask you if you meant it?”

“I always felt like inebriated people spoke the truth. Maybe a part of me knows something I don’t yet. But all I know is that while everything today unfolded, I wasn’t scared. I haven’t been scared in a while. Because finally there’s someone who holds my hand through the bad times too.” 

“Does he know that?” 

“No.” 

“You know, to be someone who has been with countless men and women, you can be pretty clueless.” 

... 

He drove back home with a smile on his face, and although he felt a little guilty, he was happy. Sharon was an amazing woman, with whom he shared a lot in common. Both grew up in small towns, and single parents, it was if she understood him without him adding anything else. 

He didn’t want to jinx it. Perhaps he wasn’t meant to be with Y/N after all, but somehow made his peace with it. He didn’t feel the same about Sharon as he did for Y/N. But he could see something growing over time. 

And she had already agreed to go out to dinner with him. 

But the question remained: should he tell Y/N about Sharon?

He wanted to tell her. But once he had arrived home, and saw Y/N fast asleep on his couch, he decided it was best not to, for the time being. 

The living room smelled like vermouth. He knew because Sam had spilled some of it trying to make some martinis and failing miserably (most of it ending up on his carpet) making the room smell like booze for a while. 

“You know she brought you soup right? Because you told her you were not feeling well. She cares.” Carol told him as he watched her sleep from a distance.

“I care too. More than you know.” I love her. 

“Then what were you doing with  _ Shirley _ ?” She asked condescendingly. 

“Sharon. Her name’s Sharon.”

“I don’t care. I just got used to Y/N being around, and you know what? I understand why you like her. So what I don’t get is why you went out with someone else.” 

“It’s grown up stuff.” 

“Bullshit. Instead of talking to her you’re just digging yourself into a hole.”

“Language.” 

“You better fix this. I think I’d like her being my step mom. So don’t ruin that.” He had no idea she felt like that. Did she really think they were headed towards that path? 

“I don’t think that’ll ever happen.” 

“Of course it won’t happen if you don’t wake up.” 

He couldn’t deny not having thought about the prospect about them being together. He couldn’t help himself any time she stayed over and wore his shirts, they were involuntary thoughts. And though he knew they could never be, he liked them a lot. 

As Carol left to retreat to her room, he walked towards her sleeping figure, crouching down to move her hair away from her face and kiss her forehead. In a totally unexpected move by his part he lifted her up bridal style and walked towards his room. Not noticing she had woken up. 

“You’re back…” she said half asleep, a smile appeared on her lips. “You always come back.”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t here today.” 

“You’re here now.” She whispered into his ear as he tucked her into his bed, as sleep slowly over took her once again. “That’s all that matters.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Question: If you had to choose between Y/N Stark’s former lovers- Thor, the beefy bodyguard and Steve, the handsome trophy husband, which one would you choose? 
> 
> (I have to know for a future plot point, I’m going to keep asking until the time comes to reference said plot point which will be very important)


	24. Stuck In The Middle

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So I guess this is the last chapter I’ll write in 2019. This is such a big deal for me, and I just wanted to

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I guess this is the last chapter I’ll write in 2019. This is such a big deal for me, and I just wanted to say thank you so much for staying. For the readers who have been here since day one, and the newer readers. 
> 
> 2020 will be a big year, fics wise, not generally (I’m not a mind reader). And I hope you’ll keep enjoying my works. 
> 
> I love you all, and have a happy new year. 
> 
> See you in 2020, 
> 
> tinyglamdramaqueen 💗

“ _ Oh James _ .” Seeing how the day before ended, how the new day was starting was not bad at all. His finger softly traced her curves, as he gazed into her half open eyes. She was still half asleep, but she liked the way she was being woken up. 

“How are you feeling today?”

“Not too shabby.” She smiled as she pressed her lips against his. The way they were so close to each other made her heart flutter each and every time. “Why are you looking at me like that?” 

“Because you’re so god damn beautiful. It’s hard to believe you’re real.” 

“Let me show you how real I am.” She whispered against his skin, as she swiftly climbed on top of him. “Do you believe I’m here?” 

“I think I do. Maybe I’m not that convinced yet.” 

As she ground her clothed core on him, she felt how aroused he was already.

“I’m not going anywhere.” She bent down to give him a passionate kiss. 

She wanted to be that way forever, just him and her, in his bedroom. 

“Actually we have the birthday party today.” 

“Wait that’s today?” 

“Yeah.” 

“Do you still want me to continue?” 

“Absolutely.” The urgency in his voice made her chuckle, making her reach inside of his briefs to pull his fully erect cock out for her. 

A smirk painted on her lips as she pulled her panties to the side, and guided him inside of her. The feeling of being stretched was overwhelming, tingles were felt throughout her body. No man had ever made her feel that way. 

She didn’t even bother stifling her moans, as she rode him. His cock hitting all the right spots in her, stretching her just right. 

A mixture of groans and skin slapping filled the room, as the musky sweet scent of sex surrounded them. 

She didn’t want the feeling to end, like any other time they were intimate. It felt important. Something a little more than she was used to. But she had no idea how to identify it. 

She had heard about it before, about the ‘flutters’ as her orgasm approached. A little different than it used to be with others. It was more intense, she could feel it all over as she cupped her own breasts while still riding him with fervor. 

But it couldn’t be. Those were told in the context of l-

“ _ Bucky _ !” She screamed as she looked upwards towards the ceiling, placing her hands on his chest to remain there a little longer. She wanted to feel him deep within her. She needed it. 

As he still rocked her against him, now they were closer than ever. He was sat upright as he held her in her arms. His hand snaking in between them and reaching for her clit.  _ Fuck _ .  _ He was not done yet. Far from it, apparently.  _

She was still sensitive from her first orgasm, barely able to move her legs, but he coaxed her towards another one. His fingers, his cock, his voice, they were all too much. 

She felt like she was going to explode all over. 

“Come with me.” He said, confidently as ever. “Come all over me,  _ Y/N _ .” As her name rolled off of his tongue, everything came crashing down once again, as her pussy clamped tightly around him. 

She felt him inside of her, the warmth of his come as it spilled inside of her. 

Her breasts heaved as it took her a little more than a second to get off him, and laid next to him to catch her breath. That was her favorite way of waking up.

“I’m going to have a shower.” Bucky said as he put on his robe and tied it shut. 

“Can I join?” She asked him, which did not surprise him. He did not reply, but judging from the smirk that appeared on his lips, she was more than welcome to join him. 

So she did. 

  
  


…. 

“You got her a guitar?” He asked after spotting said guitar in the living room. It was hard to miss, especially as it was a bright red color. 

“Not really, I had it, and didn’t use it. It’s the one Val used when she did the sold out concert at Madison.” She replied as she applied a coat of lipgloss to her lips. 

“Yeah there’s no way I can accept that.” 

“It’s not yours to decide. It’s Carol’s.” She said as she stopped doing what she was doing. 

“Should I even ask what you got Jordan?”

“I can’t tell you, that’s a surprise. I’m having it delivered.”

“Why do I have the feeling that it’s a little more than a toy car?” 

“Because you know me?” 

  
  


“ _ I’m constantly afraid my wig is gonna fall off.” She said as she carefully pulled it down, to not draw attention to them. They were just two people at an upscale Manhattan restaurant having dinner.  _

_ Though she didn’t want it to be a big deal, it felt like it. She wore one of her favorite dresses out of Loki’s new collection for it.  _

_ “For what is worth, you still look gorgeous.”  _

_ “You’re too sweet.”  _

_ “Mr. and Mrs. Beck, your table is ready.” The hostess announced politely as she guided them to their seats. It wasn’t the best table at the restaurant. She knew, she had dined there a couple of times, but that didn’t matter to her.  _

_ “Can’t believe you’re finally took me out.” She said once they were seated, and the waiter started pouring them a bottle of lavish champagne.  _

_ As her attention was on the drink, and how good it was, a shallow velvety box appeared in front of her. It wasn’t too small, nor too big. Her eyes travelled to his face, he kept looking at her as her attention was fully shifted to the box on the table.  _

_ “Quentin…”  _

_ She opened it with both hands, and her mouth gaped at the sight of a beautiful diamond necklace, exactly the one she had pointed out two months before at Harry Winston. It was diamonds on diamonds.  _

_ “I can’t accept this…” She said as she closed the box, and pushed it towards him.  _

_ “Don’t you like it?”  _

_ “It’s beautiful, I love it.” She told him. “But you mentioned you had to save up to move into a bigger apartment, I can’t do that.”  _

_ “I’ll just wait til my next paycheck.” She looked at him, and he looked at her the same way she had looked at the necklace. She couldn’t turn it away.  _

_ “Are you sure? That great apartment in Park Avenue?” _

_ “Yes, there’s no rush.”  _

_ “Then I love it so much.” She exclaimed as she opened the box once more and carefully touched the diamonds. “I’ll thank you properly tonight.”  _

_ “Fuck.” _

_ “What’s wrong?” _

_ “My daughter got into Stanford and we had a dinner.”  _

_ “Can’t I convince you to stay longer?” She pleaded as she batted her eyelashes. “I’m not wearing any panties.” _

_ “You’re not?” His tone shifted.  _

_ “Why would I? I didn’t want my panty line to show.”  _

_ “I guess she won’t mind having two dinners.”  _

_ “She won’t? That’s great.” She smiled just in time for the entree, which arrived at that second. As the waiter walked away once again, she spoke.  _

_ “Meet me in the men’s room. In exactly five minutes.”  _

_ “Men’s?”  _

_ “Women talk a lot in the bathroom and stay there awhile.” She said as she then quietly dipped on her champagne. “I’ll see you in five.”  _

_ She then added, before strutting towards the toilets, looking back just once, so she could see his face as she walked away.  _

_ …. _

“I think the wig looks amazing on me. Don’t you think?” She looked at herself one last time in the mirror as she adjusted her blonde wig.

“You don’t have to come if you don’t feel like it. I’d understand.” 

“I know. You’re so sweet. But even if they recognised me with a wig, what’s the worst they could say?” 

“I’m sorry you had to go through that.” She knew heaven meant it, but she didn’t want to speak of it anymore. 

“How do my boobs look in this dress? Is it too much for a kids birthday party?” 

“I love them.” 

“I know you do.” 

“W-we should go.” 

“Do you think we’re going to do it again? For the third time?” She teased as she ran her hand on his chest. 

“We have to leave now. We’re quite late.” 

“And who’s fault is that?

“Mine.” 

“Exactly.” 

….

She sighed as she sat rather quietly in the car. She watched as they drive by houses fastly. That was how the days went by. So quickly. But unlike the houses which disappeared into the distance, she hoped days with Bucky wouldn’t go by so quickly. 

Y/N had felt like that, only one other time. Quentin Beck. She avoided talking about him, though he never ceased to exist in her memories. Though those were starting to fade. She’d never stop feeling guilty about that. 

She forgot how he smelled, the way he looked at her, and the way his lips felt against hers. That she regretted most of all. 

As she watched Bucky drive towards Sam’s house, she wondered whether she was allowed to feel like that. Even after everything that had happened with Quentin. 

She reached for the play button on the radio system, so she could stop her thoughts.

“No, wait.” She heard him say, but it was too late. She had already pressed it. She was confused though, to why he didn’t want her playing music. 

_ Rows and angel hair, and ice cream castle in the air _

“I love this song.” 

“I had the CD somewhere.” He said as he focused on the road ahead. “You remember when… after the gala. The one to which you wore the red gown.”

That was the night she started to feel something. Perhaps it was even before that. But it was more prominent that night. He told her she looked beautiful. 

“I heard you sing.” 

“Oh no…” 

“I liked it a lot. Totally unrelated to the fact that after I went looking for the album in my CD collection.” 

“CD collection? There’s something called a music streaming service, Sir.” 

“Let me have my thing” 

“What else do you have…” she asked curiously as she opened his glove compartment, uncovering stacks of CDs. 

“Hey, a man’s glove compartment is something private.” 

“Really? You’ve been inside me. There’s nothing private between us.” Her eyes fell on a golden CD box, and they widened at realizing what it was. “Oh my…”

“That’s not mine.” 

“Kinda wish it was.” She said as she held it up. “I love ABBA. I used to listen to it with my mom, when she’d drive me to ballet practise. We’d have sing-offs. I’d always win, because she let me.”

“In that case, that is mine. I saw the musical and I couldn’t stop listening to the songs.” 

In that moment, she erupted into the ugliest laugh ever. Though genuine. 

“Did you just trick me?” 

“Kinda. You totally bought that fake ass story of my mom and I. I got high on molly listening to the whole ABBA album.” She chuckled as she caught her breath. “But it’s really nice to know that you like Mamma Mia!” 

“It’s my guilty pleasure. You must have some too.”

“Not really.” 

“Everyone has at least one.” 

“I don’t. I don’t think there’s a point to life if you feel guilty about liking things.” 

“Wow. That actually makes sense.” He agreed. “Then what’s the most embarrassing thing you’ve ever done?” 

“If I still felt shame, I wouldn’t show my face ever. Except for a drunken rendition of Toxic on a commercial flight.” She remembered that flight. It wasn’t her finest work. “It took a lot of bribing to not make it surface on the Internet.” 

“Kinda wish it was.” He said, repeated her earlier words, making her smile. Those were the moments she loved most. With him. Though it made her think, that if she ever had to be in love with someone, Bucky wasn’t a bad choice at all.

….

The car stopped in front of a cute little (mostly) brick house, with a little garden in the front. It looked very domestic which fitted the Wilsons. She didn’t know them well, but she knew Sam was Bucky’s closest friend since way before the Police Academy. 

They both walked up to their front door and after ringing the doorbell, it opened immediately, both Sam and his wife greeted them. 

“You have a nice place.” She told her. 

“Thank you. It means a lot. You must see a lot of nice houses.” She smiled back at her, then leaned in to whisper. “Love your wig.”

“Can you tell it’s me?” 

“Not at all.” She shook her head. “Would you like a glass of wine?” 

“Yes please.” 

“So how are you and Bucky doing?”

“We’re doing really good.” Were they? She couldn’t tell herself, and she didn’t know whether it was a good thing or not. 

“Still just friends?” She asked as she poured both of them a hefty amount of rose. 

“Yep.” Y/N replied, not wanting to give anything away, as they clinked their glasses and drank. 

….

Bucky stood outside with Sam as they watched his son play with his friends. He had always though kids acted really weird. Like shrunken drunk adults. He watched Jordan (Sam’s son, and the birthday boy), as he chased his friends with paint all over his clothes, how it got there, Sam had no idea. 

Sometimes he thanked God that phase of his life was over. Carol was basically an adult and perfectly capable of taking care of herself. But there were other times, in which he wished he could do it one more time. 

“So, now that we’re alone, care to fill me in on your date?” 

“It wasn’t a date.” 

“A coffee date is still a date”

“She’s fine.” 

“Pretty isn’t she?” He asked, clearly knowing the answer already. “I know she’s no Y/N, but did you like her?” 

He hated to admit Sam was right, Sharon was prettier than any other woman he had been set up with. Not only prettier, but also kinder. She didn’t judge him, or run away. 

“I do, I think. But I don’t know why it feels wrong.” 

“Because of Y/N?”

“I feel like there’s a lot that’s left unsaid. There’s just something about her. It’s different than it was with Dot.” 

“Yeah I can see that. You not as jumpy as you were with her.” 

“Maybe has a lot to do with the fact that I’m older. But being older also means that I know more. I’ve learnt my lessons, and I have feelings for Y/N. Strong ones. But I’m not as naive as I used to be.” 

“I’m starting to believe she's too grand to fit in my world.”

“Has she said something to indicate that?” 

“Let’s face it, we’re just two people who are sleeping with each other. That’s all there’s to it.”

…..

“Have you seen James Barnes?” She heard one of the women who were huddled in a small group in the living room. She was talking about James, so she had to hear about it. 

“His wife dumped him and you can see why. At this rate he might have bigger tits than mine.” That upset her. 

“You’re so bad,” Another one spoke up, “Did you see Dot’s new man? That Brock is a piece of art.”

“You know I got set up with him. I was told he was nice, but then I saw him and I kinda left. Not before telling him I had forgotten I had a thing.” 

“That excuse still works?”

“Why wouldn’t it? It’s a classic.” 

“That blonde that walked in with him… do you think she’s…”

“No. No way.” She paused to take a sip of her drink, not caring to notice that ‘the blonde’ was standing nearby, hearing everything. “There’s no way a girl like him would ever go out with a guy like him. She’s probably from those agencies which women can be hired to be girlfriends for a price.” 

“That’s a thing?” One scoffed. “Even if she was, wouldn’t you think he’d choose someone more up his alley?”

It had become too much, she wasn’t going to let the discount housewives to badmouth Bucky.  _ Her _ Bucky. 

“Ladies, If I may...” She said as she took her wig off, and along with it, the cap and let her natural hair down. As she watched the women look at her in utter shock. “I know James really well, and I have to say he’s such a good guy. And a great lay. But thank you for your opinion. I really was dying to know what bunch of sad women whose husbands are too busy to pay them mind as they’re fucking ‘friend’ Sheila from work.” 

“We were just-“ The brunette with the bad bob cut started saying. 

“I would remind you ladies, that I am quite capable of meddling in your lives, if I wish. I have a really unique way of dealing with assholes.”

And while she was quite proud of insulting them, she soon found out that everyone else in the room, wasn’t very impressed. Especially Bucky. 

…. 

The way back to his house from the party was bad. He wasn’t talking, and that time it was deliberate. He wasn’t pleased with her at all.

“Did you just threaten people at a kid’s birthday party?” He asked, breaking the silence. 

“I wouldn’t call it threatening. I was warning them.”

“Why would you be threatening them?” She couldn’t tell him. 

“Because they were being assholes.” 

“So you threaten their lives?” 

“Not lives. I’m not  _ The Godfather _ . Just their jobs.” 

“That doesn’t make it better.” 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”  _ But I did, because I care.  _

  
  
  


….

When they arrived home, Bucky went to his room to take a shower. He didn’t expect her to be so upset. As she thought of ways to make it up to him, the door rang. 

What she opened the front door to was not what she was expecting at all. A woman. Older than she was, but still well kept. Dirty blonde hair tied up in a scrunchie and long dark lashes. Was she a family member? Or a sister he hadn’t mentioned? 

She didn’t look glamorous at all. But she didn’t look bad either. 

She bore a gentle smile on her face as she held a plastic bag in her arms. 

“Hi, I hope I’m not disturbing… does James live here?”  _ James _ . So she must know him. Why was she looking for him? As her mind tried to cook up as many reasons as possible, though it boiled down to one, which she didn’t want to think about. 

“Who’s asking?” 

“I’m Sharon. We went out the other day, and he mentioned something about this cupcake place so I grabbed some.”

She tried her best to keep a straight face, though she didn’t know if she was succeeding.  _ We went out the other day.  _ After that statement, her mind blanked out. She had no idea what she said next. 

Bucky was seeing their people. When he had told her they could be non exclusive, she didn’t think much of it. She didn’t think he’d go through with it. But he did. And the living proof was standing in front of her. 

The worst part was she was pretty. 

“No I’m sorry. James does not live here.” The lie just came out. But what else as she supposed to do? Invite her in? Did he even like her? 

“Are you sure? A mutual friend gave me his address.” 

“I’m pretty sure. Try down the road.” 

As she slammed the door shut, she had a feeling in her heart, as if it was being squeezed hard. It hurt. And she didn’t like it. 

  
  
  



	25. The Mistakes We Make

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY NEW YEAR TO EVERYONE! 
> 
> Can’t believe this story has made it into the new decade. This chapter is a little longer than usual, I hope that’s ok. 
> 
> The love for this story has been immense both here and on tumblr and it seems surreal that all of you wonderful people love it so much. I have received all your comments and I’ll get to responding to them once I have some time to myself (as the holidays are always a hectic season work wise).
> 
> If you haven’t checked out my oneshot ‘old habits die hard’, which star ‘everybody Loves Stark’s Steve Rogers x Reader in one of their many past trysts, this one takes place at a New Years Eve Party where they ‘entertain each other’ (I think you catch my drift). 
> 
> Enough with announcements and thank You’s, 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter 💗💗

Bucky always parked his car around the block from the Tower, where there was less hassle. He’d always walk the same street, surrounded by workers like him, going about their busy days. 

Except that day he felt a car follow him. A black Mercedes. It wasn’t just an instinct. He had seen the same car follow him for a while. Even before he parked his car. Though he tried to brush it off as a coincidence, as it kept on following him, he started becoming more alert. 

Until it was right beside him. Stopping, and with it the backseat window rolled down. Revealing a woman. 

“Mr. Barnes.” She spoke with an accent.  _ British _ . 

“I’m sorry, do I know you?” 

The woman took off her glasses with her gloved hand. 

“Where are my manners… I’m Margaret Carter.” Of course she was. “Please, if you may, get in.”

He looked at his surroundings. No one was paying him attention, so he opened the door, as she scooted over a seat. The interior smelled like leather. It must have been a new car. He wouldn’t have put it past her. She was very well off. 

“I don’t think I supposed to be here.” 

She looked much more intimidating up close. He knew  _ of _ her. Her impeccable reputation preceded her. 

“Do not worry. It’s as if this meeting never happened.” She spoke, ever so confidently. “I suppose you, like everyone else know about my husband’s indiscretions with your employer.”

“I do not concern myself with gossip.” 

“Good.” A small contained smile appeared on her lips. “I am prone to know a lot of things. And one of the things I know is how much you care for Ms. Stark. And how much she cares about you.” He didn’t like where it was going. “I would like to offer you a job.”

“Why?”

“Well for starters you have years of experience in the field and you seem like a trustworthy person.” She explained crossing her legs. “Your current position, as Y/N Stark’s glorified babysitter, that’s not what you signed up for. A former police sergeant.” 

She was good. She had done her research. 

“That’s not the catch, whatever Tony Stark is paying you, I’ll triple that amount. I also know you have a daughter. She will be guaranteed access to an Ivy League when she comes to that age.” 

Putting his daughter in the middle was playing dirty. Before he could react in a rash manner he seriously thought about it. He would’ve done anything for his daughter. Though he was still unsure, as it was so sudden. 

“I-“ 

“I don’t want you to give me an answer right away. Just consider it, though i won’t take no for an answer. Call me when you’re ready to have a real job as a bodyguard.” She handed him her business card, before he exited the vehicle. He looked down at the card in his hand. 

_ ‘Margaret Carter, S.H.I.E.L.D Corporations’  _

And then looked up. She was already gone. 

……. 

“What do you mean he’s seeing someone else?” Natasha asked shocked, it was the third time she had asked the same question, as she had made herself the umpteenth gimlet of the morning. 

“Exactly what it means.”

“I don’t understand, why would he go for someone else when he has you?” Maybe telling her and Loki wasn’t the best idea she had, but she had to vent to someone. “You’re a ten, he’s lucky you even looked his way.” 

“Nat…” she warned.

“It’s true. You would’ve never looked at a guy like him if he didn’t get as close as he did.” She then turned to the man who danced about in his underwear. “Loki, can I have someone on my side?” 

“She’s right for once, love. I can’t say James the bodyguard is exactly your type.” He said as he stopped moving. “Why don’t you sleep with someone else? Make it even?” 

“Wait do you think he’s sleeping with her?” She hadn’t thought about it. But there might have been the slightest chance. 

“She went by his house to deliver cupcakes right? Yeah they’re definitely on the road towards that or they have done it already.” All at a sudden she didn’t feel so well. She tried to block out Loki’s voice but couldn’t. “Don’t worry, I’ll have a lineup of potential rebound candidates by this afternoon.” 

“Thing is I don’t even want that.”

“Pardon?” 

“I don’t feel like sleeping with anyone else.” 

“Loki didn’t want to say it to be supportive, but I have to. James is not the man you’re going to end up with. That’s not how the world works.” 

“And how does it work?” 

“I mean you’re Y/N Stark. You could have anyone in the world if you wanted them.”

“Not him, apparently.”

“I’m being serious here Y/N. What kind of future do you see with him? Settling down? Having multiple children? That’s not you.” 

“I guess not.” She didn’t want to say more. She didn’t want to admit she was right. “I just don’t want to lose him.” 

“Let him have his fun with his side girl. And you have fun with whomever you want.” Loki added, trying to console her. “He only has one, you can have thousands. I’ll start looking for candidates who will look good on your arm.” 

But not one in those thousands would’ve ever brought her a cupcake. Not one. 

…. 

Bucky needed to tell Y/N about Sharon. He hadn’t been that nervous since he had been brought home to meet Dot’s parents. It shouldn’t have been a big deal, and though Sam had told him there wasn’t need to tell her, he felt it was necessary. 

Though the first coffee date (as Sam had called it), did not make his feelings for Y/N go away, if not only intensified it. There weren’t other women like her. He knew every woman was special in her own way, but once he had Y/N he could think about no one else. 

He tried to see the positive aspect. He liked Sharon, and given time, he knew he would’ve felt something for her. He just knew it. He hoped for it. 

In hopes of getting to her know more, he had asked her out. On a real date. To his favorite italian restaurant. He was so nervous when he asked her, he probably forgot to say half of the things he wanted to say, but when she had said yes, he was relieved. 

She wasn’t going to reject him. 

Then it dawned on him, that he had to tell Y/N. 

So there he was, in her room as she brushed her hair. She was an ethereal being even when she did something as common as brushing her hair. She made it look glamorous. 

She could’ve as well turned it into a trend. She was  _ that _ fascinating to watch. 

She often pursed her lips when she was really concentrated on something, or take short but quick breaths. 

“Sam thanks you for the trampoline. He says Jordan wanted to sleep on it. He didn’t let him.” He said out of the blue, not sure what to say. 

“No problem. I’m so sorry for the party. I didn’t mean to lose my temper.” She said as she set her brush down. 

“It’s fine now. Forget about it.”

“I will.” She smiled at him, and at that moment, he felt something.  _ Fuck _ . “How are you?” 

_ There it was. The perfect opportunity to tell her.  _

_ …... _

“I’m going out with someone.” There is was. The truth she didn’t want to know.

“Oh.” Was all she could manage. She had carefully planned her response to wine he would’ve told her, but it was way better in her head. Her voice was a little shaky, and she hated herself for that. 

“I just wanted to let you know.” 

“That's fine, Bucky. We’re open.” She quickly said before reaching for her perfume bottle spraying it around her. “On another topic, I have a meeting at four sharp, at the Rainbow Room. Which means I have all the time in the world to get ready.” 

  
  


She didn’t mean to be so cold to him, but she couldn’t help how she felt. It was her first professional meeting, that she knew of, and she was already feeling unsettled. She hated feeling like that. Insignificant. 

She had done her best not to call a private investigator to dig up on Sharon, because she would have, if it weren’t for Bucky. Even though it pained her to know he was seeing her, she decided she was going to try her best to not show her disdain. And try to be happy for him.

But it was so hard. 

She had to ask him to wait outside her room as she got ready as she didn’t want him to see the way she processed the news. She didn’t want him to see the moments she thought about them being together. 

….. 

At four sharp, she was already sat at her favorite table at the designated place, as she waited for Carol Danvers to arrive. She hadn’t recognised her that night at the club, nor after when they went to the diner, but she just happened to be the well known international supermodel and actress Carol Danvers.

She couldn’t deny she was gorgeous. Perfectly styled hair, and was dressed effortlessly, though still maintaining her impeccable fashion sense. 

Y/N couldn’t deny she didn’t feel a shiver down her spine when she took her place in front of her and smiled. 

“Y/N Stark… am I dreaming, or are you in time?” 

“Four sharp, wasn’t it?”

“It was.” She replied as she took the menu in hand. “So what do I owe the pleasure of sitting here with you? I heard you had a business proposition.” 

”I do.” 

…..

“I love the idea, I’m almost completely sold. You know I was looking for something else.” She said enthusiastically as she squeezed the lemon slice into her sparkling water. “So how are you?” 

“I’m fine.” 

“Either you’re nervous to be here with me, which I don’t think it’s the case, or somethings on your mind.” 

“I don’t want to burden you with my problems.” 

“I’m a good listener.” She offered. 

“I think I lost him, the man I told you about?” She didn’t know if it was the desperation talking. “He’s going out with someone else. And thing is they seem better to each other than we do. Maybe my friends are right. Maybe we’re like oil and water.”

“First of all, you’re no poet, that metaphor sucked. And second of all, are you really listening to those two morons? 

Take it from someone who has been in a semi stable relationship for half a decade. The only way you’re ever going to know where you two are headed is when you talk to him. 

When you do, you might not have all the answers you want, but that’s why he’s going to be there.”

“So is that way you didn’t go home with me that night? Because you’re taken?” 

“Is that seriously what you took out of everything I just said?” She scoffed playfully. “Also no, it’s because I heard about you and your game was weaker than I imagined.” 

“That’s one way to wound my ego.” Y/N quipped, making her chuckle. “So I guess here’s to a fruitful collaboration.” 

“Possible collaboration.” She corrected her as she raised her glass. “I didn’t sign a contract yet.” 

“You’re good.” 

…..

“Where to next?” Bucky asked her when she got in his car one hour later. He stayed in there, as per her request. He didn’t question why. Was she jealous?

She couldn’t be. She just had met up with Carol Danvers. The supermodel, for lunch the gossip sites were pretty quick). She had thousands of people who adored her. Whilst he only had Sharon. And it hadn’t even gotten serious yet. 

“Brooklyn. Your place.” 

“Now?” 

“Yes, now.” So maybe she wasn’t jealous. Maybe her date had been better than she had imagined. He was happy for her. She deserved someone as spectacular as she was. “I figured if you’re going on your first date since Bush was president, then I should help you dress up.”

“Ok it’s not my first date since-“ 

“Yes it is.” She wasn’t upset at all. He had definitely cooked up the jealous scenario in his head, as the last thing she looked was jealous. She looked happy. 

….. 

“This isn’t necessary…” He said as she buttoned up his shirt and fixed his Prada blazer. It was definitely an upgrade from the old cheap looking one he had worn his first day at work. That seemed like a memory from a lifetime ago. 

She hated herself for not realizing how special he was from the start. But to be fair, she was quite superficial. Not that she had changed much, but she wished she had known sooner how important Bucky was. 

And there she was, watching him get ready for a date. With a woman, who wasn’t her. Why did she even offer to help him get ready?  _ Was she really that stupid?  _

She smoothed her hands over his chest, up to his shoulders, draping them around his neck. Their lips barely touched. They weren’t just friends. Or fuck buddies. She didn’t have a name for it. And for the first time, she hated it. 

He was so close that she could hear his heartbeat, as she stared into his the deep blue of his eyes. 

“Y/N… not now.” He whispered, pulling away just a little. 

“Why not?” 

“Because I’ll have to leave in a few. And if we do this now, I won’t be able to go out.” 

“Would that be bad?” She asked as she didn’t want to pull away from him. 

“Are you sure you’re ok with this?” 

“I already told you. You have your fun. I’ll have mine.” 

“Ok.” 

“At least let me wish you good luck.” 

“You really think it’s going to go bad huh?” 

“Well you’re an old man, with no game. Kiss me.” She didn’t know why it felt like she was saying goodbye. As their lips touched, she did her best to keep him there for longer. She didn’t want him to leave. To leave her. 

“Do I look good?” He asked her.

“You look amazing , she really is a lucky woman.” 

“Thank you, for helping me. I have admit I would’ve been lost.” 

“No problem. I’m gonna see myself out.” She said. She didn’t want to cry. She wasn’t going to let herself. 

“Are you sure? Do you need a ride?” 

“I’ll call Happy.” She assured him. “Good luck.” She squeezed his hand, before leaving him behind, and exiting his house. Happy wasn’t going to be there in a while, but she needed to stay away from Bucky. She couldn’t stand staying in there any longer. 

….. 

“You’re late.” She said as she opened the backseat to her town car. 

“You know Brooklyn isn’t just around the corner.” 

“Thank you Happy.” 

“Are you ready to go?” Happy asked as she watched his house from outside. It was pretty. It was him. Simple, and homely. 

“Just a sec.” she said as she patiently waited, and soon enough she saw a black Toyota pull up his driveway. 

The way he smiled at her left a twisted feeling in her stomach. But she could not look away. It as if she wanted herself to witness what she had done. Maybe she should have been more forward about how she felt, maybe none of that would have happened.

Or Natasha was right. They weren’t meant for each other. Not in the long run. 

Her eyes started getting glassy as she watched them smiling, laughing, him guiding her towards his car, opening the door like a gentleman. 

“We can go now.” She mumbled, as she watched Bucky’s car drive away. 

“Where to?” 

“Home.” 

She saw Happy look at her for a while through the rear view mirror, it was as if he knew what was happening, but didn’t say anything. And she appreciated him for that. 

  
  


She had no idea how long she had stayed in bed, but it must have been long enough, since the city outside had turned dark, and it filled itself with lights. Quentin always used to tell her that night time was when the city felt most alive. And he was right. 

She looked up towards the mirror above her bed. And it looked ironic. She had installed it to watch herself at her most pleased, and now she was at her most miserable. 

She couldn’t shake the feeling about how he looked at her. The way he smiled at her, whether they were going to have sex. Whether he was going to make her feel likeness had made her feel, their first time on the island. 

She wondered whether it was truly just about the sex. After all, to her sex had always been just that. It never went beyond that. Quentin, maybe. But she couldn’t wonder whether if it would’ve worked if they had started out differently. 

The thing she feared the most was if she closed her eyes, she would’ve seen them. Sharon and him.  _ Making love. _ She knew she would’ve. The human mind was one fucked up thing, showing one what they feared most. And at that moment in time, that was it. That was what she feared the most. 

Bucky. In the embrace of another woman. 

The more she thought about it, the more she gave herself a headache. 

Sharon wasn’t a model, but she certainly kind to the eyes. 

Two soft knocks interrupted her thoughts, but they weren’t Jarvis’s. He would’ve gone for firmer knocks. He would’ve made sure. She lazily stood up, and walked towards the door, opening it to reveal her half sister, with a plate of grilled cheese in hand. 

“Happy told me you were sad.” She said as she walked in her room,and once she was in, she offered her the plate, which she took. “And that you haven’t eaten anything.” 

“Thank you.” She couldn’t help but smile. Her presence did help lift her spirits up, even though it was just by a little. She invited her to sit beside her on the bed, and she sat there, and watched her as Y/N took small bites out of the grilled cheese. 

“Why are you sad?” 

“Because my friend he wants to be friends with someone else.” She wasn’t lying. He was at the very least her friend. Her employee. “And it breaks my heart.” 

“Do you looove him?” 

“I guess you can say that.” 

“But is he your Prince Charming?” 

“Not really.” What was Bucky to her? By regular standards he wasn’t Prince Charming. Maybe to Dot he used to be. 

But Y/N and Bucky had a complicated relationship. One that even she could figure out. 

What were they? 

Maybe Prince Charmings were just for fairytales, and not real life. 

“Then go out and find him. It’s New York after all.” 

“I guess so.” She leaned in to kiss her head. “Thank you, for the grilled cheese and the advice.” 

“You’re welcome.” Morgan replied, wrapping her arms around her. “I just don’t want you to leave because you’re sad. Don’t go to France.” 

“I’m not going anywhere. I promise.” 

In an effort to get over whatever feelings were developing for Bucky, she decided the best course of action was to get under somebody else. And though New York had less princes than Morgan knew about, there was one person who could hold the title of Prince of New York. 

Who else to call, than  _ Steve Rogers? _

….. 

A diamond necklace adorned her neck, it complimented the deep neck her dress had revealing some of her breasts, though most people had seen them on the cover of Playboy. As she made her way through the hotel bar, she made a few heads turn. 

After all, she had dressed up for the occasion. The strappy Jimmy Choos killing her feet, but she endured it. 

It was hard to miss him. He was by far the most attractive man there, in a crisp white shirt with a navy blazer, matching dress pants. His hair slicked back, and his beard was left untouched. She knew he had kept it for her. He knew how much she liked it.

He looked good for a man who had just lost everything. She had heard around that Peggy had kicked him out of their lavish apartment. But also that according to their prenup, he was going to get a lot from her. 

Like most breakups, it was messy. 

“Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes.” He said with a smirk, as he put his martini down. His eyes going up from her shoes, up her legs, to her pronounced cleavage, and then to her face. 

“You don’t look too bad yourself.” 

“I know I’m the one who said I’d be your rebound, but so soon?” 

“I’m not here to talk Steve.” She placed her hand on his thigh. “Buy me a drink.”

“One dirty martini. One olive.” He ordered, before shifting his attention back to her. 

“You remembered.” 

“Of course I do.” He replied, before turning to his side, spotting a few people who were previously glancing at them, looking away not so stealthily. “I guess we have fans.” 

“You could say so.” Her drink was already ready and in front of her. She took a few sips, as she looked around her. There were people from his former circle, and she knew they all had big mouths. 

“Have to admit, I wasn’t expecting to hear you after the tape got leaked.” He whispered in her ear, sending a shiver down her spine. “I couldn’t stop myself from jerking off all morning.” 

And that was all it took for her to finish her drink in big sips, being careful not to choke, and not so subtly made her way to his room, with his large hand at the small of her back. 

….

“Nice room.” Only a man like him was able to make the presidential suite of the Plaza his home. 

“I’ve been living here,” 

“Shut up.” She responded as she dropped her dress to the floor. Leaving her in barely there black lingerie. His favorite. She knew he would’ve gone crazy for it. 

He too had discarded of his clothes, and he looked like a dream. Maybe it was the fact that they hadn’t slept with each other in so long that made him look even better than she remembered. 

“I fucking missed you princess.” He growled, cupping her clothed pussy, pulling her panties to the side to slide in three fingers in her, unannounced. He simpered at how wet she was. “Looks like you have missed me too.” 

“God you drive me crazy, you know that?” It was all so quick, so careless, the way he handled her. She used to like it so much. But she the only thing in her mind at that moment, as Steve touched her, was how much she wished it were Bucky that was touching her like that. 

She tried to imagine him as he pushed her back on his bed, as spread her legs. He slowly snaked in between them and positioned his bare cock at her wet entrance. As she waited for him to fuck her into the next day. 

….. 

After nearly two hours, she was exhausted and out of breath. Though she wasn’t satisfied at all. She felt sick to her stomach. She had slept with someone just to spite Bucky. To get back at him. But it didn’t make her feel good. Quite the opposite. 

She quickly got out of bed, and picked up her dress, as she stepped back into it, feeling less glamorous as she did when she had first put it on that same day. 

“Don’t smoke that in here.” She told him as he put a cigarette in between his lips. Steve on the contrary, seemed pretty pleased with their encounter. He hadn’t even bothered to cover up. 

“Forgot. Sorry.” He apologised as he put the cigarette back into the box. 

“Steve I-“ She said as she put her shoes back on. 

“I know. It was a one time thing.” He spoke once he was in front of her. Still very much naked. “You’re truly one of a kind. Don’t let anyone treat you like less.” 

“Thank you. Good luck.” Her voice was shaky, but she was past caring. And with that, she left. For good. 

.....

She felt horrible. As she made her way down the floors, she felt the bile come up and there was one person she could think of who could comfort her. The one person she had never thought would grow so close to her. Who was she kidding? It went beyond sex. 

While she had no problem keeping her dinner down, her tears started come out. And as they did, she thought of calling him. He would’ve been there and everything would be ok. 

As soon as she got out of the elevator, she called him without thinking twice. Then it hit her. He was on a date. With another woman. Having sex with her. A woman who was mature, responsible and proud to have him on her arm. As she should have done. 

She ran out of the hotel, stepping outside as she didn’t want to be seen crying. 

And he picked up. 

“Hello?” She hears him from the other line. She wondered whether she had overstepped. And she realised she couldn’t find the words, not even a simple ‘could you please pick me up?’. 

Her heavy panting was all he heard. But for him, that was enough. 

“I’m on my way. Where are you.” 

“The Plaza.” She said with a lump in her throat. 

And that was it. He was coming to get her. Yet again proving what a good man he was. 

....

As his Kia pulled over, she expected to just open the front seat door. But when it stopped, she heard the distinct sound of a car door opening. After it, rushed footsteps followed, and then him. He was dressed so beautifully. 

“How are you-“ She couldn’t help herself, but to hug him. She would’ve done anything to feel his warmth. And she felt safe again. Guilty, but safe. 

“I’m sorry.” She cried softly, as she looked into his blue eyes, who were trying to figure out what made her upset. 

They landed on her neck. The hickey. 

His eyes went back to hers, as they searched for something. 

“I’m so sorry.” 

He hugged her again, as he kissed her forehead gently. She didn’t expect his kindness, but again, he wasn’t hers, and she wasn’t his. 

“It’s ok.” 

And in that moment, she whether she realised it or not, she was in love. 


	26. Fixing Broken Things

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hii so I had this chapter planned for quite a while. I do agree with a lot of you, and this chapter will also have Y/N and Bucky not communicating because they are a pair of dumbasses. Although in their defence if they were healthily communicating, the story would’ve been a lot shorter. 
> 
> Again, I want to thank you all. For the love and the comments (some of them made me laugh ngl, and I will get to them when I have free time, which I don’t). 
> 
> If you love this fic, I think you’re going to enjoy the new fic I recently started ‘all’s fair in love and war’ it is another Bucky x Reader fic. I’m going to talk about it more in the notes at the end.

_It all happened so quickly. He was having a good night._

_  
  
_

_She wasn’t saying anything. All he could hear, was her heavy breathing and sobs. And that was all it took._

_“I’m on my way. Where are you.”_

_“The Plaza.” She struggled to say. He could hear it._

_As the line went off, he was already on his feet. He needed to leave at that second._

_“I’m so sorry to do this…” He said as he took out his wallet and pulled out a few bills. More than enough for a dinner for two. “But I really have to go.”_

“ _Is everything ok?”_

_She looked concerned, but he his mind was too busy to tell her an answer she would’ve wanted to hear._

_Either way, he couldn’t sit there anymore, knowing Y/N was out there hurt._

_“I don’t know.” He whispered as he rushed out of the restaurant, keys in hand. He needed to get there as soon as possible._

_He was racing like a madman. God knows he got a few speeding tickets because of it. Not that he cared. All he was focused on at that moment was getting to her as soon as possible._

_He hated how choked up she sounded. It broke his heart._

_  
  
_

_As he pulled his car over, he saw her standing there. Her arms over her chest as she caressed her own shoulders for some warmth. What was a stunning dress was contrasted by her face. Smudged lipstick, that was fading._

_He stopped and rushed outside. As he got closer, his heart broke. She looked like she had gone through hell. He felt awful. It was his fault._

_He should have been there for her. That was his job. But it went beyond that._

_God forbid anything happened to her._

_  
  
_

_“How are you-“ He started to say, he was interrupted by her hands wrapping around him. Her head on his chest. He didn’t finish his sentence._

_“I’m sorry.” She cried softly, as she looked into his eyes, he tried to search for an answer in her eyes._

_When he saw it._

_A hickey._

_“I’m so sorry.”_

_He didn’t care._

“ _It’s ok…”_

_All that mattered was that she was safe._

…. 

“I’m going to go draw you a bath.” He said as he sat her down on her bed, making his way to the bathroom. She had been a sobbing mess, she wouldn’t tell him what had happened but he could guess. 

He wasn’t an idiot. He just wanted to know whether the other person involved had hurt her. 

As he watched the warm water fill the bath he kept blaming himself. It was his fault for not doing his job. It was the one job he had and he had failed. 

He went back to call her, as he walked towards him wrapped in a towel, clutching it tightly to her body, as if she was hiding herself. 

The towel dropped to the floor, and she slowly stepped into the bath, just sitting in it, trying to hide herself as much as possible.

He couldn’t stay there. It wasn’t his place, and just as he was leaving, he was stopped. 

“Stay.” She managed to say, making him sit on the floor beside the bath. 

“I’m sorry.” It was the only thing she said once he sat comfortably enough. 

Though so vague, he knew what it was for. For halting the first of date of his in a lifetime, and for whatever she had done at the hotel. 

He didn’t care. For the date, or whatever or whomever she had done in there. Marks were left on her from another, which covered her breasts, and her neck. 

“It’s ok.” He repeated. And he meant it. 

As he reached for the body soap, squirted the clear liquid onto his hand and started lathering her body with it. He made sure he was gentle, he didn’t know whether the marks hurt. 

Her sobs diminished, and she seemed to be calming down. She flinched as he felt the cold soap against her body. 

“I can do this.” 

“Please let me do this for you.”

“Why?” She hiccuped. 

“Because I care. I care so much.” She didn’t know, but it was his own way of telling her he loved her. 

“I don’t deserve you.” She sobbed as she touched his face. “You’re so good, I don’t know how I could do that to you.” 

To him? Had she slept with someone because of his date? _Was she jealous?_

She cried into his shirt, as it got more wet. Nothing mattered. Not his wet shirt, or him leaving his date in a restaurant. Nothing was more important than her. She was everything. In that moment. 

He wanted nothing more to tell her he loved her. And that there was nothing she could’ve done that he wouldn’t have forgiven. He loved her that much. At the point that not even going out with another beautiful woman would’ve changed how he felt. It was done. 

He was just a man in love with a God gorgeous woman. That was the gist of it. 

So all he could say was. “I got you.” 

As he held her close to him. 

….. 

“ _I got you.”_

Fuck. She couldn’t stop sobbing. _Pathetic_. 

She couldn’t believe she had slept with someone else that wasn’t Bucky, she wasn’t kidding anybody. Everyone but her could see how much she was in love with him. It was love. 

A part of her always had known he did love her. But it was the small things. Him picking her up in her moment of need was it. He had set aside whatever he was doing, for her. 

She truly didn’t deserve him. 

She wanted to hurt Bucky for something he had no part in. It wasn’t his fault he went out with Sharon. They weren’t together. _But why?_

At that moment far away from the spotlight, they were merely two people (though one was older than the other, who listened to ABBA songs for pleasure and still looked like a better dressed suburban dad) who cared for each other. 

The way he touched her then, held her wet body against him, she felt like she was at home. 

Without him, she was homesick. 

Though a part of her couldn’t bring herself to say those words. Maybe it was because of the situation. She didn’t want to remember it was the day she was crying her eyes out. 

So all she could do was stay in his embrace for as long as she could. 

….. 

A half and hour later, he had managed to get her out of the bath, and into comfortable sleepwear (which wasn’t easy to find). So he found himself on the quest for milk. The one thing that used to make him feel good and still did was a mug of warm milk, it was comforting, and he used to do it a lot for Carol when she was younger. 

But milk wasn’t easy to find either. As the only beverages in Y/N’s living quarters were a half consumed bottle of Kahlua and a single juice box sitting on the top shelf of her fridge. So he went to the main kitchen, in an effort to not go back to her empty handed. 

It was a large kitchen, very modern, he didn’t expect anything less from the Starks. Equipped with every necessity, and things that looked too technologically advanced to belong in a kitchen. As he opened the fridge he immediately spotted the carton of milk, so he reached for it. 

And warmed it up in a pot. As he watched it warm up, he grabbed a mug from the cupboard and set it aside. 

It didn’t take a lot, but as he was getting ready to leave with the mug of warm milk, he heard a few footsteps behind him, which made him jump a little. 

“Mr. Barnes. I didn’t expect you to be here.” Fuck. It was Mr. Stark. Well of course he was there, it was his home after all. And by the looks of it, he was woken up. He hoped it wasn’t because of him. 

“Ms. Stark had a rough night. I had to pick her up.” 

“I understand, thank you for everything. I have heard a lot of you.” He said as he smiled, opening the fridge to grab something. “Y/N can be tough, I don’t know how you managed to tame her.” 

“I didn’t tame her. She’s still the same Y/N.” 

“You’re the best bodyguard so far. She’s not easy, but she means well.” He paused, as if he wanted to say more about her. Contrary to her belief, he knew her father really cared about her. “Goodnight, Mr. Barnes.” 

“Goodnight to you too Mr. Stark.” 

  
  
  


He walked back up as quickly as he could to Y/N, he found her already fast asleep in her robe. 

She looked so peaceful. Like nothing had happened. She was the woman he chose to love. Unpredictable, and unattainable. Out of everyone in the world, he just had to fall for the one person who would’ve never felt the same way about him as he did her. 

And it killed him inside. 

…..

“Y/N Stark and the recently separated Steven Rogers, have been seen together at the Plaza bar, and left together.” Natasha read out loud from her phone as Y/N looked around for candles for the romantic dinner she had planned. “According to witnesses.” 

“Oh God.” 

“The two reunited for a forbidden rendezvous at the historic Manhattan hotel and seemed pretty close, amidst his ongoing divorce with Margaret Carter, co founder and CEO of S.H.I.E.L.D Corp. The two were previously in hot water after a phone recording exposed their illicit affair to the public. Neither parties have released a statement-“ 

“Ok, I think that’s enough for a day.” 

“On the bright side, you look really hot in this picture.” She comments as she turned her phone towards her, revealing a picture of her and Steve, from a strange angle. “And he’s gorgeous, you may have pissed several people off but that must have been worth it.” 

She couldn’t tell Nat. She didn’t want to tell anyone. What she had done was beyond wrong. It wasn’t the action in itself that she was mad at. But the intention. 

She had done it to hurt Bucky, the same way he had hurt her by going out with that Sharon woman. It had been two days since, but she still couldn’t shake the memory etched in her mind. 

_“Bucky…” She moaned as his thick cock pumped into her with rhythm, as the bed underneath them moved, the headboard rocking against the wall._

_“It’s Steve.”_

“ _I know.” She said as he stopped his motions, still inside of her. “Let me get on top.”_

_She purred, and he complied, immediately forgetting what had just happened. She was with the most desirable man in the tri state area and she was still thinking about Bucky._

_Bucky, with his stunning blue eyes and pouty pink lips. She wanted all of him. There wasn’t a part of him that she didn’t love._

_But Sharon… she hated even thinking about the possibility about them in bed, him kissing down her neck, between her breasts (paying each some attention) before moving down to her stomach…_

_The look of ecstasy on her face as he got her closer to climax…_

_She couldn’t take it. She sped up her hips, as she chased her orgasm, his cock hitting her g spot each time._

_“Fuck yes!” She screamed as she got closer and closer, her walls clamping down him, making him thrust upwards to meet her thrusts, before completely taking over. Flipping her over and fucking her from behind. It was chaotic. Wild. Just the way she used to like it._

_As he took her his large hand came down to spank her cheek hard, she knew he left a mark. All her fucks were out of the window._

“ _Oh yeah you like that baby girl?” He asked through gritted teeth as he pumped in and out of her._

_She whimpered, unable to say anything. She was so close, she couldn’t hold it in any longer. As she came she her pussy tightened around him, as she fell face first into the mattress._

_What had she done? Bucky clouded her mind. He was everywhere. Unavoidable. She wanted to think about something else. She couldn’t stand thinking about him. Not when she was spent on a bed, in a room that smelled like cigarettes, sweat and sex._

_“I don’t think I told you to come did I?” He asked as he pulled her by her hair, her back against his sculpted chest. She could feel his hard cock poking at her back. “I wasn’t done yet.”_

_“Yes daddy.”_

“ _You’re such a good girl for daddy aren’t you?” His fingers were at her lips, she knew what he wanted. He got off on it._

_She parted her lips as his fingers went past them, and inside her mouth. She wasted no time in sucking them as if they were his cock._

_Bucky… Sharon… the two of them…_

_The thoughts kept coming back again. She needed Steve to fuck them away._

_“ I need you.”_

_“You need me?” He teased, as he lined himself to her entrance, spreading her slickness from her entrance to her clit. “How much?”_

_“Very.” Both desperation and sadness consumed her. “So much daddy.”_

_He thrusted into her without any warning, making her gasp for air. The merciless pace her had set was sending her into a state of absent mindedness. She was exactly where she wanted to be. Far far away from her thoughts._

_He was wrecking her just the way he did, maybe even harder. His hands were around her neck, in a firm but safe grip. She wanted to forget, and this was the only way she knew how._

_Steve’s cock kept hitting the right spot over and over again, paired with the attention he paid her clit, she felt that familiar tingle all over again. She was so sensitive, she felt like if he had done something else like bite her nipple, she would’ve come right that second._

_But she had to wait. She had to wait for him to come._

“ _Oh yes, right there Steve. Oh-“ she moaned as he kept going his thrusts becoming more relentless, she knew those were his final ones. She knew him too well._

_“Fuck Princess…”_

_As he came inside her, she came soon after. She hated herself. She hated herself so much. She couldn’t go back._

_She had just fucked Steve._

“Why go through so much effort?” Nat asked as she looked at the candles in front of her. 

“Because I want to show him I’m better than the other girl.” 

“But of course you are. Everybody knows it.” She assured her as she picked up a candle and brought it to her nose to smell it, only to put it back a few seconds later. 

“I don’t think he does.”

“So you’re going through all this because you think you’re losing him?” It sounded insane when coming out of someone else’s mouth.

“Exactly.” 

She knew it sounded as crazy to her as it did to herself. She was Y/N Stark. She didn’t care much for other people, because other people cared about her. 

She was the kind of person who missed her baby sister’s birth because she got drunk of her mind- who also subsequently got so high at her Christening that she jumped in a fountain because ‘she wanted to see if water was wet’. 

She had slept with her father’s close friends, employees and business partners. A man died, because of her. And some nights she still couldn’t sleep because of it. 

Y/N knew she wasn’t a good person. But for some reason Bucky made her want to be better. 

“But you’re still hiding him.” Nat stated as she stopped wandering around her. She was serious. “Are you ashamed?” 

“No, I’m not. This isn’t the right time to come out with new news.” 

“God you’ve changed. We used to say all publicity is good publicity.” 

“I think that was you.” 

“I’m serious. Now you’re shopping for the right kind of candles. And not a lacy thong. Where are you. What have you done to the real Y/N?” 

“Maybe this is the real me.”

“Then she is boring. What’s the point of buying candles if you’re not gonna pour hot wax on him as foreplay?” She smirked suggestively, making her roll her eyes. 

Some things never changed. 

“We don’t do that.” 

“Right. You reserve that for me only.” 

“Reserved.” She pointed out. “We’re just friends now.” 

“And I think I’m doing a terrific job at it.” 

“Why did you send Loki to Paris alone by the way?”

“Is that what he told you? I did not send him. He’s going there on his account. I just asked him a favor while he was there.” 

“Why am I not in on this?” 

A faint buzzing sound came from her pocket. Great. Saved by the bell. 

“Sorry I have to get this.” Y/N chuckled as Nat groaned.

“But you owe me an answer afterwards.” 

Though she didn’t recognise the number, she picked up anyways. As of late she had all kinds of people calling her regarding business and she couldn’t afford to miss or ignore any of them. 

“Who’s this?” 

“You know exactly who I am.” 

The British accent. She would’ve recognised that voice in a loud crowded room. 

“Peggy. Can’t say it’s a pleasure hearing from you.” She with a smile on her face. “Where did you get this number from?” 

“Steve’s phone. He really should change his password.” At least Steve was getting away from her. _That crazy bitch_. “How was the latest Plaza rendezvous?”

“What the-“ 

“I know everything that goes in the city Y/N. I’m a scorned woman, there is nothing I wouldn’t do.” 

“Can we get whatever this is going, because I’m quite busy.” 

“I don’t know if you’ve heard… but I offered James Barnes a job.” That made her more attentive. She couldn’t be talking about her James Barnes. 

“You wouldn’t. You hate playing dirty.” 

“Again, you fucked my husband and made a complete fool out of me.” 

“Speaking of which, playing the victim is gonna get old soon.” She commented, as she kept checking out for the right candles. Scentless. If not the whole smell thing would have ruined the Michelin star dinner.

“I know you released the tapes you spiteful hag.” 

“Oh yeah, those. I didn’t think it’d be a problem. But I guess I quite like playing the victim. Good for business.” She could imagine her grinning. She knew she was, she didn’t work with her for a while without learning some things about her. 

“You know he is thinking about it… I offered him a deal quite impossible to refuse.” 

“Bullshit. He’d never leave…”

“You?” She was making fun of her, by the way she said half laughing. “You're not giving him anything. He’s more of a glorified babysitter turned fuck buddy.” 

“What the hell are you on about.” 

“You don’t think I don’t know? I know everything. You and him? I didn’t expect it Y/N, count me as surprised. Though it shouldn’t surprise me. You’d sleep with virtually anything.” She continued. “What would daddy Stark think?” 

“What did you offer him?”

“That’s between us. But I always get what I want.” 

“No you don’t. You built S.H.I.E.L.D with the help of Stark Industries. I want you to know you’ll always be number to two, to my number one.” She said with a smile. She wasn’t going to give her the satisfaction of bothering her. “Goodbye now, take care.” 

  
  


She shouldn’t have let Peggy get to her, but she did. She knew exactly what to do to hit her where it hurt. And she couldn’t quite blame her. After all, she did sleep with her ex husband. 

Though she would’ve rather had the car destroying thing they did in movies, instead of the whole psychological torture paired with the mild stalking. 

“I’ll get these.” She said as she randomly grabbed the candles in front of her. She needed something to calm her nerves. And she wasn’t going to be calm for as long she was stuck in a handmade candle shop. 

…. 

“What’s all this?” Bucky asked as he walked into her living quarters. 

She had never utilised the dining area for obvious reasons. She didn’t eat alone. The closest to eating with someone in her home was when the food was on them.

She had done her best to make it look perfect, with the help of professionals. She wanted to put everything together, but gave up after buying candles. But she did it.

After a whole afternoon, working hard at it (and by that, she bossed everyone around), she managed to make it look more than decent. 

And the food smelled delicious. It was all for him. 

“It’s one part of the surprise I have for you.” She said as she led him to the table, proudly showing him what she had done. “You’ll see.” 

“Tonight?” 

“Yes tonight. I got the chef from the best Italian place in the city. The one with the months reservation.” 

“I have this thing tonight.” He said quite mortified. She could tell he felt awful about it. “Didn’t I tell you?”

“You didn’t, I wouldn’t have done this if you had told me.” 

“I really can’t cancel.” 

“Is it Sharon?” She asked. She was already annoyed, she had done so much that day. She knew he loved Italian, so it took a lot of convincing from her part to make the chef cook for them. 

She had thought about someone else for once, and it blew up in her face. 

“Yes, it is her.” 

“Un-fucking-believable.” She murmured under her breath. 

“What?”

“I said it’s un-fucking-believable.” She raised her voice, now she was mad. It had escalated that quickly. “You ditch me, to go out with… her.” 

“I ran out on her. I have to make it up to her.” He tried to reason, to much avail. 

“Now it’s all about her. We never spend time together anymore.” 

“We did.” 

“When I was fucking crying my eyes out.” She shouted at him, as she watched him sigh. He. Sighed. _That_ -

“Y/N….”

“I can’t think, I can’t concentrate on anything, because of it.” 

“I would cancel. I would, but I can’t.” 

And he was going to cancel on her, for Sharon? A woman he had just met? 

“Can’t, or won’t? You know how many things I’ve cancelled on because of you?” 

That did come out wrong, but she wasn’t thinking at that moment. All she could see was red. 

“You’re upset, we shouldn’t do this now.”

“I’m rightfully upset.” She snapped. Words were coming out like vomit. It was unstoppable. “Do you think we look good together? I was in Playboy for Christ’s sake. I’m risking everything to be with someone like you. Everyone I know says it’s a mistake! But I’m still here. Nat, Loki… look at me!” 

“I know what everyone else thinks. But I didn’t think you did.” He said, visibly hurt. “You know what? I’m late for my date.” 

She watched him, powerless, as she watched him inch towards the door. The damage was done. She couldn’t believe the words that had left her mouth. She regretted them the instant she had uttered them. 

_She was a horrible person._

“I have one last thing to say, since I don’t think I should come back. I was meaning to tell you I loved you.” He spoke, with one hand on the handle ready to leave. He wouldn’t even look at her. She didn’t know if it was better, as tears were already pricking at her eyes. 

“I guess it doesn’t mean much anymore.” 

Once she heard the door close shut, she cried. 

It was nothing like she had experienced before. She had just lost Bucky, and nothing she could’ve said would have brought him back. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here I am, as promised, shamelessly promoting my work. 
> 
> The fic is called ‘all’s fair in love and war’, and it’s about a tourist (Reader) in London and meeting this fascinating man, who’s afraid of commitment even though he’s married (and he’s also a billionaire). 
> 
> And the story navigates through her sexual adventures being his new young mistress and her experiencing new relationships. 
> 
> In a certain way she’s similar to ELS’s Reader as in she’s confident, outspoken, a little immature at first. But she’s also different in so many other ways and does things ELS’s Reader wouldn’t necessarily do. 
> 
> I don’t want to give too much away, I guess you’ll have to read it to find out. 
> 
> In addition to the reader, this fic has so many strong women characters each with their own backgrounds and stories. 
> 
> In conclusion (this is sounds like an essay), I hope you check it out and give it some love, because it has been my passion project for the past year and a half and I have been planning it , and writing it on planes, cars, trains, literally everywhere. 
> 
> If you don’t want to, then it’s fine. But if you do, I’ll love you forever and ever, and ever, and ever. 💗💗


	27. It’s A Heartache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> So we’re close to the end. I really don’t want it to end because I’ve loved telling this story and writing it. 
> 
> But hopefully I’ll write ELS one shots which will still include the same reader and Bucky. Anyways I’ll get deeper into that when I’m done with the series. 
> 
> In the meantime I hope you enjoy this chapter

She sat in the living room as she wrote in some dates in her notebook. The one Bucky had gotten her for her birthday. It was the one thing she couldn’t leave the house without. 

The same Bucky she had hurt so deeply he wasn't talking to her. She hadn’t seen him since he had left. She didn’t know what happened to him and wanted to ask him. But he wasn’t answering his phone, and neither was Carol. 

The only thing keeping her sane was planning her business. She couldn’t believe it was actually happening. She would’ve never gone through with it, if it wasn’t for him. 

No one had ever believed in her like he did. Though going through with it without him to see her do it felt a little empty. 

She was so happy with how far she was able to go, but he wasn’t there to say he was proud of her. 

The clicking of heels against the marble floor indicated her Pepper was nearby. She stopped in front of her as she held an envelope in her hands. 

Contrary to popular belief, she had never been quite mad at her for taking the CEO job. She was clearly the more qualified person to take up the job. 

“So I got the tickets you asked me for. Your flight is in two days. I called up some old friends who can help you there.” Pepper handed her the envelope, as she prepared herself to leave. 

But she didn’t. 

“Thank you.” 

“An interview with French Vogue? That’s impressive.” 

“Yeah thank you.” She smiled sincerely. “It wasn’t all thanks to me. Loki did me a huge favor by getting me that.”

“Are you ok?” 

“Yeah, why wouldn’t I be?” Her eyes were fixed on the envelope, as she opened it, first class tickets to Paris. 

“James resigned from his position this morning…” Though it didn’t come as a shock, after the way she had treated him, she couldn’t believe he had actually done that. 

Her heart fell as she heard the words, but she couldn’t look at Pepper in the eyes. She didn’t want her to know how much she was hurting.

She kept reading her name on the ticket over and over again, but the more she did it, the more Pepper’s words stayed in her brain. 

“Did he speak to you…” She felt her throat close. 

“Yes, he spoke to Tony and I.” 

“Did he say why?” 

“No he didn’t.” She shook her head and rubbed her shoulder sympathetically. Which she appreciated.“Are you sure you’re going to be ok?” 

She had a reason to check in the way she did. And Y/N wasn’t annoyed by it. At least someone cared. She wished she had grown up with a mother like her. Kind, sympathetic, caring. And she had no doubt in mind Morgan would’ve been just like her. 

“Yes. Thank you Pepper.” 

….

“Welcome to my team Mr. Barnes. You’ll have your badge first thing tomorrow morning at 7:30 sharp.” Ms. Carter smiled at him, as she sat behind a glass desk. He put the pen he had just used back in its place. 

That was quite early. Though it should have been the norm. The only place he started late was with Y/N, and that was because she started her day late.

Margaret was right. He had become some sort of a babysitter, in the midst of trying to form some kind of relationship with her. 

It was completely unprofessional. So unlike him. 

He had resigned that morning. It broke his heart knowing it would’ve been the last time he would ever stepped inside of Stark Tower. Knowing everything that happened in there, and with her, was something he would’ve never had again. 

_“For both personal and professional reasons, I’m afraid I can’t work for you anymore.”_

_He found himself in the CEO’s office, a grand office thrice the size of his living room with a great view of the city. The furniture gave it a modern yet minimalistic look to it, which made it look more spacious than it already was._

_Both the Starks were present. He had never officially met Virginia Stark, but from what he had heard he wished he had sooner._

_She was polished, her blonde hair carefully collected in a low ponytail. She looked like a CEO of a influential company, which she was. She was sat at the desk, right in front of him._

_Her husband, Tony, stood by her side dressed less professionally than she did, but being who he was, it was more than permitted._

_“I completely understand.”_

_“That being said, I had this was probably the best job I’ve had in years. You really got a special daughter Mr. Stark. She’s truly one of a kind.” He meant every single word, and there was so much more he wanted to say, but couldn’t._

_“Thank you Mr. Barnes. I wish you the best of luck in your professional career.” Mr. Stark walked to him as shared his hand with one hand, and patted him on the shoulder with the other._

_“Good luck Mr. Barnes.” Pepper shook his hand offering him a kind smile._

_It was truly over._

  
  


“You won’t regret making this wise choice.” Of course he did. He was finally getting to do something more serious, and it wasn’t just about him. The job would’ve helped his daughter as well. The number one priority in his life. “Mr. Coulson will brief you on tonight’s schedule.” 

“Yes ma’am.” 

….

She made her way to the VIP section, while people parted like the Red Sea for her. It felt nice to be back, still having the same effect on people. There was a new bodyguard with her that night. She didn’t even know his name. 

All she could think about was Bucky, and since staying a home made her sulk, she had to go to the only place she knew other than home. A club. 

No matter how many things she tried to do, her mind always went back to Bucky. The kind words he used to tell her, his laugh replayed over and over again. 

She was torturing herself. 

She finally decided she needed to get out of the Tower. 

  
  


“I see you’re back.” Loki smirked as he daintily held a martini glass in one hand. He was always so elegantly dressed even in a club setting. Natasha was sat next to him, in a pink dress that was barely there. 

Y/N instead opted for a sparkly top and black pants. Simple but a classic club look. 

“Of course. I missed you guys.” 

“Where’s James?” Nat asked after she greeted her by kissing her on both cheeks, her eyes going to the new bodyguard. 

“Don’t want to talk about it. Let’s do some shots, tonight’s on me.” 

“It’s nice to have you back Stark.” She whispered in her ear, the smell of strawberry vodka wafted to her nose. She was already tipsy. 

  
  
  


The drunker she got, the less she seemed to care about the environment she was in. Or the fact that she was falling right back into her old habits. 

Her mind wasn’t focused on much, as the alcohol slowly took over her body. All she managed to do was pour more of whatever she was having. At that point she didn’t even know what that was. 

The strobing lights didn’t help much either, she had even forgotten who she was dancing with and grinding on. 

And just as her mind was clear, memories started flooding it. She was dancing at the same club she had brought Bucky that night she had gotten arrested. She had sex with Loki in the bathroom. That night he had bailed her out. 

He was there. Whether it was his job or not. 

He listened to her when no one else would. He cared. 

“You want some?” Loki asked as he showed her the colorful pills he was giving out to Natasha. 

“No… I need to use the bathroom.” 

Y/N rushed off to the bathrooms, needing to be away from the chaos and noise. 

She splashed cold water on her face as she stared at herself in the mirror. She hated looking at her reflection when she was sad drunk. As what she saw was someone she couldn’t be proud of. 

And then it hit her all at a sudden. All her feelings she was trying to push down came floating at the surface. Confronting her. 

It was all her fault. She had pushed Bucky away. 

She was in love, and she had fucked that up. 

  
  


_She had forgotten the exact number of parties she had thrown at the Tower just that week. And despite a very clear (and not so threatening) warning from Tony, she had thrown one just to spite him._

_It was her biggest one yet._

_There were people she didn’t know, it had become out of control. And in such a big space, they were difficult to control. Though she wasn’t worried about it because she had gotten high with Natasha in her bathroom before they started to party._

_“What’s the sexy scientist doing here?” Loki asked as she pointed towards the very familiar figure appearing in middle of the crowd room._

_Quentin._

_“I think he’s an engineer.” Natasha clarified, but she was much more focused on him. “Y/N where are you going? I thought we were going to the wet tshirt contest.”_

_“Not now. I need to go. But I’ll be back.” With that she kissed her and left, trying to find Quentin in middle of a sea of people._

_She spotted just in time as he made his way towards her secret bathroom. She called it that as the door was part of the wall and barely no one knew about it. Except for a few people, including Quentin._

_She rushed there, and once she was in, she slid the door shut. He was in there, as he rummaged through a potted plant, taking out some of the drugs she had hidden in there._

_“I can’t believe it.” He said angrily._

_“Believe what?”_

_“You’re high as we speak.” He accused her, she had never seen him that angry. And she didn’t like it. “You promised you’d get sober,”_

“ _What the fuck did you do.” She looked at the empty plastic bag in his hand and at him. She saw red. He was already getting rid of the drugs. “Are you fucking kidding me? I had that imported! It flew on a private jet for fuck’s sake!”_

_“You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”_

_“You’re not my fucking father. I’m just fucking you. Ok? That’s it. What gives you the right?”_

_Those words she would come to regret deeply in the following days, weeks, and years. If she hadn’t said those words maybe things would’ve turned out differently._

_“You’re hurting too. I can see that.”_

_“Whatever. You can see yourself out.”_

_Little did she know, that would be the last him she would ever see him again._

She rushed out of the bathroom, to find her bodyguard outside the door. Not Bucky. Though all she could see was Bucky. 

If that wasn’t love, she didn’t know what it was. 

“We’re leaving.” She said with tears in her eyes. She didn’t cry though, she didn’t want to cry in a club.

“Where to?” 

_Home_. She wanted to say. But instead, she opted for the more location specific option. 

“Brooklyn.” 

…… 

  
  


“Dad! There’s someone at the door.” He heard Carol shout from the living room. He was just getting ready to go to sleep. He was going to have an early morning, but the good thing about that was that he got to go home just in time to have dinner with his daughter. 

Something he hadn’t done in a while. 

He wondered who was at his door at that time of the night. He looked into the peephole, and much to his surprise, Y/N was on the other side. 

She was there at his doorstep. 

“What are you doing here?” 

“I came here to see you.” She said with a broken voice. She had been crying. 

“I’m sorry, but I’m not in the mood to see you.” A part of him really wanted to invite her in. To hug her. But he couldn’t. He had to have at least some respect for himself. 

“I just came here to say I fucked up. Big time. I’m just so fucked up, Bucky.” 

….

“The last person I had feelings for... I pushed him away and he left. I made him leave, because he was getting too close.” She sobbed as she leaned onto his front door. Hoping he was on the other side listening to her. 

“That night I had done the same thing as I do every time I want to stop myself from feeling. I got high again.” The memory of it killed her, she didn’t want the same thing happening with Bucky. 

God forbid something bad happened to him and she didn’t tell him how she felt. 

“A few days later, he died. He died and you know what I was doing? I was intoxicated, fucking someone else. I didn’t even attend the funeral. They wouldn’t let me. I don’t think I could’ve gone.” 

_The room around her started to spin, as she stumbled when she got on her feet. She needed air. She felt like she was suffocating._

_Everything looked so pretty from up there. The city was even more alluring during the night. As she looked down, hot tears fell down her cheeks. Everything inside her hurt. It hurt her so deeply she wanted it to end. She wanted to disappear._

_She climbed on the ledge of the window, looking down. It was very high. Her legs trembled, as she got on top. She wasn’t sure whether it was because she was scared of heights, or because she was drunk and high._

_He flashed in her mind. That half smile he wore the first time they had met, the same one he had when he had made love to her just weeks later._

_The promises, he had made her while they were lying in his bed, when he had told her he had feelings for her._

_She remembered only the best parts of him._

_More tears rolled down her cheeks. She still loved him. Despite everything. Her eyes wouldn’t focus on anything, everything just started to change around her. The drugs were strong, taking control of her mind._

_And yet, she managed to keep him there in her memories._

  
  


_“Y/N!” She turned around, to see Pepper had found her. “Please, come down.”_

_“I can’t. Everything hurts so much.”_

_“Everything’s going to be ok, sweetheart. I promise. Now, please come down before you hurt yourself.”_

_She didn’t know what happened next, one minute she was facing death, and the next moment she was in Pepper’s arms, sobbing into her shoulder._

_“It hurts so bad.”_

_“You’re going to live through it. You’re strong, I know because I’ve seen it myself.”_

_She wasn’t her mother, but she had been there for her, more than her real mother ever did._

_“Let me help you.”_

“That’s why I went to Europe a few years ago. Switzerland.” She explained. “Being alone kind of helped clear things out in my mind. People kept telling me what happened wasn’t my fault, but his wife… she sued my family and went on to hate my guts.

And when I got back to New York, I was back on square one. Being back there just halted my progress. I stopped seeing doctors because I told myself I was fine.”

Those were the darkest times in her life, it was a time she closed herself off to everyone she knew. She insisted on hurting herself, putting herself in dangerous situations because of her guilt. 

She insisted on not talking to doctors because she thought she was doing fine. That it was all a coping mechanism, having lost someone she loved. 

She hoped Bucky would understand her. Why she wanted to push him away the way she did. 

“When I met you, I wasn’t fine. I didn’t care about anyone but myself.” She paused as she sniffled. “To everyone I’m a Stark, all they see is my last name. And I thought that was what I wanted. I wanted people to worship the ground I walked on, to do a double take whenever I walked by. You don’t see me like that. To you I’m just Y/N. I never had to pretend with you. And despite my numerous flaws you still wanted to be with me.” 

She didn’t know whether Bucky was listening to her on the other side. But she kept on going. 

“I love you.” She admitted. It felt good to finally say it out loud. “I haven’t been able to say it because I was scared. Because I’m always the one fucking things up.” 

Still, no response. She wanted him to open the door, and hug her. But the door didn’t open. And the more she waited, the more she found she found herself hoping. 

He had made his choice. He wasn’t going to take her back. And she didn’t blame him one bit. 

…..

He felt bad for not letting her in, and not giving her a response. He knew in his heart that he loved her. But he needed someone who was serious about him. And no matter how bad he felt for her, he needed someone who would not hide him. Someone who would love him unconditionally and wouldn’t not be afraid to say it out loud. 

He couldn’t play around as he did when he was younger. He was a father. He and responsibilities. 

He needed someone to fight for him. 

And she wasn’t that someone. Though he hoped she might be. 

They were too different. 

“At least now you can’t say she doesn’t love you.” Carol said as she watched him with his back against the door. “Can’t you at least forgive her?”

“It’s more complicated than that.” 

“No it isn’t. You love her, she loves you. Love is complicated because we make it so.” 

“When did you become so wise?” 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed this, Please check out my new story ‘all’s fair in love and war’ on AO3. If you love drama, angst and pure filth, then that’s the story for you. I saw some of you went over there after promoting it the last time and I have to thank you very much. It makes me happy to know people are reading something I put so much heart into. 💗💗


	28. Love is Always Worth the Risk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AAAAAA so this if officially the last chapter of the series. I hope you enjoyed it. Because I sure as hell enjoyed writing it. I’ll be writing an epilogue so it’s not technically over. 
> 
> And I’ll probably write one shots about ELS’s Bucky x Reader. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy this chapter. 
> 
> I love you all. Xx

_Two months later…_

When he landed in JFK, he felt different. He had been travelling so much for the past months, it started with following Margaret to DC, but then it went way beyond that. Soon he found himself in Europe, staying at the best hotels there were, all the while he got paid very well. 

He wished he had gotten a tan during his time in Morocco, but the closest to being tan he could become was bright red, then return white again. 

After one week there, he returned to New York, still jet lagged. He couldn’t fall asleep for the first night back home. So he listened to music a lot, and sat gazing into the distance. 

He was grateful that Dot kept Carol for one more weekend, while he adjusted to the time. He found himself walking around a lot. It didn’t matter if it was too early or too late. 

It was a habit he had picked up while working for Peggy. Walking around a lot. It helped him relax. And more aware of his surroundings. He hadn’t realised he had new neighbours if he didn’t walk around. 

Then Monday rolled around, and Carol was back. The hardest part of working for Margaret Carter was the fact that he was at work more. 

Though he enjoyed the benefits. Margaret had enrolled Carol to a prestigious Private all girls school in the city, but she didn’t want to go. 

“Hi dad. How was the trip?” She asked him, taking off her headphones. He had new headphones. Something he hadn’t realized before. Her mother had probably gotten them. Or Brock. He was always trying to impress her, being her stepdad. 

“Fun. I got to fly first class, and I got you a present.” He said as she smiled at him, before rushing off to her room to drop off her things. 

He heard a soft knock at the door, though it was half open, the person who had knocked politely waited outside. 

“Dot.” He said with surprise. He wasn’t expecting her at all. 

“Hi, I hope you don’t mind me coming in to say hi. It’s been a while.” 

“Two weeks.” 

“How was Marrakech?” She asked him as she walked into the living area, with her arms crossed. It was strange seeing her in there, but things had definitely gotten better between them. 

One time when he went to pick Carol up, she had invited him to stay for dinner. He didn’t know what had happened, but he appreciated the change. They were amicable once again. 

Everything seemed to be aligning in his life. Almost everything. 

“Hotter than I expected.” He replied as he went into the kitchen to get her something to drink. 

“Did you have fun?”

“It was work. How was Carol?” He asked, handing her the glass of water, which she accepted. 

“She was fine, I think she’s better off here with all her belongings and with you.” 

“I think there was a compliment hidden somewhere, so thank you.” 

“You’re welcome.” She answered. “I know you’re not mentioning a certain name in this household anymore, but what the hell is wrong with you?”

“Excuse me?” 

“You blew it with Y/N.” 

It had been two months he had stopped saying her name, and so did everyone else around her, but it wasn’t easy for him. Not when her face was everywhere. 

“I don’t want to talk about it.” 

“It’s been two months. I know you’ve been seeing her everywhere. She was in Paris and in London, and Milan. She’s bigger than ever. It’s Y/N, I wouldn’t have expected anything less.” 

“Why do you care? I thought you hated her?” 

“You love her.” 

“I don’t see how that matters now.” 

“She did too.” 

“She wants nothing to do with me. She said it herself. I’m not enough, and I’m fine with that.” 

“No you’re not. I know you. She was the best thing that ever happened to you, aside from our daughter. She made you so happy. And with that, whether she was too young or not, I made my peace with it.” 

“It’s over now, but thank you for caring.” 

“Well if you’re happy right now, who am I to tell you you’re not?” 

..... 

“The young Stark Industries heiress has been seen strolling along the Seine, entertaining Fashion Week favorite designer Loki Laufeyson. The two have been seen all around Paris, Milan and London. A source close to the couple, say they are serious, ‘she says she has never met anyone like him before. And their strong friendship intensified their feelings for each other during the many trips.’” She burst out laughing, as she listened to Loki reading an article on his phone. 

“Who is this source they keep claiming they have? No offense darling but you don’t know the half of it.” Loki said to his phone, as she watched amusedly. “If she had been entertaining me I wouldn’t be so frustrated.” 

She leaned over making sure she set her glass further back so it wouldn’t fall over. 

“Wait I think this is my personal favorite.” She pointed at the article, and clicked on it. “Trouble in paradise? Member of the New York glitterati, and resident party girl Y/N Stark, has been most notably linked to Hollywood elites. As of late she has been cozying up to Loki Laufeyson, in Paris. Though she has also been seen at dinner with her ex flame, Steven Rogers, in London.”

“That’s not even Steve. It’s the new underwear model I just signed.” She pointed out, from behind, they might have looked similar, but in truth they look nothing alike. Gossip sites were becoming worse. It was lousy reporting. 

“The one with the nice legs and perfectly round ass?” She nodded. 

“Apparently anyone I’m seen with, I’m fucking.” 

“Which used to be accurate.” 

“I don’t want this shit to be out there. Anyone can see it.” 

“Right... anyone...” 

“This is way better.” She said as she held up VOGUE magazine article. “The Stark Dynasty.” 

She had to admit the past two months had been more than a welcome distraction. She had channeled all her energy in her work, travelling around the fashion capitals of the world. It hadn’t been easy. 

But through blood, sweat and tears, she had made something for herself in two months. Something she had been struggling to do her entire life. 

_She walked among the three floors of the empty office. It was bare, the spoils of a former great corporation that had filed for bankruptcy after the economic crash.  
_

_There was nothing left. A few desks, an old printer in the copy room and a couple of fake plants._

_All that was heard were the echoes of her patent leather pumps clicking, as she strode around the vast space._

_“We already have a few people interested in this place.” T_ _he lady in the pantsuit told her, as she looked around._

_“It’s a little run down, but with renovations it’ll be good as new.”_

_She could already see it. What could be. A new home. Not only for her, but for everybody part of her dream. It would be a place where everyone would feel included, and loved._

_And without thinking much about it, she was shaking the lady’s hand, and signing papers._

_She was finally doing it._

“Hey sugar.” A guy interrupted her line of view. He wasn’t that unattractive, but she wasn’t in the mood for that kind of attention. “Fancy a drink?” 

“We’re celebrating, pardon my French, but you can fuck off now.” Loki interjected, saving her time and the effort to turn the guy down. 

But he wasn’t leaving. 

“What are we celebrating hun?” _Hun? Really?_

“Big promotion.” She said as she uninterestedly sipped on her own drink. 

“I bet you deserved it. A girl like you, I bet they had no other choice but to promote you.” He smiled rather disgustingly. _When was the jerk leaving?_ “What position did you get promoted to?” 

“CEO.” 

“Of _Y/N International_. You should check that out.” Loki snidely commented, as he watched the guy leave. There were plenty of men who had an issue with women in power. 

Though her sex life had been pretty much non existent, she was relieved that at least she was having steamy (fake) sex with models according to the media. It was the longest she had gone without any, though she didn’t mind it so much. 

Her work was so fulfilling she found something to distract herself with. 

“It’s really happening isn’t it?” 

She was just at the beginning, but she already had clients. Mostly thanks to Carol Danvers changing agencies from her old misogynistic one, to hers. _Y/N International._

Which held the promise to show real beauty. What she had failed to see in people before. 

And having been around models, singers, dancers and actors for a long time, she knew there was a need for diversity, of real people represented in media.

Though no one was doing anything to change. Just like she used to believe, they didn’t think changing things was worth it, as the old way worked just fine.

It didn’t. 

There was a time she knew nothing about the real world. As she surrounded herself with people who looked like they were fresh off the runway. 

As were the people who worked for her. 

The old way was toxic, whereas the new way was healthy, and made her happy. The new way had a way to make her feel special. And loved. 

It wasn’t entirely about wanting to change things, though she was on the cover of TIME magazine’s ‘Breaking Barriers’ issue. Even after two months she couldn’t forget about the one who had gotten away. All because of her. 

She tried forgetting about him, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t get with anyone else. She had tried, but had failed miserably. 

There was no one else like him. 

  
  


“It is, and no one deserves it more than you.” 

She chuckled, as she brought the glass to her lips. She was living the fulfilling life she had always wanted, but somehow she felt like there was something missing to it. 

“What would I do without you?” 

“Self destruct.” 

She turned her head at him, in confusion. 

“Sorry, I’m not Nat, it’s her thing.” 

.......

“I’m sorry I’m late. The mac and cheese took longer than expected.” She apologized, once he had opened his front door. Her hair was a little more styled, and let down. 

And she wore a simple beige sweater, and yet she still managed to look good. He kissed her on the cheek, as he had gotten the casserole dish out of her hands. She smelled like lavender. 

In just two months he had gotten very close to her. Closer than he had ever imagined. In fact she often joined them for dinner, at times she brought her young son, but after one particular incident, she always came alone, still bringing some food along. 

“Hi Sharon!” Carol greeted her from the kitchen, where she was setting up the table. 

“Hi sweetheart.” 

She took off her coat and put it on the coat rack. It was as if she lived there, as she was there so often. 

“I’m so happy you’re back, I missed you so much.” She told him. “I have so much to tell you.”

“Oh I heard about Caleb’s father from Sam.” 

“Yeah we went on one date and we bumped into the Wilsons. It felt different this time around.” 

After trying to going on another date two months prior, she had realized something was wrong. She had told him she knew he had feelings for someone else, but that didn’t stop her from wanting to be his friend. 

And finally he had someone to talk to, apart from Sam. He told her everything, about Y/N, and how he had fallen for her. He had made a pact to never mention her name again, and call each other if there was something about her on TV, on a newsstand or on a billboard. 

So her name slowly became a part of his past, though it pained him to do so. 

Though it was better that way. He looked between his new friend and his daughter, during dinner thinking to himself that things couldn’t be any better. 

....

It was a Saturday when she watched what used to be her room become empty, it was funny how what was important in her room, fit into a couple of boxes, the rest were carried out by movers, to put in the new offices. 

She looked up, to the mirror that was still above her bed. And sighed. She was really doing it. At times it felt surreal. But she wasn’t going to live at the Tower anymore. Something that saddened her a little. 

Though she was very outspoken about hating the Tower, it had been her home ever since she came to New York. 

It was truly the end of an era.

Looking down at her phone, she saw it was a notification from Nat. Ever since she and Bucky went their separate ways, she had been pestering her with his location. More so Peggy’s location. 

As wherever Peggy went, Bucky followed. 

But her curiosity got the best of her. 

_The Women’s Foundation gala will welcome Margaret Carter into the committee, Saturday, 6:30PM, at the historic St. Regis Hotel._

He was in New York again. She heard he was around the world with her, but she didn’t know he was back. And that made her heart skip. She was still in love with him. 

“I heard you were back here. I had to see for myself.” Tony interrupted her thoughts as he knocked on the door and peeked through the half open crack. 

“Sorry, I let myself in. I still have the key.” She said as she stood in the middle of her empty room, as the movers brought out boxes. “I just came by to collect the last of my things.”

“When did you grow up so quickly?” He asked her sighing, walking in the room towards her. It was probably the longest they had talked, without shouting. 

In fact he was smiling softly.

“The last few months. I don’t know if you heard but I finally made something of myself.” 

“I know. And I’m very proud.” 

“You… you are?” 

“I am. I know I’m harsh. And I blame that part on myself.” He admitted, as he closed the door shut. “I’ve always wanted you the best for you. Maybe it’s hard for me to think of you as anything but that little girl who I first saw on a small photograph your mother sent me when you were two. I still it keep in my wallet. I was an irresponsible person back then, I couldn’t take care of myself, much less someone else.”

Her mother _was_ never a great mother either, it was almost as if she had always resented her for who her father was. Like she saw so much of him in her. 

And in that moment, Tony felt more of a father than he ever did. 

“But I apologise. I should’ve been more hands on, and I can’t change the future. But maybe you can.” 

“What do you mean?” 

“I know about James.” 

“I fucked up.” She hadn’t talked about Bucky in a while. However it did feel good talking about him to someone. Even if that someone was her father. “I can’t change what I did.” 

“I don’t know what you did, but what I do know is he loves you. I’ve seen it myself. Hiring him was probably the best thing I did.”

“Yeah about your no sleeping with employees rule, I messed that one up again.” 

“As your dad, I don't want to know that.” He said shaking his head, making her chuckle softly. “But I want you to fall in love with someone who loves you as much, or more than I love Pepper. And if you believe James is that person, then you shouldn’t give up on him.” 

Bucky was that person. He had always been that person, even before she knew it. 

“I don’t think he wants to see me anymore.” 

“If you love him, you should go out of your way to show him how much. Sometimes words aren’t enough.”

“What if he rejects me?”

“That’s better than wondering for the rest of your life what would’ve happened if you don’t do anything.” He told he with sincerity. “Love is always worth the risk.” 

“Thank you dad.” She hugged him. Something she hadn’t done in ages. Though it felt weird so she pulled away almost immediately. _One step at a time_. “Sorry it still feels kinda weird calling you that.”

“Tony’s fine. For now.” 

“Thank you, Tony.” She thanked him, and she looked down at her phone. It was 6PM. 

“I have somewhere I have to be right now. I’ll come back later.” 

...... 

_Betsy_. Probably her most prized possession, was parked in an appositely made parking spot. She made sure it was well looked after. Though she rarely came down to admire it as she was occupied with other things. 

She grabbed the keys from the little office Tony had set up in the parking lot. And started racing towards the car. 

As she got in, she realised how crazy her idea was. She had a revoked license because of the many times she drove under the influence, that and the insane amount of drugs she had hidden in her glove compartment. 

But there was no stopping her. She was going to drive Betsy. She used to drive once, how difficult was it to drive again? 

“Y/N Stark, get out of the car immediately.” She heard Jarvis’s voice, but she already had her keys in the ignition. 

“Can’t do that Jarvis.” She said as she turned to him, as she tried to start the car. She had forgotten how to do it.“How do I start this thing?” 

“You can’t drive on a revoked license.” The banging on her window was constant and persistent, and she wondered when it would stop. Knowing Jarvis, it was never. Until she got out. 

But she couldn’t do that.

“Watch me.” 

“You can’t even drive.” 

“Don’t worry, I’m pretty good at Mario Kart.” She smiled with glee, as she managed to start it. And sped towards the exit. 

“It’s not the same thing!” She heard him yell from behind. But she was already outside, on the busy streets. 

She turned on the radio, if she was going to drive for the first time in ages she needed something to ease her nerves. 

As she heard cars honking behind her, but they were soon ignored when the familiar tune filled the wall space. 

_You can't hurry love, no, you'll just have to wait_

“Oh come on!” She groaned, grimacing at the song, she didn’t know if it was a sign from the universe, but it certainly felt like it. 

She felt a rush, as she sped past a few cars. It definitely wasn’t like Mario Kart. 

Her heartbeat accelerated and she wasn’t sure whether it was going something clearly illegal or if it was because she was going to see Bucky for the first time in a very long time. 

She didn’t know what she was going to tell him. What she was doing reminded her of when the main character chased their significant other to declare their love after the ‘Big Fight’, in pretty much every romcom (she had watched a couple of them on the plane), complete with romantic music in the background. 

It was real life. There was no script for it. 

She heard a few sirens behind her, and she cursed at the cars in front of her. It was 6:15. The event was going to start soon, and knowing Peggy she was going to arrive just in time. 

She needed to be there when she was. That detail was crucial to her plan. 

Y/N was completely unaware of the ruckus she was causing around her. Being nervous and all, she wasn’t driving as smoothly as she thought she was. And it didn’t go unnoticed by a nearby patrol car.

Which started following her, sirens and all, which should have urged her to pull over. But at 6:17, time seemed to be dwindling and she wasn’t going to stop for no one, especially not for the police. 

As she approached the St. Regis, she parked Betsy in a disorderly manner on the sidewalk. And made a run for the crowd of paparazzi in front of the hotel. Probably snapping pictures at the people posing on the red carpet. 

Margaret HAD to be there. 

She stood behind the paparazzi, carefully hiding from the police officers who were still looking for her. 

Minutes passed, and there was still no sign of Margaret, or James. Until she heard her name being called out loud by the photographers. She was there. Which meant Bucky had to be there as well. 

“Wait! Let me through.” She said as she squeezed through the paparazzi. “Bucky!” 

She saw him. He was walking behind Peggy. He was so close. But he didn’t hear her. 

She must have been lucky, as in that moment, as she was causing commotion, she was found by the officers. 

“Ma’am, you’re going to have to follow us down to the precinct, for driving on a revoked license.” 

“Can everyone just shut it for one second? I’m trying to say something.” 

“Bucky!” 

That time, he had heard her, and their eyes met, as her heart started beating faster. He didn’t look different than the day they had gone their separate ways, but God, she had missed him so much. 

She didn’t have much time, so it was truly a ‘now or never’ moment. So she jumped over the barrier dividing the red carpet and the streets. 

“ _That’s Y/N Stark!_ ” She heard one of the paparazzi say, as they all started taking pictures of her. But that didn’t stop her. 

“Bucky, I’m sorry I didn’t fight for us. I’m sorry I tried to keep you hidden for as long as I did. I am not ashamed of you. I have never been. I… The truth is, I want to be seen with you. I want to hold your hand and go on dates.”

Her eyes started to water, and even though it would’ve probably been on every website the next second, she didn’t care. 

Her romantic speech wasn’t going as well as she had hoped. 

“All I ask for is one date, if you want we can go and see _Mamma Mia_.” At that point she was begging, as she watched Bucky. He looked at her, his expression wasn’t changing. He was right to be mad at her. She had been awful to him. 

“Which I have never seen because let’s face it, the vocals in the movie weren’t exactly top notch.” She joked, and the people around her chuckled. 

“If you say yes, I’ll tell you I love you each day, and each hour. something I should have done before. I love you Bucky. I don’t care if you don’t want to be together, all I want is for you to speak to me again. Because each day without you is worse than the one before.” 

“What did you just say?” He asked softly, and she found herself in front of him, like the way they used to be. 

“ ** _I love you_**.” 

There they were. The words she had struggled so much to say, and that he wanted to hear all along. 

They were surrounded by a flurry of questions, and the cameras kept clicking, but it all seemed fainted by the growing smile on his face. 

And in that moment, all she could see was him. She had missed looking at his face. She wanted to look at it forever. 

“ _Y/N! Who is he?”_

_“Y/N! Is he your boyfriend?”_

“I don’t know, are you?” She asked him, and as seconds passed since that question, the tension heightened around them. 

Words weren’t needed, as his lips lightly brushed on hers, their eyes gazing into each other’s. She was just an inch away from being his completely, but she relished in the moment before. It was a crescendo, the heavy breathing, a moment so intimate it gave her chills. 

And when he kissed her, his lips soft and luscious against hers, she knew for sure. 

_It was just the beginning._


	29. It’s Only The Beginning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> THIS IS THE EPILOGUE. I can’t believe I finished it! I had so much fun writing it and I’m so happy with how it turned out.

  
  
  
  
  


“Would you look at this.” She spoke as she held out her phone to him. She never thought she’d see the day, James Buchanan Barnes beside her in swimming trunks. 

A lot had changed in the  _ three years _ they had been together, for example his beard. Which he grew under much begging (both in and out of the bedroom) from her part, which paid off eventually. 

There had been a lot of fighting over stupid little things, which was eventually followed by the steamy makeup sex (probably the only reason why she started small fights in the first place). 

“Out of all the places to look at your phone you have to do it on a beautiful island?” 

“ _ Our _ beautiful island.” Tony had been very generous to gifting them his private island as their wedding gift, insisting he could buy a new one.

They had gotten married on the island where they had fallen in love with each other, with only a handful of guests. She didn’t need anyone else but him.

Marriage was never something she had considered growing up. Especially as she got older, she gave up on the idea completely. It was an idea that seemed outdated to her. 

But when it came to James, the idea of spending the rest of her life with him didn’t sound so bad after all. 

She could already see herself in his house in Brooklyn, as she kissed him before going to work, which wouldn’t be different from what she had been doing in the two years since she had moved in with him. 

_ Nothing had to change. Nor it was going to.  _

Except her relationship status. Married.  _ Happily _ . 

  
  


“Though you might want to see this. It’s my Wikipedia page.” 

“Your  _ Wikipedia page _ .” He said sarcastically as he took off his sunglasses to show off his eyes. Even after all that time, she still wasn’t tired of them. Or him. 

“It’s very serious, it’s the first page that comes up when you type my name in.” She said as she put the phone right in his face.  _ “Y/N Barnes-Stark _ .” 

She couldn’t help but smile at repeating the name. She could get used to it, it was growing on her more than she thought it would’ve. And why wouldn’t it? 

It was  _ his _ last name. She added his last name to hers. A decision that was taken at the last minute but with no regrets. 

It was the thing about being in love, things she believed to hate, somehow became tolerable. From small things like Valentines Day, to big steps such as spooning, cooking a meal together. And kissing…

Being in love made it all the better. 

“I must admit, even though I despise hyphenated names, I guess mine isn’t that bad.” She said jokingly as she out her phone away, as she saw him smile. 

“You know our kid will probably have to bear that horrible hyphenated surname.”

She turned her head towards him, and stared at him silently, cocking her head in shock. 

“ _ Wait… _ how do you know?” 

She had kept everything under wraps, very private so no one would know. Well, except Carol who was with her when she discovered the news. 

His face was something she wished she would’ve filmed as it stayed in a state of confusion for a second, slowly transitioning to slight denial at the fact that he must have heard it wrong, then in a state of complete joy. 

“ _ Are you serious _ ?” He asked, unable to stop smiling. As she nodded, he couldn’t help himself but stand up and pick her up, spinning her around. Seeing him that happy made her happier. 

_ He was going to be an amazing father.  _

He kissed her as soon as he put her down. Every kiss he gave her felt like their very first. So passionate, and full of love. Needless to say, the spark was still very much alive. 

And she was absolutely sure, the future was going to be brighter than the present. 

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it’s not exactly over. I might write something, some one shots (for example: about their first date, or their wedding), about what happened in the three years leading to their marriage or what happens afterwards. If you have any suggestions to what you’d like to read feel free to write them down. (I’ll get to them eventually). 
> 
> As always, I want to thank everyone for the immense love. I love you all. 💗


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